Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.
I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.
The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.
This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.
And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.
Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.
Why is measles back in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.
Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.
Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.
What contributed to the Covid outbreak?
Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.
“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.
Please give credit to Matthew Cortland, the disabled lawyer and activist whose work is reflected in that last screenshot. They work hard on documenting what Trump and his cronies have been doing & they deserve credit.
They've also repealed decades old food safety regulations which make corporations responsible for sanitizing equipment and supply lines. This is what happens when you tell companies it's up to them to decide how often to clean their equipment.
buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”
[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]
No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.
The wealthy author escalated a social media spat that resulted in posting a photo from a 2023 event at the Institute of Economic Affairs in
Let's not beat around the bush: Children's author JK Rowling sexually harassed someone. In some jurisdictions, this would count as sexual abuse. JK Rowling has committed a sex crime against a woman and fell back on the old rape apologist standby of "she was asking for it".
Hey Everyone! I hope the conclusion to what me and my editor affectionately called the "Meth Rampage" chapter was satisfying for all involved! While we wait to find out how Pentagram City dug itself out of Waffle Batter afterwards, we have some things to talk about! Head on after the break for some of plans to keep you entertained while you wait for the continuation of the story!
Overall Plan
The goal is to use this break to build up my backlog of chapters again, so we can begin weekly posting when we start up with relative assurances that each subsequent Saturday has a new episode for a good while. I want to be sure there isn't too many breaks in between stories and such. As you can guess, it takes a lot of time and effort to get these things done in a decent enough time span.
Crow and I have other obligations as well, including our own original writing projects, so that also takes time away from me writing and him editing. Therefore I'm mostly asking everyone to please be patient with me. Trust me, you'll have a lot to sift through once we're back. I plan to get at least ten new chapters finished before we start up. It marks a significant milestone in my overall plans, you see. And if I can get past that big chapter arc, then, well, we should be good for the remainder. At least for a while.
But I don't want to leave you hanging. So I encourage you to either follow me here or check back when possible to see some things I'm planning on. Let's Talk about them!
Break Activities
For one, I'm going to try drawing a bit more. Either just with RJ doing scenes from the story, or general scenarios I can cook up for him to do. I'd encourage you, if you'd be so inclined, to join in, draw some of your favorite scenes from the story or even reinterpret what I draw. So long as it's something involving stuff from the story that you've drawn personally yourself without any... assistance from something not human, should we say, I'll be happy to post it here!
Alongside some of that art there may also be some stories to go with it! RJ and his Friends, and maybe his enemies, were doing a lot more than what we saw on the page. These little short stories would feature scenarios that went on in-between chapters, paragraphs, and even sentences, that we didn't see or hadn't had time for. I already have a few ideas that involve everyone's favorite Snake inventor! But don't be surprised if we jump around, I'm not following any sort of strict chronological timeline. These stories will crop up as I think about them.
As always, I'll be updating Behind the Scenes posts both here and on my blog in blocks as the chapters go up on FF.Net. I'll be getting on that soon, I promise. Not as soon as I'd like, but certainly soon. FF.Net can be finicky after all, but more on that in a minute.
I'll also look into opening up the Ask Tab for interested parties as well. But mainly for the characters of the story. Simply ask which character, either original or otherwise, your question, and so long as it's nothing too spoiler heavy or... well, weird, I'll be happy to have them answer.
I'm planning on creating a proper voice claim video for Tail soon as well, keep an eye out for that one. I'm hoping I'll have more time for it soon enough.
And as we get closer to the return of the second half of the season, I'll make sure everyone knows. I'm considering doing a few trailers for it. Crow suggested it, seems like a fun bit. Mind you, they're not gonna be videos, more like a script text format outlining what happens. Although part of me wishes I could do something like an audio trailer. But I'm not really comfortable using my voice for all the characters.
You do not want to hear me try to do Charlie, that would be weird.
That's most of what I plan to do DMtH related wise, but there's something else I'm hoping to get working on in the coming weeks to help placate folks who might still want something to read while we wait. Lucky for all of you, I have a backlog! And that's where FF.Net comes in again!
Re-Posting and Re-Mastering Old Fics!
