You know, sometimes it's just SO easy to pretend like someone you are not. Like- you just create this version of yourself that you THINK is appealing to others, and for a while, you actually enjoy being that new, improved, 2.0 version of yourself- cause, why not?
But then it hits you- this isn't you. And you should not give a flying fuck about what others might think of the real version of yourself because, individuality is a quality which belongs solely to oneself and one must own it- no matter what.
Easier said than done, i know.
Because I've been there, done that.
The internet is an interesting place where you meet all kinds of people and... bots.
I'm just sharing this as a personal experience/growth- if you can relate, well, you have my empathy.
No- i didn't get catfished. (Sorry to disappoint the ones looking for said story)
But, I did lose my sense of identity for a while (not in a disorder kind of way but in a more emotional/personal kind of way). I lose it once in a while even now, but I'm glad to always find my way back. There are many reasons because of which I tend to or rather, prefer the other better, glowing, etc, etc, version of me- simply cause she's soooo much better than lil ol' me. Cause she's EVERYTHING that I desire to be.
One could say, that i should work towards becoming that glorified version of myself- and i won't say that you're wrong, it's just that, it's hard. It really is- because REALITY IS SO DIFFERENT. People don't have the same luxuries they do when they are on virtual platforms- pretending to be radiant and full of life. (You could fight me on this one but tbh just save it. I'm not looking for an argument, this is my pov and you're free to stop reading)
That's where the internet comes into the picture. A virtual platform, the freedom to create yourself from scratch. Oh! How lovely, isn't it?
I guess, what I mean to say is that, being comfortable with yourself and your flaws and everything is a huge deal. Escaping from it may seem like a great offer- which the internet provides, but it is NOT a permanent solution.
I'm trying to come to terms with it. Hopefully i will- at some point.
Well, I'm grateful that it gave me a small little corner to rant my heart out. There's literally SO much to say, and i tend to go off-topic pretty quickly so imma end this right here.
Thanks for bearing with me :)
P.S. i just might regret posting this.
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