If you were to describe emotions, how would you go about it? Would you liken
them to things you can feel and see, like fire and rain? Would you connect them
to colours and images? Or would you perhaps give up, after seeing that your
words were meaningless, just a string of sounds coming out of your mouth.
I have heard many descriptions of many emotions. I have heard that anger is like
a roaring fire, that starts in the pit of your belly and spreads and unfathomable
amount of heat throughout your being. Does it truly make your blood feel like
fire? Does anger build up in the back of your throat, and make you emit noise
akin to that of the growl?
What about sadness? I have heard that it makes you feel as though you're made
of lead, as if your muscles, your bones, your blood has been replaced by a heavy,
unmoving substance. Does it feel like a fire burning out? Does it feel as though a
torrent of rain is cascading down your body, forcing you down with its weight? Is
sadness like an empty house? Cold, desolate. Does it feel like you're standing in
that freezing house, making you feel small with its vastness?
Can you enlighten me on what happiness is like? Do you really feel as though
your body is lighter, as are you have been filled with helium? It has been
described like a soft, warm fire that fills you with a friendly heat. Lick a golden sun
that shines down with gentle rays that warm up your body pleasantly. Does it feel
like you're being hugged by someone all over? Is happiness like the colour
yellow? Bright, warm and lively?
What of fear? Does it really feel like someone is closing down on your heart the
cold, iron fist? Or is it more like that drop in your stomach when you plummet
from the top of a rollercoaster, stomach where your heart should be, and heart in
your throat. Is your blood replaced by liquid nitrogen? Burning, yet freezing you
at the same time. Does fear feel like you have something stuck in your throat, but
you just can't seem to unlodge?
Sorry, but I must ask, how would you describe love? Does your heart pound, and
your blood rush around in excitement? Or is it more like a fire on a cold winters
night? Love has been described as a wonderful thing that makes you feel
compelled to burst into song. So, is it true? Does love feel like a never-ending
high, a warm hug, or a small burning fire? Is that what love feels like?
I have heard these descriptions over and over, and I must say, I never actually get
bored with them. These feelings sound amazing, and wondrous, The way they
have been worded for me make them sound like a delicious treat I cannot wait to
For all the descriptions I've heard over the years, I wish to return the favour. I may
not be able to describe anger, sadness, happiness, fear or love to you, but I cant
describe what I feel. I have not a name for it, so I call it 'nothing'.
Nothing feels empty, as though all of your, well your everything has been taken
from you. It feels like huge, black, void has swallowed you and you are left to drift
the darkness alone. It leaves you hollow and unmotivated. You could lie around
for days, hunger and thirst becoming non-existent to you, as all you can truly feel
is a hollowness inside. Nothing feels like there is a pitch black cave where your
heart is, or a gaping hold in your heart's wake. That is what nothing feels like.
Did I do good? Did I do well? Did I describe 'nothing' to you in such a way that
you could feel your heart recede into an abyss, leaving a hole in its place? Have
my words, these words, describes nothing adequately?
Even if I didn't describe nothing enough for you, even if you merely humoured
me by listening, I thank you. For you tried so hard to convey what you felt to me,
and I did the same. And now should come to the final answer, and stop trying to
I have listened to you describe every emotion over a thousand times, and you
heard me describe mine once. They both have the same results. We may
describe our emotions to each other however many times we please, and how
ever many ways please, but the conclusion is still the same. What you have is
something I can never have. What I feel is something you will never truly feel. Let
us stop this dance of words and and end this, once and for all.
You feel everything, and I will in ever feel nothing.