Halberd Lover

She/her all cars and landlords explode forever NOW

[hc-503]

coming out as transfem to ac6 characters

walter:

What is it, 621? You'd like to go by "she/her" from now on? Hm... Alright, I'll update your records. Thank you for telling me.

ayre:

I'm glad you're being true to yourself, Raven. I didn't want to say anything but... I can see inside your head...

sculla:

This ones a woman, huh? No matter, I'll put you down like all the rest.

rusty:

Yeah, I figured. If you need hormones, I know somebody. I'm pretty sure she sells estrogen too.

snail:

I don't care if you're a he/she/they whatever! You're nothing but VERMIN, the lowest of the low, and I, V.II SNAIL, WILL-

iguazu:

W-what! Damn you freelancer... How come you always get what I- ... forget it.

carla:

Congratulations, tourist! You know, RaD is setting up new chem labs for that kinda thing. Yeah, its a real money maker. Mostly RLF, but Arquebus higher ups are buying in bulk for a "secret project". No clue what thats about but, hey, their moneys good. Come stop by, we'll get you sorted out!

freud:

Is that why you're such a good pilot? I've heard estrogen is a performance enhancer... I've been using it for about a month now, and I feel great. Like a big weight is off my shoulders. I'm still cis, though.

michigan:

Looks like G13 is switchin' sides! Congrats, kid! Hormone therapy is covered under Balam's insurance policy, just throwing that out there.

volta:

WHAT!? I GOT BEATEN BY A GIRL!? FUCK!!

nosaac:

can i borrow 20000 coam ill double it i promise

[weaponwifer]

My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

But it can hit if you plato the right crowd

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[juststarsandthemoon]

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

[a-method-in-it]

Free service with no ads that stays afloat with regular donation drives: The backbone of society

[pastabot]

[thestateonmtv]

this is still the funniest fucking thing i remember being 7 and almost throwing up watching this and now im 20 puking onto my rug 

[pinkplushiestar]

my favourite Calvin and Hobbes strip

[creekfiend]

a funny thing about having conversations with people within institutions (academic in this case but also others) about gatekeeping, is that you end up having a conversation over and over in which you're like, "hey this alligator spike pit moat you have erected around your institution is keeping a lot of people out," and they're like, "well *I* navigated the alligator spike pit moat just fine," and you're like, "right. by dint of us having this conversation, you within the institution and me without, it is understood that you navigated the alligator spike pit moat. due to that being an inherent requirement of entering the institution," and they're like, "I don't think you understand the prestigious history of our alligator spike pit moat," and you're like, "is there a reason why there needs to be an alligator spike pit moat encircling the concept of higher education?" and they're like, "look, the alligator spike pit moat isn't for everyone. some people just aren't cut out for the alligator spike pit moat :)" and you're like, "right, yeah, like disabled people and people coming from poverty or unstable home environments or underserved communities or people dealing with difficult to navigate life events like pregnancy or abuse or prison or addiction or the death of a loved one, for example" and they're like, "how dare you imply that we are keeping those people out on purpose. it's their own problem if they can't wrestle the alligators and avoid the spikes while also disabled and/or poor and/or pregnant etc" and you're like, "well that seems evil," and they're like, "it sounds like maybe you're just bitter about the alligator spike pit moat because of your totally random individual experience with ONE bad alligator spike pit moat. have you considered therapy?" and you're like, "did you know that there's some patterns here in terms of how y'all are handling this stuff?" and they're like, "actually yes. we even have a department of alligator spike pit studies :)" and you're like, "that's great, how do I get access to and participate in those conversations?" and they're like, "well firstly you must cross the alligator spike pit moat"

[creekfiend]

if you can document that you have a medical condition that might make it challenging for you to navigate the alligator spike pit moat, they'll give you an extra 20 minutes to complete your navigation of the alligator spike pit moat

[creekfiend]

IMPORTANT: any injuries incurred as a result of navigating the alligator spike pit moat will be the sole responsibility of the injured parties. once you leave, the people who made you navigate the alligator spike pit moat and the institution that installed the alligator spike pit moat will never contact you again. except sometimes to ask you for more money.

[creekfiend]

iiiiii love this framing, you're so right

[ismisesionnachan]

Some thoughts I had in response to this post:

A great many people who crossed the same alligator spike pit moats as me told me it's wasn't that bad, and then casually revealed they were gifted grandpa's spike-proof suit and had alligator-charming lessons starting in toddlerhood, and mom's map of the spike layout to study. They thought this was normal, and genuinely believed they had navigated the alligator spike pit moat without an unusual amount of assistance.

