Danced With The Wind

Kat, 30s, Germany

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Remember that post that's like "BDSM torture where I tie you up and force you to accept an earnest compliment about yourself"? Yeah, that's Shane with his truth pact at the cottage.

Mr. Earnest is blurting out every achingly tender thought he's ever had about Ilya but never been able to say. He's gripping Ilya's curls while they lazily make out and he's saying "God, I love your hair" and Ilya's smirking, still all swaggering confidence and being all "Mmmh yess I'm very sexy, we know this" but Shane starts picking up steam. They're lounging on the bed basking naked in the late afternoon sunlight and Shane's dragging his fingertips down Ilya's spine and saying "I love the way your back arches, right here" and he's laying soft butterfly kisses on every single one of Ilya's moles and he's murmuring "I love your beauty marks" and he's cupping Ilya's face and he's sweeping both thumbs across Ilya's cheeks and he's saying "Your eyes are so beautiful. And your eyelashes, fuck" and on and on and on: I love your shoulders, they're so fucking sexy I love the hair down from your navel I love your knuckle bones I love the way you smell I love the way you taste I love the arches of your feet I love the pale backs of your knees and with each earnest confession Ilya's smirking assuredness starts fading until he's left blinking and blushing and squirming until he's bursting up and desperately smothering Shane, covering his mouth and face with both hands because "ENOUGH enough oh my god Hollander you're trying to kill me!!"

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

I think I love this headcanon because Shane is actually pretty reticent with straight up compliments, unintentionally. Obviously, it's a product of him Repressing™ and downplaying just how much Ilya means to him during their situationship era, but then that just accidentally sticks. So when Shane looks at Ilya one day while he's sprawled out on the couch in that black tank that makes his arms look insane and his hair is just starting to dry from the shower, he just stops in his tracks and stares. And eventually Ilya notices and glances up like What? And Shane just shakes his head and goes "Nothing, nothing it's just... You're really handsome." And it feels a little silly to say it that bluntly, but it's the truth. And suddenly Ilya gets all pink cheeked and wide eyed and now it's Shane's turn to go "What?" And Ilya shrugs, playing at noncommittal because "You have not said this before, really." And Shane stares at him blankly because "Surely I have." And Ilya kind of shrugs again but - but no, no surely not because - "I think it all the time. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw you in person." And now Shane is genuinely flabbergasted, searching back in his memory because surely this has come up before, surely Shane let it slip at least once even when he was desperate not to let on just how much of an effect Ilya had on him. And when Shane twigs that no, actually, he's somehow kept a lid on just how blisteringly attractive he finds his boyfriend, suddenly all bets are off. He is blurting out every compliment that crosses his mind. He becomes the compliment MACHINE. And it always leaves Ilya a little flustered and squirmy and quietly delighted.

[mxtxnet]

Happy Hanguang-June

[fourseasonsblossoms]

[ravmycupine]

The more things change, the more things stay the same....

[knownqueerbaiter]

incomplete list of shane hollander’s most jock-ish sexual fantasies he and ilya have completed (with the help of heavy bribes to arena staff):

•ilya fucking him in the locker room (strictest version of this fantasy is getting passed around the locker room but in reality it’s just them)

•hazing roleplay where ilya shoves shane’s face into his sweaty jockstrap

•blowing ilya in the penalty box

•captain ilya “coaching” rookie shane roleplay

•sitting on ilya’s dick while reviewing game tape and having to give game analysis while ilya toys with him

•cockwarming ilya with his mouth while ilya is playing COD with the boys

•season-long orgasm-per-goal rule (shane-only. he has to earn it)

[hollandar]

shane waiting to be kissed

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

If we're talking asks that may have been eaten by tumblr I'm resending this one cuz I think you'd like it; I originally thought of this for once Shane joins the Centaurs and Ilya is Captain and they're sharing rooms on the road, but it could also fit with a rookie/captain AU:

Ilya doing gameplanning or whatever in their room and Shane getting so turned on by Ilya casually demonstrating high-level hockey competence that he needs him now, but Ilya really does need to get this done so naturally it goes to cockwarming

Either Shane bent over, Ilya's notebook/clipboard whatever on his back as he holds still to not mess up what Ilya's writing and maybe gives his own commentary/opinion when Ilya asks

Or Shane on his knees, still needing to be so stil as Ilya balances whatever he's writing on on Shane's head and it turns out that having Ilya down his throat while Ilya is talking hockey (and maybe a little bit the objectification and service of it all) sends Shane to another plane of existence mentally in the best way

It is sick and twisted that you sent this ask to me before and Tumblr kept it from me,,, this is SO real and true to #myhollanov, like I genuinely believe this happened. Cockwarming AND Shane's hockey/competency kink with that little sprinkling of degradation if Ilya chooses the 'ignore/act dismissive' route added on top? PLUS HUMAN FURNITURE⁉️⁉️⁉️ Oh yeah,,, that's the good stuff 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[fuckrozanov]

i actually don’t think i was alive until i watched ilya mouth ‘more’ at shane from across that gym floor

[comingatthecottage]

#ILYA BEING ABLE TO FINALLY ASK SOMEONE ELSE FOR MORE……… more ilya more more more . Omg

^^excellent tags from prev

[naturalpr3y]

wait what the hell why would u leave this in the tags . Their power dynamic is directly inverting ilyas abuse at the hands of his family like …..😭 SO GOOD

[delsicle]

Everyone has their corny fic trope they will never not love, and for me it’s mafia/organized crime AUs. So, consider. 

