I'm not crying, I've just got something in my eye...
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@wildthoughtappeared
I'm not crying, I've just got something in my eye...
that theory that the Arkenstone is a SilmarilâŠitâs doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure thatâŠyou wouldnât even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, âThorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think theyâre being nuts, so IâŠkind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.â And (itâs been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanorâs gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *spittake*
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwoodâs eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingolâs court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. weâre good. weâre good for now*
Gandalf: Thatâs, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled âthisfuckingrockagain.jpgâ]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves:Â no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while:Â Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf:Â Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel:Â Youâve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?
Gandalf:Â No, no.
Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.
Elrond: *wordless sputtering*
Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]
Galadriel:Â Oh yes, Belladonnaâs boy, you were telling me about him last winter.Â
Galadriel:Â Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?
Elrond: No fucking shit.
Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know itâs nearly mating season. but we have a situation again
Gandalf:Â [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]
Gandalf:Â [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]
Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned âThe Hobbitâ so Bilboâs little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kidâs book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didnât immediately raise the alarm about Bilboâs ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angelâs serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG â pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactâ. And then. AND THEN! One day heâs like, âhey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journeyâ. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming ânottheoneringnottheoneringnottheoneringâ while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- âItâs this plain gold ring thatâs very precious to me and turns me invisible!â
AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CANâT REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURONâS RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN
@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P
Iâve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D
Next youâll be telling me Sting is Gurthang
Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgothâs crown
âAverage Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journeyâ statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.
This is why the MINUTE Pippin touches anything, Gandalfâs like, âAbsolutely not. I can barely trust your cousins, but youâre PURE TOOK.â
So obviously Ilya will never let go of his grudge against Montreal. He will make it his personal mission to humiliate them every time they play, total shutouts while getting a hat trick himself, grind them into dust, obliterate their will to live etc etc. But even after he retires he wonât stop hating on Montreal. Trash talking them every chance he gets, whether the podcast heâs invited on is about hockey or the newest season of Drag Race. Heâll support every team that plays against them, frequently wearing a shirt saying I love the Centaurs and whoever beats the Metros. And Ilyaâs still going to show up to Ottawa home games when theyâre playing Montreal in thirty years and you just know the team will not disappoint him. Ilya fucking Rozanov, number one draft pick, five time Stanley Cup winner, husband of Thee Shane Hollander, bringer of glory to Ottawa, Russian menace now winning Olyampic gold for Canada, the fucking legend himself is in the stands so you better believe the Cens are going to crush the Metros. The Centaurs become the Metrosâ Angstgegner (a delightful German sports term that means fear opponent). And you know how North American sports are rife with superstitions and curses. It takes a few seasons for the talk of a curse to go around. In the beginning the Metros just accept theyâre a shit team without Hollanderâthe front office calls it rebuildingâand then once they have a decent roster again, theyâre still playing against Hollanov in Ottawa who are dominating the East and winning the Conference finals almost every year. But then once they retire, the Metros still canât win against Ottawa. At least not in Ottawa. They play there twice a season. The first season post Hollanov retirement is fine, Ottawa is still a great team, but then the years drag on and still Montreal does. Not. Win. In Ottawa. The fans acknowledge it first. They chased Hollander from the city and pissed off the queer hockey gods and now theyâre punished forever. The players believe it too, though they think Rozanov hired an etsy witch to curse them or made a deal with the Baba Yaga herself. The way heâs glowering at them from the box at the games, maybe Rozanov is a Baba Yaga.
Eventually, to break the curseâalthough no one says out loud thatâs why theyâre doing this even though everybody knows thatâs why theyâre doing thisâthe Metros have a ceremony where they retire Shaneâs number and hang his jersey in the rafters. The fans turn out in the thousands. Thereâs public viewing. They lay down rainbow symbols in front of the Bell Centre as offerings for forgiveness. They build effigies of Ilya but instead of burning them, they decorate them with flower crowns and wrap them in the bi pride flag. Shane attends the ceremony and he brings Ilya. Shane gives a short, conciliatory speech while Ilya smugly glares at everyone in attendance. The next game in Ottawa, Ottawa wins again. Someone suggests the Metros should also retire Rozanovâs number. The idea gains traction on social media but the front office decides to take further losses rather than embarrass themselves like that, because surely, at some point, the Metros will win in Ottawa again, right? right???
