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Peter: Yeah! And that guys just showed up out of the boo-

Tony: Blue. It’s out of the blue.

Peter: [scoffs] Who are you? Eye-stein?

Tony:

Tony: Is this about me?

Steve: No it’s-

Tony: then I’m not interested

Steve: You always see the worst in people

Tony: yeah because people are the worst

Tony: I wasn’t hurt that bad

Steve: The doctor said you had internal bleeding!

Tony: but that’s where blood is supposed to be!

Tony: Surgery is just stabbing people to life

Stephen: please never become a surgeon

Tony: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you <3

Steve: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

Tony: absolutely not

#tony stark #steve rogers #incorrect stevetony #stony #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #incorrect tony stark #incorrect steve rogers #incorrect mcu #avengers #incorrect quote #iron man #captain america #anthony edward stark #steven grant rogers #steve x tony

I don’t have a degrading kink but when it comes to Helmut Zemo I’m open to change

#this user is down bad #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #funny #lol #daniel bruhl #zemo #marvel zemo #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #captain america and the white wolf #captain america and the winter soldier #baron zemo #helmut zemo

Steve: Truth or dare?

Tony: Truth

Steve: How many hours have you slept this week?

Tony:

Tony:...Dare

Steve: Go to bed

Tony: I don’t like this game anymore

Interviewer: What’s your biggest weakness?

Tony: I can be uncooperative at times

Interviewer: Can you give me an example?

Tony: no

#get it #tony stark #iron man #anthony edward stark #incorrect tony stark #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #incorrect quote #funny #lol #incorrect marvel quote

Steve: Quick, what’s your type!

Tony: Blond hair, blue eyes, body shaped like a dorito is always a plus-

Steve, desperately as Tony bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tony: B positive

Steve: DON’T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

#i love these dumbasses your honour #tony stark #steve rogers #stevetony #stony #incorrect stony #incorrect stevetony #incorrect tony stark #incorrect steve rogers #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #avengers #steve x tony

Tony: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety, I'll wait

Steve: You and me :]

Tony, tearing up: oh. okay.

Interviewer: What’s the first thing you notice when someone approaches you?

Tony: the audacity

#me if i was a millionaire #tony stark #my beloved <333 #anthony edward stark #iron man #incorrect tony stark #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #incorrect quote #incorrect marvel quote #funny #lol

Peter: Am I in trouble?

Tony: Take a guess

Peter: No...?

Tony: Take another guess

#me when I ask myself if I’ve done hw at 2am yet #Peter Parker #Tony Stark #irondad #spiderson #incorrect tony stark #incorrect peter parker #incorrect irondad #incorrect spiderson #iron man #spider man #incorrect quote #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

Peter: What do you call call a fish with no eye?

Tony, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Peter:

Peter: fsh

Tony: Welcome, idiots

Peter: Hey Mr Stark

Tony: No, not you, Peter, you’re not an idiot

Peter: you underestimate me

Tony: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of my life

Steve: I get up at 5 am every day

Tony: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of my life

Steve: Hey, what’s for dinner?

Tony, staring at the burnt pile of “food” before him: regret

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