Some of you might know me over on FF.Net under the same name of General Rage. I've been on Fanfiction.net for a good while now and... well, frankly it isn't what it used to be. The code is busted, the site continues to have a failure every other month to a week, and frankly, it's just outdated. I stuck with it because it's where I made a name for myself, but I've been meaning to start re-posting a lot of my old stories to AO3. However, it's a bit hard to figure out which one I should choose. And frankly, I'm curious to see what my readership looks like concerning cross-fandom overlap, so... we're going to have an old fashioned Poll! Right here!
I have two stories I'm looking to upload onto AO3, both of which I'm going to seriously upgrade when I do. Nothing too fancy, maybe added pictures, some Cover Art, depends on which story is picked. Mostly, I'll probably be fixing a lot of spelling mistakes and some... choices I made here and there that I've been meaning to fix.
Anyway, I want to see which story folks are interested in seeing me upload first. So, here are your choices.
"When There Was a Tomorrow"
This was my breakout Mass Effect/Halo crossover fic, the first in my series, the Wormhole Chronicles. It's a monster of a project I've put a ton of work into and is still ongoing. I'll be writing some chapters for the current entry, A Monument to All You Sins, while on break from DMtH. But this was where it started and frankly, it needs some touching up. I've been meaning to upload it to AO3 for a while now, and I'd like to see if I can use this as a way to kick myself in the pants a bit to do it.
Here's the Summary:
Commander Wade Shepard has recently taken down the Collectors and the Shadow Broker with his formerly estranged friend Liara T'Soni, and he's growing worried about the coming storm of the Reapers. However, when he and the Normandy Crew encounter a strange wormhole along the edge of the galactic rim, they soon run a foul of a whole new enemy in the form of the genocidal and theocratic alien alliance known as the Covenant. After a pitched battle, the Normandy's only hope of survival is to flee through the very Wormhole they discovered. Where they wind up lost in an entirely new universe where humanity is facing an entirely different sort of apocalypse. Now Shepard and his crew must prove themselves to a suspicious and xenophobic UNSC, while working with a group of Spartans, Noble Team, as they fight a whole new kind of war, in a whole new Galaxy... but not everything is so unfamiliar. Commander Shepard's morals, values and character will all be put to the test as he faces down a threat that could destroy humanity twice over. And it all starts on a little planet called Reach.
Fun, huh? If you're looking for some heavy military combat action and hard sci-fi thrills, this is your jam. Or if you just like either of the franchises involved, that works too.
"Star Wars: Force of Nature"
This one is very special to me. Written when I needed a serious break and just wanted to do something fun, by combining two of my childhood loves together. Star Wars... and Godzilla! Yes, that's right, Godzilla vs Imperial Stormtroopers! Giant monster action in a Galaxy Far, Far Away! It's one of the most crazy fun stories I've ever written and while it might be a one off, if feel its very complete as is.
Here's the Summary:
The people of Earth have had enough of Godzilla's constant threat to their livelihoods. Together, they've come up with a plan that will rid humanity of the king of the monsters for good! But in what they think is a scheme that will finally kill the monster merely transports him to another time, another place, further away than any of them could imagine. Godzilla arrives on an alien world on the cusp of a great battle, as Rebel forces plan a daring raid against a secret Imperial Weapons facility. The Crew of the Ghost is handpicked by Ahsoka Tano, former Jedi Knight, to lead a small commando raid to prepare for a full invasion by several rebel cells who have banded together to put an end to a plan that could wipe out the Rebellion before it even can become a true Alliance. Neither them, nor the Empire realize that the King of the Monsters has already arrived... and he's not looking to share the throne with anyone.
It's non-stop, high concept, Kaiju action throughout this fic. But if you're interested in standard Star Wars fare, with political intrigue and war stories, and Jedi lifting rocks? We got loads of that two! As Godzilla stomps across an alien world, intent on seizing it for his own, slowly approaching a confrontation with the only other monster on this planet that can challenge him... and it might not be who you think.
So if you're into Star Wars, or you just love a good monster story, vote for this one! I promise you won't be disappointed, especially since I'll be adding some pictures and the like to help better illustrate the narrative for everyone.
No matter which story is picked, I will be adding in some extra commentary in the notes before and after each chapter. Nothing too major, just me reminiscing on things and explaining a few short thoughts here and there. You can expect these stories to be updated from that point on. Maybe not as regularly as DMtH was, given I'll obviously have other projects to do and editing and such can take some time. But you'll definitely see them before long, I promise.
