a bimbo, a mean bisexual,

put fenris in da4 you cowards 28. she/her. sagittarius.

[kulluto]

every friend group should include a bimbo, a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, she/theys and he/theys, a token straight that’s on thin ice, an astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth chart memorized, and a short king

[chromolume]

myths about sinking britain

“there is no historical precedent for sinking britain!” doggerland, which connected britain to the european mainland, was submerged by water in 6500BC. there is precedent for sinking britain.

“it is unfeasible to sink britain!” britain is strategically located to allow many nations to co-operate in its sinking

“sinking britain would raise sea levels!” the netherlands already has dams

“sinking britain would cause more problems geopolitically than it would solve!” we simply won’t know this until we sink britain

[penandinkprincess]

"Why must we Madonna/whore the vegetables?" is a phrase I just felt super glue itself in my lexicon immediately

[parkchanwoohoo]

Developing a sick fixation on the bagel guy I get breakfast from every Friday on my way to work. I have visited his stall thrice and each time he hears my order, shakes his head, and gives me a slightly different version of my order that tastes better than what I'd originally asked for

[parkchanwoohoo]

Today I asked for a plain lox spread bagel and he gave me an everything bagel with a lox, scallion, and dill spread and it fucks so heavy. Moaning at work rn

[parkchanwoohoo]

No i will not tell you who this is or where. This is MY parasocial relationship with a bagel guy who is doing a kind of customer service dom thing to me. You guys don't get to HAVE him [eyes start glowing as I growl]

[totallynotgayforyou]

[imperfectlibrarian]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

[imperfectlibrarian]

This post is now about a far-right politician and one of the best moments of Brazilian live TV:

[askfordoodles]

appreciating the added context

[amethystsoda]

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Cats don’t actually love you”

A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.

Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.

Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

[gayteensupreme]

war is stupid i think all those army guys should just fuck each other in uniform

[maidthings]

"they took pluto from you" "they took dinosaurs from you" "they took neptune from you" grow a second personality trait and stop getting upset that our understanding of the world has grown since you were in 3rd grade

[yasmin1000000]

They took naptime from you

[demiboydemon]

[corviiids]

btw it is sexy and cool to uplift and admire people who have skills you wish you had without using their ability as a stick to beat yourself with. even and especially if you are jealous of them.

[wetwareproblem]

I just used the line “that’s not an asshole move, it’s a whole asshole ballet” and I’m kinda proud of it so it’s going here where it will get the recognition it deserves.

[tealdearest]

A pas de douche, if you will

[wetwareproblem]

All right, the rest of you can go home, this one wins.

[luisonte]

....but.... why?

[thewisemankey]

To quote Cave Johnson: "Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

[vlanderzine]

I want a knife gun.

[vivcaprica]

For an updated Ides of March

[deceptive-owls]

The Ides of March: Reloaded

brutus is back and this time….. he doesn’t need the whole senate

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[scumfuckus]

[yiffpunk]

[heatseekingbehavior]

[nonbinarybeartrade]

[falconfate]

Yeah, I’d have killed a man for this bedroom as a kid

[uninventedtypeof-autism-creature]

i still would tbh

[morallygreyginger]

sorry i cant hang out tomorrow im celebrating the death of a 2123 year old roman politician with a bunch of psychos on tumblr. yeah its gonna be all day

[angelofdumpsterfires]

it’s almost that time of the year :)

[changelingsrule]

[hearteyes-wheeler]

Stab a politician day!!!!