Found family is best family

Totally not Ned Leeds' ironfam blog. Featuring Avengers and friends!

[thatoneguyinthechair]

Hello am looking for a slave to be owned by

Sorry, slavery is illegal now have a nice day.

[thatoneguyinthechair]

New Stark Kid

Pepper: Die. Tony: Please don't die. Pepper: DIE! Tony: PLEASE DON'T DIE! Steve, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant? Natasha, eating popcorn: They bought it together and Tony wants Pepper to accept it as their child.

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New Colors

Tony, pointing at wall: What color is this? Steve: Grey Bucky: Gray Tony: Now Peter, tell them what color you think it is. Peter: Dark White.

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Sprite

Rhodey: A sprite is anything that's not static. Tony: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Happy: A sprite is a soda, you goddamn geekass bastards.

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Sexuality Reveal Party

Tony: Dammit, the printer broke while I was printing Peter's birthday invitations. Pepper: Well, what are they supposed to say? Tony: Peter's birthday party. Pepper: What do they say instead? Tony: Peter's bi. Pepper: Pepper: Works either way.

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King Peter Quacker

Peter, hungover: Please tell me I imagined claiming to be the king of all ducks. Harley: I would, but then I'd be committing treason by lying to the king of all ducks.

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Santa's Death

Morgan: Dad? Won't Santa die if he comes down a burning chimney?

Tony: Yea sweetie, let's put the fire out.

Morgan: No...

Morgan: Leave it on.

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Tony: I didn't even realize how sarcastic I was being! It's starting to become a problem, I think.

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Peter: Five little monkeys, jumping on the bed, one fell off and...

Bruce: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Morgan: Mamma called the doctor, and the doctor said...

Tony: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

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Natasha: First rule of battle, Peter ... don't ever let them know where you are.

Thor, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Natasha: ... Of course, there are other schools of thought.

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Peter: Mr Stark actually banned me from the lab for a whole week because I showed up to 'my internship' late.

Aunt May: My poor boy :(

MJ: Well, I mean, he deserves it. Getting Tony's hopes up like that, and then showing up.

[thatoneguyinthechair]

Self-burn, those are rare

Happy: Morgan, get those hideous things out of the house, would you?

Morgan: Mom, dad, Happy wants you out the house.

Tony: You carry our genes, you just roasted yourself.

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Tony's Sticky Notes

Pepper: Morgan, I think you forgot your lunch! *Holds up a paper bag with a note that reads: 'I am very proud of you and love you so much. Love, dad.'*

Morgan: Yea... I didn't think this was for me. *Holds up a paper bag with a note that reads: 'Please Peter, be good, for the love of Odin, I'm begging you, be good.'*

[thatoneguyinthechair]

Supportive dad

Tony: You don't need my blessing to go and kiss Wanda Maximoff, in fact, I'm pretty sure you were already kissing Wanda Maximoff!

Nebula: Nope.

Tony: In that case, as the archbishop of Nebula's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Wanda right on the lips!

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Attractive Fossils

Peter: Dinosaurs aren't extinct, I mean, Mr Rogers and Mr Barnes are literally walking in this room.

Tony: *w h e e z e*

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Who needs therapy when you have a Peter

Peter: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE *aggressively throws water bottles at everyone*

Pepper: Uh... what's up with him?

Natasha: He's been trying to yell mental health and well being into all of us.

Tony: *crying* Well, it's working.

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Strong boi

Pepper: What should Tony and I do about Peter? I'm worried to leave him behind while we go out.

Happy: I wouldn't worry too much.

Happy: I once watched him fall of the roof of Stark tower, stand up, and keep eating his churro like nothing happened.