So I'm going to set up a poll for folks, give you all some time to look it over. Choose the story you want to see me upload first. I'll give you guys a week, that seems fair.
Which Story Would You Like To See Me Upload to AO3 First?
When There Was a Tomorrow - Halo/Mass Effect Crossover
Star Wars: Force of Nature - Godzilla/Star Wars Crossover
Voting ended onJul 26
Closing thoughts For Now...
Lastly, I want to express once again my deep gratitude for everyone who stuck it out and checked out my story. Dragon Me to Hell was a serious labor of love and I am overjoyed with how the reception to it, however slow, has been so positive. Thank you all, truly, for giving me the chance to express myself. It wasn't easy putting myself out there like, with a story that became so very personal to me. At times I was worried I had done something wrong, that people just weren't into my silly idea. But I can't believe how far I've come in the past year with it. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart for your words of kindness and encouragement. Writing is my passion and seeing the response I've gotten has meant the world to me.
I hope you'll come back when Dragon Me to Hell continues to retell the first season of Hazbin Hotel, in all the ups and downs involved in it... and... you know what... before I go... I'll leave you with this tidbit for something that happens deep into the second half. There's a reason I had Green-Eyes show up again in that hallucination... she's coming back. And it's gonna be a doozy when she does!
I am fucking loving how shit-scared the UK right-wing is of a man with a bin on his head. Now that Count Binface might actually win the Clacton byelection they're desperately trying to smear him with such gems as:
"He's anti-Brexit!" Good.
"He's anti-Trump!" Good.
"He's anti-establishment!" At this point I think you're just trying to make me like him more.
"His manager once called Farage a horrible cunt!" Well Farage *is* a horrible cunt, what's your point?
"He's making a joke of British politics!" Well that's very appropriate given that current British politics *are* a fucking joke.
"He's a left-wing liberal elitist!" I don't know if you can be all of those things at once, but I do know that Count Binface isn't the one getting millions in donations from cryptocurrency billionaires sooooooo...
Two years ago, the occupation destroyed our home, turning our dreams, memories, and everything we owned into piles of rubble and ash, as seen in this picture.
You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.
Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one.
Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest.
By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise.
Zeus never stood a chance.
What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.
Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”
And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.
And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”
“Where are you-?”
“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”
“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.
“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”
He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.
“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.” Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.
“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”
“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.” She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”
It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.
It is painful to keep secrets, especially important ones. Dates and times, hours and minutes, names and places can raise nations or fell kings, if they are the right ones. Those that want those secrets will inflict every cruelty to pry them out of otherwise discreet lips.
Far, far away, Prometheus smiled through yet another liver removal. The bird went upon its way and the wound began to knit.
He kept his secret. The burden of the bigger picture demanded it. Zeus was kinder than Kronos, who was kinder than the primal chaos that came before. The pattern would hold, so long as the titan’s tongue was likewise held.
In the early days, when Zeus would come to interrogate him each day between the bird’s feasts, Prometheus had allowed himself one small slip. Had the Lord of Olympus been less enraged he might have recognized the prophecy when the Firebringer spoke it under the veil of defiant spite.
When Prometheus laughed through gritted teeth and stared the King of the Gods right in the eye, and prophesied.
You wish to know, oh mighty King of Olympus, merciful and just?
You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.
Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one.
Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest.
By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise.
Zeus never stood a chance.
What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.
Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”
And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.
And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”
“Where are you-?”
“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”
“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.
“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”
He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.
“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.” Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.
“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”
“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.” She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”
It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.
Honestly, at this point, if you're still bitching about AI but not moving to open-source and nonprofit software/tech/services, you deserve it. Shut up or stop using it. Those of us who've put in the effort to switch to non-evil tech are sick of the purposeless whining.
I've been nicely letting everyone suggest open source on this post because it might genuinely be useful to someone but because you've decided to be a condescending little bastard- this might be a hard concept to grasp, but some of us actually have jobs. Some of those jobs also provide us with computers equipped with an OS we have zero say over, to use software we also have zero say over. Kindly get off your high horse and suck my dick.
