I would sooner get stabbed again than have someone make a podcast about me
I was having outdoor drinks with my girlfriends when one of them mentioned her plan to do some solo backpacking in the Pacific Northwest. “Please be careful,” another friend said. “I’ve watched way too much Dateline.” Later, while checking Twitter, I ran across a Nextdoor post detailing the saga of a woman who rang someone’s doorbell and asked for a Band-Aid. She was driving a black Mercedes-Benz, the post continued; was it possible she could be scouting the place to rob later? The comments agreed that it was highly suspicious; no one pointed out that most thieves would probably not case a neighborhood in a Mercedes with a clearly visible license plate. My breaking point came when Newsweek, a magazine with 3.4 million Twitter followers, reported that an internet sleuth had discovered “disturbing” footage of Brian Laundrie, then a suspect in the death of his fiancé, reading the novel Annihilation and provided it as proof he had murderous intentions.
I say this as someone who’s been obsessed with the genre since watching Paradise Lost and learning about the West Memphis Three: it’s time to admit that true crime has rotted our brains.
With the exception of a spike in murders in 2020 that coincided with Covid, major crime has been steadily decreasing for 18 years. Even with the spike, murder rates are a third of what they were in the ’90s. You are more likely to die from heart disease or a car crash than you are from being murdered. And in the U.S., men are far likelier to be homicide victims than women. But listening to true crime podcasts, you would never suspect this. Most of the audience and the hosts themselves are female, and most cases covered by true crime podcasts are about women. It’s making women paranoid.
Pointing this out doesn’t always go over well. In August, my friend Sam tweeted that true crime “is so obviously designed to make you buckle in terror whenever you leave the house.” He was immediately inundated with quote tweets claiming that of course a man couldn’t understand the threats women face on a daily basis, the tweeters either ignoring his profile picture or unaware that Black men in America face a much higher risk of victimization.
I’m not oblivious to violence against women, on the contrary, I am intimately familiar with it. I’ve written and spoken extensively about my own attack, when I was stabbed multiple times by a stranger while walking my dog. But anecdotes aren’t data, and the fact remains that statistically, what happened to me is incredibly rare. That didn’t stop multiple tabloid magazines from emailing me after it happened, asking for interviews. When I looked them up I found articles devoted almost exclusively to crimes against white women with titles such as “My Boyfriend Killed and Ate His Secret Lover” and “My Hubby’s Killer was Hiding in the Wardrobe.” The covers are splashy, sensational, the message clear: danger is all around you. This isn’t new, but what used to be contained mainly on supermarket check-out shelves is now everywhere: on our TVs, on our computers, in our ears. “You’re in danger,” says the new Netflix documentary. “Someone could be outside your door right now,” warns the neighborhood surveillance app. “This dead woman thought she was safe,” chirps the cheerful podcast lady.
[…]
Crime stories are a fundamentally conservative way of looking at the world. Republicans bleat about high crime rates in lawless liberal cities because someone stole a toothbrush from a CVS. Suburban crime paranoia is as old as the suburbs themselves — hell, it’s why they exist to begin with. The reactionary basis of true crime is how you end up with ostensibly liberal podcast hosts defending the death penalty and arguing against double jeopardy protections. It’s easy and correct to condemn Fox News for increasing our grandparents’ blood pressure, keeping them in a perpetual state of fear about roving gangs of MS-13 coming to their gated communities, but we should also consider that other demographics might be susceptible to fear-stoking propaganda. How can we listen to story after story of women being abducted or murdered and expect it to not have an effect on our psyche? A study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania found that fear of crime and violence on television have both increased over time, despite crime rates declining, and that women reported more fear of crime on surveys than men. True crime runs on heightened emotion and fear, convincing people, and especially women, that every stranger is a possible murderer. I see women on Twitter questioning whether it’s safe to let a plumber into their house, or instructing others to rip out strands of hair to leave in cabs for DNA evidence in case the driver murders you. These are not sensible reactions, they are the thoughts of someone who has been deeply traumatized. So many true crime shows advise women to trust their instincts, but how can we trust instincts that have been hijacked by induced anxiety?
“Stay sexy don’t get murdered,” is the tagline of one of the most popular true crime podcasts, as if being murdered is a choice women make, or a risk that can be avoided if we’re just smart enough. Women aren’t stupid; we don’t walk down dark alleys alone while wearing stilettoes and lamenting loudly about how no one would miss us if we disappeared. We all take precautions, we lock our doors and let our friends know where we’re going. “Be aware of your surroundings and don’t trust strangers” is not particularly helpful advice for avoiding the one scenario in which women are most likely to actually be murdered: by their partner. It’s victim blaming dressed up in empowerment; no one questions someone killed in a car accident, but if a woman is murdered her story becomes a precaution.
