a collection of my favorite posts

[dknightlight]

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[viralfrog]

[dragongirlbunny]

[doctorglasgowart]

Every day at the Steven Universe office.

[steven-universe-heritage-posts]

MAKE IT GAYERR

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[tatangadragon]

water sports should be for adults too.me and the blokes at university should be allowed to shoot eachother with water guns

[tatangadragon]

post cancelled I've been told the term i used already exists in english and that it means something Very Much Different. english is a wicked language that i regret learning

[evilwizard]

*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism

[chromegnomes]

only if it's actually wise. the last guy who asked me this had a pretty foolish aphorism tbh

[evilwizard]

oh… uhuh… *really should have prepared this ahead of time* never ignore… the melody of time… when your shoe’s untied?

[chromegnomes]

*considers this aphorism sagely, sipping my horrible and bitter potion*

yes. there is wisdom in this. he whose shoes are untied must carefully mind the rhythm of his steps. bartender, another Wretched Potion, for my comrade here

[evilwizard]

*to self* holy shit… my aphorism… it’s wise!

[decaffynated]

I were inspired

[shittymoviedetails]

The beach that makes you old

[powerjock]

I can never seem to find her, but she always finds me

[yixiqu]

good save jon

[ixa193]

[stromcuzewon]

this is probably my favorite tiktok of all time and I finally got around to showing it to my dad the other day and now he comes home every day and tells me about all the places he saw crumbling concrete and says "guess they didn't add enough chinchilla flakes"

[thatdisasterauthor]

My dad has worked in construction is whole life, primarily with a company that does concrete foundations, and I immediately sent him this back when I first found it on TikTok, and he IMMEDIATELY shared it with everyone he worked with. They apparently still quote it on his job sites to this day.

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[the-problematic-trolley]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[gg-is-a-loser]

wobbuffet

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

Pika

[knightofleo]

"Candy Hearts" by Tommy Siegel

[knightofleo]

[the-big-mood]

In 1997, local television in Kharkiv accidentally filmed one of the most iconic rave moments in history.

[ruinedchildhood]

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[orcboxer]

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

[queenofwerewolves]

Sou eeeeeeu seu anjinho da guarda oiiiii 😇 entao🙏 tipo. em uns seis meses, voce vai morrer de fome. 🥺 e se eu nao te proteger, eu vou ser: #demitida! 🫢 e isso Nao É Bom 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Entao. 🙏 dei uma pesquisada nos fatores da fome, e pelo jeito: Sua morte é totalmente evitavel! 😯 iiiih! 😆 Tem mais que o bastante de comida para nao inteferir na sobrevivencia dos outros, mas voce nao é permitido! 🤨 Queeeee? 🤷‍♀️ Aparentemente, sua morte é premeditado por milhares de coisas chamados "acionistas" Entao. 🙏 Eu estive matando pessoas,

[lammaspoika]

Mää tässä oon sun suojelusenkeli moikkuu 😇 okei 🙏 elikkäs. kuuden kuukauden sisällä sä näännyt nälkään. 🥺 ja jos mä en suojele sua, saan: #potkut! 🫢 ja se on Huono Juttu 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Eli. 🙏 kattelin mikä aiheuttaa nääntymistä, ja kävi ilmi: Sun kuoleman pystyy estää! 😯 O-ou! 😆On ihan tarpeeks ruokaa elättääkseen sut ilman et se haittaa kenenkään muun selviytymistä, mut sä et saa ottaa sitä! 🤨 Mitäää? 🤷‍♀️ Ilmeisesti sun kuolema on tuhansien semmosten juttujen ku "osakkeenomistajien" suunnittelema. Elikkä. 🙏 Oon tappanu ihmisiä,

[bakersfield-row]

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

[shaddy-bee]

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[cthoseris]

[yellow-cat]

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

[hamblimp]

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

[yellow-cat]

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

[yellow-cat]

HEY !!!!

[endlace]

the horse when asked what he would like for dinner

[yellow-cat]

put a bullet in me already why dont you

[yellow-cat]

hold on. everyone shut up. i need to cry about the concept of a touch-starved gun