Activity Status: Still writing, sorry gang brain slow mode
Fandoms:
(Spiderman/Deadpool) (Dispatch) (Saints Row)
AO3: ClosedCurtains
Fics on AO3:
(Dispatch) You're Under My Skin: On going
(Dispatch) Dispatch Y Team: Unfinished
(Dispatch) It's Not That Gay If You Think About It: On going
(Spiderman/Deadpool) No Hero Coming: Finished
This post will be changed/edited to update viewers on what's going on for this account.
I put tags on my posts to make the easier to search on my profile.
Dispatch Flambert Soulmate Fic [#You're Under My Skin]
Dispatch Flambert 5 times Fic [#It's Not That Gay If You Think About It]
Ideas/Thoughts/Random Stuff [#Word Vomit]
Spidey/Deadpool Angst [#No Hero Coming]
Flambae/Robert Break up. Not a full fic just random notes [#Flambert Breakup]
Saints Row stuff [#Saints row]
Side Note:
I'm thinking of setting up a Ko-fi. I kinda want to do some nsfw art for some of my fics
[bit embarrassed about that since I havent posted nsfw art before. Unless you count that one of Flambae in the pod but it doesn't really show any private parts]
But I'm still figuring stuff out. Also still post censored versions on here.
I also wanna start up a Ko-fi because it'd be nice to have a bit of pocket money but I'm unsure on how to price things.
I might be getting a bit ahead of myself [especially since it takes me forever to actually write/draw], I am enjoying making fan content a lot and do intend to expand to other fandoms when I have time to.
Robert doesn't care if people know he's Bi, but he also doesn't care to tell anyone. It's just not really big deal to him.
Until one night, when he and the team are at the bar. Robert gets hit on by a guy well waiting to grab shots for the team.
Robert flirts back hard and ends up with the guys number.
He returns to the table with the shots and the team starts ribbing him about getting the guys number.
Flambae specifically says something like "you're not even into guys. Leave the gay men for the rest of us"
(I'ma say this happened at Crypto and that the guy was another super which is why Flambae is jealous maybe? Or maybe it's because Robert actually took the guys number)
Then Robert drops the bomb casually that he actually swings both ways, which nearly makes Flambae do a spit take.
Flambae: Visi told us you were straight!
Visi: Yeah! What the hell man you told me you were straight!
Robert: honestly I just didn't want to give you any more ammo to try and peg me.
Robert shrugs and Visi doesn't even bother trying to argue because, yeah, she's been talking about pegging him even though he still won't give her a chance.
Flambae has a bit of internal gay panic and leaves the table for a bit as casually as he can in this situation.
After that incident the team is relentless, teasing Robert and Flambae to get together.
But it just makes Flambae more defensive because YES he wants Robert. But he doesn't want to get with him just because they both happen to like dudes and are on the same team! And that's pretty much what the team is annoyingly implying!
(they're teasing Robert in a mix between trying to get him to get him to get the hint that Flambae likes him and because they like bothering him. They're teasing Flambae because they already know he's had a thing for Robert for a while. They don't actually think they should get together because they're both dudes who like dudes, they're just being assholes like usual)
Eventually the team backs off. Moved on to the next target per usual once the initial novelty of their current ribbing has worn off.
(they moved on because they knew Flambae wasn't going to do shit and just get more defensive if they didn't stop teasing him. And they're sick of his bitch ass not making his move)
Then comes the dance of Flambae trying to flirt with Robert, and failing. (Maybe he thinks Flambae is just trying to play him at first since Flambae has had hook ups in the past idk)
Robert eventually catches on to Flambaes feelings but let's him suffer through his failed flirting attempts a bit longer because he finds it funny, then eventually during one of Flambaes attempts he just cuts Flambae off and asks him out to dinner.
They start dating. They keep it secret.
The team figured it out but they mind their business because of course bets have been put in place, and they can't interfere too much or else they'll be at risk of losing.
Bets on if they're official or not.
Bets on if they'll get caught or they'll tell the team. And bets on when this all may happen
(I had the thought of Sonar catching them making out in the closet, but for the sake of winning his own bet he pretends that they aren't there, grabs something and leaves.)
That's all. That's it. It's probably already been done before.
Unrelated I've been busy lately so I only have half a chapter of the soulmate and the five time fic :') hopefully I can finish and post them soon
The first time it happened it caught Robert completely off guard.
It had to of been a couple of months after the Shroud incident.
Flambae and Roberts relationship had been improving. Flambae had become Roberts workout buddy, much to Roberts dismay. He also started making Robert lunches because according to him “The depressed twink refuses to take care of himself and is going to die.”
