WaveBirdDash

they/he | TAKE THIS. MY LOVE. MY ANGER. AND ALL OF MY PIZZA. | head writer for Law & Order: Bread Crimes Division (not a real show {yet}) | defund the police and wash your hands of them | vaccines now, vaccines forever

[depsidase]

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[lestatfag]

STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]

[transhuman-priestess]

"It's okay to enjoy happy endings!" My friend that's 99% of mass media. You don't need affirmation, you own the book store.

[transhuman-priestess]

There's a fascinating complex at work here that I do not have the words or knowledge to fully describe, but where people feel this pathological need to justify liking mass-market fiction. You don't need to, everyone likes it. That's why it sells.

But for some reasonm people feel this need to frame themselves as a victimized minority of fiction-enjoyers. I don't get it. Why?

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[fishpondfish]

mymusician... oughh my little bug [remembers parasocial relationships are bad] [remembers infantilization is bad] this complete stranger is their own huge bug

[teethwreath]

god this tickles me

(OP's tiktok here)

[torchedclancy]

being an adult in a fandom is so weird because by day i’m a person and by night i’m in a cult

[pankendev]

the "Turn everyone into rodents now" act, as well as its proponents, have been ratified

[mevil]

[lizholmes]

[annabelle--cane]

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

[clockworkrobotic]

when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist

anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009

[gayvampyr]

i think tumblr ads automatically opening a tab on your phone if you touch them while scrolling should be considered a form of malware

[paranoid-parakeet]

[azspot]

Rob Rogers

[apricops]

can I just say that we all owe Kojima an apology for Metal Gear Solid 2? He looked right into the camera and said “the future of information control will not be censorship, it will be drowning people in trivial noise and misinformation until people partition themselves into their own separate realities” in TWO THOUSAND AND ONE. Three years before Facebook existed. Kojima gave us the biggest Babe-Ruth-pointing-at-the-sky called shot of all time and we weren’t ready for it.

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

metaverse being an 80 billion dollar turbo flop that immediately shut down after one of the worst performances and subsequent total company rebranding in recent history SHOULD, in a kind and just world, have spelled the end for the entire company. but unfortunately we live in hell and "Meta" is still alive

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

same goes for twitter too like that shit should have shut down a month after it became X, The Everything App but these guys just have so much money that 80 billion dollars can be burned with reckless abandon and their companies will survive

[toskarin]

have you seen the lord of the rings movies? the practical effects look great, but there's also an amazing digital serkis