a/n: me when i tell myself i'll never write another long post again only to end up here. with another long post. this is a thank you for 600 followers!! hi!! i love all 600 of you!! i genuinely gave up with the warnings half-way writing this but i think everything is generally covered... uhm. holding the hand of every nathan the nobody fan... im so sorry but he's not here... i couldnt come up with anything...
synopsis: those three words just slip out before you can think to stop them. a reaction, and consequence.
includes: slenderman, jeff the killer, jane the killer, nina the killer, homicidal liu + sully (separate), the bloody painter, nurse ann, eyeless jack, laughing jack, hobo heart, ticci toby, clockwork, jason the toymaker, the puppeteer, zalgo, x-virus, laughing jill, candy pop, dr smiley, kagekao, kate the chaser, the doll maker, judge angels, zero, rouge the proxy, emra, zachary the proxy, tim wright, brian thomas, alex kralie, jay merrick, and jessica locke.
warnings: gn!reader, varying lengths, not proofread. depictions of unhealthy relationships in some segments, fluff and angst, self-worth issues [liu], reader death [liu], possessive behavior [sully, laughing jack, jason, puppeteer, zero], blood drinking [eyeless jack], rosswood canon [jay], marble hornets canon [alex, brian], post-canon marble hornets [tim, jessica]
works referenced in this post: rambles and blurbs: liu edition, leave a light on,
SLENDERMAN — in complete honesty, does not know how to react. the moment those three words are spoke by you, it is going completely still. silence is the only response you'll get, and chances are, slender will just teleport away and leave you alone. you might interpret that as rejection, though that's not a thought that crosses its mind.
it just needed to get away for a moment, to collect itself, because... those words should not affect it as much as they did. slender has always believed itself incapable of feeling love. it isn't an emotionless creature by any means, it can feel anger and happiness just as much as any other living being, but love? interestingly enough, it didn't find itself disgusted by the idea of you loving it.
it wasn't sure if it felt the same, if it was even capable of feeling the same, but... it liked that you loved it. enough so that it starts to share a bit of its lifeforce with you, unbeknownst to you. you can't love it if you're dead, after all. you won't notice a change for a long time, and maybe when you finally do, slender might be able to tell you whether it loves you or not.
JEFF THE KILLER — will have two reactions the moment those words slip from your mouth. first, he'll freeze. this reaction will only last for a second, maybe two, depending on the situation. if your goal was to catch him off guard for whatever reason, then congratulations, you've done it! it makes him feel sick to his stomach knowing that those three words coming from you of all people has his brain short circuiting.
his second reaction will be to scoff, and mutter a quiet, 'of course you do, who wouldn't?'. not exactly the reaction you might want, but it's obvious that your words got to him, because he refuses to look your way and he ends up sticking a lot closer to you than he normally does for the remainder of the day.
he likes to put on this front that he's incapable of feeling love, and he'll act like he's not as attached to you as he really is. but no matter how hard he tries to deny his feelings for you, he gets weak every time you whisper 'i love you'. his hands shake and his heart stutters, and he feels so... normal. he will do anything to keep your affection.
JANE THE KILLER — is completely thrown off guard when you confess your love. she wasn't oblivious to your feelings by any means, but it's also not something she wanted to acknowledge. she'd believed that you would've kept your love to yourself, that you'd be too nervous to ever confess to her, but... you've proved her wrong, and it's something she finds herself both fond of, and annoyed by.
jane doesn't deny that she's in love with you. she caught on to her feelings early on, and as much as she tried to ignore them, you made it impossible. she loves you too, painfully so. it's why she starts to distance herself after you confess. you deserve better than her, and she can't give you the relationship that you want.
it's not your fault. the blame is on her, mostly. if she weren't so hellbent on murdering jeff, on getting revenge, then maybe she'd be able to accept your love and start a relationship with you. but revenge is the only thing she wants. you understand that, right?
NINA THE KILLER — is, unsurprisingly, thrilled when you confess that you love her. the smile on her face grows, and she can't stop herself from squealing in pure joy as she pulls you into a tight hug. she's practically shaking from excitement, giddy as she tells you that she loves you too, and that you two would make such a cute couple, and that everyone is going to be so jealous.
she's been waiting for this moment. love is something she, well, loves. so much so that she's dreamed of going on all these different kinds of dates. she has an entire journal full of date ideas, so at least you don't have to worry about planning any dates! she has that under control, don't worry. everything will be perfect.
and now that your feelings are out there, nina doesn't hold back her own. she tells you she loves you numerous times a day that it's impossible to keep count, and if she's not out committing crimes, then she's glued to your side and talking about anything and everything. and trust the everybody knows about your relationship, because she never shuts up about how much she loves you.
HOMICIDAL LIU — goes soft the moment you whisper those words to him. even though he struggles to believe that it's something he deserves, it's easy to tell that the affection you hold for him is something he deeply cherishes. he's always convinced himself that his love is a curse. everyone he's loved has died, and it terrifies him to his core that you'll meet the same fate if he allows himself to love you.
but you just make it so easy. the moment those three words come from your lips, liu finds himself unable to push you away. it's like he falls harder and harder every time you tell him, and he can't help but be selfish. he clings to that love. he clings to you, and your warmth. it's almost scary, how greedy he finds himself for your love.
even after your death, he clings. your grave is always taken care of. fresh flowers, gifts he think you'd like and whatnot. when he's not trailing his brother, he's sitting next to your headstone and listening to an old voice memo you had sent him early on in your relationship. 'i love you, liu,' your voice said, soft and sweet, 'i'm gonna tell you that every day, until you get sick of hearing it.' and he cries, because... god, he wishes you had kept that promise.
SULLY — has this small smile on his face the moment you say those words, and it's like he already knew how you felt before you even spoke the words aloud. maybe it's a bit shocking, but sully is incredibly attuned to people's emotions. he can easily read people, because he's always looking out for threats to liu. you really hadn't done a good job at hiding your feelings, so he was waiting for you to confess before making any moves.
it's like a switch flips, because suddenly he's acting like the two of you have been dating this entire time. his already touchy behavior seems increase tenfold, if that's even possible. he's always got a hand on you in some way, and he goes out of his way to whisper disgustingly sweet words in your ear whenever the two of you are alone. it's kinda unnerving, to be completely honest.
this man is so smitten with you, and everybody can tell just from the way he looks at you. honestly, it's a wonder that the two of you didn't get together sooner, because sully went around telling everyone he loved you like... a week after meeting you. onlookers can only hope that he doesn't let his... less than healthy feelings grow. but judging from the way he stares people down just for talking to you... well...
THE BLOODY PAINTER — hadn't reacted when you told him. you didn't say 'i love you', but the implication in your words had been there, and he just stared at you. he wasn't there, not really. but he still heard you. he could only watch as you left, his hand twitching like he wanted to reach out for you, but... he didn't. he was taken back to his room after your visit, and for the first time since the massacre, helen found himself coming out of the daze he'd been in.
he was crying, he realizes. a disgusting feeling of sorrow lurched in his chest, and anger follows soon after. he ended up destroying his room, and nurses had to come in and restrain him to keep him from destroying anything else before he eventually got sedated. he waited every day after his trial to receive letters from you, but they never came. he made a promise to himself that when he got out, he'd find you. maybe then you'd say those words to him.
you loved him. he knows you loved him. you told him that the two of you would always be friends, you told him that you would wait for him. if that's not love, then what is? and when he finally finds you, after all these years, he plans to make up for lost time. even as you flinch when he gently pulls you into a hug, his fingers digging into you like he was terrified you'd disappear if he let go. you love him, so you won't push him away, right?
NURSE ANN — isn't quite sure how to react to your confession. love wasn't a foreign concept to her, but emotions in general were something she struggled to understand and feel. she's not upset or put off by your confession by any means, but don't expect much of a reaction from her, either. she enjoys your company, and if you want to take that as her loving you back, then she doesn't really care.
she does love you, by the way. in her own way, at least. ann's inability to really understand any emotion other than anger is the main reason why she isn't too sure whether it's love or just... not. she doesn't want to hurt you, so she never gives you hope. just the thought of hurting you fills her with this sense on unease, so clearly she cares for you in a deeper compacity than she thought capable, right?
no matter, ann will never turn your love away. call her selfish, but she likes spending time with you. love is a slippery slope that she won't pretend to understand, but if you're okay with her uncertainty, then she'd be happy if you stuck around while she tried to figure out her emotions. it might take a while, but that's okay.