Yet another thing that is primarily popular among women that is being criticized by the media as terrible and harmful.
That’s misogyny!
They aren’t even being subtle here with the ‘poor women don’t know what’s best for them’ patronizing bullshit, either.
This is just “women shouldn’t be allowed to read books it will only upset them” in a new hat for the 21st century.
Pro tip - if something is primarily popular among women wait about 18 months and then the op eds will start rolling in about how it’s terrible and people (read: women) are just hurting themselves by reading/watching/listening to it.
If you, personally, don’t like true crime or know that it’s bad for you then deal with that yourself. The vast majority of people interested in true crime don’t need your pearl clutching “concern”.
The author of this article is a woman who survived a violent crime and wishes people would stop fetishizing these things or making them a lurid spectacle. Interesting how your response carefully avoids mentioning any of that and even referring to the author only as “they,” as though you either didn’t read the article or you hope others will just read your response and agree with you without ever reading the link. If there’s misogyny here it’s the fact that the majority of true crime focuses on victimized women, reduced their suffering and their death to a fucking “fandom.” It is not predominantly men who are disgusted by this. Nearly all criticisms I’ve seen of the “genre” are from women. You’re trying to use the concept of misogyny to shame people into respecting your real workd torture porn, is what you’re doing.
It’s called internalized misogyny. It’s also the same disrespect and condescension people, not just women, have faced since time immemorial because they are interested in the darker side of life. True crime has been a “genre” since news has been able to be disseminated reliably to large groups of people at once. i.e. newspapers, magazines, penny dreadfuls.
The people who have tended the dead have always been looked down upon. The people who have been intrigued by the grotesque have always been looked down upon. Horror, crime, death, fear, darkness, all of its has always been shunned and decried as foul and wrong and disrespectful. But you know what it really is? To quote Wes Craven, “horror is a boot camp for the psyche.”
Some of us are deep into this because we already have fears and traumas and we want to know what happened so we can plot out as many scenarios as possible. You know why? Preparedness saves lives. Facing your fear keeps it from overtaking your mind. The woman who wrote this article is entitled to her opinion, but she’s rehashing the same garbage that’s been spewed about people who face and deal with death since Indian society created the Dalit class because such things are “untouchable” aka unclean, less than.
This kind of bullshit angers me so much. We don’t tell people to not look at something or that they’re less than for liking that’s bright and happy. Go and do that if it makes you happy. But don’t you dare turn around and claim that this is “rotting our brains” because it’s not. And especially don’t level that criticism at women who are interested in this. This writer’s personal bias is all over this article and it sucks that she was stabbed but the past will ALWAYS be discussed in tones that are far too cheerful and removed from the actual events. You know why? WE WERENT THERE. That’s why. We do not have the same in the moment feelings but we do have empathy. We do have understanding and that’s what we want to do. Understand what happened here.
And I’m going to end my rant here with a recommended object lesson in the problem this woman clearly has with people who are interested in true crime: Ho and watch the first two installments of the new Halloween trilogy. The second movie, Halloween Kills, one of the main problems Haddonfield currently faces is that it’s generations removed. The people who were there are still angry and terrified but everyone else has moved on and regard that behavior as crazy. Go and watch this woman’s opinion in action on the big screen. And support the much maligned horror genre while you’re at it.
A podcaster describing a stranger’s rape and dismemberment for clickbait money isn’t a poor misunderstood tender of the dead what the fuck
Nobody’s even saying you’re a bad person if you find it interesting but if you can’t admit that it might be disrespectful to the victims and families or go too far or saturate our current culture too much I think you need to take a step back. Already you’re acting like real murder and fictional murder are interchangeable here and that’s literally the kind of thing folks are referring to as brain rot. You’re willfully demonstrating that your love of true crime media has eroded your distinction between real and fantasy at least in select conversations and thats the very thing critics are afraid if when they blast that “dark” fiction in the first place. I thought our whole defense was always that we knew the difference between fantasy and reality and would never treat the two the same because that would, in fact, be fucked up.
I came close to having his reactionary "fuck you" response to calling true crime = torture porn but I know that's not fair. I think there are points to be made on both sides here, but I wanted to comment on the victima/their families perspective.