As a corollary, the alligator spike pit moat does not, in fact, weed out unserious and/or terminally mediocre individuals, because many of those people have been gifted alligator-grappling tools and spike-resistant boots. Alligators and spikes deter a great many enthusiastic, hardworking, and talented people who don't have a bunch of fancy protective gear and extensive training in alligator spike pit navigation.

As a second corollary, I am very grateful for the unusual amount of assistance I received in crossing the alligator spike pit moat.

A disturbing number of people did, in fact, acknowledge that the alligator spike pit moat was intended to keep people like me away from people like them and loudly expressed their displeasure that I was not eaten by alligators. One of them used the word 'besmirch'.

An equally disturbing number of people have attempted to use my successful navigation of the alligator spike pit moat as proof that my kind are not being kept out on purpose-- if I navigated it, everyone else is clearly just being lazy. Many of these people seemed to hope that my adventure in the alligator spike pit moat would make me see their point of view re: the alligator spike pit moat being necessary to ensure meritocracy bootstraps were happening in a meritorious and bootstrappy manner. It did the opposite.

TLdr: I have two STEM degrees from institutions known for the viciousness of the alligators and sharpness of the spikes in their alligator spike pit moats. This is not sour grapes. Fuck the alligator spike pit moat.

[at-the-end-of-all]

school uniform codes extending to what colours you’re allowed to dye your hair, and what piercings you can have and stuff is so crazy. you HAVE to go to school and you’re not even allowed to have pink hair or pierce your nose about it????

[at-the-end-of-all]

“oh it’s to prepare you for the workplace” okay. i don’t think any workplace should be dictating what you can and can’t do with your body either and i think it’s strange to decide to teach children that their body is not their own

[captainjonnitkessler]

>Join a union

>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on

>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members

>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on

[captainjonnitkessler]

I went to my union meeting tonight and the retirees' monthly complaint about our healthcare was that for some reason it only lets doctors prescribe six Viagra pills at a time, and they want to fuck more than six times a month. That's verbatim. Think about what you could be missing by not going to your union meetings.

[squeakitties]

still thinking about the apparent 2006-2007 epidemic of rabid swarms of wii remotes descending on helpless televisions like locusts

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

wii sports was invented by nefarious television manufacturers to break people's televisions

[puppygirllaika]

What a very funny joke that definitely did not happen because Nintendo definitely did not buy up almost a third of the shares of the top five TV manufacturers in the time between the announcement and release of the Wii, shares which definitely didn't skyrocket in value over the next two years due to an increase in flatscreen sales, nearly half of which independent analysts attributed to people replacing damaged TVs with newer, more expensive models from electronics stores that relied on high-pressure sales tactics to upsell people and get them to buy more expensive models on credit which they couldn't actually afford.

[butterfly-sapphic]

Holy fucking shit

[support-for-the-suicidal]

When we talk about the autonomy of suicide, it's almost always discussed from the side of the right to die — which is definitely important and does need to be accepted by more of society. But there's also the side of the right to live. Until society stops punishing people for their existence and depriving them of what they need, the autonomy of suicide for everyone cannot be reached. Because when people are killing themselves because of changeable, societal structures, that is not a completely autonomous decision. It is one that has been forced upon them.

Suicidal people will always exist and people who will always be suicidal exist and that is not inherently an issue that needs to be solved. But it becomes an issue when people are forced into it. Currently, suicide prevention involves institutionalizing suicidal people, telling them that they must survive, by any means possible, but so many of them have been told the opposite for their entire lives, implicitly or otherwise. Suicide prevention should involve working to improve society, making it a livable and survivable place for all people. Only then will the autonomy of suicide be achieved. Otherwise, so much of it is social murder.

In short, "Don't kill yourself 🥺" isn't enough — solving the why behind it is.

[swamplevel]

wheres that post thats like you deserve better than mcdonalds and car sex

[bungerc0re]

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

[parawyrm]

[rosieandthemoon]

I am cordially inviting all of you to post this in the comments/reblogs of any and every Al post you come across, on any platform. Especially useful for accounts who “teach” people how to use Al.