I am always here for Montreal realising how badly they fumbled
tbh moment of silence for scott hunter's nerves after the fight with shane was over and he had calmed down and had the mental space to consider the fact that he had now provoked shane hollander enough to have him getting in a fight for really the first time in his professional career because he was so upset.
and scott then realizing with dawning horror that the next time he meets *ilya* on the ice it will be as the guy who provoked his boyfriend enough to get in a fight for really the first time in his professional career because he was so upset.
like. scott's only known ilya when they HAVEN'T had any real reason to have beef between them. and rozanov has still always been Like That.
now scott has created an actual REASON for him to be angry.
rip.
OP's tags:
My brain, rotating this thought until something went DING:
You just know shitty players chuck racist slurs at Shane on the ice. That definitely happens. And most of the time, he just ignores it â he probably figures the best revenge is kicking ass at hockey and acting like what they said doesnât bother him.
So when Ilya sees the fight, what if his first instinct is that Scott said something so vile that even Mr. Cool-Head-Hollander was motivated to start swinging?
RIP Scott Hunter in the next New York vs Boston game, when Ilyaâs out here assuming youâre the level of racist asshole that will get Shane Hollander to throw down.
(Ilya in the locker room beforehand: giving the captain speech and dissing Scott Hunter with a level of vitriol never before seen. Everyone else: not sure why Ilyaâs decided theyâve got beef with this guy now, but theyâre up for it.)
i feel like an underdiscussed scene in the show is when ilya and shane are doing the photoshoot and get the giggles and can't stop.
like we are at the VERY start of them knowing each other, but this rivalry is already just made up of half-hearted teasing (with ilya's "you look pretty") and then them just not being able to take this intense framing seriously.
i just find it very cute because if they were was ACTUALLY animosity between them, there's no way they'd be laughing with and at each other the way they are, even waaay back when they barely know each other yet.
Absolutely! Not only that, but it's a great way to introduce that their rivalry doesn't stand up to any form of scrutiny. Fact is, people see what they want to see. And what they see isn't them. They can't even keep it up long enough to do a commercial, to the point where they clearly had to heavily edit and be very selective with the footage in order for it to air.
This is why I laugh so goddamn hard at the last lines in the scene: "Okay, I think we have what we are gonna get here. Thanks, guys!"
Yeah, man, you're right. They're giggling. They are laughing together. Rivalry? When they're off the ice, it's more like revelry. This is all the camera's gonna get. â€ïž
listen i love a little jealous shane as much as the next gal, but i think a funnier and unexplored element is that when they're out in public, ilya is just so obviously wildly uninterested in anyone else if shane is there (and even if he isn't!!) that it's not even like. fucking POSSIBLE to flirt with him.
he wasn't even WITH SHANE YET and he was still in a club giving this beautiful and flirty woman the bitchiest "can i help you???" look of all time because she was interrupting his "reading over my situationship's text thread with me" time.
IN THE CLUB, MIND YOU!!
after he and shane are together??? game OVER.
if shane is there with him before he's had enough and goes home, there could be a three ring circus coming through full of marching bands and full frontal and ilya WOULD. NOT. NOTICE.
HE DOES NOT CARE.
YOU ARE NOT SHANE. GET AWAY FROM HIM.
EW.
Also, the instances of Shaneâs jealousy seem pretty normal, so to speak. We have:
Bitchy comment about âwhoâ Ilya was doing after being ghosted for six months
Being uncomfortable while Ilya is talking about hooking up with Svetlana who âknows everything about hockeyâ.
The club scene.
Getting upset when Ilya talks about marrying Svetlana for citizenship.
Meanwhile, we have Ilya getting huffy over a single text from Rose, and remaining so even after Shane says they only had sex twice and both times were complete disasters. Which Ilya clearly doesnât believe, because to him sex with Shane is the best heâs ever had, so what do you mean âsheâs not looking for a repeat performanceâ? Heâs never heard such an outrageous lie in all his life.
Listen I know there's probably some canon reason Jaskier doesn't have like a string of kids across the Continent and I know fic authors tend to handwave it anyway but honestly all I've been thinking recently is that the real reason we know he doesn't have any (that we know about) is that he'd never shut up about them if he had like he'd would be gushign about them at all times and Geralt would end up knowing far more than he ever wanted to about these bardlings. Like it's just been on my mind since I thought it and I find it very, very funny.
the mental image of jaskier just unrolling this MASSIVE scroll that's a collection of sketches of his kids is so funny
ye olde wallet photos and there's like. THIRTY.
