hey demons what's up it's me, ya boy @updogs-blog - Tumblr Blog

intro post 👍

dni: basic stuff (no homophobes/transphobes, terfs, racists, etc)

tags: #the classics (this is for stuff that i’ve seen around and am reblogging out of pure respect for its legacy)

#save (stuff i’m saving for later)

#useful (stuff that is useful, for one reason or another)

#updrawings (drawings of mine, don’t expect to see this one too often)

#shut updog (me when i say stuff)

#shut updog #intro postt #sorry if the formatting is weird i did this on an ipad

twocubes

"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

penandinkprincess

my balcony blocks my view of the playground, but I heard one child yell "I FOUND A FROG" with a great deal of excitement and now there is screaming, so I'm filling in some blanks

penandinkprincess

situational update: a little girl screamed "LEAVE HIM ALONE" and now there's noises that sound suspiciously like a child getting wailed on by a wiffle ball bat

penandinkprincess

further update: parent has been called to the scene. distribution of fault is underway. bat appears to have been confiscated.

penandinkprincess

bat has been returned under the promise of not deploying it once more against brothers. the pause and "but tell him to leave the frog alone" tells me it will likely come back into play shortly.

penandinkprincess

as expected, frog was bothered again and frog warrior took up her weapon once more. all children are being collected to leave on charges of acting "like y'all have NO sense"

personally I stand with frog defender on this issue

#justiceforfroggirl

phantomknights

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

asterism343

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

virtualgirladvance

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

egberts

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl

yeag

chaifootsteps

sagacious-sdaughter

"Hey there pepperhead, legal isn't super exited about this tweet"

haaarpb

had a good delivery this week

onecells

YOU🫵'RE 🫵 NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!

GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!

amateur-climber-pro-shitposter

Every year The Internet Archive hosts a competion to make art using newly public domain materials, and I've been losing my mind at this submission:

https://archive.org/details/555-milf-tar/

amateur-climber-pro-shitposter

Every year The Internet Archive hosts a competion to make art using newly public domain materials, and I've been losing my mind at this submission:

https://archive.org/details/555-milf-tar/

#he’s a legal beast

setulose

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

setulose

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

setulose

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

sweetfears

Too funny to leave in comments @inkskinned

cunning-linguistix

Pro tip: when you see a brand new slang term, your first question should be how that term has been used in AAVE for the past 20-30 years.

sometiktoksarevalid

aniseandspearmint

*cry laughing* the little goading 'they made it better!'

That's the comment if someone who knows EXACTLY what button to push with someone else to get, 'i am going to castrate him tonight.' as a flat response.

wuggen

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

wuggen

I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:

Visit Original Link

Pretty normal rush hour sounds, yeah? But this thing sounded something like this:

Visit Original Link

Fucked up! Didn't even realize it was a car horn at first, I didn't know what the fuck it was! It was weird as hell!

fictionvssleep

corviiids

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

lastoneout

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

justcakethanks

It's like they can see into my soul lmaoooooo

dalniente

it is honestly amazing how much of writing and editing is just. logistics. like... do i use a name here or a pronoun? if i move this dialogue tag to the middle of this line and break it in half, does the end of the line hit harder that way? what if i move the tag to the front? what if i remove it entirely? ...wait, whose point of view am i in; can i reasonably say this character is appalled, or must i say they look or seem or sound appalled? is this a deliberate action or a step-removed one; is her hand closing on his shoulder, or is she closing her hand on his shoulder? environment environment environment, we need to break all this dialogue up with some narration, the scene is coming untethered. what! are! they doing! with! the rest of their bodies that are not hands! fuck fuck fuck FUCK i forgot we covered this two chapters ago and now i either need to cut this whole chunk or find a reason to reprise the conversation from earlier. name or pronoun? name or pronoun? name or pronoun? move this clause around in this sentence? oh i'll add this phrase-- nope, never mind, past!me added the same phrase two lines down. okay, if i add too much environmental narration it's going to take away from this bit, but not enough and it won't feel grounded. what if i move this to its own line? where the FUCK are their hands?