Seifa likes Ven, and that's a real problem for her because it's not the easily manageable kind of like that she's forced herself to utilise over the years. She normally likes people the same way Skags like the smell of day-old roadkill.
Someone who's company you trust and wit you prefer over the other options available for the night, that's an easy like, that's the kind of "friendship" she's tended to propagate for a long time now. Ones that don't need a huge amount of yourself. The kind that last years but don't cut into the meat of your secrets, those are the norm for her. Those are fine.
She likes Ven in a way that makes things harder, 'cause Seifa cares about him, and caring? That's tough. She's not very fucking good at caring about others.
Sei spent years avoiding caring in general, and now she's found herself leading a life where she's practically drowning in worry and fear for people she ended up loving anyway. Deep down she should have known that would happen eventually, the joke's always on her in the end - and it's normally Seifa who sets up the punchline.
Hurting Ven? It matters now, because she let herself care enough that his wellbeing spills over into her own. Him and Jak-Knife, Troy, Eli, the phantom of what she can recall Tyreen Calypso once being before an unknown vileness warped that brilliant smile into something vicious, they all hold a little place inside Sei's heart now, and she can't quite tell if she's pissed with herself for letting it happen, or frightened by how empty it had been in the first place.
Saying the wrong stupid thing as a stupid joke because you were too dumb to read the room right, that matters now, and for all her sharpness she knows damn well that putting her foot in her mouth has been a life long speciality of hers. Still, she makes sure to apologise for it every time, even if it's in one of the frankly weird ways she prefers.
Easier to have a litttttle bit too much to drink in one of the louder clubs before you gut yourself in genuine empathy to a friend, even easier if they are a tad wobbly too, and she's always been able to count on the man to throw a good wobble when she needs the company.
Squashed together like Rakklings in a cordoned off ViP area as the shitty bass music half muffles out her words, arm slung around his shoulder (sloshing gold flakes and vodka over the beautiful coat he's wearing) as she half yells half whispers that she's sorry about earlier - about what she said bout trading him for some junk? Was meant to be a joke, she'd only say that because she'd never do it, because he's so valuable to her, yeah? Still, she saw the reaction, saw the hurt - sorry man, won't happen again. Next round's on her, right?
Right.
Easier to wrap it in a fun night out with envious glances and some flashing neon than go face to face - that's not worked out that well for her in the past. She doesn't really know how to be genuine without maybe showing a little too much of her inner vulnerability, and thing's didn't go right last time she tried. Genuine regret and an honest reminder of how much the person meant to her mixed badly, was misread as something else, and their heart had gotten broken despite her intent being to patch a wound in the first place.
Still, she trusts him. Figures that wouldn't happen, or it's unlikely, but it would be her fault if it did anyway, just like it had been before. Seems she only has her Seifa façade and the sad thing hiding under it to show people, one or the other without the security of something in between.
She knows she should probably work on a middle ground but... who has the time. She's a busy woman.
His reaction when she'd said it had twigged her in on something obvious though, that pang of sharp hurt that wiped the easy grin off his face and replaced it with something practiced and cold had hit a weak point she hadn't known about. Something about his past maybe, or how he'd valued himself.
Close as they were, squashed side by side and chuckling under breath that could blow the place if any of the horde of worshippers pulsating around their booth lit a match, Ven was in many ways still an enigma. His secrets were wrapped in layers of open friendship, he hid them under truths and insecurities they'd spent so many evenings sharing with his brother and Jak-Knife, or even their moody boy-king on long nights in his Sanctum.
She knew he'd tell her in his own time if that was something he was ever going to consider, but she also knew that she was an impossibly nosy little shit who wouldn't be able to let it go now that she had an inkling... and Troy had been NO help.
When Calypso wasn't intentionally wrapping himself around her finger and expertly hiding how much he enjoyed every second of it, Troy could be... surprising.
It's rare he says no to her and means it, but when he really does, he's fucking clear. There's a snap in the air as his voice silences it - a shift.
You don't keep pushing, something in your brain stem sends a warning with a finality that shivers the roots of your molars and shuts you up.
Troy is normally a pliant man. He likes being easy to manipulate, especially by women. She's known him long enough to catch that little "interest" of his, but when he's serious? You don't push back, so she stopped asking him to gossip secrets about Ven's history the very first time he denied her so clearly.
She might be underselling herself by saying her hunt for his past is purely out of curiosity, being nosy is only a part of it. In reality?