EYELESS JACK — is more than happy to tell you he loves you too, thought it probably slips his mind in the moment. he's fairly put together when it comes to his emotions, so he's quick to catch on to when he starts to develop feelings for you. he's not the type to deny himself something when he wants it, and trust me when i say that he wants you. in a romantic way, sure, but also in a 'i want to eat you' way.
there's nothing more romantic than cannibalism, no? of course, he wouldn't actually eat you. but if you're okay with it, he'll definitely drink your blood. like... often. it's his weird way of showing his love without using words. i do think that he would just assume that you know he loves you back, so unless you ask him flat out, he's just going to think that you're dating.
jack is just a very simple creature. you love him, he loves you, and that's enough for him. words will never be enough to convey his feelings, so he always lets his actions do the talking. but if you need to hear the words, then he'll definitely repeat them until you get sick of hearing it.
LAUGHING JACK — jolts like he's been shocked the moment those words are put out into the air. the strange affection he held for you was something he adamantly refused to acknowledge. he didn't want to admit that he'd grown attached to another person, and that he was terrified you'd eventually leave him and break his heart. but here you are, telling him you love him, and he... he can't handle it.
he is absolutely thrilled, don't get me wrong. his abandonment issues practically latch onto any ounce of affection you show him, and to hear you confirm that you love him is something that he could easily get addicted to. but it also forces him to confront his feelings for you, something that... is not as easy as it sounds. he'll probably try to distance himself from you following the confession, but that's not something that lasts.
jack gets restless when he doesn't see you for longer than three days, so he's quick to pop back up by your side. you've basically sealed your fate the moment you told him how you felt, because there's simply no way he'll ever let you go. even if you come to hate him in the future, he won't let you leave. he'll kill you if you try.
HOBO HEART — is overjoyed. you have his heart, so to hear that you reciprocate his feelings fills him with such a strong sense of euphoria that he wonders if maybe he'd died. he tries to keep his reaction in check, concerned that if he's too excited he might end up scaring you off. it's impossible to keep the smile off his face, though, and he ends up asking you to repeat yourself. seven different times.
there's just something so satisfying, hearing you say 'i love you'. it's addicting. he needs to hear you say it over and over again, until your throat bleeds and you lose your voice. it's been so long since he's felt this way about anyone, and he doesn't want this feeling to ever go away.
truthfully, he's not sure what he would do if you ever decided you didn't love him anymore. but that's not something he should ever have to worry about, because you'll never want to leave him, right? well... no matter, heart won't let another person he loves leave him.
TICCI TOBY — doesn't really know how to react. his first instinct would be to push you away, but he doesn't want to do that. after letting his walls down around you, he doesn't think he'd ever be able to just put them back up. you meant so much to him now, and even though he's not sure if the feelings he holds for you are romantic or platonic, he doesn't want to let you go.
it's an awkward conversation, one he wants to avoid, but he does sit you down and tell you that he's unsure of how he feels. and you're so understand, because of course you are. he can't lie, a small part of him had been hoping you'd freak out on him and he'd have an excuse to cut you out of his life but fuck. you're a sweetheart. things are normal after that conversation, shockingly enough.
you never bring up your feelings for him again, leaving him with his space to mull the confession over and sort through his own feelings. toby reciprocates your confession months after the fact, in the early morning when you've only just opened your eyes. he whispers the words so quietly that you wondered if maybe you'd been mistaken, but he repeats them. everything remains the same, but it's all different.
CLOCKWORK — physically recoils from you the moment those words slipped from your lips. you were meant to be nothing more than a way to pass the time, really. a warm bed for her to sleep in when she didn't want to be alone. love was never something that was supposed to happen, and she had made that pretty clear the moment you two started hooking up.
you had to stop her from leaving, catching her wrist before she can get out of bed. an argument was inevitable, but it still got pretty heated. you both said mean things, and natalie ends up storming off before things could get worse. she goes weeks without talking to you, and she feels miserable because of it. she never realized how attached she'd gotten to you until now, and she hates it.
it would take somebody else stepping in for her to get her shit together. either you trying to move on, or one of her friends (very loose term) telling her she's being a loser for leading you on. either way, she's banging on your door in the middle of the night. the moment you open it, she's kissing you. she's never done anything like this before, but it makes her sick not having you around so if a relationship is what you want, then... she'll try.
JASON THE TOYMAKER — expects you to love him. you're meant to be his other half, so it's required that you reciprocate his feelings, otherwise he'll kill you. you saying the words out loud is nice to hear, and he smiles every time you say them. he probably needs to hear it multiple times a day, truth be told. he might start having doubts, if he doesn't.
oddly enough, jason doesn't tell you he loves you back for a long time. maybe he's concerned that if he does, it'll jinx your entire relationship and he'll be forced to kill you and find a replacement once again but... if he is concerned, he never voices it out loud.
of course, now that you've said those three words, jason will never let you go. your fate was sealed the moment he decided you were his special one. the only way out of this is by dying, or... getting incredibly lucky and living the rest of your life on the run.
THE PUPPETEER — refuses to give an outward reaction to your confession. he'll try to keep his face stoic, making a vague sound in the back of his throat to let you know that he heard you. he won't say it back, but you'll know he loves you in the way his strings absently coil around your limbs. he's never been the type to verbalize his emotions, not when he views his love for you as a weakness.
and if you thought that the man was possessive before, then it only increases tenfold now that he's aware that you love him. if you're not a proxy already, then he'll definitely consider making you one just to ensure that you're stuck with him for the rest of your life. that would require putting you through hell, though. that thought is the only reason he hasn't gone through with it yet.
both emra and zachary are well aware of his feelings for you, as well. they don't outwardly use it against him, but whenever they (zach, to be specifically) really want something, they have you ask him because they know he's more likely to listen to you than anyone else. so long as you don't ever try leaving, then your relationship with him will remain perfect.
ZALGO — is thoroughly amused, that's for sure. in the thousands of years of his existence, he's not sure he's ever heard anyone utter those words towards him before. perhaps a few lovers of the vessels he's possessed, but that affection was never for him. not even the cults he has would be so bold to declare love for him. fear, respect, awe... he expects those. but love?
such a mortal emotion is beneath him, so he tells himself. and yet here you are, still alive. still by his side. he's done nothing to rid himself of you, and actively goes out of his way to murder anyone who suggests you might be a weakness. how idiotic to assume one mortal human could be his downfall. he keeps you around because you entertain him, that's all.
but you know better. he's always around, even when he doesn't need to be. he keeps you company, even when he doesn't have to. he never tells you off or pushes you away when you wanna hold the hand of whatever vessel he's possessing. he might never say the words out loud, but you know.
X-VIRUS — actually jumps with joy when you confess to him. cody wears his heart on his sleeve, so he can't mask his excitement the moment his brain processes your soft 'i love you', and he ends up pulling you into a suffocating hug before quickly letting go and apologizing.
to be honest, cody had been trying to figure out the right time to tell you about his feelings. he's never been in love before, but he knows that he loves you because his heart races whenever you're around, and he kinda wants to lock you up and handcuff you to him whenever you have to leave. he'd never do that! not without your permission, at least, but the thoughts are always there.
and now that he knows you feel the same, cody won't shut up about you. he's constantly telling everybody that he's your boyfriend, and that the two of you are in love. he can't help it! he loves you so much, it's impossible for him to contain it.
LAUGHING JILL — is very certain that her heart melts when you tell her you love her. for a moment, she wonders if she had misheard you, or if you had meant the confession to be for someone else. but there was nobody around, and you were looking at her expectantly.
the excitement she feels is dizzying, and she's barely able to squeak out a soft 'really?'. the moment you reassure her that, yes, you very much do love her, it's like a dam breaks. she's throwing her arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug, tears streaming down her face as she's overwhelmed with emotions she didn't know how to describe.
for a long time, jill thought that anger was the only thing she could ever feel. after everything that has happened, anger became the only emotion she knew how to properly register. meeting you brought so many new emotions, and to know that you felt the same way about her was just... overwhelming, to say the least. she just loves you so much.
CANDY POP — is conflicted. on one hand, he finds himself thrilled at the idea that you love him. it feeds into his ego, and he thrives off whatever attention he can get from you. but on the other, he's annoyed. romance is a tedious thing that he doesn't want to entertain. he's a big, bad, evil, and scary monster. you're stupid for loving him.
but even as he says all of that, he's clinging to you. he has his cheek resting on your head, or your shoulder, pouting about how you're going to make everyone think he's gone soft. he hasn't, you both know that, but he likes to pretend, and you let him. there is so such thing as soft with him. but, he has gotten attached, so you're comforted by the fact that he won't kill you, at least.
he's always on edge. candy isn't an idiot, he's well aware that the feelings you hold for him right now very well may change in the future, and that thought makes him feel restless. he's not against dragging you into the abyss and forcing you to stay by his side if he so much as gets the idea that you're trying to leave him.