But of course Flambae was just doing it because he secretly cared for everyone on his team. Even if he claimed it was only because it’d be too embarrassing if he let Mecha Man died from a twinkie overdoes.
They go on missions together now too, Robert goes on missions with everyone but he was a little worried when it came to Flambae.
His worries turned out to be unfounded though. They turned out to have great synergy. Roberts synergy with everyone on the team is good, but he wasn’t expecting it to be so smooth with Flambae.
It kind of makes sense though with how well they’ve gotten to know each other and how seriously Flambae actually takes the job. When he’s not showboating that is.
They were on a mission together the first time Flambae decided to suggest a hook up with Robert.
They were doing clean up after a villain with ice powers went nuclear on one of the big highways. Taking the villain down was way easier than the clean up job.
Flambae was melting while Robert was moving debris and cars while piloting his mech.
Flambae: Ever done it in the suit before?
Multiple people have asked that at this point, Robert was unfazed by it. The main camera of his mech shifted, causing its head to turn to look at Flambae.
Robert: Allllll the time. Me and my endless list of lovers have orgies in it in fact.
Flambae: Aye! it was a genuine question. No need get all sarcastic on me.
Robert smirked, rolling his eyes and turned back to lifting a car from where it had crashed into a block of ice.
Robert: Right, locker room talk. Well no. I have not desecrated my family’s heirloom.
Flambae: Too scared to do it in your granddads chair?
Flambae flew closer, nearing the mechs shoulder as he carefully blasted the big block of ice.
Robert: Actually.. Royd has replaced the chair, this ones comfortable enough to sleep in.
Flambae: Stop. Don’t even start Bob-Bob. After all the trouble we all went through to get you a bed, if I find out you’re sleeping in that tin can then I will personally set you on fire. And rehome Beef to Chase full time.
Flambae flew in front of the Mechs ‘face’ so he could lecture Robert. Robert smirked fondly despite Flambae not being able to see it. It was sweet when the team fussed over him, it took some time getting used to.
Robert: Aww. Ya’ know, I’m starting to think you actually care about me.
Flambae: Psh. You wish.
Flambae was quick to return to melting ice, so Robert just snickered and returned to moving cars. There was silence only for a moment before Flambae tried striking up another conversation.
Flambae: What about just the costume? Like outside the mech?
Robert: You really wanna know about my sex life, huh?
Flambae: You don’t have a sex life. You have a very dead sex past. Unless..?
Robert: Heh, yeah no. It’s still dead.
Flambae: Knew it. Poor poor sad sexless Robert.
Robert was trying not to laugh, but the amusement could be heard in his voice as he talked.
Robert: Just so you know. If I wanted to hook up with someone I could. I get offers.
Flambae: Ha! Only because Visi has weird issues and Blond Blazer has a thing for the uh.. what’s it called? Stray puppy type? Fixer uppers?
Robert: Har har.
Flambae: No really. Why didn’t you try to make it work out with either of them?
Robert hated that question, it was another one he’d been asked a lot. He usually brushes it off, sometimes gets a bit snippy when he’s in a particularly bad mood. Flambae’s just being nosy like he always is. Roberts not even sure if he’d keep it to himself if he answered honestly, or if he’d go and report back to the rest of the team about the latest ‘Robert gossip’.
Robert probably paused for too long because Flambae started talking again.
Flambae: You don’t have to answer that. Just yeah. Locker room talk. My bad.
There was another pause, Robert debated for a moment before deciding to turn this moment into a bonding experience.
Robert: I don’t think they really saw me, just saw who they wanted to see.
Flambae: Wow. That’s deep. Sorry to hear.
Robert: Guess so. Is what it is.
Robert gave a shrug that couldn’t be seen from inside his mech.
Robert: Don’t go around telling people that though, I don’t want Visi or Mandy to feel any kind of way about it. I’ve moved past it and so have they.
Flambae: Of course man, I’m not a snitch.
Robert: .. Also I have.
Flambae: Have what?
Robert: Done it in the flight suit.
Flambae: You— Robert! You dog! I was just messing with you when I asked that! I didn’t think you actually would have done it!
Robert couldn’t help but chuckle at Flambaes surprise.
Robert: People like the mask.
Flambae: La la la! TMI Bob-Bob!
Robert: You asked.
Flambae: We all make mistakes.
It didn’t take them long to finish the clean up. They were both heading back to SDN. Flambae decided to land next to the Mech and continue chatting well Robert climbed out of it.
Once Robert was out he shuddered at the cold air.
“You good?”
Flambae clearly noticed the full body shiver that just ran through Robert.
“Yeah, just a little too comfortable in the Mech. Royd gave it heating and cooling. Wish I could get the same for my desk.”
