best friend!reader giving jason back his teddy bear because it doesn’t smell like him anymore? i think he would bust a huge heart nut
"What," Jason huffed, looking at the battered Teddy bear in your hands, the one you're holding out to him, "He finally irritated you enough?"
"No," you murmur, looking away, proffering Scruffy a little more insistently.
"Y/N I already told you," he said, taking him, "I really don't mind if you keep-"
"He doesn't smell like you anymore," you blurt out, immediately feeling like you want to fall through the floor.
All Jason can do for a moment is blink at you, his face turning red. "I uh- why does that matter?"
"Your cologne is nice," you murmur, not really sure what else to say. I hate sleeping alone or I love you don't seem to fit. Jason doesn't really seem all that interested in you- not that way. Even if you share custody of his childhood teddy bear. And even if you don't want to think about how that would change if he ever started seeing someone.
Jason nodded slowly and tucked Scruffy carefully into his bag, his pulse pounding in his ears. And he felt a little thrill. Scruffy always smelled like you when he got him back- or stole him off your bed. And sleeping with his face buried in the matted fur was the only time he didn't have nightmares. "I'll bring him back in a couple days," he said.
"No strippers?"
"Of course not," Jason snorted, "He's not old enough."
For the @jaydick-flashfic “Superpowers” prompt. There was another reason Nightwing quit, a big fluffy reason that a cape just wasn’t right for him anymore.
Jason never died in this story. Instead he quit, and now it’s relevant to his dissertation to finally get to the bottom of this wings thing. (Ok, I just wanted an excuse to throw hot grad student Jason in here.)
was gonna do Jason Todd Week last year, but got too into writing the day 1 prompt, then sad when i realized i wasn't going to finish. heres a snippet of that, ill prob post more tmrw :>
"How's it going at WE, anyway?" It wasn't too long ago that Bruce offered him the position, not liking that he was wasting away in the manor. Tim dove headfirst into their nightlife in a way only similar to Bruce and Cass, but even they had moments of reprieve with their civilian lives.
Slowly, Tim's had been slipping away.
The question made Tim groan, taking a long slurp of his boba to chase away the frustrations. "It's going just as well as anything else in my life."
Dick couldn't help the tease, "So a complete dumpster fire that you're trying to put out with coffee and sleepless nights?"
"Hardy har har, you're so funny, Grayson." The teen held his head in his hands, elbows on the table. "It's not all bad, but everything feels like a test." Thanks, Bruce. "And it sucks, because I know that I can pass, easily, but no one can know that I can pass, or they'll think I'm cheating. Hell, even if I don't pass they'll thin k that. I'm stuck in a limbo of never enough and too much. Thankfully, Lucius has my back more often than not, although it does make me feel like a bit of a teacher's pet."
"Right, the dropout is a teacher's pet." It was too easy to get on his brother's nerves. Just as he anticipated, Tim lunged over the table, thin fingers itching to wring out his elder brother's neck. Dick cackled, twisting out of the way easily and using a palm to the younger's face to shove him back. "Calm down, baby bird! Nothing wrong with following in B's footsteps!"
A warm wet stripe is licked up his palm, but Dick was five siblings and three teams deep- he pushed his fingers into Tim's open mouth, making the younger man recoil, his face a masterpiece of disgust. " Something is seriously wrong with you Dick Grayson," Tim grumbled, Snatching Dicks drink and taking a fewslurps of it in retaliation. Dick allowed him the false win, snickering at Tim's displeasure. You can't beat the oldest. "What did you call me out for, anyway? We had boba the other week -no way you had a craving strong enough to come to Gotham." To risk seeing Bruce went unsaid.
Their relationship had been getting better, after all they've been through, all their mistakes - they were the Dynamic Duo, after all. The bond between them was solid, and no matter how far eitherof them drifted, they'd always come back.
But April was hard for both of them, and the weeks leading up... Dick couldn't stand to be around his adopted father. The resentment was too strong.
Dick couldn't stand being away from his siblings either.
Instead of forcing Tim down that train of thought, Dick offered a crooked grin. "Maybe I just wanted an excuse to hang out with my baby brother."