DR SMILEY — cocks his head to the side at your confession. love? he's familiar with the concept. he's studied people, and seen lovers cry over each other's corpses after performing his experiments and whatnot, but... you love him? either you lack morals, or you're just incredibly stupid. perhaps both, honestly, he can't decide. he almost wants to laugh in your face with how absurd those three words had been, but he doesn't.
damien doesn't reject you, interestingly enough. maybe you only said it in an attempt to get him to spare you, or maybe you actually meant it. he isn't sure, and he doesn't really care. you've caught his attention, and he wants to keep you around long enough to study you. a living subject would be good, after all the dead ones he's picked apart and devoured already.
he might not understand your reasonings for the confession, but he's more than happy to play the part of a doting boyfriend if that's what you truly want. he might even treat it as another experiment for a while, but... it starts to become oddly genuine, the longer it goes on. he's not sure he'd be willing to let you go, if you ever tried to leave.
KAGEKAO — will definitely need a couple hours to even process that you had meant the confession, and that it wasn't some odd little joke you'd been trying to tell. he treats life like a game, so it's always so strange when something serious happens that he can't make a joke out of. he's had serious relationships before, though that was before he even realized he was gay.
he'd always believed relationships just weren't for him, also. a long-term relationship always led to heartbreak, and flings were much more his style. neither of you were meant to get attached, and yet here you are, telling him you love him. and he... he isn't rejecting you, oddly enough.
your relationship with him changes after the confession. it's never spoken about out of fear that acknowledging it might ruin everything, but kagekao does start behaving like a boyfriend rather than an fling. he doesn't leave immediately after hooking up, and his touch starts to linger. he can love you back, he thinks.
KATE THE CHASER — considers you her home, so to hear that you love her? it just solidifies in her mind that you are her safe space. you, for whatever reason that freaks her out if she thinks about it too much, accept her for who she is. you love her, despite all her flaws, and that's not something she ever expected. it's not something she felt she deserved.
words will never be enough to convey how deeply kate loves you. you do so much for her and never expect anything in return, and she would give you the entire world if she could. even on the days where she wants nothing to do with anybody and shuts you out, you still wait patiently for her. it makes her sick, sometimes.
your love is the one thing she allows herself. as a proxy, she knows that she'll never be able to hold a normal relationship. it's a wonder why slender was allowing her to maintain this relationship with you in the first place, but she won't question it. she'll be selfish, and drink up all the time she has with you.
THE DOLL MAKER — truly thinks he misheard you. his heart lurches, a spark of hope in his chest, but... no. no, he was just hearing things. he shouldn't get ahead of himself. romance isn't something he's well versed in, so when he fell for you, he fell fast. but there's no way you'd ever feel the same. but then you're carefully cupping his cheeks so he's forced to meet your gaze, and you're repeating your confession.
and oh. maybe miracles are real. he chokes up a bit, shedding a few tears and burying his face in his hands so you don't see him like this. it's a really soft moment, and he gets emotional every time he thinks about it. he never thought his feelings could be reciprocated, but you always have a way of proving him wrong.
he wants to be the perfect boyfriend for you. you deserve only the best, and he refuses to give you anything less. vine will cherish you for however long you'll choose to stay in his life. and he hopes that if you ever decide to leave, he'll be able to let you go.
JUDGE ANGELS — goes quiet as she processes your words. love is a sensitive topic for her for many different reasons. she's always dreamed of being in love, and she's read far too many romance novels in her spare time just to fantasize about what it might be like, but to hear that someone actually loves her... it's not something she ever expected, honestly.
dina isn't entirely sure how she should respond, and she ends up overthinking it and getting lost in her thoughts for so long that you have to awkwardly tell her that it's okay if she didn't feel the same, and that you'd still love to be her friend. you were giving her an out, one that she's quick to shut down as she stumbles over her words. she's not rejecting you, no! you just caught her off guard.
the relationship between the two of you develops at a steady pace. you're her first time for every single thing, and you're always ensuring that she's comfortable before doing anything. it makes her heart melt, every time you gently ask if she's okay with the affection you give her. you are the greatest thing that's ever happened to her.
ZERO — actually laughs in your face. are you crazy? no sane person would ever fall in love with her, so you have to be just as fucked in the head as her, no? out of the billions of people in the world, you just had to give your heart to the woman who wouldn't hesitate to crush it in her hands without a second thought.
she's attached to you to some extent though, judging from the way you're still alive. she doesn't know how you've managed to make her attached, and she'll get really angry if you even try pointing it out to her, so just be happy with what she gives you, yeah? it's the closest thing to love you'll probably ever get from her.
but don't think you can fall for anyone else, either. in zero's mind, you belonged to her the moment she decided to keep you around. if she sees you getting all buddy-buddy with another person, she'll kill them in front of you. consider it a lesson for thinking you could live a normal life after her.
ROUGE THE PROXY — acknowledges your confession with a slight nod. she's never hidden her own feelings for you, making her love abundantly obvious with the way she followed you around everywhere to ensure your safety. but it's also something she struggles to voice out loud. after everything she'd been through, showing any ounce of vulnerability is... well... scary.
taking care of you became second nature to her, and that naturally led to her falling in love with you. but to hear you felt the same way? it's... strange. she's happy, don't get her wrong, but she feels cornered. like something horrible will happen if she so much as indulges in those feelings.
you'd have to take this relationship step by step for her to even think about giving it a try. she's still fiercely protective over you, obviously, but she's withdrawn herself just a bit. if you really want this to work out, you just need to stay patient. once she gets out of her head, then everything will work out.
EMRA — smiles sadly when you tell her you love her. if life had been different, she would've been able to tell you the same, but she could never put you through the hell that would come with her loving you. it's bad enough that she's even risking your safety by interacting with you like this. your company is the one selfish thing she allows herself, but she didn't think you'd fall in love with her.
the puppeteer is fiercely possessive over her, so much so that he barely even lets zachary visit her. you could get in a lot of trouble if he ever found out you were sneaking around to visit her. after your confession, emra doesn't have much of a choice but to turn you away when you try visiting her. this is for your own good, she tells herself. you shouldn't put yourself in harms way just to talk to her.
and it hurts, shutting you out like this. she wants nothing more than to pull you into her arms and never let go. if she could cry, then she'd be shedding an endless sea of tears over the 'what if' scenarios her mind conjures up. but if cutting you off means you get to survive another day, then that's just a pain emra will have to go through.
ZACHARY THE PROXY — finds himself looking around the moment you speak the words into existence. he's on alert, making sure nobody is around before he's lowering his guard and quietly telling you he loves you too. he can never be too careful when around you, because the puppeteer is always watching. and zach, he didn't want you getting involved with that bastard.
but he's selfish, incredibly so. emra tells him that he should let you go, that you'll be safer if he didn't get involved with you. and sure, that's probably the truth, but he didn't care. he did so much for his 'master', so he thinks he deserves to have something for himself. he's gone this long without the puppeteer learning about your existence, and he's confident he can keep it like that for a while.
and should the puppeteer ever find out about your existence and zachary's relationship with you, then... be prepared for your entire life to be turned upside down, because zach won't hesitate to tear you out of your little life in society and keep you trapped in some cabin in the woods just to keep you safe from his master's will.
TIM WRIGHT — can't help but feel a bit guilty when you tell him you love him. after everything that he's been through, tim doesn't feel worthy of love. love, in general, is something that scares him now. everybody he's ever loved in some way ended up dying, and that's a weight too heavy for him to share with anyone else. just the thought of you getting hurt makes him sick, and that's the logic he uses when he cuts you off.
he completely disappears from your life. tim would go as far as to change his number, too, just to keep you from contacting him. he doesn't deserve you, you have to understand that. cutting you off like this will make you realize that he's not worth your love, and that you deserve so much better. someone who can love you back in full.
and though he cuts himself out of your life, he does keep check on you. tim doesn't want to admit it, but he truly does love you. he checks your social media every other day to see if you've posted anything new. it's the only way he can keep you close, because there's no way he'd ever allow himself back into your life.