Flambae was walking a little closer to Roberts side now. His body producing enough heat to reach Robert and fend of the cold. Robert quietly appreciated the warmth as they walked back into the building.
“You know.. Shifts almost over.”
Flambae was leaning into Roberts space, stepping in front of him to block their path down the hallway.
“We could go into one of the conference rooms.. I could warm you up.”
Flambaes face was close, he was giving off a lot of heat.. and the way was looking at Robert.. was he flirting right now? Robert didn’t take it too seriously though. He folded his arms and leaned his side against the wall, looking up at Flambaes smug cat grin and strikingly locked on eyes.
“You coming on to me Flambae?”
Robert flirted back a bit, smirking up at him since they were obviously just joking around. Though he felt a twist in his gut, anxious on if Flambae might actually be serious.
“So what if I am?”
Flambae casually leaned against the wall as well, propping his arm over Roberts head.
That gave Robert pause, but he was still assuming this was just a game of chicken between the two.
“Thought I wasn’t your type.”
Flambae leaned in, their noses at least 3 inches apart from each other, Flambae held eye contact the whole time.
“Exceptions can be made..”
Roberts eyes widened. He stood up straight and stepped back, finally listening to that twist in his gut that was telling him that this wasn’t a game. His eyes darted away well he tried thinking of what to say. He was hoping that Flambae would cut him off, say sike and laugh at him. But instead Flambae just had a serious look on his face and didn’t look away.
“Look, Flambae I uh.. I sort of thought you were just messing with me. I can’t actually..”
Flambae tilted his head expectantly, albeit sadly. Robert sighed. With all their banter and weird friendship, he never thought that Flambae would seriously want to try anything with him.
“I’m sorry if I led you on, I thought we were joking. I’m still straight.”
Flambae stood up straight and took a step back as well, finally looking away to look at the ground now.
“Oh yeah. Just thought that maybe you’d.. I mean if you were curious.. That was stupid. My bad.”
Flambae was avoiding eye contact, he looked like he was about to walk away and escape the situation. So Robert quickly stepped forward to stop him. Seeing him dejected was so much worse than if he had just got mad at Robert or made fun of him.
“Hey. We’re still cool, right?”
Flambae gave a nervous smile.
“Yeah- Totally I mean- If you’re still cool with me. I know straight guys don’t really like getting hit on by guys so if you know.. If I made you uncomfortable.”
Robert quickly cut him off, not wanting him to think he messed up. He gave Flambae a smile.
“No it’s fine. I’ve dealt with way worse from this team, at this point its just another day. Plus a little flirting is fun”
Flambae snickered and eyed Robert.
“You sure you aren’t a little gay? You’re just a little too comfortable flirting.”
Robert let out a dramatic breath.
“Sorry to say but pretty sure I’m still straight. Just not insecure about my sexuality.”
“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it”
“Nice try, but I think I’ll have to knock this one.”
Flambae stopped blocking the way and starts walking along side Robert, his tense shoulders from the rejection slowly easy.
“Eh worth a shot.”
Robert just grinned up at him as they walked.
“What made you shoot your shot anyways?”
Flambae shrugged.
“What? Everyone else got to shoot their shots, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”
They just quietly chuckled before Flambae quietly added.
“That and.. You’re not as bad as I said you were. Don’t tell anyone about this by the way, I will kill you.”
Flambae brought a flamed hand up between them, but Robert wasn’t scared, if anything the threat made him more comfortable, seeing Flambae be his usual aggressive self. He just rolled his eyes.
“It’s our secret. And.. You’re not as bad as I say either..”
They quieted down once they got into a more public area. Flambae was heading to one of the wreck rooms well Robert went to check on Beef.
When he watched Flambae leave, he could swear he saw a tint of red on the mans ears. It was kind of cute seeing Flambae embarrassed or flustered considering how big and bad he likes to act.
That was the first time it happened, and it just kept happening after that.
More word vomit/ideas that I didn't feel like putting in my notes.
Red ridding hood AU
Honestly this AU could be used for different ships but the first ones that come to mind are Flambert (Robert x Flambae) and Spideypool (Spider-Man x Deadpool)
So the wolf role would obviously go to the more villainy type (Flambae/Deadpool)
Red Ridding Hood would be the civilian identity of the hero type (Robert/Peter)
Woodsmen being the hero identity (MechaMan/Spider-Man)
Which of course is a plot twist because this whole time the wolf thought little red was defenseless, only to turn out to be the mighty woodsmen of the woods.
Unrelated Bonus Swap AU ideas
Classics:
Power swap
Backstory swap
Body swap
Role swap
Personality swap
Instead of randomly swapping due to some sort of random incident, they could be swapped from the start of their lives.
