My first memory at 3 years old is of you drunk driving with me in the car Chasing some guy down because he cut you off Leading you to get out of the car to approach him Yelling and screaming Only to see that the man was grabbing a crowbar in his trunk I was supposed to feel safe around you Not petrified that you were going to fall on me or go in my room in a drunk haze You made me see and feel things that no child should have to witness You fucked me up making me have to overcome things that I shouldn't have had to Even at 24 years old I still have this anger inside that erupts whenever I see or think about you Especially when you have that hungover look with puffy eyes that makes me see red I still have the memories that haunt me and can bring me to tears Maybe that's why I can't stand drinking Or why I hate loud music because it reminds me of when you were hammered blaring the music Adding to my crippling anxiety and depression I'm still so fucking angry I just can't let the anger go No matter how hard I try I am usually a forgiving person letting it go But I can't not with you The worst part is you have no idea what your actions did to me You just think I don't remember because I was young But I remember everything clear as day And a part of me hates you for it Not that you care because You didn't do anything wrong right?
Dear dad || melindacarolinee