BRIAN THOMAS — smiles like you'd just handed him the world the moment those three words escape your lips. he's pulling you into a kiss and whispering back his confession while lacing your fingers together. the two of you had been dating for a while now, and he'd been waiting for you to say those words first because he knew he loved you the moment he laid his eyes on you.
brian knows he can come on strong, and he didn't want to risk scaring you off with the overwhelming affection he held for you. he's taking everything at your pace, step by step. to any onlookers, your relationship with brian was simply perfect. the two of you resolved arguments quickly, and neither of you ever crossed any boundaries without talking to each other about it first.
so when brian disappeared, you were distraught. nobody seemed worried, and you couldn't get in contact with tim. it wasn't until jay contacted you about marble hornets that you began to get any leads on where brian might be. there was nothing that could stop you from searching for the man. not even the strange messages from some unknown number, or the occasional glimpse of a hooded man from the corner of your eye can scare you off. you will find brian. you will bring him home.
ALEX KRALIE — was in the middle of writing the script for marble hornets when you whispered those words in his ear. he'd been so focused on the project that he hadn't even realized you'd shown up. if this was your way of distracting him from work to get him to take a break, then it's working, because he finds it increasingly difficult to focus on anything other than you.
your relationship with alex was something the entire crew knew about. whenever he'd get stressed on set and snap at people, jay would end up calling you to talk to him. just talking to you was enough to distract him from whatever was stressing him out. everyone thought the two of you would have a happily ever after, honestly.
you thought that would've been the case, too. but the blood on your hands tells you otherwise as you stare down at alex's corpse. you're only vaguely aware of tim behind you, and you just feel so... lost. how did it come to this? life had been so perfect. and now everyone is dead. the love of your life is dead. how are you supposed to move on from this?
JAY MERRICK — almost trips over himself when you first say those words. you say them so casually that it catches him off guard, and he had to steady himself against a wall to overcome the wave of euphoria that hit him. you two had only been dating for a few months, and he'd been wondering when the perfect time to say 'i love you' would be. thank god you said it first, honestly.
his relationship with you was, in every aspect, perfect. he never thought a silly crush on you back in college would get him anywhere, but now the two of you are buying a house together and he'd been looking at rings recently. genuinely, there's nothing in life that he could possibly ever want, not when he has you by his side. but... then alex called him.
he doesn't know how much time as gone by. he can't remember the last time he's seen the sun. it's probably only been a couple of days, but it feels like months have already passed. he's pretty sure alex is dead, and he feels like he's going to go insane. all he can think about is his last conversation with you. a promise that he'll be home soon. god, he hopes you can forgive him.
JESSICA LOCKE — feels a little dizzy when she processes your confession. her heart is racing in her chest, and she stares at you for a solid three seconds before a bright smile is blooming on her face and she's laughing. it's not a mean laugh, no, it's a relieved one. she thought that her feelings for you might have been unrequited, so to hear that they aren't? well, she just can't help but laugh at herself for being so worried.
honestly, she didn't think dating was possible after everything that happened. it's a silly thought, and she knows that, but the thought of doing anything after the apparent horrors she'd gone through... it was weird. life as a whole felt weird.
after everything she's gone through (though she still can't remember most of it), it's a breath of fresh air being able to just... enjoy a normal relationship. she doesn't have to worry about anything trying to kill her, she can just relax when you're around and laugh at your stupid jokes while watching some awful action film during movie night.
I keep imagining this very specific image of Celine in a sharp business suit with one of those long jackets, sporting an entirely unimpressed look as someone berates and beliddles her, before snapping her fingers, which causes a massive demonic werewolf to emerge from the shadows behind her. "Rumi," she slowly raises her hand and points at the man. "Kill." Instantly, the man is torn to shreads, and Celine simply smiles.
Anyway, I want to make this into an actual AU, so hear me out. Apologies for the wall of text below the cut.
So, in this AU, Celine is either the head of an organization or a solo act. Whatever the case, she is incredibly well known in the criminal underworld. She has a reputation for being cold, calculating, and above all, ruthless. And on top of that, there's her gaurd dog. A powerful, violent, demonic werewolf creature that is also remarkably stealthy. As the rumors go, if Celine is in the room, so is the wolf, even if you can't see it.
Of course, there are a hundred and one rumors on how Celine acquired this creature. Some think she created it. Others say she summoned it. Some even believe she made a deal with an ancient demon for the wolf's service. None of them know the truth.
The truth is that the wolf is her daughter, born from the union between herself and one Ryu Miyeong, who is actually a demon (yes I'm making Miyeong a demon in this AU cause I can). Though Miyeong isn't like other demons. She is the kindest, nicest, sweetest woman ever. Celine could probably count on one hand the number of times she's seen her wife get anything more than a little annoyed at something.
Yes, the secret about Celine and the wolf is that behind closed doors, away from public perception, they, along with Miyeong, are a genuinely sweet and loving family. The only people who know the truth about them are the residents of the small farmer's village Miyeong lives in. A village that has almost no contact with the wider world. Miyeong prefers it there over the hustle and bustle of the city her wife and daughter do their work in.
In regards to Rumi, she has both a human form and a werewolf form that she can switch between at will. When she's in human form, she has a few demon and wolf features that make her distinctly Not Human if you look at her for more than a few seconds. However, she can make most of those traits receed if she focuses, leaving her with just abnormally sharp teeth and a few errent demon paterns. When Celine is working, however, Rumi spends the entire time in werewolf form, stalking the shadows and keeping a watchful eye on her mother, ready to act at a moments notice.
Of course, all of that is set up. We need the actual plot. Which also means we need Mira and Zoey.
So Mira and Zoey work for a group whose goal is the hunting and killing of demons. One day, on one of their patrols, they come across Rumi (in human form) getting attacked by a small group of demons. They save her and introduce themselves, after which one of them makes a comment about the demons' behavior being odd, which Rumi nervously laughs off.
The three spend the next several months meeting up, getting to know each other, and of course, falling for each other (because if Polytrix has no fans, I'm dead). Rumi does keep a tight lid on her past, and while Mira and Zoey can tell she's keeping secrets, they don't push her on them.
Eventually, Mira and Zoey get a mission from their group. There is a powerful demon running a town, and they need to find it and kill it. They don't know where the demon is. All they know is its name. Ryu.
(On a side note, I genuinely think it would be really funny if the village Miyeong lives in did actually worship her, but the worship was more like genuine love and appreciation, which Miyeong uses to grow stronger, and she uses that strength to bless and protect the community in turn. She doesn't rule them. She just cares for them, and all of them are there of their own free will.)
There is one lead the group has on this demon. That being the rumors of the demon werewolf. Anything that powerful must be linked to Ryu (oh if only they knew). Unfortunately, said werewolf is currently under the employ of renowned crime lord Celine, an adversary Mira and Zoey would very much not like to piss off. Unfortunately, duty calls, and they must obey.
Mira and Zoey track and corner Celine when she's alone, threatening her to come peacefully. She refuses, they attack, and Celine calls her guard dog (notably, Celine does not call Rumi by name, as she wants to keep as much information about her family a secret as possible). Rumi busts through a wall in full werewolf form, and the fight is on.
Now, Rumi is incredibly powerful. Unfortunately, there are several factors working against her in this fight. First, Mira and Zoey are prepared. They've dealt with a lot of different demons, so Rumi’s suprise factor of being a scary werewolf doesn't work on them. Second, Mira and Zoey are incredibly well trained. Individually, they are strong. Together, they are a force to be reckoned with. Third, this fight is a 2v1. While Celine is no slouch in combat, Rumi’s fighting style kinda makes it impossible to fight alongside her. And fourth (and most importantly), Rumi knows these girls. They're her friends. So, while her wolf side is screaming to protect Celine, her human side just wants to talk to them.
All of these factors combined means that eventually, one of the girls (whichever one you want to throw in the blender) manages to land a devastating blow on Rumi with her weapon. Now, the blow isn't fatal, and if the weapon was normal, Rumi would probably still be able to keep fighting. But it's not a normal weapon. It's a demon hunting weapon. And it fucks her up.
Rumi is on the ground, whimpering in pain and clutching the spot where the weapon struck. Immediately, Celine is on her knees at Rumi’s side. "Baby, what happened?" That cold demeanor is gone, replaced with a genuine concern that has Mira and Zoey freezing in place. Surely this can't be the same Celine from the rumors, can it?
Rumi continues to whimper, and Celine whips around to stare at the two girls. "What did you do?" There’s a seething rage in her voice that puts fear into the two women. Zoey regains her voice first and haltingly explains their demon hunting weapons.
"Demon hunting wea—" Before Celine can finish speaking, she interrupted. "Momma, it burns. Please, help."
