gay bitch

[self-healing]

stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.

[ink-splotch]

When I say you were too young to go

I mean the stars had not yet fallen.

I mean there were rivers 

that had not yet carved themselves canyons.

I mean I can count the years you were here. 

When I say you were too young 

I mean there were still stories I never got to tell you.

I mean there were joints in my body then that had not yet ached.

I mean the orchid on my desk has been nothing

but a green stick for weeks but just today it bloomed.

You would care about that but you are not here to tell.

When I say you were too young I mean I was.

I mean I did not want to know that kind of quiet, 

not yet, not sitting there in my fuzzy socks, reading 

a string of texts and truths I did not want to believe in.

I dreamed last week it was a lie. We went out to lunch.

You were skinny and sun brown and sat sideways in your chair. 

I got coffee and you had salad with figs, and then I woke up.

When I say you were too young to go I mean I miss you.

I mean you were a light on this earth. I mean starlight 

comes across millions of light years of vacuum and silence.

I mean when things get big you measure distance in terms of time spent.

I mean the older I get the farther I get from you.

-ejl.

[mamoru]

survive out of spite. survive as a witness. survive as a warning to the future. survive so these stories do not disappear

[quinn-the-human]

I get the point but this also comes off as really ominous and i enjoy that

[mamoru]

survive or else

[softest-archive-deactivated2023]

I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.

[positivepatton]

When you just can’t love yourself, just work on giving yourself basic respect.

When you just can’t practice self care, aim for basic hygiene and keeping yourself alive.

When you just can’t have positive thoughts, focus on ignoring the negative ones.

When you just can’t quit those bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms, be sure to take care of yourself afterwards.

When you just can’t make yourself eat enough, aim for something three times a day, even if it’s something small.

When you just can’t stop binge eating, just do your best to forgive yourself and focus on something else instead of dwelling on it for any longer.

Not everyone is at a point where they can recover, and so thinking about recovery can be intimidating and make them shut down, because they just feel like they’re nowhere close to getting better so they might as well not bother. There needs to be more advice on dragging yourself through the days. Self care to the bare minimum. Aiming for “feeling okay with yourself” or “feeling less awful about yourself” rather than loving yourself. Baby steps.

[niqaeli]

The SINGLE most valuable thing I acquired from my undergrad degree was internalising this: something is better than nothing.

‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good’. ‘Good ‘is often the enemy of ‘done’. Best practices are almost always the enemy of better practices.

I have spent a lot of time in my professional life – in several different fields, actually – trying to convince people to do something. Because something is always better than nothing. Even if it’s a very, very small something. It’s still better.

[i-wrotethisforme]

“Your relationship with yourself is the only one worth going out of your way to preserve. Because sometimes people tell you they’ll always be there for you and a week later they’re telling you to have a nice life. Then you’ll feel stupid about the time you put their feelings over your own when they don’t care about hurting you at all. Someone who actually cares about your happiness will understand if you tell them you have to make a choice for yourself for once. We all need time to think every once in a while. We all feel like we’re having mid life crises in our mid twenties. We all sometimes wish we had a pause button on our lives, or a time machine, or a crystal ball. It’s these times when you need the people you care about to be behind you, not a roadblock in front of you, preventing you from going forward. It’s hard to explain to someone that you love them just as much as ever but you need them to play a different part in your life now. And it’s okay for that person to not understand or to get mad or hurt but it’s not okay for them to try to stop you or sabotage you or try to hurt you back. And it’s definitely not okay for them to guilt you or insult you or tell you you’re wrecking your life because what gives them the authority to know that? Remember that even if other people don’t understand or misinterpret your decisions, they are your decisions. And as long as they’re not illegal or dangerous, those other people don’t get to say whether or not they’re right or wrong. The only person whose opinion should matter is yourself. Make yourself proud. Learn, grow, meet new people, excel at your job, and never turn down an opportunity because someone else tells you to. Nothing is the end of the world because even if everyone leaves, you’ll still have yourself. And you’ll still have endless opportunities to start over and be whoever you want to be, even if you have no idea who that is yet.”

—

[tinybugnotes]

Just thinking about the fact that like… literally, in this very moment, the world is the way it is because you’re here. Think about that. If you weren’t here, the world would be different. And whether you feel significant or not, it’s surreal to really realise… If I wasn’t here, the whole world would change.

Not only that, but people don’t realise their impact on other people’s lives. Isn’t it beautiful to realise that you are a part of someone’s life? The people around you and your friends and loved ones, you are a building block and a piece of their world. You’re an aspect of their life. You may not realise it, but people could drive past you and think about how much they love your hair, or go home that night and tell someone that they served coffee to someone with wonderful manners. It’s really quite beautiful to actually realise that… We’re part of something bigger. We are part of the lives of others. We are all significant, in one way or another.

[c-bassmeow]

“Very young children are not afraid to express what they feel. They are so loving that if they perceive love, they melt into love. They are not afraid to love at all. That is the description of a normal human being. As children we are not afraid of the future or ashamed of the past. Our normal human tendency is to enjoy life, to play, to explore, to be happy, and to love.”

