@befunge - Tumblr Blog

maxxie-or-smth

my future is tomorrow i'm scared

boomer-mythology-destroyer

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

dietspam16

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

mentohol-blog

My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.

just7frogsinapeoplesuit

For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish

direhydroid

also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.

also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.

just7frogsinapeoplesuit

More from the notes:

mewvore

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

machinot

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

lustcannibalism

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

lustcannibalism

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

typecasto

behold, context

toweringclam

whyenn-reader

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

whyenn-reader

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

aristocrating

its 2026 i cannot handle any more fucking "author A obviously ripped off author B" discourse by people Who Have Only Seen the work of author B and admit themselves that they have no further knowledge of the literary landscape they are moving in. like.

may cause eye strain

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

gunsandfireandshit

This is painfully American

dirtbaby2016

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

unstablebill

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.