All three women turn back to the werewolf, which has now returned to human form, and the shock that was finally leaving Mira and Zoey’s bodies returns tenfold.
"Rumi?!"
Celine turns back to them. "How do you know my daughter?!" Her rage is building.
"Your daughter?" There are too many revelations happening at once. But before they have time to dwell on all of that, they feel the air shift. The temperature drops, and the shadows begin to move unnaturally. Then, they coalesce towards a single point directly between the two groups. The shadows pull away, and standing where they were is Ryu Miyeong, her demonic features on full display, a cloak of shadow and flame surrounding her.
Miyeong quickly assesses the situation (she could sense her daughter's pain but didn't know what was causing it) as Mira and Zoey drop into fighting stances. But before they can react, she has both of them by the throat, lifting them off the ground. She speaks, and her voice echoes (think Rumi’s demon voice in the movie).
Miyeong: "Who are you to stand against the Demon Queen Ryu Miyeong?"
Zoemira, internally: "fuck"
Miyeong: "You, who would threaten my beloved?"
Zoemira: "fuck!"
Miyeong: "You, who would hurt my child?"
Zoemira: "FUCK!"
But before she can kill them, there's a hand on her shoulder. "Jagiya, please, we need to help Rumi." Instantly, her anger evaporates, and she releases Mira and Zoey, who fall the the ground, gasping as they regain their breath. Miyeong moves to Rumi and kneels down. "I can heal her at home." Celine nods, and the shadows of Miyeong's cloak spread out to encompass the three of them, and an instant later, they're gone, leaving Mira and Zoey in stunned silence.
Obviously their are still some kinks to iron out. I'm still not entirely sure what exactly Celine does. Most of this exists because I thought the idea of Celine having a werewolf gaurd dog that was also her daughter that she loves would be a cool idea.
I have no idea what the middle portion of this story would be. Obviously, there's Zoemira apologizing to Rumi and Rumi wanting to apologize in turn. Maybe some world building about how the group they're with actually isn't that great. Also both Celine and Miyeong not wanting Rumi to talk to the girls that fucking stabbed her, but she's in love with them, so she has to.
However, whatever the middle of the story ends up looking like, I know the end will be Celine retiring and handing her position to Mira and Zoey, so now they get to look cool as they order Rumi to tear someone to shreds, which she happily does cause she loves them.
( satoru with a paranoid & slightly insomniac reader,, let's go 😼 she's also kiiinda sensitive but only if you squint tbh )
satoru has never seen you like this before.
you're normally so sharp and alert. your ordinarily concentrated vision is replaced with an unfocused, glazed over expression that makes you look like you've been deprived of sleep for days— because you have been.
your far off gaze makes you seem as if your mind is on another planet, like you're not mentally awake. it's so clear just by looking at you that even though you're physically here, your brain isn't.
satoru is worried. you've been like this all week and it's starting to seriously concern him, so he finally decides to say something about it.
he comes up behind you and grabs your shoulder.
you jolt away from his touch and turn to face him with wide, glossed over, frightened eyes.
“woah, it's just me, sweets.” he immediately puts his hands up in defense.
he doesn't like thinking he scared you— even if you're not really you right now.
you seem to relax a bit after a few seconds once your delayed mind processes the fact it's just him, but you're still tense as ever— and satoru sees that.
“what's been going on with you lately, sweetness? seriously, you've been so jumpy and you look like you haven't slept once all week. what's happening? talk to me.” he speaks softly so as not to startle you again.
he wants you to feel safe around him— even in this state.
“just my mind. i've been having a lot of dark thoughts and they're fucking with my head. i'm sorry.” you mumble softly in response.
on any other day, you would've avoided the question. you would've brushed it off and said you were fine. but this week, your paranoia had been acting up so much that you physically couldn't sleep. so at this point, you don't care about hiding it. you just want this feeling to go away.
satoru's regularly piercing gaze subsides at your admission.
“when was the last time you slept?” he asks, though it comes out sounding more like a gentle demand rather than a curious question.
“i... i'm not sure.” your brows furrow together as you try to recall the last time you actually got a good night's sleep, but to no avail.
your voice sounds so much more delicate that it usually does. your vulnerability seeps through your tone— not that you were trying to hide it. not anymore, at least.
satoru doesn't need to hear anything else. he laces his fingers between yours and drags your stiff, near shattered form off to the bedroom.
he sits you on the foot of your shared bed and places a chaste kiss to your forehead.
“i'm gonna go get you your meds and some water and something real to eat, alright? stay here.”
he gives you one final look of sympathy and crystal-clear concern for your mental well-being before forcing himself to brush it off for the sake of getting himself to slowly walk out of the room to fulfill his duties.
in his absence, your thoughts start acting up. you feel a thousand invisible pairs of eyes on you and your own organs of vision widen.
you feel yourself start to sweat. it's a gross feeling, truly. you can smell your own fear radiating off your body like a dead rat in dirty sewage water but somehow, you can't bring yourself to care. not with all these uninvited terrors swarming in your mind.
it gets so bad that you don't even hear satoru re-entering the room.
he sees you starting to spiral and immediately jumps into action.
he sets your meds, water and food on the dresser that's pressed up against the wall across the room from your bed before strutting over to you.
he grabs your face carefully in an attempt to anchor you away from whatever is plaguing your mind this time. he's trying to bring you back down to earth where you belong.
your blurry vision tries desperately to focus onto satoru— it needs to. you can't deal with this alone. you need to know someone else living and breathing is here with you.
“baby, look at me. no, not at the bed, not at the window, at me. over here. there you go. focus on me.”
he talks you down until your mentally agony is just static buzzing annoyingly loud in the back of your mind. you try not to focus on it. it certainly doesn't deserve the attention after all the time you've spent with it being your top priority. (even if that was only because you were trying to rid of it.)
he walks over to the dresser and grabs your meds and the glass of water.
“here. take these.” and you do.
the relief isn't immediate. hell, you don't even feel it trying to cultivate in your stomach, but the idea that there's something in your system that'll take away these petrifying sensations attacking the space right behind your eyes seems to soothe you ever-so-slightly.
satoru grabs the plate of food he brought you— fried rice with a side of two hard boiled eggs— and begins to spoon feed you.
you feel your eyes water. not because you're sad, you're not sad. panicked, sure. but not sad.
you're crying because satoru is kind. he doesn't have to take your paranoia seriously, he doesn't have to remind you to take your meds, he doesn't have to feed you, but he does. that makes you feel loved, and you can't even focus on your cynical fears, but rather the affection you feel under satoru's care.
“there there, baby.” satoru whispers as he wipes your tears from under your eyes with his thumbs.
you melt under his touch. everything starts to feel lighter— you're not sure if that's your meds kicking in or just from satoru's presence. both, probably.
satoru gently pushes you backwards onto the bed, and the second the back of your head meets the soft cushion of the mattress along with plushy pillows atop, you fall off into a deep, much needed sleep.
you don't know it, but satoru holds and watches over you the whole night. he doesn't mind being your guardian angel and missing out on the rest he needs just as much as you if it means you'll be able to sleep comfortably in your own skin.
( a/n : sorry this is so short :( please keep in mind,, this is based off of my personal experience with paranoia. i tried not to include any specific thoughts i have so that it'd still be enjoyable/realistic for anyone,, and i'm aware that this might not be accurate to how everyone else experiences paranoia,, so if you'd like me to write something more in depth involving your own fears,, please feel free to send a request ! also i promise i'm working on a bsf satoru x reader fic !! it's about halfway done but i always get more encouragement to write when it's about stuff that genuinely concerns me and how i feel so that's why i'm posting this before that but stay tuned ! it'll be out soon ! )
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : smau . no smut . drug usage . reader rightfully freaking out . out of character . sexual assault / harassment . angst? . drunk driving . DUI . actual written part . fratjo being a flirt despite all odds . hurt no comfort? . reader comes off as an asshole . misogyny? . objectification of women . sexism . getting drugged . rape ( can be interpreted as real or a dream, but the first half is real ) . non-con . alcohol .
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑❜𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : I don't know how to feel about this one mainly because finding pictures for what I actually wanted was not possible so I tried to make do. I hope it still makes sense.
≽ . FRATJO
"Gojo?" you knocked on the door to his hospital room. Tenatively. In case of the worst, you didn't know if you should brace yourself for the worst or be glad he isn't dead at all.
The sight was almosr macabre. His entire right arm was wrapped taut with bandages, a faint red starting to bloom through the fibres. He had an oxygen mask on and a few (that's a severe understatement) more gauzes around his head and other arm. The only parts that were unconcealed by the weighted blanket.