A summer night in Manitoba. Shane fighting sleep from the driver’s seat of his patrol car, four hours left on his shift. 

Nights like this are dangerous because they allow his mind to wander back to a time when he wasn’t always a small-town cop, writing parking tickets and getting the short end of the stick with his patrol times. In another lifetime he was one of the youngest members of the RCMP, back before the lifetime blacklist and demotion down to the lowest possible rung of police work with no hope of ever rising up again. 

A car zips by, the first in hours. Barely anyone drives on this back-end, one-way road this late, not even teenagers looking for trouble. Shane ignores half the cars that pass through, but this one has a trifecta of infractions: no plates, double the speed limit, dead right tail light. 

Shane sighs and turns on the flashing lights, pulling away from his patrol spot on the shoulder. The car pulls over immediately, obediently. Shane is relieved; the last thing he wants to do at 3 in the morning is start a pursuit. 

He gets out of his car, flashlight in one hand, wanders over to the driver’s side door prepared to see a stoned teenager or a night shift construction worker woozy from lack of sleep. 

Instead, Shane freezes, his fingers going so limp he nearly drops his flashlight. 

The man sitting in the driver’s seat should not be here. He should be miles away, at his home base in Montreal, not driving a piece of shit beater in the middle of nowhere. 

And Shane should not be here with him, because as far as Ilya Rozanov knows, Shane Hollander’s body burned up in a car fire four years ago.

Ilya blinks at Shane, narrowing his eyes. It’s dark, even with the flashing light spilling behind them and the tiny light in Shane’s hand. If he gets through this quickly, maybe Ilya won’t even get a good look at his face.

“Can I help you, Officer?” Ilya asks, tapping the steering wheel once, twice, with his pointer finger. Hearing his voice sends twin lines of heat and ice down Shane’s spine. 

“Sorry, ah,” Shane clears his throat. “You have…you were going a little fast.” 

“I am not from around here.”

“Right, well, just don’t do it again,” Shane says. “Um, and get that tail light fixed. Have a good night.” 

He turns on his heel, forcing his legs to move fast despite the fact they feel wobbly. He just needs to get to his car and it’ll be fine. 

He hears the door of the other car open behind him, heavy boots settling on the ground.  

“Officer,” Ilya calls behind him. 

He keeps walking, but the feet behind him are walking, too, faster. 

Shane makes it to the squad car, grabs the door handle like a lifeline, but before he can get it open, a heavy body is pinning him down.

“Too slow,” Ilya says behind him, pulling his hand away from the door handle so he could hold Shane’s arms behind his back.

“Sir,” Shane whispers. Tears prick at his eyes, the animal fear rising in his body. “Please just…go back to your car.”

“But I wanted to tell you something, Officer,” Ilya says. “It’s very funny. Do you want to hear it?” 

Shane hears Ilya unclip something from his belt, feels cool metal press into his side. Ilya leans in so close he can feel his breath along the shell of his ear. 

 “You look just like my dead husband.” 

Shane’s body goes limp, the memories rushing back to him at once. 

He used to be very, very good at his job. So good he was once entrusted to lead an undercover sting of one of the country’s most deeply rooted bratva families. He was meant to find all he could on the family’s young and newly minted pakhan, find a weakness in the newly shaken power structure. He had succeeded more than anyone could imagine, including himself. 

But he was not meant to get attached. And in that aspect he had failed horribly.

Ilya’s lips press to his neck, over his jumping pulse point. 

“Did you think I would not find you, Зайчик?” 

Shane has not heard that name in four years, and it undoes him. 

“Ilya,” he whispers, the less scrap of self preservation leaving his body. “Please.” 

He doesn’t know what he’s even asking for. To not die? To die quickly and painlessly? 

Ilya tugs on his arm. It’s pathetic, really, the way Shane peels away easily from the car and collapses into Ilya’s waiting body. The barrel of the gun is still stuck between his ribs, but he knows he would move even without it.

“Come on,” Ilya says, nodding towards the beater. Shane can see now how obvious this whole thing was, a series of petty traffic infractions laid out of him like he’s a rat in a trap. A bunny hopping blindly to the wolves. 