— Don Miguel Ruiz , The Four Agreements  (via cbassquotes)

[stargazerinmoksha]

About loneliness

you know i feel it all of the time, but i don’t really know how to describe it. i guess i could try. i don’t think there’s much of a difference between being surrounded by people that you actually care about, by people that you don’t care about or being completely isolated and alone inside an empty room in front of a small rectangular screen that spits out information to you. when you feel it, you feel it.

sometimes i feel it like a wave of nostalgic memories that i may have missed out on because i was simply too busy and now i regret it

sometimes it feels like a word i’ve long forgotten about because i haven’t said it in so long, or quite possibly, wholeness just simply slipped my mind— that it’s on the tip of my tongue moment, but with more sadness, more numbness

i think a lot of what we may feel comes from a misplaced sense of importance. and maybe it’s not even about being around people or being alone. maybe it’s more complex. maybe it’s something that we’ve buried inside of ourselves, praying to never have to dig it back up. but you feel it clawing and gnawing its way out. i think the best way to deal with those types of things are head on. don’t fear the things in your past, every secret eventually makes itself known. if not to the world, then the universe has known long ago. i think it’s all about understanding. how often do we really open up? maybe you’ve been hurt before and that’s why it’s hard for you to be like that for people.

whenever i feel lonely i like to take walks and listen to my favorite songs. idk, there’s just something so peaceful about letting music run its course. there’s something contentful about just letting life happen, but you have to be careful— you can’t let life happen all of the time, sometimes you have to happen to life.

i find myself feeling a lot better after i’ve had realistic pep talks with myself. it can’t always be sunny weather and clear skies, a little bit of rain can go a long way.

but sometimes it rains for weeks, that’s okay. grab yourself an umbrella and realize that it’s important to be prepared. happiness is not permanent, sadness is not permanent and loneliness sure as hell isn’t

i don’t know you, but hopefully you know yourself better than i do. you have to sit down and really ask yourself what’s wrong? i can only do so much with a few words on a screen. you have to have patience for yourself. it takes time to find out where you need to be build to feel whole.

maybe loneliness is felt because you’re missing out on life. maybe you’re missing someone. maybe you missed out on an opportunity to turn your life around. maybe you didn’t get her number. maybe you didn’t get a chance to talk to him one last time. maybe it ended badly and you never got over it. maybe you’re afraid to accept the truth. it only matters about now.

sometimes you have to be your only friend, drag yourself out into the sun, take yourself out for that new movie, write yourself a healthy poem, write down all of your happy spots and visit them all in one day

i think the secret to life is different for everyone, the cure to loneliness can also be a pain to find. i think i’m still looking, but sometimes when i see her smile, i feel less alone and yeah i haven’t seen her in a few months, but maybe that’s what you need. a true connection. maybe to yourself. to others. to a pet. to mother nature. you have to keep looking, there’s always a better way to go about things when you don’t feel up for the task.

i think on my most fulfilled days, i had a balance between being surrounded by people that i love and doing things that really made me smile. how long has it been since you’ve done that?

don’t let another day go by wasted, we only have so much, ya know?

[inahiddenplace]

be open with your love and loud with your laughter. life is so much brighter when lived genuinely.

[parentless-suggestions]

Someday I will have my own place. My world won’t be confined to my room. I will stumble sleepily through the house in the morning, opening the blinds. I will sit out in the backyard and look at the stars. I will go out whenever I want to. I will survive long enough to have that.

[wolverineheight]

hey controversial opinion but clean water should be fucking free and people should never be allowed to make money off of it because its fucking needed to live

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.

[sandersstudies]

Before self love you have to invoke self tolerance and self neutrality.

[sandersstudies]

If you can’t say “I love my body!” say “my body gets me from place to place.”

If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind barista down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s fan fictions.”

[einstetic]

reasons to live: spring edition

the days are getting longer and you can feel new energy building up inside of you

the green is getting greener

the first serenade performed by the birds when the sun hits their nests

when the sun hits your own face and you can feel the warmth of the sunrays

life adding splashes of colour to your surrouding when the flowers are starting to grow

the people around you are getting happier

the feeling of wearing sneakers after months of awkward boots

the joyful laughter from children who finally feel brave enough to face the world after a long period of darkness

the smell of spring

you can open your windows and let the air freshen up your house

the first bees and butterflies venture forth

your mind is clearer and you thoughts are brighter

seeing the spring rain through the rays of sun

you know summer is getting closer

[lesbianboboberens]

frankly? ban all plastics. require all public buildings to be solar powered. public community gardens in every neighborhood. ban all pesticides. ban fossil fuels. put wind turbines on every sky scraper. gardens on every rooftop. tax cars and fund public transportation. build bike lanes across every city. train/railroad infrastructure across the country (tear down highways). every state mandated to have a certain percentage of land be a wildlife preserve. local/organic farms get huge tax breaks. raise the minimum wage. aquaponics farms in every city. every family has chickens in their backyard. community composting. jeff bezos’s body for fertilizer. i have a clear idea of what i want the world to look like and i want it now. hire me

[vomitingwords]

I hope we never run out of time. I hope we will never say it’s too late to chase our dreams and love ourselves in each passing moment. I hope we’ll choose what’s best for us, no matter how confusing it might become. I hope our soul lives fully, so we won’t regret not having so much time.

One Thousandth of a Second//ma.c.a

[omgthatdress]

Putting these up for anyone who needs them today.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Why Does he DO That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

[superopinionated]

Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.

So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.

And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.

[omgthatdress]

^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is

[kithnkin]

Also recommending

[swampseer]

Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.

[heysawbones]

Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.

[robotsandfrippary]

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family.  It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors. 

[anna-mator]

A gentle reminder that I have Toxic Parents as a FREE PDF if you would like to download it and read it on your own. Take care of yourselves.

[heavyweightheart]

All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here

[naamahdarling]

Jesus Christ, the codependency checklist in Toxic Parents…WOW, I’ve been through that.

[naamahdarling]

Hooo damn.

Children need to make mistakes and discover that it’s not the end of the world. That’s how they gain the confidence to try new things in life.Toxic parents impose unobtainable goals, impossible expectations, and ever-changing rules on their children. They expect their children to respond with a degree of maturity that can come only from life experiences that are inaccessible to a child. Children are not miniature adults, but toxic parents expect them to act as if they are.

Someone go back and write this on a brick and throw it at my mother, please.