She doesn't want to hurt her friend again.
The realisation an in-joke, or a snarky comment, or any of the other myriad of shitty little communication tricks she employs could actually target somewhere already bleeding through his armour was upsetting.
That's something to celebrate when it's intended, but accidentally slipping a verbal shank into a friend's ribs isn't the win it is with a competitor, and she'd rather that not happen again, so she tries to heal it her way - reminds him over and over on nights like these how great a man he is.
She makes a scene in public so no one can deny the truth of it. A raised toast to The Oracle, sight of the Holy Twins, and a drunken speech to the club goers about how much he means to the Saints, how valuable he is to her.
She wears the trinkets he's gifted her whenever she can, returns the gestures of kindness with shoddily crafted wire figures, or quick repairs of any of his tech she notices could do with a tune-up.
Loops an arm through his and drags him through crowds for a chance at better seating while slumming, because don't they know who he is??
She'll tell them.
She knows, and she'll make sure everyone around them does too.
The Holy City is full of Saints, and Sinners.
A handful are both.
Ven belongs to @hieroglyphix and JK to @godkingsanointed
She must, because sometimes how her body responds goes wrong when everyone else around her shivers or sweats, but she can't grasp the memory of how temperature felt. Of course she knows what it feels like, you idiot - she just...
Sensations have gotten hard to recall.
It's right there, heat is hot and cold is cool, it's right there dancing in the back of her brain, glancing against her fingers, but how either used to actually feel slips away every time she tries to reach for it. Something in Ty's mind is clumsy nowadays, fumbling its grip when she tries to focus on any memory she knows is missing but can't understand why - there's a barrier somewhere in her thoughts that slithers and constricts around the parts of her that are her, and Tyreen is aware she lost what heat felt like to its choking grip long before they ever landed on Pandora.
When she lets herself sink under the water of her cloister's pool, she knows it's refreshing and cool.
When she sprawls across their couch and kicks her legs up over her twin's lap, demanding a footrub through silent toe wiggles and puppy-skag eyes that he's never been able to deny, she knows his hand is warm and comforting, she just can't... feel it.
When they landed on this shithole all those years ago, she remembers Troy complaining like the whiny little bitch he is for days about the heat.
"It's too hot, why did we come here, this place sucks, you suck, I hate it here, I hate you, I hate rocks, there's sand up my ass, my skin's peeling off, I want to go home, yo that guy just ate another guy, blah blah blah blah"
She remembers every goddamn second of it as the sun left him blotchy and blistering with only his sister around to deal with the moaning, but it just never hit her. She never burned under Pandora's heat, never freckled, never tanned.. just stayed the same as she'd always looked. Perfect, while Troy wilted under Elpis.
She reacts though, her traitorous meat does at least, and that's a frustration that's only built over time. She can't feel the cold dulling her reflexes and slowing her limbs, but it still does. She can't tell it's hot enough for her head to start spinning and words to start slurring, the shakes just hit out of nowhere - nerves firing haphazardly as her shitty, prison of a body starts to error out in a temperature it can't handle but she isn't allowed experience.
Fuckin' unfair really... a God deserves better.
Troy:
He likes the heat.
Everyone thinks he complains about it all the time but that's just Ty talking shit. He doesn't, not really, he just ain't a fan of when it's TOO hot.
Like, when he opens a window, or he goes outside for any reason, or Elpis is enough of a prick to get a blade of sunlight right through that tiny sliver of flexpane between the blackout interlocking panels that curve across his sleeping quarter's main window - the one that always manages to land across his eyes when he's desperately trying to claw out a few more hours rest, or when he's off planet and the aircon's set all fucky by some suited-up corpo freaks swanning inside that weird cloying heaviness of Promethea's high rises, or when his outfit for the night's broadcast is thick in all the wrong places and he's left feeling his maw twitch between practiced lines - prickly heat itching across his skin while he puts on God King Calypso's blood-soaked show in front of scorching hot camera lights, struggling to hide the sweat AND the urge to murder the entire costume team, or...
....Ok, so, maybe he might not like the heat, but he DEFINITELY doesn't like the cold. Pandora gets so fuckin' cold at night, way more than offworlders would ever guess.
In the weeks leading up to when the rainy season breaks through the drought months, the Holy City frosts throughout the night, ices deep into concrete and rust. Nekrotafeyo never changed, it was a stable, constant warmth. Hot, but not too hot, touched by a breeze that cooled enough after sunset to sleep bundled and comfortable, sometimes even crisping enough that Ty's furnace of wriggling sleepy limbs next to him in their little shared cot was welcome.
