KIROKAZE
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shark vs the universe
macklin celebrini has autism
YOU ARE THE REASON
h
wallacepolsom
bliss lane
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roma★
tumblr dot com
JVL
Love Begins
titsay
The Stonewall Inn
hello vonnie
$LAYYYTER
ojovivo
cherry valley forever
EXPECTATIONS
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@casakae
Hey, do you remember what the name of the rpg system designed for neurodivergent kids is called?
Thanks in advance :)
I'm afraid I don't know which system you're talking about
And also I couldn't resist making this
There's probably a bunch, but the one I know about is called Guild Chronicles:
a collaborative storytelling system designed to foster social emotional growth
someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old
Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)
Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.
Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.
Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!
Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.
Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.
Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)
Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.
Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.
Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?
Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.
Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!
So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.
Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”
thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated
A handy table for everyone:
Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.
Oh SWEET, a table!
that awkward moment when I see the table I made, uncredited, in the wild
you may walk out of the underworld but you have to trust that she is behind you. do not look back to check.
i trust that she is there
i trust that she is there (i think)
i trust that she is there (please?)
i trust that she is there (can you hear me?)
i trust that she is there (say something so i can hear you)
i trust that she is there (what if it’s a lie?)
i trust that she is there (i can’t even see her shadow on the wall)
i trust that she is there (SAY SOMETHING)
SAY SOMETHING.
look behind.
#jesus.#orpheus and eurydice#as a poem#using a poll#this is probably the greatest exploitation of mediums i have ever seen op#every reader has the chance to become part of the text by voting#not the subtext#the TEXT#and i love me some ephemeral works in concept#you had to be here for this one week#and then the text is locked#(barring any edits to the original post of course)#and i just think that's so beautiful#beauty springs from the simplest things viewed askew#and all you need is a poll that accepts long enough strings (via couchcrusader)
and then THE FINAL RESULT. where “look behind” came so so so close to winning, but “i trust that she is there” came out ahead by 0.1%. so maybe, maybe, we did it right this time. maybe this time we were able to save her.
💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Grower’s Tape Wondrous item, uncommon ___
This roll of tape is 1 inch wide and 60 feet long. You can use an action to cut off a length of tape and apply it to a surface. The tape immediately decomposes and turns into fertile soil once it’s stuck to a surface. Plants rapidly grow from the soil, becoming fully ripe after 1 hour.
Roll on the table below once for every 1 foot of tape used to determine what grows from that stretch of soil.
| d6 | Grown Plant | — | 1 | A sickly mushroom. Boiling three of these for 1 hour renders one vial’s worth of basic poison. | | 2–5 | A cluster of random crops, which yield either 1 pound of wheat (30%), 1 pound of ginger (30%), 1 pound of cloves (30%), or 1 pound of saffron (10%). | | 6 | A vine grows from the ground to produce 1d4 berries, which function as if created by the “goodberry” spell. |
If you use one or more strips of tape to enclose an area, the tape recreates either version of the “plant growth" spell (your choice) for all plants within that area. For example, you can use 20 feet of tape to enclose a 5-foot square, or 30 feet of tape to enclose a 5-foot-radius circle. ___
✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!
There he is
The bear in area
His arrival was foretold in ancient murals
An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:
Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly
The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal
Cocker spaniel named “Captain”
Stupid, the Cat
Litter of baby raccoons
Three more cats
A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM
Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out
A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction. Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.
Turtle
Snapping Turtle
A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair. Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.
Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently
Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.
Dummy, Son of Stupid
Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.
An “abandoned” baby deer.
Spooky, an alleged dog.
Joey the parakeet whose tricks were 1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats
A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice. Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.
Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.
Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens. They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.
Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”
Cardinal (bird)
Canada Goose (Demon)
Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”
The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.
Questions from the Notes:
Your grandparents were Druids, right? They were a Steel Worker and Head Clerk at the local grocery store, respectively.
How does a Horse run races the Wrong way? Get near the finish line then make a U-turn becuase he wasn’t done running yet. He was also an excellent jumper and swimming horse. Much happier being a trail horse on Cleveland’s Emerald Belt.