Your steps were feather-light, afraid to wake him. Afraid to face the possibility that he may no longer be around.
You were not indebted to him. You didn't even tolerate him. But no one deserves to go the way he did. A true waste of the gift called life. And with someone as blessed as him? It really made no sense why he would be so reckless with his mortality.
The way you eyed whatever part you could of him wasn't subtle.
The way you tugged at the sleeves of your worn hoodie was telling.
The way your breathing never managed to even out, staring at his like you were trying to coax his breath out of him.
You were terrified, that was certain. Your own experiences never managing to numb themselves down. Even if this wasn't uncommon, you never got used to it.
"Ugh..." you heard the rasp. Your eyes perked up to his, your thighs practically glued to the outside of his hospital bed, expectant. Hopeful.
"What happened?"
"Beats me." he remarked. He did so with conviction and confusion, but the slight haze in his eyes was a dead giveaway. But you chose not to press. He had to come clean himself.
Some moments pass, a silence you had always lived with. Not him. He couldn't bear it.
He sighs. "Fine."
You stood there, waiting for him to start. "Rager at the house, as always." Of course. "Booze, bitches, loud-ass music." He managed to cackle — though weakly. You didn't even bother correcting him on referring to women properly, but what would that do?
"We drank. Got bored so we bailed. Too many people, too little alcohol."
Yikes.
"Went to get more bottles. Dudes from another campus came in and mentioned a party. So we got an address and went there instead."
Drove drunk twice and managed to survive? Was he just tipsy? Or has he just built a habit out of it enough that he could somehow function with alcohol in his bloodstream?
"Sad to say," he tsked. "That rager was way more of a rager than whatever the fuck we had."
Of course he'd be disappointed.
"God, they even had edibles. Poppers. It was wild." A wide grin stretched across his lips, the skin pulling apart due to the lack of proper hydration the amount of booze had left him in.
"The chicks were way out there too, like, damn." he hissed. "Swear to God some were straight-up hookers. But even the normal girls were hot as fuck."
"One of 'em came up to me. Proportions were wack. I swear she had them done but she insisted she's all natural. Said she thought I looked good as fuck," he licked his lips, wiggling his eyebrows (barely). "'Course I fed into her bullshit. Another chick to bag? Slender with heavy naturals? Sign me up."
You fought yourself from sighing or slapping him unconscious, opting to focus on knowing what had actually happened.
"Slutty, little waist; that hourglass figure was unbelievable. Full lips, she looked liked the perfect little thing to wreck. Imagine how those plump lips would feel around my cock. And I'm talking about both sets of lips."
Unamused was the least you were feeling with that statement, just waiting for when the tirade of his objectifying would end. Preferrably permanently.
"Imagine her crying when she gags. Like, imagine."
This shit needs to hurry the fuck up.
"Anyway, she came onto me, I came onto her. Suddenly, she was on my lap and pressing her tits into my face. She was a cocktease. Wore the tiniest fucking frock and got shy when she sat on my rock-hard cock. I grabbed her before she could clamber off my lap. She insisted that she wanted to take it slow but I knew she was creaming on my lap. Hell, I saw the fucking stain."
He cackled, though groaned shortly after from the pain stabbing into his ribs.
Deservedly.
"She told me she wanted me then handed my drink to me." he shrugged. "Don't know why. But I downed it and followed her."
"We ended up in a room and she kept shaking like she was scared, but I bet it was just cuz she was so goddamn horny that she just wanted to get out of her so-called dress."
"Next thing I knew," he sighed. "She was going down on my cock. Slobbering over it, mascara running down her face. I don't even know what happened between stepping into the room and what I 'woke up' to." He curled two fingers of his left arm — the still relatively functional one — to sign air quotes. "Then I blacked out again."
"When I woke up, I swear she was slamming herself onto my cock. I just felt like a dumbass mix of heavy and light. It was like — what — 3 seconds? Then I don't remember what happened after."
He closed his eyes after that. Whether he was really trying to recollect the truth of that scene or if he was just trying to forget, you didn't know.
"I guess one of my frat bros barged in and woke me up. Kept raving on about nailing bitches. I couldn't tell if he was talking about me or him or some bastard, I don't fucking know." He sighed heavily, gulping from the parchness of his throat.
"He dragged me out and we joined back into the party. Got higher. Drank even more. Then suddenly we were in the car. And I got rolled into an ambulance."
You stared. He laid there. Your mind was wracking through any possible answer. You knew what effects the substances he consumed could do, and if it was that bad to the point where he couldn't determine reality from 'dreams', you were flooded with emotions: fury, worry, panic, you might have cried had you not been so overwrought with emotions that your body simply couldn't react from the constant signals overloading your system.
Before you registered it, you had your hand under his left one, barely caressing his knuckles like you were scared that he might break.
He looked right at where your hands were joined then instantly into your eyes.
Much to his regret.
Your eyes were darkened to a pool of concocting emotions. There was anger, there was pain, there was empathy, there was recognition, familiarity, nostalgia, disgust; you looked like you've been through hell and back.
He looked away. Fearful of the intensity.
Your gaze persisted. Inside, you weren't even aware that you were staring.
Gojo grew uncomfortable, twitching his fingers as best he could, hoping that it might snap you out of it.
Nothing worked.
It wasn't until a nurse announced herself, soothing in voice and tone — that you blinked out of your stupor. You stepped aside, letting go of his hand; and Gojo didn't even realise that his barely chased after yours with a light twitch, missing the warmth and tenderness of your hold.
You listened to her report intently while Gojo was lost on it. Even though he should be the one listening, he didn't.
You were the one pressing questions, you were the one asking for his recovery period, what he can and can't eat; how long he had to stay hospitalised; how intense treatment would be; if there were and adverse effects, any neurological or internal damage, if any possible damages might be expected. The whole she-bang.
He just stared. He wasn't even impressed. He didn't even know why he just laid there without interjection.
The nurse was beautiful, he would usually jump at the chance to flirt with someone like that. But he didn't.
His stomach churned, unsure on why he felt — what he could only describe as — queasy. He could barely feel anything below his hips but that was a massive improvement from the state he was in just not too long ago.
Almost in the blink of an eye, he watched the nurse leave, barely catching something about contacting his parents.
When the door clicked closed, he came back to his senses. He let his gaze search around the room before settling on you still by his bed, your own gaze set on him.
"You're even more of an idiot than I thought you'd ever be."
"But you do love me." he winks, a full stop to the conversation.
Before he let out a groan then muttered, "I shouldn't have done that..."
≽ . NERDJO
ㅤㅤ ──────────── ❝ 【 TIMESKIP 】 ❞ ────────────
A pronounced gust of breath vapour left your mouth almost the instant you stepped out of the doors.
You had your head dropped back, eyes closed, willing yourself to get over what had just transpired.
At times like this, you really wanted a cigarette.
But no. You made yourself a promise. You made that promise for someone. And you were not going back on it.
The vapour would have to do it for you.
The gently nipping sensation of frost hit the tip of your nose. Slowly, you opened your eyes to witness a singular snowflake slowly cascading according to the wind.
You took your time to admire it, watching as it hit the asphalt and slowly melting away.
Then another.
And another.
And then a pair.
Then a group.
Before long, the streets were misted with a thing layer of snow-white wonder. And it would have been that, if it weren't for the events of the night.
It was technically the next day.
Last you checked your phone was when it was 11:47 P.M.
It must have at least been half an hour by now. You couldn't be bothered to confirm. You just let the snow fall around you, letting the cold and the sounds of the world do its talking. You closed your eyes, enjoying the little gift nature had decided to give you.
The first snow.
A special occasion, but usually better spent with—
"I'm sorry."
You snapped out of it. Your eyes opened, head back where it usually is. The peace now replaced by disappointment.
"For what?"
The other person moved, the soles of their shoes scraping against the mix of snow and stone. You weren't interested in turning.
"You want to be like one of them now?"
"You're that desperate for recognition?"
"You want to end up like them?"
Your questions never stopped, each latching onto the other person: hook, line, and sinker.
"I can't even look at you, Satoru."
The way you said his name made him freeze, the frosty air now even colder as a cold flash shot through his body.
You were more than just disappointed. He knew that.
Bile crept up his throat, but no words could come out of his maw. If he wasn't careful, what came out may only be unintelligible noises; all more pathetic than the last.
Then you walked.
You didn't look back.
