Brightest Fires

Star Trek and Star Wars characters. AOS Jim Kirk roleplayer with smatterings of TOS thrown in for good measure. And her majesty general Leila Organa

[vivalski]

*Yoda’s training flashbacks*

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

Spock and Chekov getting along not because theyre both geniuses but because technically theyre of an age due to the longevity of vulcan lifespans. Chekov and Spock are in the same stage of emotional development uwu

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

Yeah you heard me

[palindroned]

quote credited to this post

[darthvaders]

[child-of-dolora]

And there was never another Rogue One callsign ever – and when the Rogue Group flew the Rogue leader was always back and to the right of true lead position, because it was understood.  It was believed.  It was known.

Rogue One would always fly with their group, because the Force was with them.

[patrickat]

[doctortay-deactivated20210629]

FYI this is called ‘missing man formation’ and is done in honor and remembrance of a fallen pilot I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

[catchymemes]

[reginaldqueribundus]

Sir Patrick Stewart really went into Star Trek and said “you know what? I am going to give this goofy sci-fi show my all. I may be standing here in pyjamas talking gibberish to a stuntman in a foam rubber suit but by god I will act.” He didn’t have to do that for us but he did.

[trek-tracks]

I like when Leonard McCoy gets visibly irritated over something.

I love when Spock gets visibly irritated over something.

But it’s the fucking best when the two of them are relatively calm and serene, and it’s Captain Unflappable, happy-go-lucky Jim Kirk who is visibly irritated and losing his shit over something.

[trek-tracks]

This is why The Trouble With Tribbles is such gold

Bones: I like them

Spock: I find them oddly soothing

Jim: My motherfucking chicken sandwich and coffee get these hellbeasts off my ship

[neetols]

Good old fashioned reunions

[isildur-elessar]

[that-catholic-shinobi]

i’m sorry i’m laughing but this gif set is usually paired with Anakin being a good kind person which makes it sad, but a perspective of Obi Wan telling Luke blatant lies is hilarious

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[kaijuerotica]

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

[tanukiham]

actual footage of first contact makeouts

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

[explorerrowan]

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

[zinglebert-bembledack]

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

[gallifreyanwriter]

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

[hazeldomain]

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job 

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.

[beeishappy]

LSSC | 2016.11.21

[stuckylikeglue-deactivated20171]

He is so DELIGHTED

[adulthoodisokay]

“They want to hire a part of me.”

[decepticonsensual]

Everything about this, from Carrie’s viscerally presented and excellent point, to the pun, to the look on Stephen’s face like he just fell in love.  Everything is so, so good.

[godzillawillsaveus]

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) dir. Richard Marquand

[clonettroopers]

i feel like obi-wan was constantly giving cody heart attacks because as the war went on and got more and more dangerous, obi-wan kept deciding “oh, i kinda feel like wearing less aRMOR TODAY” 

like honestly, look at this:

early in the clone wars he had chest armor that looks like it probably covers his heart from both the front and the back and also has plating all the way up his arms as well as on his shins. it’s not perfect, but it’s definitely something, especially considering how the majority of the time, the enemy used blasters

after the time skip, apparently obi decided all that plastoid was cramping his style so he got rid of basically all of it except for his forearms. i would love to see his clones’ reaction to finding out their reckless general had now made himself even more of a target.

by ROTS obi-wan decided to basically fuck armor entirely, opting for fabric and leather alone, content in the assumption that the power of the force and pure concentrated sass will save him. he doesn’t even have gloves anymore lol. cody has long given up hope.

[kanirou-crosshack]

and it only gets funnier when you go back even earlier in the war, because he used to wear FULL ARMOR

boy even wore a helmet

no other Jedi did this, Obi-Wan just went full trooper and wore their armor, rode their speeders, wielded their weapons, “Jedi propriety” be damned (and other Jedi did comment on this). Qui-Gon would be so proud. 

and then he just starts….stripping as the war goes on

[lambentwarg]

What with his track record with robes, it was only a matter of time before he misplaced all his armor too.