I really really want to read a story where Jason gets captured and tortured for the Batman’s secret identity (preferably by someone who doesn’t know who doesn’t know that the Red Hood was the second robin) but Jason just goes through the torture likes it’s nothing. And he gets stabbed and whipped and drugged with truth serums but nothing gets him to tell the truth.
And then the batfamily arrive and they ask him why he didn’t sell Batman out (because at this point they’re on really bad terms) and since he’s all drugged up, he says something like “I couldn’t betray my dad” and then Bruce just tears up and realizes that Jason stills loves him and all that Jazz.
Has something like this already been written? If it has can someone please send me a link?
"My name is Santa Claus. I invade homes and shoot Goddamn motherfuckers in the head once per year. I have such rabid fans that they can read a story about me written by Scott Lobdell and delude themselves into believing it was well written."
Holy fuck I'm in Hell.
So right off the bat, we get a Roy Harper as a small child with a boner joke, Deadpoolesque acknowledgement of the Narration Boxes, and outright lies from Starfire! They were on Tamaran this year and Roy Harper's Narration Boxes never stopped! So they do have them on Tamaran! Unless she means Tamaraneans don't Narration Box. But then Starfire has been known to engage in her own Narration Boxing, so she's still lying!
See? Although these Narration Boxes don't have her symbol to prove it's Starfire, you can tell from context it's her, the big cum dumpster!
Currently, The Outlaw Babies are sneaking down the staircase in Wayne Manor to spy on Santa Claus. In the background, Alfred Pennyworth is busy dusting when he should be busy grabbing his shotgun and blowing the shit out of the burglar in the Santa Claus outfit. How do I know it's a burglar, kids? Well duh! Because Santa Claus isn't real..ly that fat! Also, why would Santa Claus deliver crappy elf-made goods to Wayne Manor?! Whatever Bruce has purchased for the kids is going to be way better, bat-shaped, and deadlier than anything Santa's elves could make.
I told you it was too fat to be the real Santa Claus! Because I could totally tell and I wasn't just trying to cover up almost blowing the secret! Shush. You kids don't need to know what secret I'm talking about.
Oh no! It's the Suzie Su zombie Santa Claus against Red Hood and the Outlaw Muppet Babies! I'm laughing so hard right now! Ah ha ha ha!
Jason Todd Baby explains why they call themselves the Outlaws although they never really have because in Issue #37, Roy Harper admits that he's the only one that calls themselves that. But now he's decided they call themselves Outlaws, so I guess they call themselves Outlaws. They do it because they operate outside of the law! I mean, not in the same way Batman does. Or Superman does. Or every other fucking vigilante does. They do it in a cool way that's cool to the kids and makes them all cool and likable and full of angst and cool.
After they kill Suzie Su and scoop out her insides, Batman comes down to put them back to bed.
See? Being cool is important!
So far in the first nine pages, somebody has told somebody else to shut up or be quiet or shush six times! It's like the comic book is reading my mind! I've been screaming at them all to shut up every page! And six out of nine is almost every page! It's only like four or five off.
More proof that I used "cool" the correct amount of times when I described how Red Hood and the Outlaws operate.
Batman punishes the Outlaws by locking them in the Batcave where they can't get up to no good no matter how hard they try. Not like the Batcave is full of Batinternet without Porn Blockers or Teen Titans cartoons running on the monitor or a giant chocolate penny or a dinosaur that loves chocolate pennies or a Batmobile that eats super villains or a couple of gargoyles that look like Statler and Waldorf. Perfect place to ground some bratty brats that think killing an intruder that's trying to kill them is the proper way to act on Christmas Eve.
Red Hood and the Outlaws decide it's up to them to save Christmas! Because the adults are dicks and totally uncool and never actually know what's really going on ever. Especially that stupid Green Arrow one! How dare he use Roy to make all of his weapons and then allow Roy to be his sidekick so that Jason Todd could make that "worst sidekick ever" joke in Red Hood and the Outlaws #1 but then it turns out Roy was never actually his sidekick at all because Roy hated him for stealing his ideas and quit before he could become Green Arrow's sidekick. Although I'm sure part of Roy's hatred for himself stems from the fact that after telling Oliver Queen to go fuck himself, he crawled back to him and fought crime by his side for a few years.
