YOU ARE THE REASON
ojovivo
gracie abrams
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosimo Galluzzi
macklin celebrini has autism
untitled
NASA
if i look back, i am lost
Product Placement
Jimmy Eat World
Monterey Bay Aquarium
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
official daine visual archive
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
hello vonnie
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tannertan36
Mike Driver
Origami Around
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@whenas-in-silks
theres no difference between exercise and black magic both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy but the more you dabble in it the more powerful you become
this is the most inspiring thing i have ever read
reblog to reclaim your power
couch to 5k necromancy
You are not supposed to tell people this
THE CANADIAN SPACE AGENCY?!!!? 😭😭😭
frequently, secretly fond of each other.
| the hollanov boston raiders teammates au | chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?” “Okay,” Hollander says. He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.
Nobody knows why Shane Hollander dropped out of the 2009 draft at the last second, and a year later it stuns the whole hockey world when he's signed by the Boston Raiders. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston - but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
Discussions of trans women in sports often focus on elite/professional sports which honestly I find it hard to care about but the more common scenario of “we’re going to legally ban a high school girl from playing sports with her friends because she’s trans” is just profoundly evil
i remember when utah's (republican) governor ended up vetoing a law banning transgender students from playing high school sports when he looked at the numbers, and there were only four trans students in the state playing sports at all. he released a clumsily worded but surprisingly compassionate statement about the decision.
I must admit, I am not an expert on transgenderism. I struggle to understand so much of it, and the science is conflicting. When in doubt, however, I always try to err on the side of kindness, mercy, and compassion. I also try to get proximate, and I am learning so much from our transgender community. They are great kids who face enormous struggles. Here are the numbers that have most impacted my decision: 75,000, 4, 1, 86 and 56. 75,000 high school kids participating in high school sports in Utah. 4 transgender kids playing high school sports in Utah. 1 transgender student playing girls sports. 86% of trans youth reporting suicidality. 56% of trans youth having attempted suicide. Four kids and only one of them playing girls sports. That’s what all of this is about. Four kids who aren’t dominating or winning trophies or taking scholarships. Four kids who are just trying to find some friends and feel like they are a part of something. Four kids trying to get through each day. Rarely has so much fear and anger been directed at so few. I don’t understand what they are going through or why they feel the way they do. But I want them to live.
of course, it didn't amount to much. they overrode his veto. it's just so cartoonishly evil. an entire state's political body so desperate to terrorize this one little trans girl.
I love folks asking for no spoilers for the rest of Gideon the Ninth after they've read it. "Please no spoilers" my sibling in Jod, I even if I laid the rest of the plot out in bullet points for you step by step in an annotated diagram there is no way I could prepare you for what was happening. I could tell you point blank what happens to each and every character in the series and you'd still read the books and go "what the fuck". Tamsyn Muir made a spoiler proof trilogy. It's like the matrix. You cannot know what happens in future books. To be frank even if you read them it's pretty much uncertain you know what happens in future books. I want the next one right now.
making a collection
adding to the collection
yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist
partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”
employee (completely blank expression): “No.”
partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”
employee: “We don’t have that.”
partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”
employee (face still unreadable): “No.”
partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”
other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*
Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.
theories I’ve considered:
- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)
- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)
- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism
- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)
After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.
partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”
employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”
partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”
employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*
partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*
employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*
other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*
new theories:
- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three
- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness
A few additional updates/clarifications:
Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey
Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper
Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:
Octopuses can fit through any gap larger than their beak.
What a beautiful octopus.
Common misconception! This is actually a fuck!
@misidentifying-animals-in-posts May you tell us what this creature is?
Eastern fence lizard (Sceloporus undulatus). Unless the gif is in reverse, in which case it’s a Western fence lizard (Sceloporous occidentalis).
Wait is jerking it to fanfic like? Widely accepted?
critically acclaimed even
love that ilya is actually kinda confused when he meets shane for the first time but then as soon as shane goes for the SECOND handshake in a 2 minutes interaction his whole body language changes and hes like oh. OH hes flirting with me,, and he was !! ! (sighs) shane hollander youre so cute and lovable. ilya didnt stand a chance
first handshake
second handshake
like,,,,,, come one ! !!
The funniest subplot of the blizzard was New Yorkers fujoshimaxxing at the mayor’s direction
Ilya btw
A wild ride:
This author has chosen to make their posts visible only to people who are signed in.
(I'm sorry, I don't have the spoons to alt-text all that, but if anyone wants to add in a reblog, have at.)
A routine bus trip from New York City to D.C. took a harrowing turn for passengers last night (Monday) when the driver reportedly decided to
I feel like adding a little addition here because the OP got the funniest possible e-mail after this
some hollanov femslash wip / rated e
When she fucks you, she leaves bruises. When she fucks you she leaves her bra on, her nipples hard beneath the fabric, your thumbs tracing over the topography, a mountaineer’s journey. When Ilya arrives at your room, it’s with her strap already hanging between her legs, thick in her grey sweatpants. You learn her by touch, not by sight. Your hands know the shape and scent of Ilya’s cunt but your eyes don’t. Sometimes, after Ilya leaves, you bring your hand to your nose, sniffing at the leftovers of Ilya’s slick like a bitch in heat.
Does your mother know?
No, no one knows. You keep it quiet. A ticking time bomb. Queerness is the landmine. The radium in your bones. Decay, little by little. Or is it the silence that comes bound with it, part and parcel? You can’t speak, you can’t tell anyone, not your teammates, not your fans, not your adoring public. They’d tear you to pieces. That’s how fame works, everyone’s ready to step on you to get a little closer to the light. Closer to god. Your mother calls you with the headlines but you don’t look for them. One of these days it’s not going to be pretty. One of these days, an October evening sitting on your bed, not expecting it, you’ll open your inbox to a flood of hateful messages, telling you you’re awful, you’re a predator, you’re a bad example, you’re a cheater, why don’t you just get the fuck out, why don’t you disappear, how dare you.
It’ll come. It always does.
Her tits are so small. Scarcely a swelling under the white lycra, the Adidas logo on her breastbone. She could be a boy if you didn’t know any better, her dick fat and hard rammed up against your cervix, where it nearly hurts and it feels like a hunger almost satiated. There’s something scrabbling at the back of your throat and you don’t know where to put your mouth, your teeth.
You want to swallow her whole.
Today's Seal Is: The Fujoshi
they're really making scott hunter into a character of all time though he's deeply repressed, he's incredibly lonely, he's obsessive, he's a walking tragedy, he's like if american psycho fixated entirely on wifing up a barista, he longs for domesticity, he gets bullied by twinks and bullies them back, he's walking around sochi going through his own circles of hell because he ruined his own life and absolutely no one knows and on top of all that he's like forty years old scott hunter i would protect you with my life
prev this is too funny to leave in the tags I'm cackling