GLEEFULLY divvying up his inheritance to piss on his parents' legacies.
oh MAN jaskier who doesn't want to be the person in charge of the estate but ALSO doesn't want any of his greedy ass relatives getting any of it
solution? being the medieval oprah of inheritances
YOU GET A PLOT OF LAND IN LETTENHOVE. AND YOU GET A PLOT OF LAND IN LETTENHOVE. AND YOU-
@penandinkprincess This is a wonderful mental image, but let us also consider what an argument the lack of children make for non-human Jaskier: hybrid sterility.
In canon, we've seen that humans and elves have fertile offspring, which means that one of Jaskier's parents was something even weirder. I have no idea what it would be, I'm just picturing Jaskier's mother looking at some kind of eldritch abomination that no reasonable person would think a human was even capable of fucking and going: "Hear me out..."
And then decades late Jaskier is fucking his way across the Continent with nary a single pregnancy to be seen, because it's a miracle his conflicting DNA managed to mesh enough to create a viable embryo, creating functional gametes is simply not happening
i think it's important to acknowledge that the reason why mastercard/visa has such a stranglehold on american society is because cash is not the main form of payment in the usa. the predominance of card has effectively privatized currency
in japan, one of the reasons why dlsite and other similar websites are able to just remove visa as a payment option instead of changing any of their merchandise (aside from the fact that visa doesn't have a monopoly here) is because cash payments for online transactions remain an option. even if you don't have a jcb credit card or paypay or whatever, you can still pay for your online purchases using cash by taking your barcode to a convenience store, and you can do this for essentially every online vendor, meaning credit card companies can't just impose their moral judgments on your purchases with much repercussion
How does that barcode system work? I've never heard of something like that.
1. you add whatever porn games or movies or books you want to your cart and go to checkout
2. you select cash payment at conbini as your payment method
3. youre emailed a barcode that you take to the conbini
4. you show it to the cashier, they scan it, and you pay what you owe. note that the cashier does not see what youre buying
and the transaction is complete
#Please little bird
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
I might've organised this Devil's Sacrament, but you rocked up to it in full ceremonial garb
New Sherlock Holmes adaptation idea: WatsonïżŒdoes a voiceover narration of the story and it frequently contradicts whatâs happening onscreen. Sometimes itâs literally just blatant lies. Watson also frequently looks into the camera like heâs on the office. Itâs set in the original Victorian era so this should not be possible. Heâs the only character who does this.
*Holmes and Watson are making out passionately on screen*
Watson's narration: After long day of hard work, me and my friend spend a delightfull evening together, drinking tea and enjoying some music đ
Occasionally, Watsonâs narration is interrupted by an interjection from Holmes complaining about how he wrote things. The scene abruptly changes to Holmes and Watson back at baker street, where Holmes is reading over the latest copy of Watsonâs manuscript. Watson makes some snarky comment about how if Holmes wants to tell it differently heâs welcome to submit his own account to the Strand any time he likes. Holmes scoffs and Watson goes âAnyway, where was I? Oh yes-â and the scene abruptly changes back to the middle of the action where they left off.
The only other person allowed to interrupt the narration is Watsonâs long-suffering editor, Mr. Doyle, who has already slashed out three paragraphs worth of Watson describing Holmesâ long, thin fingers and is always in a state of tearing his hair out.
If I write the script do you guys think we can crowdfund this? Iâm literally not even joking anymore
My current working titles for the project are "Sherlock; Uncensored" or "Sherlock Holmes; Uncut" but please be honest with me. Do those sound too much like porn parodies
I think they sound a lot like porn parodies, but I also think that should be part of the humour
Santae's Official Meme Contest!
Letâs ring in the new year with some funny, silly, Santae-related memes! This is your chance to showcase your humor and creativity while celebrating the vibrant world of Santae. The deadline to enter this contest is:Â JANUARY 3, 2025 at 23:59:59 SST.
How to Enter:
Create one (1) Santae-themed meme that follows our Site Rules. Submit your meme on the Contest Upload Page.
Rules and Requirements:
Please only submit one (1) meme for the contest. Your meme must be Santae-related and appropriate for Santae.
Please be sure to follow our Site Rules, and ensure entries are fun and light-hearted.