How does a St. Bernard hide in a small suburban house? Clever use of the space behind the couches, under the sink and under beds. For a 110lb animal, Gretchen was also very quiet and knew to wait until the house was empty to move from hiding spaces or to snitch food off the counters. Once her coat grew back in she was willing to be visible again.
The Tarantula Didn’t come froma pet store, did it? You know that stereotype about Tarantuals hiding in Bananas? That used to be a real thing that happened when bananas started being regularly available in Postwar mass market grocery stores. Not very often, but it did. Grandma found the tarantula in a shipment of Bananas, and being the only non-arachnophobe working in the store, took her home and named her “Carmen Tarantula” after the famous brazilian singer. Geography was not Grandma’s strong point
Carmen Tarantula lived for 3 years and juding by the extremely blurry polaroid in the family albums, was probably a Brazilian Black.
What do you mean Spooky was an “Alleged Dog”? Well, for one thing, she Meowed.
Spooky was a 35lb delicate-limbed dog with owl-like pale green eyes and bat-like ears that was solid black save for a white patch on her chest in exactly the shape of Casper The friendly ghost, which was the only part of her visible when she would roam the halls at night, which is how she got the name.
Spooky was living in the house at the same time as Dummy, Son Of Stupid and another more Prototypical cat named Needles. Dummy would sometimes forget what he was doing and get lost in the house, causing him to mewl pathetically until one of the humans or animals found and escorted him back to more familiar settings. Typically, Needles would meow back at Dummy until she found him.
After three weeks in the house, Spooky could do an astonishingly good Cat’s Meow as well.
Spooky could also open doorknobs, get into the attic which didn’t even have a human entrance, would sit up like a human to eat her dinner or watch TV, and had a peculiar penchant for fishing. Grandpa and Uncle popeye would regularly take her on fishing trips becuase she’d gleefully dive into the lakes and finish bringing the catch in, whether it were lake trout or pike or in one case, a strugeon.
Spooky also LOVED tomatoes. More than anything else in the world. If given a choice between a ribeye and a tomato, Spooky would chose the tomato every time. This only applied to raw tomatoes though, she despised ketchup.
So while very much shaped like one, Spooky gave the distinct impression of something else dressed up as a dog. Whatever she was, she was a loving and beloved companion to the family for 16 years.
If you enjoyed this story, you can check out my #Family Lore tag on my blog, or you can pre-order copies of the Family Lore Book containing many more stories on my Patreon. I am disabled and telling stories online is my primary source of income so if you share these please link back and consider donating to my Ko-Fi or PayPal. Thank you all for your support!
| That’s…. not how that works
This woman deserves an oscar
same energy
Transcript:
Person in scrubs: This was a conversation I had while working at a retail pharmacy.
Person in scrubs: Hi ma’am, how can I help you today?
Customer: [rude, sounding bored] I need to refill my birth control.
Scrubs: Sure, let me check on that. Hm, it looks like you’re a little early. Did the doctor change the way you’re taking it?
Customer: [snidely] No, he told me exactly how to take it and that’s exactly how I’m taking it.
Scrubs: Okay, why don’t you tell me how you’re taking it, and I’ll make sure we wrote the correct directions the first time.
Customer: [rudely] I take one every morning at 8 AM, and so does my boyfriend.
Scrubs: [long pause, blinking] What?
I am shrieking with laughter but only because if I don’t laugh I will burst into tears.
2020 headlines
Midway through 2020, people started suggesting that I train a neural net on 2020 headlines, and I was skeptical that there would be enough weird ones to make a decent project. Then 2020 continued to be 2020. We started to get headlines such as:
Mysterious alien-like monolith discovered in Utah desert What you need to know about ‘murder hornets’ The Mystery of The Platypus Deepens With The Discovery of Its Biofluorescent Fur Famous Vienna hotel turns to drive-in cake
And by the time we got to December, with more bioluminescent marsupials, mysterious monoliths, and the Galactic Federation, my course was clear.
I decided to use GPT-3, whose internet training data was all collected before October 2019. In other words, before 2020 happened. I gave GPT3 a list of 2020 headlines and let it add more text to the list. Having no data from 2020, would it even treat these as real headlines?
A lot of the generated headlines were from the natural world, in part because my list of examples tended to favor those. I really can’t tell if these are attempts to do novel but realistic headlines, or to completely goof around.