As someone who has worked in IT for the past 17 years, I'd also like to say that there is often a higher barrier of entry for open-source software / operating systems when it comes to technical knowledge and ability, and those who can't jump that barrier still deserve to not have AI programs installed on their devices without their knowledge or consent. Someone who struggles with Windows is not going to be able to just hop into Linux, especially when they probably have other things going on in their lives and don't have the time to sit down and learn a brand new operating system. Someone who doesn't even recognize that there are different browsers, much less open-source ones that aren't Chromium forks, isn't going to be able to seek out one they can both a.) safely download, b.) install, and c.) use instead of the shortcut they know as The Internet.
And sure, you can dismiss these people as lazy, as stupid, as being elderly and so who cares. But from my 17 years of experience, I can tell you that technical instinct and ability varies widely across the entire adult spectrum. And I can also tell you that people have different strengths, and that just because someone isn't good with computers doesn't mean they aren't smart as hell.
And I can also say, again, that it really doesn't matter.
Companies like Microsoft and Google sneaking AI software into devices and software without the consent of those using the software or devices is wrong. It's invasive and raises major security concerns. People should not have to learn entirely new operating systems to escape this nonsense. It's an unreasonable expectation, and it fails to hold companies like Microsoft and Google accountable for their malicious behavior.
I am fucking loving how shit-scared the UK right-wing is of a man with a bin on his head. Now that Count Binface might actually win the Clacton byelection they're desperately trying to smear him with such gems as:
"He's anti-Brexit!" Good.
"He's anti-Trump!" Good.
"He's anti-establishment!" At this point I think you're just trying to make me like him more.
"His manager once called Farage a horrible cunt!" Well Farage *is* a horrible cunt, what's your point?
"He's making a joke of British politics!" Well that's very appropriate given that current British politics *are* a fucking joke.
"He's a left-wing liberal elitist!" I don't know if you can be all of those things at once, but I do know that Count Binface isn't the one getting millions in donations from cryptocurrency billionaires sooooooo...
Okay I think most of my followers are from outside the UK so I need to explain to you what the fuck has happened in British politics in the last 24 hours
Recently, Nigel Farage (the Member of Parliament for Clacton, and the frog-faced leader of right-wing fascist party Reform UK) has come under scrutiny for receiving a £5 million "gift" from a crypto billionare, and being unable to give a consistent answer for why. He has denied any wrongdoing, he has threatened reporters for asking questions about the matter, and he is currently under investigation by the Parliamentary Standards Commission.
If the Standards Commission finds Farage in breach of conduct, he will likely face a recall election in his district in September. He is unhappy with this possibility, so he has decided to "resign" and trigger a special election now. I say "resign" in quotes because he is standing in said election, and intends to remain in Parliament. Theoretically, winning this election will demonstrate that he has a mandate from the people in his district to continue representing them in spite of the allegations against him.
This is idiotic for several reasons. First, resigning now does not permanently shut down the Standards Commission investigation; if he is re-elected, the Commission can still find against him later on and still force him to face a recall election, meaning the Clacton constituency might have to hold two elections in the space of a few months.
The other problem for Farage is that essentially nobody else is bothering to entertain this farce. No major party is running a candidate against him, arguing that Farage is throwing a tantrum and wasting public money in the process. Only one opponent of note has put their name forward: intergalactic space warrior and perennial satirical candidate Count Binface.
The above image gallery is, at time of writing, the entire slate of candidates for this election.
This gambit has backfired spectacularly on Farage. He thrives on media attention, but with no serious candidates standing, this campaign won't receive any. No journalist who does cover it will bother asking him policy questions, so they will have to ask him about the £5m "gift" instead, which he hates discussing. He cannot run his usual shtick of presenting himself as the "anti-establishment voice", because the only thing more absurd than running against a comedian with a dustbin on his head is referring to said dustbin comedian as an "establishment politician". He cannot even attack Binface for not being local to the district because, to quote Binface himself, Farage "spends more time in America than in Clacton". The whole process will humiliate Farage --doubly so if Binface (as the sole protest candidate) garners a significant portion of the vote -- and one of the few things that fascist politicians cannot stand is humiliation.
Unfortunately I think Binface's chances of actually winning are slim (Clacton is a heavily right-wing area, and many people who oppose Farage will probably ignore the election outright rather than cast a protest vote). If he does win, though, I can say with certainty that the crabs will be raving and the Destiel screenshots will be out in full force.
Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?
Let me explain:
Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.
Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.
Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.
He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.
Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.
To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.
Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.
But. There is another option.
COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.
Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.
Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.
But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.
Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.