You can image search "meme templates" or check out example memes for inspiration.
Winner Prizes:
First Place:Â Glitched Pet Name Certificate
Second Place:Â Synthwave Shimmer Dust
Third Place:Â Divine Synthwave Blepp Figurine
Medal Winners:Â Winners for Most Funny, Most Relatable, and Most Creative will receive a Harlowin OR Quibbit Figurine of their choice.Â
All participants will receive a Jar of SanDust as a thank you for joining. All voters will be able to select a prize after placing their vote.
Deadline to Enter:
You have until JANUARY 3, 2025, at 23:59:59 SST to submit your meme to the Contest Upload Page.
Submissions Period:Â December 8th to January 3rd, ending at 23:59:59 SST.
Voting Period:Â Community voting will take place from January 4th to January 8th, ending at 23:59:59 SST.
Good Luck to all participants and we cannot wait to see what you all create <3
With Love & Gratitude,
~The Santae Team
This should be entertaining.
Username: Jenny
every time I hear someone say âwe should just get rid of physical shops and have everything onlineâ I get a bit angry because
a) physical shops are important for those who donât have access to a computer/ internet/ ect
b) those âweirdâ and ânicheâ shops I love so much donât have the same vibe online, they turn into just another website
c) I hate paying for shipping
d) it is in fact often impossible to assess the quality, appearance and just how accurate the dimensions of the item are if you want to buy from just an image
e) so many online shops have fucking miserable websites, with half their stuff mislabelled, and most have shit search and filters. Good luck finding what you need.
f) if you can figure out exactly how clothing/shoes/anything will fit you just from looking at it online, then you have power greater than I. Over-ear headphones are my special pet peeve for this - I don't know if my ears are just weird, or if this is something everyone suffers from, but so many of them are just...uncomfy. I have to be in the shop, and put the demo set on my head to judge whether they're something I can wear for more than 15 minutes
In the Pokémon world this constitutes a new type of guy
people probably arent gonna remember all 905 pokemon nor learn about all 905
has the person who made those tags not seen how many subreddits there are to help people identify bugs and animals and stuff??
Anyway Iâd kill to see the pokemon version that guy holding a tarantula hawk or the other one with the blue ringed octopus that sounds amazing
Consider-
Picture of a man holding a Spoink in his hands: I found this little guy in the forest! Doesnât look native to Galar. What kind of PokĂ©mon is this?
The comments: ITS HEART ISNT BEATING PUT IT DOWN PUT IT DOWN PUT IT
Someone who has never seen an absol: *posts a video of one yowling at everyone* âaw poor baby :( is there something I can do to help it, it looks in painâ
The comments: âr u nâ
Or someone whoâs like âahah this cute bugger got into my room and transformed into my pachirisuâ and the comments are trying to figure out what it is, like, is it a ditto, a zorua, what. And then homeboy posts a pic and everyone goes wild because heâs got a mew in his room
Consider this, thereâs a big debate thread as to whether or not eating vanillite was okay.
>was
well it doesnât sound like he waited
Person who knows nothing about Yamask: lol look at this thing that wonât leave my house, its mask looks like my grandma #doppelganger
The comments: buddy i donât know to tell you this but
Con sonido! đđđ
The face of a woman regretting the music lessons.
This is fairly close to the relationship I had with my mom.
i love those little moments where her face lights up because the joy of the joke far outweighs how sick of it she is. like the moment with the star wars music? *chefâs kiss*
They are both clearly having SO much fun, I love this
reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future
I reblog the money pigeon because I love him.
We all love the money pideon
âHow old are Jessie and James?â
alright iâm making a masterpost because iâm so tired. these never get notes. please give this one notes. iâm going to run through every single parroted argument. iâm going to run through every thought anyone engaged in this discourse has ever had. please give me notes. not because i want clout, iâm just so tired. so many of my posts get notes. i would trade them all for this post to get notes.
How old are Team Rocket?
25. Theyâre 25.Â
But I thought they were teenagers? Lots of people have told me theyâre 15/16.
so iâve heard! iâm pleased to tell you exactly where that comes from.
1. this post, for some reason:
i have been on tumblr for 10 years now, and i never saw anyone debating their ages before this post started circulating. as you can tell by the low res memebase screencap, it was screenshotted and reposted all across social media until it became legend.
the ages you see in this bulbapedia screencap were edited. bulbapedia has either omitted their ages entirely, or put them at 25 for reasons weâll discuss at the end of this post.Â
because iâm a petty bitch, i googled the tumblr username of the person who added that bulbapedia screencap, found what their current URL was, and searched team rocketâs names on their blog. hereâs what i discovered.