Swarming bears are given deadly slingshots by Russian hunters Good news / Bad news about crows in Burlington schools When Killer Orchids Attack: How the Deadly Corpse Orchid Is Turning Up in U.S. Backyards Apparently There is No Good Photo of the “Melbourne Spider” Desert mystery - what is this rock that looks like a plane ticket? Fears rise of new dwarf hippo public relations disaster after rise in sightings Mysterious Origin of Monster Deep-sea Toads Solved What are 'dragon cats’ and why they are getting hyped? Massive radioactive sinkhole continues to grow in Russia Why scientists believe the 'Killer Raccoons of the Pacific Northwest’ are responsible for this kill Lycoperdons, the tiny deadly puffballs, are on the march again From deep in the Earth, darkness “boils” to the surface A sassy tardigrade previews new Doctor Who
With other generated headlines, it looks more like GPT-3 assessed the 2020 headlines and went, “Murder hornets? Yeah okay and hellhounds too.” (This is clearly an algorithmic error; hellhounds are MUCH more likely to be found at the Denver International Airport.)
Proof that a hellhound is living at Los Angeles Airport has been provided in the photos below First naked bogman has been found out walking the great British countryside Reports of a '10-foot tall penguin’ roaming about on the Family Islands in the Solomon Islands are investigated Albino green sea monster filmed … at the wrong time Scientists discover the alien ant farm under the Antarctic ice Lizardman: The Terrifying Tale of the Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp
I like its science/technology headlines. So many good little bots.
Researchers fear our solar system is being interfered with by alien space lasers Mars rover finds only artificial organic matter on surface Scientists Recreate Giant Liopleurodon In Lab 'Lost’ NASA space shuttle repair robot comes back to life after four decades in complete darkness Hey, Curiosity Rover, Don’t Go Chasing Shadow Bugs Small drone takes on six killer sharks in Shipwreck (Video) Mysterious Hole Observed On the Sun How did we miss this massive alien spaceship lurking on an abandoned asteroid? Scorpions on the dark side of the moon NASA: Has Earth 'Halted’ And Stopped Spinning - If What NASA States is True, We Must All Celebrate! NOW!
i only showed the most interesting sorts of headlines; plenty were just ordinary news from 2019 or earlier. Others were new, technically, but not exactly news:
Breathing Is “Supercharging” Brain Voyager 1 images: See contents of interstellar space Scientists Take Photos In See-Through Scuba Gear, and This Is What They Got Scientists do science… … and then write about it! Scientists say climate change deniers should sit on a beach until it is underwater
I tried another experiment in which I tried to produce more targeted headlines, around the theme of… tumbleweeds. (It turns out there were a LOT of dramatic tumbleweed headlines in 2020, due to their habit of descending on various places in apocalyptic numbers) If you’d like to read the results, let me know and I’ll email them to you.
On the subject of GOOD things that have existed in 2020: please consider my book on AI, You Look Like a Thing and I Love You: Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s - Boulder Bookstore
every time i blink my eyes it makes the tiny water-filled ring toss game in my head go whoosh
this bitch
and When A ring falls onto one of the spikes I get a complete thought.
just got hit with a memory so deep i didn’t even know it existed wtf
impostor syndrome is a common problem in academia. For example my colleagues keep putting me in the airlock and ejecting me into space
Uh.. if you're not the imposter how do you keep coming back?
tenure
SCREECHING
This is fucking fantastic. The Edelweiss Pirates.
Ok i need a whole ass mini series about them
I didn't know bucket toothpaste was only a thing here!
WAIT! How do people in other countries put toothpaste on their toothbrushes??? You d-don't use your toothpaste spoon????
This whole thread is making me so sad 😔😔
Australia no longer on shitlist for bagged milk.
Croatia now is in danger.
that whole scene where howl is telling Sophie that she's beautiful in the meadow is fucking hilarious when you compare that against book!howl and the consistent comments about what a horrid and nosy woman she is
@carrotsofthepirabbean !!!!
AND the book scene where she’s like “what the fuck you could TELL that I was cursed?? Why didn’t you do anything about it?” and he’s like “idk I thought you just liked being an old lady, that’s your business”
i absolutely love this review
