I'm Bored

But that doesn't mean you have to be! This is really just a conglomeration of stuff that I like/found interesting. Hope you enjoy (but if you don't, that's fine too. I'll just be here, still bored.)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

[cheaphalloweencostume]

did we like, all forget about telling jokes

[cheaphalloweencostume]

its gigglebait. its hehebait

[kurulover]

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

[kurulover]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

[corpseprize]

the reality of being a writer

heres how to fix it

[batzzzzz]

Rool

[citrusmillie]

all tumbrlinas come from a common ancestor

[minotauri]

ocean sounds for those of you who need it

[snakepyre]

thanks i made a little painting about it

[prokopetz]

Stephen King rightly gets a lot of shit for frequently having his characters think and speak in pop culture references that only make sense if you spent your formative years in 1970s Maine, but I feel like articulating that particular criticism on Tumblr is something of a glass-houses situation.

[prokopetz]

Like, yeah, King will have literal space aliens making pop culture references that only old men from small-town Maine would plausibly make; however, I have seen the kinds of novels that people who spent their twenties on Tumblr write, and there is also a very definite sense of time and place.

[starrynet]

that’s his little guy!!

[littleguysdaily]

I wish I had what they have...

[jessaerys]

i think it's beautiful that cats eat you if you die in your apartment and nobody finds you for a while. i don't know why it's used as anti-kitty cat propaganda as if eating you means they don't love u. if i died and no one found me for a while i would want my kitty cat to eat me bc i love her so much and i don't want her to starve. it's not her fault i'm too dead to give her her fancy feasts. she's going thru something scary ok. i don't know a single cat owner who doesn't feel the same way

[calamitysong]

I P address? baby it’s called the bathroom 😂

[dimensions-allofthem]

All the lawyer's reactions to experiencing Ally for the first time:

Their immediate reaction to the lawyers thinking they aren't a liability:

[paininmyassachusetts]

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

[paininmyassachusetts]

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can!  ❤️❤️❤️

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

Commissions I will NOT take:

👎 Kids (Teens are fine tho)

👎 Bystanders

👎 Other Hitmen

If you want to know why, message me, but otherwise no hate pls ✨

[jelloapocalypse]

hey guys, normally i try to keep drama off of my blog but this is really important. I just wanted to let you know that someone named WetWorkKing05 has been taking credit for MY kills over on redbloodle.com and is making money off of my hard work. When I messaged him directly he blocked me and threatened to kill ME >_> I’ve tried talking with the mods about getting his account taken down, but redbloodle has NO policy for this and they are no help at all. i don’t know what to do??

PLS signal boost if you can! And in the meantime, if you need somebody killed, do NOT hire WetWorkKing05! he is a THIEF!

[jelloapocalypse]

repeat after me:

MURDER 👏 THEFT 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 WORSE 👏 CRIME 👏 THAN 👏 REGULAR  👏 MURDER  👏

[uncklerman]

Credits to the murderer

[vashito]

“Why are your prices so high???? I could kill him myself for free! whatever, ur not even that good at murder anyway”

[alertmode]

Emergency Murder Slots available!

First Person - $450, additional bodies add $375 each

(Basically a steal still my normal rate is $650. Cmon guys it’s $200 off!)

Serious inquiries only. EXPOSURE IS NOT A CURRENCY!

[klubbhead]

Guys please support all these hardworking Individuals!

Good hitmen are hard to find so it’s up to us to raise awareness!!!!

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

Omg I love this guy’s work! He’s new and not so well known in the hitman community, but he’s so amazing and is appreciate it if you guys have him some love ❤️❤️

[thatquietkid108]

Support your local assassins

[helloareyouheremdfan]

”um why would I pay a hitmen would I could just steal military ai and have it kill anyone I want for free”

[shr00mie-rat]

Ai military robots can not murder like real hit men, they’re messy and lack the spirit that involves murder

[cliodevotus]

I’m never leaving this fucking app.

[eroscestlavie]

normally I would not just screenshot myself and post it here but it’s Friday and I’m feeling lazy

[decepticonsensual]

Not to be all "the children have forgotten the sacred texts!" but I just saw someone refer to a ship between two people who are good friends in canon as a crackship.

Hon. No. Crackship doesn't just mean "not canon". It's difficult to imagine two people who spend significant canon time together as a crackship. Crackship is when you write Galactus getting fucked by Tony the Tiger.

[decepticonsensual]

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

[karvina]

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

[karvina]

not really sure how to get her out though

[karvina]

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

[writingdose]

me: I should write

also me: let me play the scene in my head and fantasize about writing it instead