Hello there! @woolaposts - Tumblr Blog

ive caught myself speaking in 3s like rocky (good good good, etc) irl multiple times and often and idk if thats something i already do but didnt pay attention to until now or if rocky is actually rubbing his nasty carapace off on me

capt-sievert

i started doing the "question" thing if that makes you feel less alone

zzoupz

it is literally so addicting its like tone tags if they were awesome, observation

zzoupz

aggressionbread

It sucks that the only way to begin is by beginning

em-the-mushroom815

it's even worse that the only way to learn is by playing and the only way to win is by learning

thats-what-sidhe-said

But the only way to begin is by beginning. So let's begin.

gamechangershow

byjove

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

fromthemouthofkings

age 111: Bilbo Baggins themed birthday party

kaylmao

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

poultrymcgee

i thimk i would swap red and green personally i feel like red onions are more sexy and flirtatious. i sound like tucker carlson re m&ms

hylianane

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

maseratus

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

mousidy

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

mousidy

bisthefairy

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

maightymai

bowsersex

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

bowsersex

Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.