OP claims it wasnât them who edited the agesâthat they just found it like this. NOT sure i buy that, because I looked into it, and right around the time this post was made (January 8th, 2014) there was a random, unprecedented edit that erroneously put their ages at 15.
this resulted in mods locking the page, because this person was relentless. they would go on team rocketâs pages every day and try to edit the ages back down. again, i canât prove this is the same person, but these edits happened within 24 hours of them adding to that post. this is, in my professional opinion, the biggest shift i ever saw in people talking about team rocketâs ages. but there are other things people bring upâŠ
2. âJessie said she was a teenager!â
she does this sometimes. here are the times she does this.
- In episode 218 of the original series, Plant It Now⊠Diglett Later, the following exchange happens:
This would make Jessie 12. This is a joke. A running gag in the show is younger characters calling Jessie variations on âold lady/old bat/old hag,â and James gets this treatment to a lesser extent. Jessie, however, is incredibly vain and obsessed with youth/beauty, so she often lies to great extent about her age. When Jessie says something like âOh, Iâm 13 years old ;3câ it is meant to carry the same feeling as âArenât I the most gorgeous creature walking this very Earth?â To Jessie, calling her old = calling her ugly. Calling herself young = calling herself beautiful. This trope is common with her particular anime archetypeâit is more of a Japanese thing, so while I understand it being lost on american audiences, it is NOT proof of her age.Â
Right after this, Meowth calls her out on it, asking her where she learned that math, and Jessie angrily threatens him. Itâs a joke.
- In episode 56 of the original series, The Ultimate Test, Jessie is in disguise at a Pokemon League qualification exam. When Ash starts giving her the âshe looks vaguely familiarâ side-eye, she panics and starts muttering information about herself aloud. I will be using the original Japanese line for this one:
This is quoted constantly as proof that Jessie is a teenagerâbut she is blatantly stating false information about herself here because sheâs in disguise and Ash is onto her. This is a false identity sheâs crafted, marked even further by âI work as an idol.â Thatâs an actual profession sheâs talking about, one she doesnât work. Since Japanese Idols werenât widely unknown to westerners at the time of this dub, her dub line is simply âAge: 17. Profession: Diva.â which makes it a little harder to read that sheâs lying about who she is, but she is. The information sheâs stating here is that of an alias. It is not her actual age or profession.
3. You literally just posted a screencap of James saying he should get a driverâs license.Â
Okay, smart guy, thatâs also jokes. The joke isnât that heâs too young to driveâthe joke is that he was a runaway at five years old and had his childhood & all his milestones taken from him because he defected from his abusive family in kindergarten. Also, heâs in the mafia and he just drives his damn balloon everywhere. The joke is that heâs a criminal driving without a license. The joke is breaking the law because heâs James. Its the same as when Jessie will casually say things like âOh, thatâs a good book! Iâve been meaning to shoplift one!â (EP157)
Also, itâs a dub-only line.
âOkay, I guess I see where youâre coming from. But why are you so sure theyâre 25?â
Glad you asked!
You might notice the Bulbapedia article up there says âas of M02.âł M02 is the fandom shorthand for the second pokemon movie: Pokemon the Movie: 2000. Itâs referring to one scene in particular, one that had its dialogue massively changed in the dub. Here, Jessie and James are addressing Ash & co.:
The subber condensed the point of what James/Kojirou actually says hereâhis sentence when translated literally is more like:
Jessie: Youâre ten years too early.
James: And us, your elders, are five years too late.
this is⊠a very Japanese expression, but because Ash & co. are 10 years old, Jessieâs basically saying âYou really donât need to be thinking this deeply about romance until youâre 20.â and James is saying âAnd weâre past our prime at the tender age of 25âŠâ
Some other times this expression has been used, regrettably, is when older men are perving on the female kids in this showâtheyâll say things like âIâll look forward to you in ten years.â Gross, I know, but the point is itâs a thing people say. 20 is considered the age youâre supposed to settle down and marry. 25, especially for women, is considered the age when youâre âoff the marketââyou missed your window and now no one wants you.
