"Mares and Maidens"

"My two greatest passions in life."

[revolutionarykoolaid]

Never Forget the Reign of Terror waged against Muslims in the nearly two decades following 9/11.

[mintykiwi]

[argumate]

this is the kind of prank we need more of.

[tsukishima-tadashi]

[toastbutteregg]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

reminder that indoor cats should have their claws trimmed not amputated

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

declawing requires removing a piece of your cat's toes, the same way you would have to amputate your fingertips to permanently get rid of the nails. this causes longterm pain & health issues.

trimming your cat's nails can be done easily at home, with great results! your local vet or groomer can also do it for just a few bucks (or can teach you how)

my foster kitten just had hers trimmed for the first time; she did great!

trim, don't declaw

[sixpenceee]

Putting a whale’s true size into perspective        

Source                 

[quickjaw]

😍 damn

[hitmewithcute]

Let him wander around the house. Thought I lost him but he was next to the potatoes

[ex0skeletal-undead]

I also keep my potatoes in a pile on the floor which I think is normal and fine

[theradioghost]

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

[ritavonbees]

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

[marisatomay]

please do not forget your smash mouth

[beca-mitchell]

Pitch Perfect (2012) → Beca and Chloe

[marinebiologyshitposts]

clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

[0rdi-deactivated20211118]

This post would’ve been a lot better if you didn’t say the f word. Grow up.

[marinebiologyshitposts]

yes hello i am very sorry to hear of your lack of satisfaction. if you'll just follow me to the suggestion box its just inside here

[0rdi-deactivated20211118]

As you wish. :)

[marinebiologyshitposts]

[marinebiologyshitposts]

[justvetschoolthings]

When clients don’t understand what clinic anxiety is:

[serfuzzypushover]

Trying

[warplanerubdown]

[drtanner]

I love this video so much. This cat, trying so hard to sip like a people. Desperate to sip like a people. Objectively incapable of sipping like a people.

[susiephone]

no offense, but the scene depicting tai lung’s escape from a maximum security prison in kung-fu panda (2008) is more dramatic and exciting, and has better pacing and cinematography than 90% of fight scenes in any superhero movie

[aq2003]

[omghotmemes]

Ths bishop’s twitter post

[enaroholmes]

I experienced a few embarrassing seconds of confusion because in my language (French) the bishop is called the fool

[jellyfish-neo]

[iguanamouth]

What's your favorite thing someone else drew?

definitely this

[gfwayu]

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

[truestoriesaboutme]

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

[truestoriesaboutme]

This is going around again, so I should say, I was wrong when I wrote this.

Actually, I know the girl who set them and she’s full of shit

[bisexualshakespeare]

Congrats on the gender. Get well soon with the executive dysfunction

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

[anachronistic-cat]

… can i use that phrase irl?

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

[the-argumentative-viper]

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

[nuttersincorporated]

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

[fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan]

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

[bardbreakfast]

Reading these is like literary whiplash

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

This whole post is gold, but the comment about the vampire’s dialect “devolving” into older and older periods when he’s angry stood out to me.

It’s a cinematic cliché for a person of any foreign nationality to revert to their native language when angry (I usually see it with Spanish-speaking characters), and my southern accent deepens as I get angrier.

It makes sense that an immortal character who saw the eras of his language change and evolve over time would speak more and more archaically as he got angrier.

[datasoong47]

Historical linguists decide to get especially ancient vampires pissed off in order to study ancient languages

[esoanem]

are you telling me that if I get a 5000yo vampire angry enough I can directly test the glottalic theory?

[vigilantsycamore]

*Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

[theconcealedweapon]