Umbrella Regret

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[rumplefuckingstiltzkin]

POV: You are Simba

[drtanner]

Love it when you can see the impending disaster before it hits, lol.

[ceekari]

you know the camera is going down, so you’re just guessing which dog it’s gonna be

until suddenly you know

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sea travel before modern engines was like yeah we should be there in about a week or two months depending on the weather

[what-even-is-thiss]

You could cross the entire Mediterranean Sea in like a week. Or you could be stuck in one place for half a year. Or you could get eaten by the ocean during a particularly inconvenient storm.

[what-even-is-thiss]

A person can walk at like 3 miles an hour and a horse can walk at like 4 miles an hour. Humans and horses need to sleep and eat however.

A ship can move at 5 to 10 miles an hour and potentially sail on through the night under the right circumstances.

Under the right circumstances though. Humans and horses are easier to reliably keep moving through a period of slightly less wind than normal.

[willowplantcat]

some guy got stuck in the Mediterranean for 10 years they made a book bout him snd everything

[what-even-is-thiss]

To be fair to Odysseus he spent a good chunk of that time being kidnapped

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Nobody Answered

Well ain't that a poke in the eye.

[knitmeapony]

I love seeing a meme and being like oh, tumblrs going to love this one

[i-preen-for-oikawa]

Peer reviewed tags.

Reblog today and you, too, can maliciously comply with facts of science.

[shamebats]

[qrfit]

🤭🤭🤭🤭

[prokopetz]

Concept: a D&D adventure where the party stops to rest at a village inn where they seem to be the only guests. The village appears prosperous and well taken care of, but its inhabitants are strangely morose and blunt-spoken. Whether the party decides to investigate or attempts to move on, it quickly becomes apparent that something is terribly wrong: any effort to initiate violence or utter untruth fails as the offender is wracked with terrible pain, unkind words stick in the throat unspoken – and worst of all, anyone who attempts to leave the village becomes confused and finds themselves coming back the way they came. When (politely) questioned, the villagers will say only that the party must speak to the wizard whose tower lies to the east.

Upon reaching the wizard’s tower, the party is met by a slender, youthful-looking man with an unnaturally deep voice, who greets them with distracted courtesy, and – after making brief introductions – reveals that he knows why the party is there, and that it’s indeed all his fault. Thirty years ago, the wizard attempted to cast a blessing of peace and prosperity over the village, but the spell went awry: the enchantment proved to be much more powerful and long-lasting than intended, and its notion of what constitutes a breach of the peace far more expansive. Not only does it prohibit physical violence, but also insults, lies both overt and of omission, and simple failures of courtesy. Even leaving the village seems to be construed as an act of abandonment, and therefore of emotional violence.

Luckily, the wizard believes he’s discovered why the enchantment has become a curse. Though it was intended to ensure that people would be kind to one another, it ironically rendered its own fulfillment impossible, as the villagers began to treat each other well out of fear of reprisal rather than true good will. A sufficiently great act of genuine kindness, unalloyed by self-interest, would shatter the enchantment in an instant – but how can such a thing be brought about, in a place where all have been made strangers to love?

[cikero]

I’m so mad that a t4 bacteriophage actually looks like that and that it’s appearance isn’t made up

[cikero]

this is how they look in all the models

this is how they actually look

like they really fucking look like that. in real life

[somniiloquy]

viruses are literally such bullshit they have the nerve to look like this and they aren’t even ALIVE

[nuggettiana]

I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE SHITTY AND ARBITRARY DEFINITION OF LIFE THAT MAKES VIRUSES NOT ALIVE. FUCK YOU THEY ARE ALIVE

[petzah394-deactivated20250503]

Things are heating up in the virus fandom

[archaicfirehydrants]

thats called a fever

[feluka]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[dogpuppy]

[stealingpotatoes]

i hauve a cold

[stealingpotatoes]

[stealingpotatoes]

[kalofi]

i tried the “ask your mom what she would do if you were a bug” trend

[kalofi]

asked my dad too

[cute-catts]

Car accents 🐈😺

[blabbernaculum]

So many different dialects

[brightlotusmoon]

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

masks and helmets that hides someone's face in such a way that they become the face themselves my beloved

these are all creatures to me

[ancient-debris]

Angel of War, angular and strange, gleaming silver and gold, Angel of Wonder, pure and one-eyed, looking to stars new and old, Angel of Harvest, simple and hidden, bring nature's sweetness to all, Angel of Health, mysterious and fine, beacon when life starts to fall, Angel of the Deep, crooked and cage-like, guide us across the sea, Angel of Solace, protect us from evil, lead us to where we are free.

[omnybus]

Was inspired by the previous post a while back, and had been working on this on and off for a long while.

You can see the full-resolution versions on My Patreon.

[captain-acab]

I love all of these. The angel of the the deep's wings are canvas, held up by an anchor. The angel of war's wings are blades, and its shield is a coffin. The angel of solace is a mutant, its arms deforming into wings. Geiger counter in hand, it guides us through the danger only it knows. Was this angel once a man? Corrupted now beyond hope, he can at least save others from the same fate.

[youve-got-a-roman]

this shit is so incredibly cool that i cannot and refuse to attempt to properly articulate it

[girljeremystrong]

PLEASE watch this. i love chaotic sisters best dynamic in the world

[anais-ninja-bitch]

1. this should be required viewing for anyone writing young girls, especially sisters

2. she did a good job and totally saved their asses.

[rozecrest]

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

[mrsmarlasinger]

[viewtiful-kim-deactivated202105]

Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube

[animatedamerican]

… I am unironically here for this

[oldfilmsflicker]

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

[kabesattic]

This is - legitimately - my favourite delivery of Shakespeare I have EVER seen (and I have seen some good-ass productions yo, in the Globe Theatre itself even). Like seriously, even though the words are unchanged, he’s stripped away ALL of the archaic pretense and assumed grandeur of ~presenting the bard~ that makes even the most wildly talented of actors and innovative of productions inherently inaccessible to a modern audience. Like, they’re still great, they can still communicate the message and (some) of the nuance, but they’re still always a step removed from being identifiable to any viewer’s lived experience. They’re still always reciting 15th century poetry. But this guy? This guy is like, screw iambic pentameter, to hell with being precious about the material, HOW WOULD AN ACTUAL PERSON SAY THIS SHIT?

Like this. And it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to hear a soliloquy I loved so much already, and have it come to life in a way it never, ever, did before. I feel like I grasp his motivations, his twists and turns, no longer on an academic level but on a visceral, instinctive one. Because he’s presenting his mental and emotional journey in a way that speaks honestly, like a real person.

So yeah, this shit post? I love it. Deeply and sincerely.

[luckykittycolor]