That ties back into Jessieâs thing about youth and beauty and how other characters call her an old lady. What theyâre calling her originally is usually some variation on âoba-san.â This term is so widely used in anime that thereâs a TVTropes page on it. An english equivalent would be rolling your eyes and sarcastically uttering âwhatever, grandmaâ or, if you really want me to one-shot kill you, âok boomer.â
Another derogatory term you hear in Japan for this age is âChristmas Cake.â Simply put: Delicious to a point, but no one wants it after the 25th.
Yeah.
âThat line is still super vague. Their ages could still be ambiguous.â
I regret to inform you that I am very autistic and I have prepared timelines and flowcharts for you.
Allow me to introduce you to The Birth of Mewtwo, an audio drama that released alongside the first movie and was never given an english localization. TBOM (the book of mormon) was about Mewtwoâs Origins that werenât expanded upon in the movie. But, in order to get to the bottom of Mewtwo, the story had to get to the bottom of how Team Rocket got their hands on Mewâs DNAâand that all started with a Class-A Rocket Agent known simply as âMiyamoto.â
if you didnât know, sheâs Jessieâs mom.
TBOM is fully translated and available to listen to in multiple parts on youtube. It opens with Giovanni placing it in the timeline:
Twenty years prior to Pokemon: The First Movie, when this radio drama is said to take place. It then goes into a flashback, where we get to see Jessieâs mom in her pursuit of Mew.
Jessieâs already been born by the time of this flashback, meaning, with 100% certainty, that Jessie is at least 20 years old.
As time passes, Miyamoto stays on her quest to find Mew. Lost in the Andes mountains, she never stops sending reports back to Rocket HQ. Every few years, they trickle back in, detailing her progress. She keeps a picture of Jessie with her, often meandering aloud about what she anticipates Jessie is doingâthe milestones Jessie is hitting, the life Jessie might have that her mom was never able to see. The last report she gives says âThe daughter I left behindâs an old hag by nowâŠâ the word she uses here is, again, âobaââ25 years old and unmarried. Again, this is Jessieâs mom. She might be stranded in the mountains with little concept of time, but itâs clear Jessie is the one thing she never truly loses sight of.
âOkay. That sure is a lot of convincing evidence about Jessie. But Team Rocket has another human person in it youâre ignoring.â
Yeah nah I was prepared for that. I actually couldâve just whipped this out at the beginning but I am feeling incredibly spicy so I wanted to lay the law down and not deal with easy arguments about my special interest tonight. Here ya go!
- In episode 87 of the Sun & Moon anime, Filling the Light With Darkness!, Necrozma places an aura across the Alola Region. This blight makes Alolans lethargic, depressed, and unmotivated. This aura also ONLY affects the adults in Alolaâleaving the burden on the kids & pokemon to figure out whatâs going on. Ash & everyone in his classâincluding some who can be argued as teenagersâare entirely unaffected.Â
Of the afflicted?
âAlright, one last questionâŠwhy should I care?â
Because ever since that tumblr post started circulating, itâs been Stressful as all hell to be a Rocketblogger. I know that we all had a lot of fun watching the pokemon anime when we were kids, and we probably all have a lot of shared and fond memories of it. But, weirdly enough, because of that shared joy⊠Pokeani is the only fandom where people who donât even watch the show anymore will try to explain to members of the fandom what our own lore is. And a lot of the time, they wonât listen to us when we correct them on their misinformation.
The reason this matters is because Rocketbloggers still to this day get called pedophiles & perverts for drawing/writing smutty art of our funny bad people. And when we try to shut them down pulling all this evidence out, people who have seen a handful of episodes of the show but understandably donât have the time to watch 1100 episodes will pull the doth protest too much card. Itâs annoying but more than anything, itâs exhausting.
So this is a masterpost I made with my autistic superpowers. I hope that, in the future, this one gets spread around more than the one claiming them to be kids. And I hope that maybe, if youâre a rocketblogger, when someone comes in your inbox trying to explain your favourite anime to you⊠you can quietly link them to this post and no longer have to rehash all the arguments weâve been rehashing for years.
Thank you for reading. Reblog to save a tired Rocketbloggerâs life.
I love when people love things and care about them, pretty much no matter what the things are. But I really want to call out the madness of the fact that the 15-16 rumor at least appears to have been started by some nutjob who was editing a wiki repeatedly to try to support their made-up claim. Thatâs beautiful.