I am the family member of an unsolved murder victim. Their case is cold and messaging the RCMP for updates never seems to get me anywhere other than frustrated at their condescending attitudes. Twenty-two years later and I am still waiting on closure. I have absolutely been angered and hurt by some far-removed 'journalist' and their shitty take on a dead teenager whose death was briefly sensationalized for newspaper fodder. I remember being eleven and pelting snowballs at some tv reporter trying to report on my friend getting injured because I remembered the awful tone in which they spoke about my loved one when they died. Careless journalism can continue to harm victim's families. People need to remember these are real people with loved ones who never stopped grieving.
That being said I do consume a lot of true crime media. Specifically, I only ever seek out media on solved cases in which someone is brought to justice. I can't deal with listening to breakdowns of unsolved murders. But hearing about cases where killers are brought to justice sometimes decade's later brings me hope for my own family. Like I know those cases have no impact on my loved ones... but if it happened for them why not us?
I would sooner get stabbed again than have someone make a podcast about me
I was having outdoor drinks with my girlfriends when one of them mentioned her plan to do some solo backpacking in the Pacific Northwest. “Please be careful,” another friend said. “I’ve watched way too much Dateline.” Later, while checking Twitter, I ran across a Nextdoor post detailing the saga of a woman who rang someone’s doorbell and asked for a Band-Aid. She was driving a black Mercedes-Benz, the post continued; was it possible she could be scouting the place to rob later? The comments agreed that it was highly suspicious; no one pointed out that most thieves would probably not case a neighborhood in a Mercedes with a clearly visible license plate. My breaking point came when Newsweek, a magazine with 3.4 million Twitter followers, reported that an internet sleuth had discovered “disturbing” footage of Brian Laundrie, then a suspect in the death of his fiancé, reading the novel Annihilation and provided it as proof he had murderous intentions.
I say this as someone who’s been obsessed with the genre since watching Paradise Lost and learning about the West Memphis Three: it’s time to admit that true crime has rotted our brains.
With the exception of a spike in murders in 2020 that coincided with Covid, major crime has been steadily decreasing for 18 years. Even with the spike, murder rates are a third of what they were in the ’90s. You are more likely to die from heart disease or a car crash than you are from being murdered. And in the U.S., men are far likelier to be homicide victims than women. But listening to true crime podcasts, you would never suspect this. Most of the audience and the hosts themselves are female, and most cases covered by true crime podcasts are about women. It’s making women paranoid.
Pointing this out doesn’t always go over well. In August, my friend Sam tweeted that true crime “is so obviously designed to make you buckle in terror whenever you leave the house.” He was immediately inundated with quote tweets claiming that of course a man couldn’t understand the threats women face on a daily basis, the tweeters either ignoring his profile picture or unaware that Black men in America face a much higher risk of victimization.
I’m not oblivious to violence against women, on the contrary, I am intimately familiar with it. I’ve written and spoken extensively about my own attack, when I was stabbed multiple times by a stranger while walking my dog. But anecdotes aren’t data, and the fact remains that statistically, what happened to me is incredibly rare. That didn’t stop multiple tabloid magazines from emailing me after it happened, asking for interviews. When I looked them up I found articles devoted almost exclusively to crimes against white women with titles such as “My Boyfriend Killed and Ate His Secret Lover” and “My Hubby’s Killer was Hiding in the Wardrobe.” The covers are splashy, sensational, the message clear: danger is all around you. This isn’t new, but what used to be contained mainly on supermarket check-out shelves is now everywhere: on our TVs, on our computers, in our ears. “You’re in danger,” says the new Netflix documentary. “Someone could be outside your door right now,” warns the neighborhood surveillance app. “This dead woman thought she was safe,” chirps the cheerful podcast lady.
[…]
Crime stories are a fundamentally conservative way of looking at the world. Republicans bleat about high crime rates in lawless liberal cities because someone stole a toothbrush from a CVS. Suburban crime paranoia is as old as the suburbs themselves — hell, it’s why they exist to begin with. The reactionary basis of true crime is how you end up with ostensibly liberal podcast hosts defending the death penalty and arguing against double jeopardy protections. It’s easy and correct to condemn Fox News for increasing our grandparents’ blood pressure, keeping them in a perpetual state of fear about roving gangs of MS-13 coming to their gated communities, but we should also consider that other demographics might be susceptible to fear-stoking propaganda. How can we listen to story after story of women being abducted or murdered and expect it to not have an effect on our psyche? A study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania found that fear of crime and violence on television have both increased over time, despite crime rates declining, and that women reported more fear of crime on surveys than men. True crime runs on heightened emotion and fear, convincing people, and especially women, that every stranger is a possible murderer. I see women on Twitter questioning whether it’s safe to let a plumber into their house, or instructing others to rip out strands of hair to leave in cabs for DNA evidence in case the driver murders you. These are not sensible reactions, they are the thoughts of someone who has been deeply traumatized. So many true crime shows advise women to trust their instincts, but how can we trust instincts that have been hijacked by induced anxiety?