[malottie]

i think i need femboy culture to die like yesterday actually

[malottie]

like. this is so bad it had me stunlocked at the start. i didn't even know what to be upset at

1. this is not from a porn site or anything. this was platformed on youtube by someone who seemingly "tries to keep the community as SFW as possible". no one will be surprised by this because the femboy self-sexualisation is so commonplace its absence is more surprising than its presence at this point

2. "princess boy" feels like a direct parallel to "lady boy". i don't need to explain why this is insanely transmisogynistic

3. the fish guy immediatly switching from "this is pretty wife" to "this is sex toy tranny" upon learning that the person isn't "an actual woman" reveals how absolutely normalized it is to view transfems as sex objects to be freely abused, always treated worse than both cis men and cis women would be

4. the femboy character's response to being promised continuous sexual violence by a group being "cool thanks" reflects how the femboy community will do one of 3 things when confronted with the real violence transfems face : completely gloss over it, turn it into a joke, or say "that's hot" and turn it into more fuel for the degradation of transfemininity through sexualisation. this somehow manages to be a bit of all 3. mainly the third though

5. it's the "trap" trope all over again. "i look like a woman but i'm actually a dude! i'm being deceitful i could never actually be a girl!" transfemininity once again treated as a costume that makes you incredibly desireable. but only as a sex object, not as a person or equal. and only if it's a costume, if you're actually transfem you're lower than dirt. hot and fuckable and lower than dirt

i don't know how anybody involved in the process thought it was a good idea. it just. feels bad all around. like it was fabricated specifically to make me lose my marbles. and i probably missed a lot this is just off the top of my head at 2 in the morning with the entry-level transfeminism i absorbed through osmosis by listening to so many smart transfems on this site

[lockandkiki]

All this is right one the money, and there’s also the racial aspect. Muscular, inhuman, wielding spears, and wearing only loincloths abducting a pretty, fuckable white not-woman. It’s such an anti-indigenous and anti black caricature, and it’s just disgusting once you see it.

[sadclowncentral]

my friends held an intervention for me to "stop asking intimidately specific questions". i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently "a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes". turns out my curious nature is "scaring the hoes"

[sadclowncentral]

when i asked for examples i was told that "do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?" and "is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?" are apparently "inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club". but i disagree. as if you wouldn't be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that's what i thought

[sadclowncentral]

[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]

the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as "when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?" and "would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?" and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn't, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).

the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said "holy fuck" and then after a moment of consideration "i think i am too drunk. i'm going home" and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.

...he was also the catalyst for the intervention i received.

[findingfeather]

OP your friends are 100% wrong and “that person at the bar who asks you the question that makes you rethink your whole life because they Actually Listened” is a long, storied and honourable place in the pantheon of strangers you will meet. Sounds like you’re doing a bang up job, well done.

[the-real-seebs]

yeah, you're fine, please keep doing that, it's important work.

[were--ralph]

I bring a sort of "not pregnant but needs to be" vibe to the party that you can kind of smell if you try hard enough

[were--ralph]

I really need to find out what goes on in omegaverse that makes this relatable

[were--ralph]

This is forever fascinating to me bc people assume I know omegaverse lore but genuinely the only thing I know is there's an alpha and he's the hottest one and there's something to do with mpreg

[gods-no-longer-tread-here]

nah omegaverse is basically a way to make cis men characters experience sexism without genderbending or making them trans, stereotypical alphas are the Big Strong Protectors who Impregnate Their Mates and stereotypical omegas are the Small Submissive Homemakers who Carry The Pups. it is 100% just "hey what if humans were biologically Catholic and also cats?"

there's nuances and ways to explore the genre and truly kinky smut, but other people have already written essays on that.

[were--ralph]

this explanation is very funny but i am now tempted to barge in and flip the way this works entirely so its less sexism and more equality all around

[were--ralph]

i think the alpha should get pregnant and the omega has a pack of slutty tops he leads around with a cunty leash and it leads to gang wars

[motheatenmoonlight]

okay but nessie was given the scientific name nessiteras rhombopteryx so she’d be included in the conservation of wild creatures and wild plants act of ‘75.

it’s a felony to shoot bigfoot in washington state.

the human race has sent out messages to the stars, hoping that any extraterrestrials who hear will accept our offer of friendship.

ghost hunters extend their sympathy to the souls of murder victims and bring along items that the spirits loved in life.

I think there’s something very human about the desire to believe in the paranormal. we don’t know if any of these things truly exist, but we make the offer of friendship and protection anyway. I just think it’s really lovely in its own ridiculous way.