He didn't even look up to witness the growing distance. It would only hurt more and he knew he'd start bawling if more than one of his senses had to bear the weight of your departing.
Snow confused itself with his tears, staining the grey of the asphalt. He felt weak but his body wouldn't crumble. He shook, hands conflicted on balling into fists or laying limp.
He knew he was wrong.
Why did he do it?
Why did he let it happen?
No one told him to but himself.
He thought back to the barrage of pointed questions you hurled at him.
Maybe he did want all that.
Did he? Really?
He had so much going for him. None of those things ever mattered to him. Why did he crack? What for? All that came out of it was losing the one person who never saw him the way everyone else did.
What could he even answer with?
He couldn't.
His mind couldn't help but think back to the moments you managed to spend together. The text messages and pictures you sent each other.
He willed himself to stop thinking about them because all it did was hurt him more and more.
But how could he? You made him feel good. Special. Those moments were treasured and serotonin-inducing. When he was alone, when he felt down, he'd think back to your time together through text or by physical proximity.
Just the thought of you made his day. Hearing your name, seeing or revisiting your texts, it all made him feel like the world wasn't as bad as it is.
Before he knew it, slobber shot out of his mouth when it got too much that his body reacted against his will. Snot came out in tandem.
One Gojo Satoru; beauty known to many to be etheral or even otherworldly, now marred by human emotions.
His parents would laugh at him.
Would they?
Would they really care?
.
.
.
Would they even care?
Did they see him, or what he could bring to the family? Did they have faith in him because he was who he was or because he was a Gojo?
Everyone leaves. This isn't new information.
Eventually, people part ways. Even if it hurts. Even if he didn't want it. Even when he begged them to stay.
But when the begging was done in silence, is it really a plea?
Silent screams.
Nails dragging down his throat.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
Who is he anymore? Was he ever someone?
Was he playing a character? Was he ever true to himself?
When was the last time he did something for himself? Did that ever happen?
His knees gave out without his brain even processing it. His hands still unable to move due to his own confusion. He was hunched over, the frost biting into his skin. He didn't even fight it or brush it off.
Maybe he deserved it.
The cold shoulder.
The icy silence.
Maybe he didn't deserve the good things.
Maybe he didn't deserve you.
His body curled into itself as best it could with his knees nailed to the cold ground. His shoulders tried to cover himself as best they could in response to the frigid air.
Flashes of hot and cold assaulted his body — inside and out. He was a complete mess. His body couldn't even process any signal properly.
He left himself to rot in the hospital's parking lot.
Despite the doors to the ER being right there, he didn't move.
Tears blurred his vision so horribly, but he let them flow, down his reddened cheeks; others dripping directly to the pavement.
He felt weak. Defeated.
No amount of apologies could fix this. How could he hope for a second chance?
You were so clear with your stance on irresponsibility and wasting lives. You complimented and commended him for being so unlike average dudes. You appreciated him for it. You loved him for it.
He did not feel like himself when he did all that. He may have felt happy. Maybe a little better than usual. But they're all such fleeting moments for when the inevitable comes: reality.
A temporary escape as dangerous as alcohol or drugs was detrimental. He knew this. Of all people, he knew this.
help me understand. How am I supposed to like the TADC finale when the ending indicates how happy the remaining characters are... now that Jax is gone? Like oh, things are so idyllic now that this specific character is dead. And I'm supposed to be happy that some alternate version of Jax out in the real world is happy and has transitioned? I don't like that. I HATE that actually. "Yeah, people will cry for like 10 minutes after you die but a week down the line they'll barely remember you existed. You're nothing to anybody actually, easily forgotten."
I don't understand why everyone is so in love with the ending
I don't have an answer for you because I didn't like the finale either 💔 I spoiled myself as much as I could as soon as it was possible and even with the extra ~month to digest everything that happened I still get annoyed or physically angry thinking about anything that isn't the Jax mindscape stuff
The thing is, like... I really don't think it's unreasonable or unrealistic that the rest of the cast (besides Kinger, I guess) feel some relief now that Jax has abstracted. He was horrible to all of them and now he is in a state where he can't be horrible to them anymore and that's got to make living a little bit easier, even if they're sorry that this is what it had to take for him to stop
Pomni, though? You're really telling me that Pomni, who's "too stubborn to give up" on Jax, who risked permanently disfiguring or maybe even abstracting herself just to hug him one last time (because remember, none of them had any idea Caine would come back, and if he hadn't Pomni would likely have just been fucked up forever) is totally chill IMMEDIATELY after being pulled out of Jax's mindscape? Right after she's just seen some of the deepest, most vulnerable parts of Jax, the parts that no one else has ever been truly privy to, and he cried in her arms and told her he doesn't want to go?
I don't believe it for a second, and that's what makes the montage of everybody having a blast doing whatever they want feel so shitty to watch (plus the fact that Caine comes back to essentially fill the void Jax left and everybody warms up to him again after approximately two minutes of wariness, even though I would think it would be much, much harder to ever trust someone who was able to dig around in your brain and pull out what triggers you the most so he could deliberately use it to torture you, but what do I know)
All this to say: I'm in the same boat as you, I have plans to create something more in line with what I'd have liked to have seen instead
ohh my god i hate this fandom dude if you hate the update that much just leave the fandom or switch to a different cookie run game
okay biiig rant incoming but just spilling out all of my thoughts about byeast 15 and the fandom
(note, critiques of the update are fine! as long as you aren't blowing things out of proportion, spreading misinformation, or attacking/accusing people or the devs, feel free to say whatever you'd like!)
also sorry if this isn't coherent im writing this randomly late at night because I've been just feeling so bummed out lowkey also please please please don't feel obligated to agree with me on everything here it's mostly my opinion
i also do NOT think the writing was the greatest thing ever, but I don't think it was near horrible enough to solicit THIS reaction from the fandom (again disliking the episode and critiquing the writing is all fine! just DONT do the things I mentioned above) I thought that the writing WAS quite flawed, but people need to also realize that the story is FAR from over and still has many chances to cover plotlines that haven't been resolved or explained
and despite the flaws I really enjoyed the episode personally
okayy now to start
White Lily: blatantly, her death was NOT suicide, nor was it promoting or telling you to kill yourself if you've done horrible things
yes, she did this KNOWING she would die, but that doesn't mean she was doing it TO die?? like ive seen someone say, this is basically like saying any person who's went to war knowing there was a good chance of them dying on the battlefield or just sacrificed themself for another commit suicide
I don't believe the story was trying to say that death = freedom either
it was that lily sacrificed her own freedom to give freedom to others, and nilla saying that he hoped she could find peace and freedom after all she's done, not that sacrificing herself and dying WAS her only way to freedom
her death was pretty much unavoidable anyway, it was a long time coming and had already been heavily foreshadowed in the narrative
even if she hadn't gone the route she went in the story, she STILL would have died
if she didn't succeed in staying awake in the rift, she would've died there
if enchantress was killed by something or someone else, she would die because of that
only thing I can think of with her not dying is a villain winning ending
if she didn't go in the rift, enchantress wins and finds her but keeps her alive since they can't exist without each other and she has to face the fact that the freedom for all cookiekind failed, everyone is dead or going to be absorbed, and there's nothing she can do
and in that situation for something she COULD do is kill enchantress, which would still end up with her death
also, people are believing that someone actually commit because of something a random person said with no evidence on TWITTER of all platforms??
even if that IS true, that's not the company's fault, nor is it a reason to attack and wish death upon the writers and employees over a likely false rumor
odd plug but I just think hyperhimes and some people in the comments adress this well
alright, now
Spice, Sugar, and Flour's fates: okay guys
they technically are NOT dead, their bodies are but their souls are still in the living world, and inhabiting a vessel (shami)
while they don't seem to have full control over things, they are probably still conscious and aware through those eyes and may even be able to speak through shami like souls do with the ultimate cookie
they are also obviously still appearing within the story- the bug forms of them could even be taken hold of by their souls and technically make them living again, though that's just a thought rather than canon
just remember that this ISN'T the end of their arcs, likely far from it
the devs have stated that the beasts have later story importance and may have more backstory explored (dominion of the beasts was only a peek, not the full story, as specifically stated in this whole video , plus more things that people seem to be forgetting)
Silent Salt: i won't lie, im definitely not sure what they're going to do with him, but he's DEFINITELY still story important, shamil is literally doing all this mostly to cause him the utmost despair, even with other reasons as well that is a main focus, as stated by him in the text itself
he also still has his own bug form, so I doooo wonder what that'll be about, quite interested to see if it's perhaps shami's version of how he previously saw him or tweaked to how he wants to know salt
also
Shadow Milk: ough
even if devsis HAS milked shami, that is NOT what they were doing in this story
he's always been set up, foreshadowed, and portrayed as a main villain and focus, I know i already talked about this but hjmbsn
the story has also been planned out for years, they wouldn't have pulled this out on a whim and change the lore entirely in a single year just because he got popular
his character and even some things about his arc had been foreshadowed before he even showed up as an npc anyways??