“Stay sexy don’t get murdered,” is the tagline of one of the most popular true crime podcasts, as if being murdered is a choice women make, or a risk that can be avoided if we’re just smart enough. Women aren’t stupid; we don’t walk down dark alleys alone while wearing stilettoes and lamenting loudly about how no one would miss us if we disappeared. We all take precautions, we lock our doors and let our friends know where we’re going. “Be aware of your surroundings and don’t trust strangers” is not particularly helpful advice for avoiding the one scenario in which women are most likely to actually be murdered: by their partner. It’s victim blaming dressed up in empowerment; no one questions someone killed in a car accident, but if a woman is murdered her story becomes a precaution.
Yet another thing that is primarily popular among women that is being criticized by the media as terrible and harmful.
That’s misogyny!
They aren’t even being subtle here with the ‘poor women don’t know what’s best for them’ patronizing bullshit, either.
This is just “women shouldn’t be allowed to read books it will only upset them” in a new hat for the 21st century.
Pro tip - if something is primarily popular among women wait about 18 months and then the op eds will start rolling in about how it’s terrible and people (read: women) are just hurting themselves by reading/watching/listening to it.
If you, personally, don’t like true crime or know that it’s bad for you then deal with that yourself. The vast majority of people interested in true crime don’t need your pearl clutching “concern”.
The author of this article is a woman who survived a violent crime and wishes people would stop fetishizing these things or making them a lurid spectacle. Interesting how your response carefully avoids mentioning any of that and even referring to the author only as “they,” as though you either didn’t read the article or you hope others will just read your response and agree with you without ever reading the link. If there’s misogyny here it’s the fact that the majority of true crime focuses on victimized women, reduced their suffering and their death to a fucking “fandom.” It is not predominantly men who are disgusted by this. Nearly all criticisms I’ve seen of the “genre” are from women. You’re trying to use the concept of misogyny to shame people into respecting your real workd torture porn, is what you’re doing.
It’s called internalized misogyny. It’s also the same disrespect and condescension people, not just women, have faced since time immemorial because they are interested in the darker side of life. True crime has been a “genre” since news has been able to be disseminated reliably to large groups of people at once. i.e. newspapers, magazines, penny dreadfuls.
The people who have tended the dead have always been looked down upon. The people who have been intrigued by the grotesque have always been looked down upon. Horror, crime, death, fear, darkness, all of its has always been shunned and decried as foul and wrong and disrespectful. But you know what it really is? To quote Wes Craven, “horror is a boot camp for the psyche.”
Some of us are deep into this because we already have fears and traumas and we want to know what happened so we can plot out as many scenarios as possible. You know why? Preparedness saves lives. Facing your fear keeps it from overtaking your mind. The woman who wrote this article is entitled to her opinion, but she’s rehashing the same garbage that’s been spewed about people who face and deal with death since Indian society created the Dalit class because such things are “untouchable” aka unclean, less than.
This kind of bullshit angers me so much. We don’t tell people to not look at something or that they’re less than for liking that’s bright and happy. Go and do that if it makes you happy. But don’t you dare turn around and claim that this is “rotting our brains” because it’s not. And especially don’t level that criticism at women who are interested in this. This writer’s personal bias is all over this article and it sucks that she was stabbed but the past will ALWAYS be discussed in tones that are far too cheerful and removed from the actual events. You know why? WE WERENT THERE. That’s why. We do not have the same in the moment feelings but we do have empathy. We do have understanding and that’s what we want to do. Understand what happened here.
And I’m going to end my rant here with a recommended object lesson in the problem this woman clearly has with people who are interested in true crime: Ho and watch the first two installments of the new Halloween trilogy. The second movie, Halloween Kills, one of the main problems Haddonfield currently faces is that it’s generations removed. The people who were there are still angry and terrified but everyone else has moved on and regard that behavior as crazy. Go and watch this woman’s opinion in action on the big screen. And support the much maligned horror genre while you’re at it.
