told my brother that if he ever let me name a daughter of his I’d call her Denise and he was like “ok?” And then I told him if he ever let me name a son I’d call him “denephew” and he thinks I’m the funniest person ever now

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JVL

Discoholic 🪩

★
d e v o n

if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Game of Thrones Daily

Janaina Medeiros
tumblr dot com
Show & Tell

shark vs the universe

Andulka

⁂
taylor price
h

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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

pixel skylines
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@abandonedchewtoys
told my brother that if he ever let me name a daughter of his I’d call her Denise and he was like “ok?” And then I told him if he ever let me name a son I’d call him “denephew” and he thinks I’m the funniest person ever now
Okay, another little lesson for fic writers since I see it come up sometimes in fics: wine in restaurants.
When you buy a bottle of wine in a (nicer) restaurant, generally (please note my emphasis there, this is a generalization for most restaurants, but not all restaurants, especially non-US ones) you may see a waiter do a few things when they bring you the bottle.
The waiter presents the bottle to the person who ordered it
The waiter uncorks the bottle in order to serve it
The waiter hands the cork to the person who ordered the bottle
The waiter pours a small portion of the wine (barely a splash) and waits for the person who ordered it to taste it
The waiter then pours glasses for everyone else at the table, and then returns to fill up the initial taster's glass
Now, you might be thinking -- that's all pretty obvious, right? They're bringing you what you ordered, making sure you liked it, and then pouring it for the group. Wrong. It's actually a little bit more complicated than that.
The waiter presents the bottle to the person who ordered it so that they can inspect the label and vintage and make sure it's the bottle they actually ordered off the menu
The waiter uncorks the bottle so that the table can see it was unopened before this moment (i.e., not another wine they poured into an empty bottle) and well-sealed
The waiter hands the cork to the person who ordered the bottle so that they can inspect the label on the cork and determine if it matches up; they can also smell/feel the cork to see if there is any dergradation or mold that might impact the wine itself
The waiter pours a small portion for the person who ordered to taste NOT to see if they liked it -- that's a common misconception. Yes, sometimes when house wine is served by the glass, waiters will pour a portion for people to taste and agree to. But when you order a bottle, the taste isn't for approval -- you've already bought the bottle at this point! You don't get to refuse it if you don't like it. Rather, the tasting is to determine if the wine is "corked", a term that refers to when a wine is contaminated by TCA, a chemical compound that causes a specific taste/flavor. TCA can be caused by mold in corks, and is one of the only reasons you can (generally) refuse a bottle of wine you have already purchased. Most people can taste or smell TCA if they are trained for it; other people might drink the wine for a few minutes before noticing a damp, basement-like smell on the aftertaste. Once you've tasted it, you'll remember it. That first sip is your opportunity to take one for the table and save them from a possibly corked bottle of wine, which is absolutely no fun.
If you've sipped the wine (I generally smell it, I've found it's easier to smell than taste) and determined that it is safe, you then nod to your waiter. The waiter will then pour glasses for everyone else at the table. If the wine is corked, you would refuse the bottle and ask the waiter for a new bottle. If there is no new bottle, you'll either get a refund or they'll ask you to choose another option on their wine list. A good restaurant will understand that corked bottles happen randomly, and will leap at the opportunity to replace it; a bad restaurant or a restaurant with poor training will sometimes try to argue with you about whether or not it's corked. Again, it can be a subtle, subjective taste, so proceed carefully.
In restaurants, this process can happen very quickly! It's elegant and practiced. The waiter will generally uncork the bottle without setting the bottle down or bracing it against themselves. They will remove the cork without breaking it, and they will pour the wine without dripping it down the label or on the table.
random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"
Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet
Ho oh
I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure
Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?
In the kindest way possible, fuck you
Talent show entries are limited to five minutes in length, which is enough time to summon a demon but not dismiss it. But I guess that's the next person's problem
an absolute travesty this Simpsons clip isn't on YouTube in full by itself because I would fight for the honor of it being one of the best jokes in the entire show
Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.
Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.
(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)
Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.
All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.
I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.
Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.
And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.
Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.
I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.
Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.
No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a respondibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.
They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.
This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.
In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.
At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.
I think the least we can do is remember them for it.
wow okay i’m crying now
“And even as he watched the rescue unfolding that morning, he would have understood that for the living, everything which could have been done had been done: not a single survivor was lost or injured being brought aboard the Carpathia. For those who had gone down with the Titanic, save for reverencing their memory at the service later that day, there was nothing more that he or anyone could do. Rostron’s duty now was as he always saw it: to the living.”
I looked up a bit about this because the post is so movingly written that when I read it aloud to my husband and mother they both wept like babies, and something else really struck me about this story.
So Carpathia was not a top-end luxury liner. Her reputation was for being Jolly Comfortable - she was very broad in her proportions, and not super-duper fast, and the result was that she didn’t rock so much on the waves and you couldn’t particularly hear/feel the engines. She was solid and dependable, and lots of people liked using her, but she therefore occupied a lesser niche than Titanic or Olympian or whatever - and crucially, as a result of that, she only had one radio operator on board. This means she only had radio ops for a certain window in the day, unlike Titanic, which had 24 hour radio ops.
So on that night, when Titanic went down, Carpathia’s wireless operator - one Harold Cottam - clocked off his shift at midnight, and went to bed. While he was getting ready for bed, though, he left the transmitter on for the hell of it, and therefore picked up a transmission from Cape Race in Newfoundland, the closest transmitting tower sending messages to the ships. They told him that they had a backlog of private traffic for Titanic that wasn’t getting through. So, even though his shift was over, and it was now 11 minutes past bloody midnight, and he just wanted to go to bed, Harold Cottam decided that nonetheless, he’d be helpful, and let the Titanic know they had messages waiting.
And that’s how he received the Titanic’s distress signal. In spite of no longer being on shift to receive it, and therefore in order to send Carpathia galloping to Titanic’s rescue, and thus saving 705 people.
All because Harold Cottam decided one night to be kind.
I dunno. That’s just really stuck with me.
Cottam also ended up staying awake for something like 48 hours straight trying to send survivors messages and a list of survivors home, but due to Carpathia’s limited radio frequency range and with no other ships to act as a relay, this was rather patchy. However, he tried his damn best to make sure the survivor’s messages got home, and was also bombarded with incoming messages of bribes to spill the details of the disaster to the press.
Rostrum had ordered that no messages to the press be sent out of respect to the survivors, for they would have their privacy destroyed as soon as they reached New York. Cottam respected this order, even under extreme duress of fatigue, stress, and the knowledge that in some cases the bribes were almost three times his annual salary.
He eventually went to bed but not before working with one of the rescued Titanic’s radio operators, Harold Bride, to transmit as many messages as possible. Bride was injured (his feet had been crushed in a lifeboat) and had just passed the body of the second of Titanic’s radio operators aboard (Jack Phillips), so neither of them were really in the best shape to keep working, but they did.
In the face of extreme adversity, both men refused to do anything but their duty (and exceeding their duty) not just because Rostrum had ordered it, but because it was the right thing to do. They could have profited considerably from the disaster and they refused for the dignity of the survivors.
This is hopepunk. This is what we can be, what we are, when instinct takes over. This is what we are when we choose to care about each other. We’re not profit machines or units of production or lone fierce wolves in a bitter wilderness. We are people, and we care about people.
This is human nature. Don’t give up on it.
Hopepunk is best punk.
this always leaves me sobbing. fuck.
I wrote a post a couple of years ago, wondering why there hadn’t been a documentary or docu-drama about the ‘Carpathia’ rescue run.
There are probably sound reasons why not, one of which is probably that getting yet another ‘Titanic’ project greenlit is far easier - name recognition, pre-sold property, multiple conspiracy theories to play with (all discredited, but when did that stop the “History” Channel?)
Here are a couple of stories about ‘Carpathia’:
As @mylordshesacactus has already said, her boilers and engines were rated for no more than 14 knots and, when she managed 17.5 for the only time in her life it’s said (I hate the phrase but I have to use it) that the Chief Engineer hung his hat over the main pressure gauge so no-one - including himself - could see how far its needle was into the red.
Captain Rostron, a religious man, was seen on several occasions standing privately on the exposed bridge wing with his own hat raised and his mouth moving in silent prayer, and when daylight revealed the extent of the ice-field his ship had passed without harm, he only said “There must have been another Hand on the wheel than mine…”
