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Andulka
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One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
@theartofmadeline
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@7randomwords
Screaming crying laughing still WEEKS after this meme was made for me by @7randomwords and @r3idth3r00m
I've sent it to so many people in my real life but forgot to upload it to my Tumblr until now 🙂↕️
I'm planning to have the next chapter written by tonight or tomorrow at the latest ✨
https://archiveofourown.org/works/74687251/chapters/195060441
Keep watching for updates on the podcast by @r3idth3r00m and I.
do you think show Ilya dirt talked to shane about taking his virginity? I bet he did and was filthy about it, making sure it was still the case, that shane was PURE and he would always belong to Ilya on some level even if they never fucked again because anytime shane fucked anyone else he would always be thinking about Ilya, comparing everything to that first time……………ahh!
In my Mind Palace ilya was fucking obsessed with this. He reminds Shane constantly that he took his virginity and no one will give it to him like he does (which of course in book canon ilya does say “I’ve ruined you, no one else will do” like that man Knows what he’s done). ilya Does have a corruption kink, and he Does think it is so fucking hot that he’s never been fucked before him.
I think in 1221 he was talking so dirty to Shane about it after his little freak out to try and talk him down and soothe him. “Don’t you want me to? Don’t you want me to be the first one to fuck you? Give you all the firsts that matter? You want to feel my big cock breaking you open? Popping your little cherry, Hollander? I know you want that. You’re so desperate for me already. Tell me I can. Tell me you’ll let me fuck you first. I need it so bad, I want it. Give it to me.”
And Shane comes so hard that he almost caves and lets him do it so he can get a second round in with ilya because he doesn’t want him to LEAVE. Screw Scott Hunter being next door. How is he supposed to turn down Ilya Rozanov when he’s talking to him like that????
hey. h-hheeeyyy. hey.
I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?
Don't become a housewife.
And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.
If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.
also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can
going to be so awkward when s2 heated rivalry press brings up the plot point of shane’s restrictive diet and hudson and connor have to pretend they’re not doing a turbo version of it in real life
We don’t talk about this enough. With all the big romantic gestures in The Long Game, this, to me, is one of the most romantic moments.
We know Ilya isn’t a fan of Shane’s restrictive diet. He teases him about it, but Ilya is an expert ragebaiter who knows how to tease the people he cares about when they feel safe and in ways that never really hurt.
Shane is “frantic” in this scene. Ilya has the perfect opening to say something about his diet, and he doesn’t take it. He sees that Shane is panicking, steps in and fixes it. He was looking at that menu thinking about Shane and Shane’s fuckass diet that Ilya doesn’t even like. But he knows this is important to Shane. He knows Shane is already nervous about being on a date with Ilya in public and being with another queer couple. So he meets Shane’s needs without Shane ever having to ask, and he does it quietly, without drawing any attention, so that Shane can save face.
Of course he’s gonna tease him about it a little bit later because that’s what they do. But he only does that AFTER Shane’s had a chance to catch his breath and feel safe again.
To be loved is to be known indeed.
#there's tpe in the source text#we're not crazy#it's right there#hr.kink#tpe#hollanov#hr.txt
#big tpe vibes here ngl…#the high highs and low lows of rr’s writing#reblog#hr
in addition to these excellent tags i will add: this is the beauty of tpe for them right on the page. because shane is looking for the most restrictive option. he's only gonna have a salad.
when ilya chooses for him, he chooses a very balanced meal, something much more likely to meet the nutritional needs of a serious athlete (and not nothing but there's even simple carbs in there!) he makes a choice for shane that is better than the choice shane was going to make for himself. but he also chooses something that is okay with shane, that he knows will make him feel safe, that's within his limits. and shane can allow himself to be taken care of because it's ilya's choice, but ilya wouldn't make a choice that would genuinely distress shane even if i bet ilya would rather shane eat a burger and fries
everyone say thank you bdsm
imagine ilya’s delight and shock seeing how much shane loves taking cock. watching him discover that. man was astonished
and sweetie shaney had no idea he would love it so much ”holy shit, rozy” he was so shocked!!!!!
shane realizing ilya isn’t doing well because he bent down to pick something up and ilya didn’t say or do anything; “ilya baby you are not okay” “what shane i’m fine” “ilya i bent over and you didn’t say or do anything” “…” “and im wearing glasses” “…” “…” “i will go call galina” “thank you baby”
Ilya 'tornado blowjob' Rozanov (via intergalacticmca)
What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?
When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.
Shout out to my mom who explains my transition as "Having a daughterpillar turn into a Boyterfly". It doesn't erase the fact I was an adorable little girl, and also affirms my gender now. I love my mother.
Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved
Yuna always calls Shane her favorite mother's day gift, because his birthday occasionally falls on mother's day. When Ilya joins the family, and they learn his birthday is close to father's day, David starts calling Ilya his favorite father's day gift. Shane is insulted because he bought David a trip to Iceland last year.
i really am tickled by the idea of scott hunter being canonically only 3 yrs older than ilya and catching stray after stray for being old. yet also in my mind cliff is fully in his mid 30s when ilya is a rookie and whenever they get drunk together cliff gets emotional and is like “do you think im washed lil bro…..” and ilya is like “NO are you kidding me……you are stud…..just now in your prime…..”
I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.
It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.
This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?
“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”
And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.
So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.
Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)
And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.
So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.
Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind
i'm not joking when i say ilya admitting to shane that he looked up compatible was one of the bravest things ever. shane also asking for ilya's room number was so brave too. i love them
I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do