What he likes?
Well, Sei's ship is usually comfortable enough, so that temperature - that's nice. Sanctum always feels cold somehow, he's never got the thermal settings the way he'd be happy with even after years of tweaking them obsessively... it gets good when people are over though! Maybe Ven's just really warm or something, not that he'd tell him. Can hear that molten caramel chuckle already - "You callin' me hot, boss?😏"
Jak-Knife must emanate heat too, cause Troy's sat near campfires on freezing nights listening to them whisper lies and truths and lies that might be truths wrapped in secrets Troy can't understand to their retinue of crusaders, and that's not felt cold the way Sanctum does.
Even though, I mean, it was, or it should have been 'cause he was shivering next to them so, uh... oh you know what, screw this.
Man, fuck it this question is dumb as shit, who even ASKS somethin' like.. do fans actually think he's got the time to waste on answering complete freakin turds like thi-
Seifa:
"What? There's nothing WRONG with the air, the eco scrubbers don't need replacing. Kid, shut the hell up. They're fine, I refurbed them myself - got like, 400 more rotations easy... I hope."
"... Excuse me? Are you joking? Do you know how much those things cost to run compared to what I've setup?? Feck sake, look if you want to keep moaning about "burning your lungs" n' other bullshit while I'm busy piloting us between debris moving towards us at pants-shitting speed, how about you BREATH less? It's my damn air you're SUCKIN IN FOR FREE. Know where you won't have to deal with it itching your delicate widdle throat? In the vacuum outside this hull, so how about I send you on a nice long spacewalk you jumped up cheeky piece of s-"
Also Seifa:
Aircon on full, surrounded by fans and heaters humming at top capacity, 3 dehumidifiers set to max, atomisers arranged to hit all sides of her face, splayed across her sofa watching the latest Love N'circuits:
it had a huge sticker on it that said “this is not a toy”. the gas station i got it from had a sign infront of the display for these only that said “buy first, then test”. the first time you strike it (from the fins, by the way) you find out exactly why. they have added incredibly bright flashing blue LED lights on the eyes, which point directly into your eyes and the eyes of whoever is looking anywhere close to the fish that makes you blind.
a friend of mine was like “you can probably take this apart and cut the wires so it doesn’t do that anymore” and i told her “no i can’t. i can’t do that” and she was like “???why not?????????”
it’s just too fucking funny. this is the stupidest thing i own. thinking about that gas station clerk with like 50 more of these fucking things thinking “how the fuck am i gonna get rid of these?” makes me loose it. setting up the sign and i was literally the first person to buy one.
A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.
Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.
Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.
I made this piece, because I wanted to raise avareness to something I love since I was maybe 14 years old. A vampire story I adored and a character I learned to appreciate for his complexity. I think he is a great character to study, if you are aiming to write a protagonist, who never really becomes a fully good person, but learns wisdom and gains a small amount of peace during his journey.
If you like vampires. If you like a gothic fantasy world, with night creatures, demons and cruel knights. If you like time travel. If you like lovecraftian horror. You have to experience the Legacy of Kain games.
Kain is both a hero and a villain of his story. He is an arrogant, cruel and angry man, who was betrayed too many times. It would be easy to assume he is a villain, who thinks he is the hero of his story. But… he is. This arrogant, cruel, angry man is the Chosen One, destined to save the world and he is fully aware of it.
His journey starts as a vengeful hero, who then becomes the villain destroying the world, and then finding his way back to fulfill his destiny. His story doesn't end when he gives up everything and burns the world. He is an immortal vampire. He has a thousand years to plan, and regret, and try again. He has a thousand years to experience the ruin of his world and desciding to fix it. However, his inability to see the full picture infuriates him. The true answers are hidden from him on purpose. Everyone lies or hides the truth. And no matter how he breaks the bars of this cage of false truths, there is another and another and this drives him mad. He has to go very deep and sacrifice many things to finally face the truth, but doing so he loses the last thing still dear to him. This changes him, but we never see, where this change truly takes him.
I really wish if there would be a final game, finishing this story more decisively. But until then, we have a bittersweet ending of a small ray of Hope.
I’ve built up a high tolerance to funny over the years. This is genuinely one of the few times I’ve ever laughed so hard I’ve started crying. I trust you, sesamarot.
today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god
