10/10 dad joke
I'll take "sentences you would only hear on tumblr" for $200, Alex.

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10/10 dad joke
I'll take "sentences you would only hear on tumblr" for $200, Alex.
âi also choose this guyâs dead wifeâ was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.
you can know the punchline but you canât stop it from punching you.
i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.
unsung benefit i think a lot of ppl are sleeping on with using the public library is that i think its a great replacement for the dopamine hit some ppl get from online shopping. it kind of fills that niche of reserving something that you then get to anticipate the arrival of and enjoy when it arrives, but without like, the waste and the money.
bonus it ALSO fills that dopamine hit of in-person shopping. âoh I didnât go in looking for this but hmm, Iâm tempted⊠I canât resist⊠oh ho ho I have made some irresponsible decisions at the library today [carrying my stack of ten random books]â and then it doesnât even matter if you donât like them because a) free b) youâre gonna give them back anyway
Librarian here! Please please please please PLEASE do this! We donât have any way to know if you read them, and we donât care! Weâre happy to see those books go out because that helps our stats. And that affects how much money we can get.
So grab that silly paperback romance, and maybe this new YA fantasy, oh and check for the new movies too! And donât forget to check Libby and hoopla for music and ebooks and e-audio.
well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.
do not 10k me stop that
*clicks reblog* your old friend, the conses of your quences, sends their regards
if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stickâŠsome people like driving automaticâŠwhat matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people
he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women
If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."
oh ok
âWhy would you stop in hell?â has changed my brain chemistry
likes to charge, reblogs to cast
#iâd rather he physically get sliced in half. but this is kind of nice
Here's a fun story of malicious compliance to brighten your day:
Until recently, a few people in my office had these desk shades to combat the obnoxious fluorescent lights, which is very helpful for people (like me) with migraines or other light-sensitivity issues.
A few days ago, everyone who has them was told to take them down. Different people were given different reasons - It violates fire code (it doesn't) / It blocks line of sight (sort of?). Since this goes against the existing status quo, the union reps (my beloved) jumped on it. Someone jokingly suggested using umbrella hats instead, since hats are allowed in the dress code. Today, the union reps are passing out these ridiculous things in protest:
If the rules are absurd, the resistance should match.
Abolish Tesla.
Elon uses his overvalued Tesla stock as collateral for all his loans.
If the stock price crashes, banks will ask for their money back.
The Twitter deal alone would break him - twitter has tanked in value, he couldn't sell it to pay off his loans.
Please, oh please. Not just well deserved karma, it would be so fucking funny.
Greetings bugs and worms!
This comic is a little different than what I usually do but I worked real hard on itâMaybe I'll make more infographic stuff in the future this ended up being fun. Hope you learned something new :)
If you are still curious and want to learn more about OCD, you can visit the International OCD Foundation's website. I also recommend this amazing TED ED video "Starving The Monster", which was my first introduction to the disorder and this video by John Green about his own experience with OCD.
The IOCDF's website can also help you find support groups, therapy, and has lots of online guides and resources as well if you or a loved one is struggling with the disorder. It is very comprehensive!
Reblog to teach your followers about OCD
(But also not reblogging doesn't make you evil, silly goose)
Genius
I love it when pets do the thing where they've clearly figured out that certain steps result in an outcome, but they can't quite DO it themselves.
The cat understands that their food is in this container, and that their human gets it, and brings it to the dishes, and then there's food.
But having no thumbs has prevented them from their triumph.
I on the other hand love that he insists on using the bowl even though he could probably just rip/chew a hole in the bag.
Which indicates that he's probably not quite sure WHICH of the steps are crucial so he's earnestly repeating them all.
(kids do this too - it's called overimitation and there are experiments on it.)
An attempt was made.
MANIFESTING
can you guys watch my squab for me im gonna go on my smoko
baby need smoko
BABY DOES NOT NEED SMOKO
hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)
why were you at mad at me island
DEPOPULATING IT
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now iâm thinkingâŠ.maybe this is the good luck post
âŠ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i need all the help i can get for finals
Hey so
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.Â
So you know.Â
This might be the real one, yâall.
the one thing thing funnier than this caption is that the only reason they stopped doing it was that the ferret shit in the tube
That photo makes Feliciaâs work seem much more recent than it is. Hereâs a picture of the worldâs smallest particle physicist herself.
They didnât stop because she shit in the tube - she had a diaper on because they knew poop would obstruct the particles as well. She eventually stopped running through the tubes because they became too long for her. At that point she was retired and became a pet!
I love her
working weasel
Women in stem
I love birdwatchers theyâre like âI just saw my ALL TIME FAVORITE BIRD SPECIES! Iâve always dreamed of seeing one in the wild! I am ECSTATIC!â and itâs the most boring looking little brown bird youâve ever seen.
And Iâm watching the video like âwhoaaaa whatâs it going to be! woodpecker? red-headed woodpecker? eastern whip-poor-will? northern mockingbird? itâs a Bachman's sparrow? oh, okay. neat.â
I feel like I need to show you a Bachmanâs sparrow for this post to truly land.
Oooooh the most bird ever.
omg this is so me my favourite bird is the short-toed treecreeper and.
like. yea...
Iâm sorry to admit this and I would never do it in real life because I have an immense respect for wildlife and specifically the delicate nature of birds. That is the most grabbable animal I have ever seen. It looks free for the taking.