he's MEANT to be in the spotlight, he's MEANT to be a focus, and he always has been?? even before he was nearly as popular before he was now he was in two separate updates (theater of lies and wind archer's story whatever it was called again) and displayed as important
this has ALLLLWAAYYS been the case guys, don't blame the devs for just portraying his character how he's meant to be portrayed
the direction his story is going in also just makes the most sense- he's been betrayed and lied to about his entire life in his eyes, and is now also infused with countless other souls?? why SHOULDN'T he have gone insane??
i would go into more depth but I already talked about this and this rant is already ridiculously long
another thing- when they DO milk him, why shouldn't they?? they have high effort updates EVERY MONTH and have over 1000 employees to pay with a game that is FREE TO PLAY AND DOWNLOAD
if a character gets them extra money, why SHOULDN'T they use that to their advantage?? of course corporate greed comes into play as well but they NEED this money to keep content coming out so quickly
Sugar Swan: could this have been handled better? yes! but does that make it the most awful thing ever? no!
while I do think she could've gotten her own update she'll DEFINITELY have more story importance, this isn't the end of her dudes
also people seem to not realize that ovenbreak characters that come to kingdom do not HAVE to have the same personality/story down to the point
crob and crk take place in completely different timelines with different events and different characters- it would be more boring if they were just copy pasted exactly from their initial appearance other than having voice acting now
I don't really have much to say but I will repeat something else I've said that annoys me
cookie run players are extremely contradictory of themselves
before the update, everyone was BEGGING that sugar swan wasn't just an overpowered deus ex machina that saved the day, and then were angry when she WASN'T that after the update?? huh???
it's not just that though, they literally find a way to complain about anything and everything even if it was what they previously asked for
Ultimate Cookie: while this isn't really a debate in the fandom compared to the other things, a lot of people feel that their appearance was cut short and that they should be more important and just ???
they're most definitely not gone from the story, did you all just collectively miss THIS???
while I don't know what exactly will happen with TUC, they will have more importance
Timekeeper Cookie: just going to say that jesus christ guys her not smiling in two different frames does not make immediate mischaracterization
it's likely either for shock effect, more expression in the animation, or just to show how serious this whole situation is
dealing with shami isn't going to just be a walk in the park dude teeper had already been worried and preparing for this in ovenbreak
i WILL say that my previous statement about ovenbreak characters not being the same in kingdom does not apply to this entirely, they can change her up a bit but hopefully not too much since this timekeeper is the same one as the one in ovenbreak rather than one from a different timeline
this may even give us more insight on teeper backstory considering that guys
there are more things I could address but this post is already long enough so I may add it later
Do your write death? Like not the devil but like a character actually dying. I am curious how would the horsemen of apocalypse react to their s/o dying due to another devil. How would they react to the fact that the being that turned them human is no longer here to be there for them. Also if you do the request can you also add Asa for Yoru's part.
You haven't written anything death related so my apologies in advance this request makes you uncomfortable.
The horsemen girls reacting to your death
A/n:I will have you know I am only doing this because I am a man of the people and i got way too many requests of this specific scenario for me to ignore even if I don't like writing things like this,trust me there are way more than just these two. I do really appreciate both of you asking if I was comfortable with it though and I am...I just prefer not to do it. Obviously this isn't canon to the overarching csm au I do in my fics
Makima
Makima couldn't believe it. You couldn't have been dead you just couldn't, you were supposed to live with her together forever...at least that's what she hoped, she was looking into some way to make it so you could actually live forever with her but even if that wouldn't have worked makima would have been fine with that, as long as you got to live your whole life with her feeling the same love she felt every day with you...she would have been happy until the end
But you being torn away from her so cruelly, so unexpectedly...she couldn't accept that. If all of this hadn't happened then she could have been happy....if death and all bad things just didn't exist she could have been happy with you forever...if she had just kept going with her plan then this would have never happened. How many people had suffered like this for the death of their loved ones? Could she have stopped all that pain if she resumed with her plan?
What was she thinking? Doing that would have been the equivalent of spitting on your grave. You were the one who gave her a heart and made her feel emotions for the first time and now with these new emotions and empathy there was no way she could do something cruel without thinking of all the lives she would have ruined in the process like before. Doing what would just show that you had no effect on her and her life and outlook on the world which was the exact opposite of the truth
So she kept living as best as she could and she decided to make helping people as much as she could her new life goal, she knows that's what you would have wanted maybe this could make up for all of the evil she had done before meeting you. She hopes you're looking at her from above. she doesn't know if she could feel the pure happiness you gave her ever again but the mere fact that the heartbreak she feels is so real and devastating is evidence itself of how much of an impact you had on her...and that you actually turned her into a true human forever
Asa mitaka/yoru
When she saw your body and had the complete confirmation that you were dead yoru wanted nothing more than to slaughter whatever crossed her way. Human, animal, devil it didn't matter to her she wasn't going to stop until there was nothing but dead bodies and blood covering the earth. Now that you weren't here anymore nothing mattered to her, the only thing that could have brought her a smidge of the happiness you gave her was seeing all of the destruction she was destined to bring before meeting you
However she wasn't successful as unexpectedly asa was the one to stop her and make her change her mind. As devastated as she was she couldn't allow the devil inside of her to cause a massacre....even if she didn't care about anyone anymore either she knew that if she let something like that happen you wouldn't have forgiven her
Both tried to get over it but neither of them were successful. If asa was depressed before then right now she was genuinely considering killing herself to be with you. You were the only thing that saved her from the loneliness she felt before meeting you and after she lost you...she just didn't know what to do. Yoru was similar before you she thought the only love she could feel was for weapons and destruction but after she met you it just didn't feel the same after feeling true human love...she knew that not even watching the most wonderful slaughters wouldn't bring her happiness, nothing would after your death.
Surprisingly asa and yoru tried their best to comfort each other they both knew that they were going through the same grief and no one else could really understand them so at least they had each other. It's funny before meeting you they never thought that they could rely on one another but thanks to you you helped them get along and understand the other better....at least they wouldn't fight anymore to preserve your legacy
Fami
If fami was almost contstantly sad before then now she was full on depressed and unconsolable. You were the only light in her life, you made her understand how valuable human lives truly were and just when she had gotten that you had to be torn away from her like this...why was the world so cruel?
The fact is that she couldn't even be upset at least without being an hypocrite, you had died the exact same way she had killed so many people before meeting you. She wonders if the family, friends and lovers of the people she had "saved" felt like this too...thinking that that might be the truth makes her even more depressed, the fact that she had inflicted on so many people the same pain she was going through now
Of course her sisters tried to help her the best they could, knowing she was the most emotionally vulnerable one out of them but she really wasn't the same as before and she doest think she can come back to how she was. You were the only thing that made her happy in her miserable existence and now with you gone....what did she have left to live for anyway?
She considered asking another devil to kill her, maybe death even if she knew that her sister would probably disagree because of her love for her. Maybe in her next incarnation she can forget all about this and find happiness again...even if she thinks she will never be able to forget you no matter how many times she gets reincarnated
Death devil
To her own surprise the first thing that death did when she saw your dead body wasn't killing the devil who did this to you...but running up to your side and crying on your body. It was only the second ever time she had cried in billions of years of her existence and both of them were because of you.. because she was scared of you leaving her and now...that actually happened
She started blaming herself, she swore to protect you from anyone, any devil especially, she knew that this only happened because you started dating her, maybe if you had kept living a normal life and not gotten with her that devil wouldn't have targeted you and you would still be around here smiling...but her selfishness and curiosity about feeling love caused your burial
Death now understands a bit better why she's so strong and how terrifying the concept if death is not only for the people who are scared of experiencing it but also for the people who are scared of the people they loved passing away...she never thought she could be one of those people but here she was.. scared that she was never going to see you again and now that fear was a reality
Another thousand....milion...no billions of years could pass and death will still never forget you, the first human who has ever managed to make her feel something...to make her feel love, she will bring a flower to your grave and kiss your tombstone every year of the anniversary of your death until the earth itself crumbles away into dust... she will never forget you