[grey-jedi-enters-the-game]

^^^^^

[systlin]

I’m assuming the Jedi Academy accountants were constantly complaining about General Kenobi’s New Robe Budget.

[sasskarian]

Honestly I expected “win the war by removing more clothing over time” to be more of an Anakin single brain cell plan but you go, Obi Wan, you funky little Anastasia

[systlin]

Listen Anakin learned from someone and that someone was General “I look competent but all my plans involve the words ‘and then I do something SUPER COOL’ Kenobi.

[little-jar-of-dragons]

Somewhere in space in the hospital wing of a ship.

Alien - “Human Steve! I have excellent news! We found your severed upper appendage in good enough condition that we think it can be reattached - “

Human - “What?”

Alien - “Uh … Your arm? We found it and instead of the mechanical prosthetic we think - “

Human - “Wait, that friggin mutant snake thing didn’t eat it?”

Alien - “Oh, no, no, no! It would seem that it did not like the taste as humans are not a part of it’s natural or native diet, as you can imagine. For that matter the ‘snake thing’ was a fairly standard specimen for this planet - “

Human - “You mean to tell me that fucker ripped my arm off and didn’t even have the decency to eat it! Just dumped it somewhere to waste? Offended. I am. Offended.

Human’s equally human friend standing next to him staring at a tablet - “Rude. Just rude.”

Alien - “…”

Alien - “…”

Alien - “So … do you want the arm reattached or not.”

I was watching a shark attack documentary the other day, in which said shark took off a man’s arm and later the arm washed up on the beach. All the man had to say about it was, “Took my arm the least the shark could have done was get a meal out of it instead of letting it go to waste.” 

[dragonsrequiem]

The arm was attached with minimal lasting damage. The bewildered alien retreats to the lounge, where they stare obliviously into their evening nutrients with what they’ve seen the humans refer to as a “1000 mile stare”.

(The American humans, that is. When they asked one of the non American humans what a mile was, they were assured it was a ridiculous measurement form utilized solely by Americans and not to worry too much about learning it unless they wished to engage in continued dialogue with the weirdest portion of humanity aside from the Australian humans.)

They were pulled from their thoughts by a friendly tap on the tray near their resting tentacles. Appreciative for the consideration and lack of physical touch, they turned their gaze to the human known as Sheila. “Humans Sheila! Maybe… could you explain something to me?”

After the human nodded in affirmation, the befuddled alien explained.

“Human Steve encountered an angry reptilian based lifeform which severed his arm.”

“Steve never cleans his hands as well as he should. Lemme guess, it choked and now there’s an incident.”

Puzzled, the alien spoke up. “Negative. It failed to consume the arm and we ended up being able to reattach it…”

They paused in confusion when they noticed that the Human Sheila was bent around her abdomen as though in agony while making those bizarre noises common to pleased earthlings.

“He tasted so bad it got spat out??? He must have been— so very— Offended!!!” Sheila’s volume increased in her mirth, while the alien waved tentacles worriedly and considered summoning medical personnel. The humans must share some cultural obligation to consume enemies if vanquished, they finally decided. They would have to update the multi galactic database with this.

[little-jar-of-dragons]

A beautiful addition thank you for this

[amadina-fasciata]

“It’s… it’s good… *sniff*”

[amadina-fasciata]

sageissupergay

Stick it on his chestplate like a fridge

i got you covered fam

he’s a badass bounty hunter shhhh ignore that he looks like a human fridge 

[kaijuno]

Will someone come please collect Mark Hamill

[spock-fucks]

i think it’s pretty great that nimoy just straight up did not like the pointed ears and yet nearly every fan from ‘66 to present is like “hmmmm. hot.” about em

[spock-fucks]

nimoy: i think they look kinda stupid :(

thousands of horny idiots for over 50 years: no no it’s sexy to look like a christmas elf