[shamebats]

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[dogpuppy]

[boifujo]

(illustration by Harold Speakman)

[dogfella-deactivated20150228]

yelling hard enough triggers my gag reflex

[kochamchleb]

I cannot believe I get to see this video again 

[thememedaddy]

[juicydangler]

shut up this is adorable

[macheesmo]

[whereserpentswalk]

[ahasiw-okitowin]

[saturnisfilledwithbees]

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

[saturnisfilledwithbees]

To flesh this out a little bit more: both Megan Thee Stallion and Hozier write and sing really sexual songs, but they’re different in that Hozier’s music is typically “let me worship you” while Megan’s is usually “I’m worshipping myself,” which makes all the difference because it’s an acceptance of power rather than the giving of it. He’s the sinner, she’s the saint. However, taking their difference in genres out of it, people don’t usually seem to take Megan Thee Stallion’s music seriously in comparison to Hozier because a) her lyrics are more overtly and blatantly sexual and b)she’s claiming her sexuality for herself, and that scares a lot of people. The secret, no-one-wants-to-talk-about reason is that she’s a confident black woman, which terrifies people way than sex does. In conclusion, Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion are two sides of the same poetic, sexual coin, but people just don’t want to admit it. Which is WHY a collaboration between Hozier and Megan would be so powerful that it would change the timeline as we know it yes I will elaborate 

[vendal-construct]

We Do Not Like The Concrete Tomb.

[vendal-construct]

This is our most popular post and we've seen more than one person tag it as "unreality." We understand why one might think that but we assure you: it was not.

These facilities chew you up. They suck the life from you and grind your body to dust to extract every ounce of profit they can.

These places destroy the body, the mind, and the soul.

[000l]

[shrewreadings]

like to charge, reblog to cast.

[the-real-seebs]

feel like i've got a good shot at this one working out

[the-real-seebs]

wow, shout out to my ex, who actually managed to make that not happen. extremely impressive.

[sanguine-humor]

phm is decently popular in japan and i mostly see this when i check twitter and see accounts posting pictures of handmade rocky plushies that are so fucking round looking it brings a tear to my eye

[sanguine-humor]

he keeps me sane

[thefuzzydave]

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[stupidbeecandle]

I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job.  There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept.  The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.

Even in the house it was LOUD.  Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval.  You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off.  It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.

At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks.  People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.

One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit.  It did.  Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that.  People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.

That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days

[glowingghosty]

[mcnerds]

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

[stupidbeecandle]

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

[ghost-mantis]

On this, the anniversary of the lunar landing, let us also celebrate the greatest post-mission achievement by a crewman.

I refer, of course, to the time Buzz Aldrin (age 72 at the time) cold-cocked a moon landing conspiracy theorist straight in his smug face after being accused of being a coward, liar, and thief.

Yes, someone was indeed dumb enough to tell a man so unafraid of death that he was willing to go into the void on a fragile explosive rocket, a coward.

Said dumbass was filming this confrontation as some sort of proof of moon fraud, but has instead captured this glorious moment of near-cosmic justice for us to loop for all time.

Aldrin was not charged with any crime. He should have been given another medal for public service.

[northstarfan]

Said dumbass tried to take Aldrin to court for assault and was thrown out on his metaphorical ass, being cited as the instigator of the incident after luring Aldrin into a meeting under false pretenses (telling the former astronaut he was being interviewed for a children's program).

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

[ralfmaximus]

The note inside a bullet.

B-17 bomber is riddled with German anti-aircraft fire but miraculously survives. Later they discover the explosive shells were all inert; sabotaged by Nazi slaves working in armament factories.

Inside one empty shell is a written note: it's all we can do for you now.

[gothlovingoth]

The most important part of all this is that these small acts of bravery and noncompliance cannot be known as long as the enemy still stands, and might never be known. Just because it doesn’t seem like anyone is doing anything doesn’t mean it’s true. The best malicious compliance or subtle sabotage is the one that’s never detected, but makes ravages nonetheless.

