Pairing: Sweet Pea x plus size!reader
Warnings: ā ļø Trigger Warning ā ļø
Can I just say that I cried writing this. Some of the things the character says are thoughts that Iāve had myself so it explains why I cried. I put Trigger warning because I know how one small thing can Trigger a relapse and cause a person to fall back into the darkness. I want to say that I love you all, even if no one reads this or people do and weāre complete strangers, I love you. Youāre all flowers waiting to bloom.ā¤ļø
For the entirety of my life Iāve been reminded how I was nothing and I didnāt deserve good things, but when I met Sweet Pea, well he made me feel on top of the world and because of him I focused my energy into loving him instead of hating myself.
I trusted Sweet Pea with all of me and I always believed he genuinely loved me, until this very moment. I knew Sweet Pea had a bad day so I decided to grab us food from pops before heading to his house, silly of me thinking this happiness would last.
Finally, his eyes met mine and he froze before pulling away from the girl and heading my way I shook my head dropping the food and drinks I was carrying before starting to head back the way I came. āHow could I have been so stupid?ā I whispered, tears started falling down my face and I felt so stupid.
āY/N!ā I heard him yell but I just wanted to get away from him. āWait!!ā I heard the crunch of gravel as he ran towards me before he finally caught up to me. āItās not what it looks like.ā He said and I frowned. āBabe, you know me.ā He smiled and I shook my head, I pulled away from him tears flowing down my cheeks faster.
āI-I trusted you. I k-knew it. This was too good to be true.ā I shook my head. āItās over. Weāre over.ā I sobbed before I turned around and ran as far as my legs would take me before I fell to the floor sobbing.
āWhy would he want to be with you.ā I sobbed loudly. āThereās way prettier girls than you, like that girl.ā I whispered shaking as sobs fell out of my mouth.
Being plus sized filled you with these insecurities and finding out that the one person you love deeply betrayed you with someone not even half your size. It hurt more than anyone could imagine.
I eventually stopped crying enough to call Cheryl and she immediately said sheād be here. I was on the side of the rode on my knees sobbing, they were starting to hurt but I didnāt care.
Eventually Cheryl showed up and helped me up and into her car. The drive to her house I spent it sobbing and when we stepped into her room I completely broke down.
āIām so stupid.ā I sobbed wrapping my arms around my stomach. āHow could I think heād want me? I mean look at me!ā I yelled. āNo one wants this.ā I gestured you my body and Cheryl sat beside me tears filling her eyes. āWhy anyone likes me is beyond me.ā I chuckled bitterly.
āStop.ā Cheryl ordered. āY/N, youāre so beautiful and you donāt even see it.ā She whispered.
The door to her room flew open and in walked in Veronica, Betty and Toni. āY/N.ā Toni said softly running to me and I shook my head trying to pull away. āStop.ā I sobbed shaking and then I felt all their arms wrap around me.
āWhy are you guys friends with me? Is it because you feel sorry for me? Maybe because I complete the group? Having an ugly duckling makes it all so much easier.ā I said softly and they all pulled away looking at me.
āShut up.ā Veronica said angrily. āYou are about the most beautiful human I have ever met, inside and out. You have this heart of gold and you forgive people over and over, until it shatters you. Sweet Pea doesnāt deserve someone like you. You deserve the entire world, Y/N.ā She said tears streaming down her face.
āAnd we wonāt stop reminding you until it sticks.ā Betty said and I seen tears flowing down her cheeks. āWho you are is beautiful.ā Betty smiled and I smiled back.
āIāll beat his ass for you.ā Toni interjected and I laughed bitterly. āThereās no point.ā I whispered. āThank you. All of you, you mean they world to me, thank you.ā I said and they all smiled before pulling me into a group chat.
The first month of the break up was hard, the self loathing crept in and I couldnāt do anything to stop it. The second month I started going out more often with friends and focusing on school. The third month was when I knew I was getting better, I saw him in the hall and only felt a small pang before it disappeared. The fourth month was when it all stopped hurting entirely, I even smiled at him in the halls. The fifth month I knew I was going to be okay due to my friends and slowly but surely I was learning how to love myself.
I was on my way to my car and I spotted Sweet Pea leaning against it I smiled as I approached him and he looked like a mess. āYou okay?ā I asked concerned and he shook his head. āI screwed up with you. I fucked it all up because Iām an idiot. Iām not asking for you to give us a chance again, I just want you to know I love you and I always will. Iām so glad youāre learning to love yourself, I saw it growing everyday over the past few months and Iām so proud of you Y/N.ā He said softly and I smiled warmly. āI never deserved you.ā He mumbled and I walked up to him wrapping my arms around him.
āI want to thank you.ā I whispered into his ear. āI needed to lose you to love me.ā I pulled away smiling up at him and he gave me a sad smile before pushing off my car and walking away.
I jumped into my car, I rolled down the windows and blast my favorite song on the radio before pulling out of the parking lot and driving.
Iāll admit my self loathing did manage to sneak in once in a while but I had people around me who reminded me that I was more than the negativity in my head. I knew Iād be okay because I was trying and I was learning to love myself because sometimes you have to love yourself to stay whole.
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