“At least tell me where you’re taking me,” Shane says. He doesn’t know where he finds the strength to say it, to make any request at all. Ilya looks at him like Shane has asked the color of the sky. 

“You do not know?” he asks. “I am taking you home.”

…or something like that, you know?

[hockeyfinches]

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

[hockeyfinches]

top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

• fuck or die

[lutheban]

Rocky, once again, being baffled and STRESSED about human biology and the things his human does to keep healthy i dont think mr "my whole crew died of radiation sickness" likes the fact that his alien and most things on his planet needs it for survival very much xD previous

[lutheban]

Grace goes swimming! Rocky is not thrilled.

Eridians cant "hold their breath" like humans do, their vents dont close completly so water can still get in, if they fall in water they drown and die. safe to say rocky is not a fan of when grace does it for fun xD

(i got the inspo for this from this fic: Enrichment by alatarmaia4, please check it out it is so funny)

More art of Rocky Stressing™️ about human biology

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

If you’re up for it, can us freaks over here at Pervert United hear about your favorite hollanov role play concepts? Especially the bully ones I’m shaking just thinking those words

Anon, you just made my day.

Of course there's the whole bully/victim RP. I know Shane's been watching lockerroom gangbang porn since he figured out how to jerk off (or at least he fantasizes very vividly about it if we're abiding by my 'Shane doesn't watch porn because it freaks him out' headcanon). And Ilya and Shane's first explicitly sexual encounter being in the showers literally rearranged the order of Shane's universe. I KNOW they're doing a redo of that scenario except this time Ilya gets a lot nastier when he 'catches' Shane looking,,, there is a CRIMINAL lack of consensual non-con in the hollanov tag, that's all I'm saying.

I'm also a sucker for coach/player RP. SUE ME!!!! You think these boys DIDN'T develop a psychosexual complex around the approval of authority figures in the homosocial environment of team sports? Don't even joke, lad.

On a similar note: captain/rookie rp. Like,,, does this one even need an explanation? Thank god hockey has so many formal terms of address for these boys to get their rocks off to.

And of COURSE they're doing puck bunny rp. Of COURSE. "Oh, Mr. Rozanov, I'm your biggest fan~ I've been following your career since juniors~ would you sign my jersey, please?" Yeah, it would make them go NUTS. And the roles can be reversed for this one, too!! Tell me Shane wouldn't cream his pants hearing Ilya call him "the best player in the league." You can't!!

I also like,,, I don't even know how to explain this one. Stranger infidelity rp? Like, Ilya swaggers up to Shane at a bar (this bar can be metaphorical, they could be doing this shit in their kitchen) and hits on him like they don't know each other just so Shane can go "Sorry, I have a boyfriend~" and then the game is Ilya has to tempt Shane away from his so-called "boyfriend." This one is mostly an excuse post-episode 6 for Shane to say "my BOYFRIEND" a lot. Also gives Ilya an opportunity to act out his fuck boy era, which I KNOW Shane finds embarrassingly sexy.

Also hell yeah they're doing virginity rp. They are forever chasing the high that was Ilya ACTUALLY taking Shane's anal virginity. But this is less a RP and more like, a lifestyle kink they incorporate into everything lmao. "Will it fit? 😳😣" -> said about the dick that Shane has basically transformed his hole to the exact measurements of.

FEMINISATION AND BREEDING KINK, IN ALL ITS FORMS!!!! "Oh no, the condom broke, we have to be carefullll~" / "Okay, you can fuck me raw but just the tip, okay? Promise? Because we have to be Careful,,," / Baby Trap roleplay (this one I headcanon originated during one of Shane's lowest points in the situationship era where, in a fit of madness, he thought: "if Ilya knocked me up, then he'd HAVE to look after me" and then he almost died of mortification) / just straight up "let's try for a baby" rp. This one I blame on the baby fever Shane would mostly definitely be feeling watching Ilya be so good with Hayden's kids (RIP Hayden I know you'd be horrified to play any part in this).

oHh!! Re: Ilya's glasses kink, every time Shane puts them on, Ilya is starting up some hot for teacher rp IMMEDIATELY. He's playing the bro-y jock student who's flunking Shane's class and is trying to get into Shane's pants to improve his grade. Yum!

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but if inspiration strikes and you think of more RP ideas for these two, do not hesitate to pop them in my inbox. There is nothing too crazy for me that I won't be able to imagine for these two, and I do mean that seriously.

[ilya-rozanova]

shane rage baiting the rage baiter

[ily-a]

HEATED RIVALRY (2025-)

[shaneposting]

[taps microphone] thank you. imagine, if you will, hollanov cnc hazing roleplay in the centaurs dressing room,

[zookie-art]

I genuinely can't stop thinking about these two. Help

(Prints in bio if anyone wants!)