There’s another problem-of-sorts about a screenplay set aboard ‘Carpathia’ - an astonishing lack of that easy dramatic tool, conflict. Captain Rostron decided he was going to the ‘Titanic’s assistance, and that was that. AFAIK not a single passenger or crewman - not one - questioned the wisdom of his decision either then or afterwards, even when…
…‘Carpathia’ headed at more than full speed, in the dark, through dangerous waters where an iceberg had apparently just sunk an “unsinkable” ship.
It’s easier to write - and sell - a story about pride, arrogance, stupidity, rich against poor and lives lost through hubris, than it is to write one about people who rallied round and did the right thing at the right time, not for reward but because it was the right thing to do.
Here’s Rostron and his officers…
…the ‘Carpathia’ stewards and cabin crew….
…some of her passengers…
…and some of the people they helped.
I will always reblog one of the few posts to GUARANTEE leaving me in an ugly sobbing heartfelt mess.
Godspeed Carpathia and your crew, your memories live on.
my name is detective sleeping and im about to get started on my toughest case yet. the pillow case
hey have you guys met my swiss nb friend Yodel, they/he, who -
Density map of stars on national flags
Me vision when I get bump on me noggin
i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
Pokemon Heritage Post
are you familiar with Articuno, the legendary Pokémon that’s a combination Ice-type and Flying-type? well, this is the end of the pointy crest thing at the top of its head.
and that’s just the tip of the ice bird…
Pokemon Heritage Post
all quiet in a western font
loving all the pain and resignation this is causing, judging from the notes
Good news everyone I have accidentally discovered the stupidest fucking conceivable way to make myself to do chores
It goes like this…..
-
My car: *low gas light on*
Me: I mean, I COULD stop at the gas station on the way home… OR! I could just NOT do that and deal with it tomorrow
Me: but what if I get stuck in a time loop starting tomorrow and every day I wake up and my car is on empty that would be so annoying
Me: uggghhh FINE I will stop at the gas station.
****LATER THIS EVENING:****
My sink: *has all my bowls and tea mugs in it*
Me: okay I don't actually care about this problem for tonight I am not planning on eating soup or tea
Me: …yeah but if i do end up being stuck in a time loop starting tomorrow it is going to SUCK to have only dirty tea cups in the morning forever
Me: uuuuughhhh okay clean sink it is
-
I hate this. My brain must have an extremely low opinion of me to even try it, and it worked.
But hey, I don't have to try to remember to leave 5 min early tomorrow for a gas run?
The Groundhog principle: I’ll jump through the hoops to alleviate the loop.
After revisiting the Phantom Menace during its 25th anniversary, I should probably actually sit down to watch the new ones I didn't see. But I kept stopping and doing something else last time I tried.
So I had the Rey Palpatine thing spoiled, like, immediately after that movie dropped, and we had people fanwanking over who she should really be descended from. You know, a secret actual Skywalker or Kenobi blah blah.
But I think the funniest character would be General Maximilian Veers.
Remember this guy?
First of all, the character didn't die on screen and the actor is still alive. You may have last seen Julian Glover as Maester Pycelle on Game of Thrones.
And on one level, it's just for the bit. You thought it would be one of the major players in the narrative, but it's just this guy.
And Rey like, fumbling around with the idea, like, "really? This guy? He's not even a force-user."
And then he pulls out his card from the Decipher Star Wars CCG, the highest level of canon, and reveals that he's force-attuned, the same Ability score as Leia Organa (premier), so fuck you.
But then I started thinking about it, and, huh.
Veers is super-competent (I think he's the only Imperial officer who got an unmitigated, no asterisk win against the Rebels on screen with no comeuppance), mechanically inclined, and works on these outer-rim middle-of-nowhere ground campaigns. Star Wars operates on a kind of supergenetic determinism where you will keep doing the same things and meeting the same robots as your parents. And maybe it's just my face blindness, but Daisy Ridley passes as a granddaughter of Julian Glover. Very similar facial structure, wide mouth, grey-brown eyes.
And, I don't know, there's maybe something to the idea of the retired Nazi grandpa archetype showing up in Star Wars. That's hasn't been done on screen and that might be interesting to see, especially with an Ex-Stormtrooper and this First Order and this Final Order thing (I genuinely can't figure out how connected and contiguous these groups are, and I am not reading a Chuck Wendig book).
Maybe he could be retired and in hiding from the New Republic in like a space jumper and cabbie hat, and going out to find his granddaughter after it fell. Is he a staunch loyalist or repentant? How does he view the First Order? Or does he come out of hiding hearing that (somehow) Palpatine returned? Maybe he could replace General Pride as the member of the First Order who is secretly working directly for Palpatine, since it's plausible that they knew each other.
*inhales*
*gently sets phone on counter*
*walks away*
comes back with a sledgehammer*
*breaks phone*
I, on the other hand, immediately hit the reblog button.
I'm pretty sure that's prancing, because it's camp.