graverobber barty x buried alive evan
alright, yeah, fine, whatever. barty does know, in theory, that grave robbing is immoral and wrong and disrespectful to the dead or whatever, but hey—when you’re a broke uni student who just recently disowned your crazy dad (who also happened to be crazy rich and is now no longer going to pay for your life) and can no longer make ends meet with a crappy barely-even-minimum-wage job, you sometimes have to take desperate measures, okay?
so what if barty (because bartemius is a disgusting old name for disgusting old prats and he refuses to use it, thank you very much) is spending his saturday night rifling through a graveyard? it’s no one’s business, least of all yours. all the jewelry and whatever that stuffy british people like to bury their relatives with sells for a lot on eBay, and he gets to see skeletons and things for free. barty gets to keep his flat and not have to go crawling back to his dad. the dead people seem chill with the arrangement. everyone’s winning, okay?
when he saw a fresh grave, okay, fine, maybe he got a little greedy. respect and whatever. but barty hasn’t ever really been all that respectful, and his stupid old landlord raised his rent again. so he starts digging.
the very last thing he expected to find was a very alive (and very, insanely, ridiculously handsome) boy stuffed into the coffin he just cracked open.
pale and beaten up and breathing shallowly, but alive nonetheless. (and also most definitely very, very attractive, even covered in dirt.)
barty might not be making any money off of this grave, but he isn’t that concerned about his rent anymore. he has a feeling that this boy will end up being more interesting than skeletons anyway.
oh this is amazing! i love headcanons that make me consider something i would've never thought about before and go 'yes. thats good.'
(also if anyone knows a fic like that pls pls comment it i will love you)