A podcaster describing a stranger’s rape and dismemberment for clickbait money isn’t a poor misunderstood tender of the dead what the fuck
Nobody’s even saying you’re a bad person if you find it interesting but if you can’t admit that it might be disrespectful to the victims and families or go too far or saturate our current culture too much I think you need to take a step back. Already you’re acting like real murder and fictional murder are interchangeable here and that’s literally the kind of thing folks are referring to as brain rot. You’re willfully demonstrating that your love of true crime media has eroded your distinction between real and fantasy at least in select conversations and thats the very thing critics are afraid if when they blast that “dark” fiction in the first place. I thought our whole defense was always that we knew the difference between fantasy and reality and would never treat the two the same because that would, in fact, be fucked up.
I came close to having his reactionary "fuck you" response to calling true crime = torture porn but I know that's not fair. I think there are points to be made on both sides here, but I wanted to comment on the victims/their families perspective.
I am the family member of an unsolved murder victim. Their case is cold and messaging the RCMP for updates never seems to get me anywhere other than frustrated at their condescending attitudes. Twenty-two years later and I am still waiting on closure. I have absolutely been angered and hurt by some far-removed 'journalist' and their shitty take on a dead teenager whose death was briefly sensationalized for newspaper fodder. I remember being eleven and pelting snowballs at some tv reporter trying to report on my friend getting injured because I remembered the awful tone in which they spoke about my loved one when they died. Careless journalism can continue to harm victim's families. People need to remember these are real people with loved ones who never stopped grieving.
That being said I do consume a lot of true crime media. Specifically, I only ever seek out media on solved cases in which someone is brought to justice. I can't deal with listening to breakdowns of unsolved murders. But hearing about cases where killers are brought to justice sometimes decade's later brings me hope for my own family. Like I know those cases have no impact on my loved ones... but if it happened for them why not us?
lol the two guys in the middle are seth mcfarlane and butch hartman posing together as part of the original Johnny Bravo writing staff how cursed is everything about this image
we should be collectively shunning men who waste money on childish pharaphernalia like action figures and anime toys and similar shit like if you are spending upwards of 50-100$ at a time on shelf decorations or artwork there is something wrong with your brain
I don’t require men as an ATM. I’m just not looking for some nihilistic atheist man who fills his God-sized hole with Star Wars Funko pops, you pick me bitches.
Now, see, I spend barely any real money on stuff like this myself and I really don’t “get” people’s obsession with amassing things like Funko Pops, but toys and art actually do reliably accrue in value almost immediately. Almost every single plastic ninja turtle and goku is worth 50%-1000% more money as soon as it ceases actual production and is very easy to resell; you can go on ebay right now and see that any toy they stopped making in 2020 sells for twice as much or more here in 2021 and that value never really goes back down, I have things given to me as gifts when they were $10 that are now worth up to $100 and they aren’t even very old!
There’s people who will absolutely never part with their collectibles and want to take them to the grave but then there’s people who have cashed in a collection of Transformers to buy a car or pay for surgery. If you still have money left over at the end of the week to pay your bills and eat right then those kitschy, geeky, childish things are at least a wiser investment than a drinking habit, lotto tickets, or things that exclusively depreciate in value like designer clothes or tech gadgets.
Not to mention, these pursuits once considered geeky and juvenile are now so mainstream - with men and women of all ages - that if anything you’re kind of the odd one out if you have NO collectibles, no favorite board games, nothing at all to say when your coworkers start to chat about comics or anime. Nobody should feel bad about what they find fun or interesting! If it hasn’t become an addiction that actually harms them or the people they love, personal interests should always be encouraged! :)
Oh but yeah I guess a bigger issue here is that both OP and Pumpkinprincess are people who think baby-eating liberals invented vaccines. UPDATE actually all four people above me are like that wtf is tumblr
I would love to meet a guy who shared my interest in collectibles. Why assume this is a male-only hobby? I never meet these guys IRL. It's the people that want to nag me for it that I don't want to associate with.
If I'm paying my bills and hurting nobody why can't folks mind their business?
how do all the victims in these 80s slasher movies have such big houses like how many rooms do you need for just a family that consists of one or two parents and one teenager you are living in mansions no wonder theres murder killers targeting you
Technically it was Star Wars: A New Hope, but I was like a week old so I don't think that counts. The first thing I remember watching in the theaters was Cinderella. My sister got out of her chair and started yelling "that's not fair" at the screen when the stepsisters tore Cinderella's dress off.
I have a pretty distinct memory of sitting in the back of my parents’ station wagon eating Planter’s cheese balls and watching Star Wars at the drive-in.
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