[anarchistmemedistro]

Blessed is the Flame

Serafinski Blessed is the Flame An introduction to concentration camp resistance and anarcho-nihilism 2016 Taken from the original book: Run

Audible Anarchism

Philosophy Podcast · Updated weekly · A podcast broadcasting Anarchist texts and audiobooks

[anarchistmemedistro]

[bigdykethanergy]

"there comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part. And you've got to throw your bodies upon the wheels and upon the gears. Upon the levers. Upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop!"

~Mario Savio

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[heartofalifer]

what was this movie even 

[eddiemoonson]

A cinematic masterpiece.

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

I CANNOT stress enough that in the Spy Kids films, Danny Trejo is literally playing his titular character from the Machete movies, who happens to be the kids’ uncle, because the movies have the same director

[lang-wich]

what this reply misses is that Machete originated *in* Spy Kids. the Machete movies are Spy Kids spinoffs

[hobgoblinhero]

I think it’s important to make clear that Robert Rodriguez, the director, says that Spy Kids and Machete are alternate universe versions of each other , while Danny Trejo, the actor, says that what happens in Machete is just what he does when he’s not hanging out with the kids

[normal-creature]

GUYS GUYS GUYS IM WATCHING THE MAKING OF PROJECT HAIL MARY AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE COMMENTING ON THE PROCESS JUST SAID "Project Hail Mary is answering the question.... can adult men make friends if the universe is depending on it" THATS FUCKING INSANE AND HILARIOUS THAT THEY ACKNOWLEDGED THE SELF-IMPOSED MALE ISOLATION ELEMENTS DIRECTLY IN AN OFFICIAL INTERVEIW. IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE

URL to timestamp for those who wish to see for themselves: https://youtu.be/EeUyot032b0?t=196

[normal-creature]

Elaborating more on why I find this so striking: so we all know that Weir kind of sucks. And I think most of us are aware that the PHM novel was intended as Weir's self-insert story, about a man who is tragically misunderstood and betrayed by an Earth which doesn't value him, and makes an idealised male friendship among the stars and leaves Earth forever. And how, due to Weir's complete lack of self-awareness, the story instead becomes the story of a man who is chronically unable to recognise when people value him, and deliberately self-isolates and shields himself from his own lonliness with logic. I think we all know this.

But building on this, the two directors of the PHM movie saw this read, prioritised it over Weir's intended read as both more accurate and more compelling, and built the movie around that read as a basis. Particularly striking to me is a moment from an interveiw about the movie's score. One of the directors says that, intially, they tried ominous and scary music to accompany Grace waking up on the ship, but it didn't feel right. So they instead alighted on a piece of music that said, in the director's words: "Poor thing. He's going to be alright. He just doesn't know it yet."

This quote is hugely important to me, because it underpins the dialogue between the book and the movie, and can almost be interpreted as a direct dialogue between Weir and the directors. Weir writes a book that says: here is the world. It rejects me, and I don't feel valued. I deserve better than this, and instead of examining why, I choose to externalise the blame. And the director, another man, but one with a more healthy mindset, looks at this worldveiw that Weir has presented to him and says "poor thing. you're going to be alright."

So this is why saying "Project Hail Mary is answering the question…. can adult men make friends if the universe is depending on it" is funny to me: because it's acknowledging that dialogue between them in a very explicit way that leaves little room for interpretation. It's acknowledging that this is about adult men having issues with making friends and forging emotional connections, due to their own self-imposed limitations, and thereby also acknowledging that Weir has these limitations. It's very bold. And the funniest thing is, for it to have made it into the cut, it must've flown completely over Weir's head.

[json-derulo]

phrases which, if you hear them come out of your own mouth or anyone else’s, should prompt you to pause and reevaluate your situation:

- “We don’t have time to follow the official procedure.”

- “I can cut my own bangs.”

- “Do you think I should be wearing eye protection right now?”

- “I’ll just trim up my bangs real quick before we leave.”

- “You marked that one as “flammable,” right?

- “How long could it possibly take to properly trim my own bangs? Five minutes?”