Idk What To Do But It’s Not My Problem

She/They/Xir

[livinces]

THIS Ormund and THIS Gwayne:

[elnotwoods]

shane cockwarming ilya this, shane cockwarming ilya that… this fandom tends to forget that ilya is a throat goat and freaking loves to suck a dick, he swallows cause he “does not mind” (i.e. moans harder when shane cums down his throat than shane himself.. you know - the person cumming)

add to it that ilya loves resting his head in peoples laps, getting his hair played with.. and has an oral fixation

so what i am saying is that ilya loves, loves, LOVES! cockwarming shane - sometimes they just chill on the couch, watching a renovation show or a movie ilya isn’t particularly interested in so while he rests his head in shane’s lap he simply turns around, tugs shane’s sweats down and puts shane’s cock in his mouth

they stay like that for a long time, ilya gets all floaty and sleepy bc shane’s hand is stroking through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp and his cock is in his mouth

when ilya gets antsy again he starts sucking him off and gets him to come quickly, swallowing at the end of course and goes back to cockwarming him if shane wants to continue watching his show

[hr-rep]

Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

[pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250]

can’t stop thinking about this

[cliff-marleaus-left-toe]

I have this headcanon where in an alternative universe Ilya had a moment of insight at the beginning of their hookups so when The Raiders asked where he was going instead of saying he was gonna see Montreal Jane he was like 'I am gonna see my close personal friend Shane Hollander we are gonna eat takeout and play videogames in his house he is my best friend actually.' And the Raiders were like, 'Yeah, right.' But he kept the bit, and every time they were in Montreal, he told the Raiders he was meeting Shane, and the rivalry was just league PR bullshit. They never truly believed him, but it didn't really matter at the time. And When they were eventually at the cottage and Shane told Ilya his plan Ilya was like 'Do not be mad but I have been telling Raiders you are my best friend and every time we play monteral I come to see you to play videogames and eat takeout for years and they never belived me so there is still plusably denibility but if you wanna launch a friendship we dont have to wait or built up I already laid the groundwork.' And Shane is in his head like 'I am gonna marry this man.' So they announce the charity the same summer and the raiders are like 'well shit he was telling the truth.' And since Ilya did lay the groundwork, when the media asks them about Ilya and Shane's 'have been friends the whole time' narrative, the Raiders are like, 'Yeah, he told us they were friends; we just didn't believe him.' Which makes the public opinion on their friendship largely positive but doesn't really change the overall timeline all that much just gives them some room to be publicly affectionate and kind of takes the heat off the fanmail gate bc instead of the public thinking it was an enemies-to-lovers hot sex in hotel rooms 9-year situationship with messy breakups and hookups in between they think it was a slow-burn friends-to-lovers situation filled with yearning and Queer self discovery which is more palatable to the public.

[digihowl]

more ppl need to get hooked on this drug called album in order. not enough people on album in order these days

[byjove]

Cemeteries are not wastes of space. Historical cemeteries ESPECIALLY are not wastes of space. The fact developers are continuously foaming at the mouth to destroy them and put a strip mall up in their place should make you even more determined to help maintain them. In urban areas, they are a haven for wildlife. They are a green space. If you are too afraid of death to utilize them for that purpose, that is on you.

[zooophagous]

Thank you. Historically cemeteries were treated as parks, and it wasn't uncommon to see people not only enjoying the grounds but actually playing games and having picnics there. Somewhere along the line we decided that these activities were inappropriate and that cemeteries were off limits and now people see them as wasted space because they feel too awkward to enjoy them.

They're not only beautiful green spaces but excellent public displays of history and art history, and if you care to look closely you can find out a lot just by studying stones.

For example- notice how few modern headstones are dedicated to young children versus the ones erected before vaccines were widespread.

The cemetery near here has the state's largest silver maple crowning its grounds. Many of the trees in older cemeteries are some of the largest and oldest trees in an area.

Cemeteries are for the living, not the dead. Enjoy them. Go birdwatching in them. Don't be stupid in them sure but don't be too afraid to touch them either.

And for the love of God don't mindlessly support turning them into parking lots and ""luxury"" condos.

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

Y’all need to stop with this “actors can only play characters that match their identity categories down to their astrological sign” shit cause there’s still some straight actors I wanna see take dick

[butimaficwriter]

before dick and kisses

after dick and kisses

from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy

[kaijuerotica]

after dick no kisses

[nightmarist]

A COMINT !!

[hudconuinely]

The first time Ilya fucks Shane so hard he has trouble walking the next day - like legitimately hobbling around the cottage - yes, there’s a bit of pride and possessiveness, but he also worries he went too far. Shane had kept begging for more, more, until Ilya was certain the bed was going to break but now he sees Shane wincing and he worries. So he asks Shane - was it too much, should they have stopped, should they go slower next time? and Shane’s immediately horrified like please don’t threaten to take this away from me omg there’s only a few weeks left of the summer.

(He does however agree to rest on the couch and let Ilya putter around taking care of him which, yes, includes multiple couch blowjobs)

[hudconuinely]

#he’s so mad about it too #he’s a professional athlete in peak physical condition what do you mean he can’t take ‘a little’ pounding? #meanwhile ilya basically ran him over (@observethewalrus)

#shane deciding that their time at the cottage is when ilya can ‘hurt’ him for real #so buzzy #cause on one hand he’s a pain slut #but on the other he’s got three months without getting thrown around on the ice and he misses it #he’s going around the cottage a week in asking ilya to check him #no not like that for real #harder than that ilya come onnnnn (@shanesleftskate)

#let that man wobble Ilya it’s what he wants (@shana-rosee)

amazing stuff in the tags, great work everyone 💯💯

[waldemarstr]

Have we considered that between Ilya Slavanov and Mr. Autism 3000 this is probably how they look to the outside world even when they're as happy as can be 😭

[cupcakesandhags]

okay but for sure baby shane on his first hockey team got to play on the ice during an intermission at a centaurs game in the 90s. he scored a goal and did a cute little celebration jump (and immediately lost his balance and fell on his butt). harris pulls the clip from somewhere deep in the centaurs archive. he makes an insta post after shane's first game with the cens and includes the video with a caption about tonight being shane hollander's second ever centaurs goal.

ilya just barely manages to keep himself from sobbing in delight at the video.

[wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva]

message to all bitches

please survive

[low--battery]

The plot is rich. Deep. Sometimes shirtless.

[mmemarvel]

This haircut on him was LETHAL, they have to bring it back. I’m literally losing it

[jewelcoatfish]

shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake

[toapoet]

These tags are my fave