Thanks! But it's the Narration Boxes that usually do all the cluttering, Narration Box!
Instead of being some kind of Egg Nog Nightmare, it looks like the Outlaws are suffering some kind of super villain mind trap that's making them think they're little kids! I hope Kori and Roy didn't get a good look at Alfred dusting while they were inside Wayne Manor or they might start making connections that Batman won't be happy about.
The Outlaw Babies arrive at the North Pole to find it in chaos. A battle has taken place here! Again! Poor Santa Claus! He must hate modern pop culture and its incessant need to declare war on Christmas! I wonder if Lobo was just here? Or was it American Dad and his family? Oh wait! It was probably Suzie Su's gang! Or some other Red Hood enemy. Maybe one with mind control technology! Or a laser ray gun blaster that turns people into little kid versions of themselves.
I'm going to invent that Super Villain! And I'm going to name him Pederast!
Santa's reindeer have become rabid, so the Outlaw Babies put them out of their misery. Next they're probably going to have to battle a muscular elf with dual automatic rifles and a belt full of grenades!
They split up and while Roy gets his nuts cracked, Kori faces off against Mrs. Claus the Gingerbread Woman.
That's too bad because Starfire loves coming.
The actual real enemy is a being called Plytus, a Psion. Plytus used his (or her?) psionic powers to make the Outlaws drink drugged Egg Nog and then forced them on their Santa Claus hunting mission so that Jason Todd would come murder Plytus. I think. Maybe? I haven't read Chapter Four yet but I think this is the chapter where the villain explains the entire plan so the reader doesn't feel confused by the story.
Plytus was banished to Earth's arctic by Helspont because Earth's arctic region is the most foreboding, desolate, inhospitable place in the universe, I guess. Plytus just wanted to die and because it once tortured Starfire, it was able to mentally link with her or something and learn about Jason Todd's love of dealing death or something. So Jason Todd kills it and then threatens Helspont because Jason Todd is a bad-ass that knows a bullet can solve everything.
When Jason Todd points at Helspont in the camera, we get a bit of Old Portugese [sic]! And it's a direct message from Scott Lobdell! Here, finally, we get his real voice! It says, "Please add some interlac-style lettering inside the camera-circle. The JASON TODD only words we recognize RED HOOD and please add". Obviously the note was to the letterer and initially read "The only words we recognize, Jason Todd and Red Hood." But the letterer couldn't keep them in that position without ruining the flow of the text so he spaced them out a bit and then added some more from the beginning of the note. I'd like to thank the letterer, Travis Lanham, for inadvertently (or purposefully!) giving us evidence that Scott Lobdell is a lazy writer! Why not write the dialogue for those of us who translate all of the Old Portugese [sic]?! Instead you leave the dialogue up to the letterer?! Sure, other writers have done that as well and I think it's lazy. Anyway, one final page that everybody should love!
Ignore Blackfire's servile position and extremely huge and barely covered breasts for the moment...I know it's difficult...but how does Helspont know Jason Todd and his friends are referred to as "Outlaws" when Roy admitted last issue that he's the only one that calls them that? I guess we have to take the newest evidence as the real evidence and since Jason Todd described why they call themselves the outlaws this issue, that's the way things are.
Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual #2 Rating: I saw a thing on Twitter the other day that I thought was funny. Molly Manglewood asked "If "manspreading" is assertion of male privilege, what is it when women establish a sprawling nomad encampment of bags across three seats?" Somebody replied that it was called "Feminesting." That's fucking clever! As you may have surmised, I'm don't want to talk about Red Hood and the Outlaws anymore. Maybe just a few more things! I just wish it had been a fever dream brought on by too much Egg Nog instead of a way to bring Helspont back. So does everybody think it's appropriate to bring back the villain that is supposedly the biggest threat to the New 52 DC Universe (well, you have to admit, he was at one time!) and pair him against Red Hood and the Outlaws? And I guess Blackfire is just along for the ride so she can look sexy and subservient? I can't wait!
