Trust me, I was there.

I accept submissions and questions.

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Ozpin: You're fired.

Qrow: *hands in gun-scythe and badge*

Ozpin: You're a teacher. Where did you get those?

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"The world better start showing me some respect or I'm gonna stop saving it every other week."

Yang, at some point

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Ruby: Tyrian! How did you know I was here?

Tyrian: Wouldn't you like to know?

Ruby: Yes, that's why I asked.

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Hazel: Nobody has to die today.

Cardin: *bullies Velvet*

Coco: *takes off sunglasses* I disagree.

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“Hello, my name is Qrow Branwen. This is my partner, Anti-Hollow Bones”

-Qrow Branwen

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Yang: Do you wanna hear a joke?

Blake: No.

Yang: Yes, you do. Okay here it goes-

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Weiss, pointing to a high shelf: Can you get that for me?

Jaune: You need me in your life after all.

Weiss: I could replace you with a step ladder.

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Emerald: I don't want to place blame here, but basically...

Emerald: I was responsible for everything that went right, and Mercury was responsible for everything that went wrong.

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Weiss: Stopping terrorists is not a sport, Yang!

Yang: It is if you're good at it.

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Nora: There's only three way to do things; the right way, the wrong way, and the Nora way.

Jaune: Isn't that the wrong way?

Nora: Yeah, but it's faster.

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Thank you all so much for 250 followers, despite my ass not being consistent. I hope this New Year, I can make tons of laughs for everyone! Love -Mod Ruby

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Sun, texting: Hey. What'cha doin'?

Blake: Just lying in bed.

Sun: Just lying in bed?

Blake: I'm eating some tuna.

Sun: What would you do if I was there?

Blake: Eat my tuna?

Sun: What if you didn't have tuna?

Blake: I'd go get some tuna!

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Pyhrra: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Jaune: Wow. They sound stupid.

Pyhrra: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.

Jaune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"

Pyhrra: I guess you're right. Hey Jaune, I love you.

Jaune: See! Just say that!

Pyhrra: Holy fucking shit.

Jaune: If that flies over their then, sorry Pyhrra, but their too dumb for you.

Pyhrra: Dude.

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Nora: Trying to find a needle in a haystack isn't hard at all. Like, what the fuck, all you have to do is burn the fucking hay.

Ruby: You are the future.

Weiss: Find the hay in the needlestack, though.

Ren: Big magnet.

Blake: If we survive this fucking school, we're going to do great things.

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Qrow: The ability to fly requires hallow bones

Qrow: Which also means I could kick an angel's ass

Taiyang: You could also kick a bird's ass but you're not doing that. Why?

Qrow: A group of crows is called a murder. I'm not fucking with that.

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Nora: I like your outfit, Ren!

Ren: Thanks. It was 50% off.

Nora: I'd prefer if it was 100% off ;)

Ren: Why would the store just give clothes away for free?

Nora: No I meant-

Ren: That's a terrible way to run a business, Nora.

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"They pay me enough to either be helpful or heterosexual. If they want both, I'm gonna need one hell of a raise."

Qrow Branwen