Been reading Revenge is Best Photographed by That_Spider_Smut on AO3 (Spideypool fic) and oh my gosh
Instead of Deadpool having White and Yellow in his head, in this fic Deadpool IS Yellow and White is his split personality/alter and it was such a good read.
I love the concept of Yellow just being Deadpool and White being an alter rather than just a voice
(also smut warning for those that want to read the fic)
Someone commented on my Flambert breakup post and brought me back to it.
So here's more word vomit
Months go by and at this point Robert realizes he still loves Flambae even if he debates on if they're good together when they're dating.
He's on the fence about getting back together and how to go about getting back together.
He isn't sure on how to navigate this and doesn't want to deal with everyone around them being on his ass about not getting back with him sooner.
He knows Flambae isn't going anywhere. He's still lingering around like a lost puppy.
But Flambae seems to be adjusting to just being friends.. maybe they're better off this way?
At least that's what Robert thinks until one night the team is at the bar and Flambae is sitting alone at the bar waiting for his drink.
Robert catches someone saddle up next to him out of the corner of his eye.
He doesn't think much of it at first, until he looks over and sees the man is practically cuddling up inyo Flambaes side and Flambae isn't pushing him away.
His grip tightens on his drink and he feels his heartbreak a bit.
They're not together.. Flambae can get with someone else if he wants. He can't expect him to wait around for Robert forever.
Robert knows that this isn't any of his business anymore. He's the one that gave up on the relationship, that didn't take Flambae back after the air cleared between them.
And yet, he's already walking over to the bar and reaching for Flambaes shoulder.
Yeah he's a little drunk, but he's acting more wasted than he actually is when he leans on the bar next to Flambae and orders himself another drink.
Flambae blue screens.
He doesn't want to push Robert away. But he doesn't seem to want to push the other guy away either.
The other guy gets a little catty but tries covering it with feign politeness.
Robert has the defense that he's just waiting for his drink and standing next to his friend well he waits.
But Robert is a bitch when he drinks so some sarcasm gets thrown at the guy.
Flambae tries to settle Robert down, saying he should get back to the table once he gets his drink. Robert agrees despite being annoyed internally that he's being sent away.
He ends up downing his drink in one go once it gets there and trudging off back towards his table.
Now Flambae is conflicted because did Robert just get jealous? Or does he just not want Flambae to move on??
The guy makes a snide comment about Robert to Flambae, nothing too serious, just about how his friend seems like a handful with how he drinks.
But it's enough for Flambae to shake the guy off his side.
Flambae should leave Robert alone.. it's not his business to take care of him and it'll probably only make Robert angry if he tries.
But he's drunk and he's gone from the table to wandering towards the exit alone and he doesn't like the way people are looking at him--
He's already following after him
Outside he finds Robert leaning against a wall, some distance away from where Bruno is enjoying the bar by watching through one of Malevolas portals.
When he checks on Robert, Robert starts apologizing for messing things up for Flambae and the guy he was talking to. Poor guy looks wasted, and Flambae is fumbling a bit with trying to help without overstepping.
But then Robert gives him an in by actually asking for help.
Next thing they know Flambaes helping Robert home, Robert even asks for help to his apartment door instead of just letting himself be dropped off at the building.
Then Flambaes being invited inside and he really shouldn't be going in because Roberts really drunk and he'll probably be mad in the morning--
But Roberts practically begging him.
Robert kisses him when he comes inside and god has Flambae been missing this, craving this for month that he just lets himself give into it.
At first Roberts lips are determined, like trying to make sure Flambae doesn't leave. But then they're soft and longing, it's enough to bring a man to his knees with how much Flambaes craved a sweet kiss like this from the man.
Even in their last few months of dating their kisses hadn't been this sweet since they had been arguing a lot.
Then Robert pulls away. Flambae feels his chest tighten at the incoming rejection and regret that Robert is about to give.
But instead Robert just says they should go to sleep, even offers to share the bed.
Flambae is fighting a losing battle. He knows if he cuddles up to that man right now that he's going to be done for.
All this time of learning how to just be friends is falling through the cracks! He should at least take the couch--
But Roberts giving him puppy eyes and at this point he knows Roberts doing this on purpose.. that the little shit probably planned this from the moment he ordered his last drink from the bar.
But fuck if that doesn't just make Flambae want to give in more, because it means Robert still cares in ways that he's been pretending not to.
They're cuddling in bed and it feels so right to be back where he belongs. He's squeezing Robert a little tighter as if fearing he'll suddenly change his mind and kick Flambae out, but Robert just nuzzles into the cuddles that he's probably also been missing.
Flambae prays that morning never comes, and Robert prays for the same.
(Roberts a bitch when he's drunk and won't let Flambae move on)
Roberts been propositioned for sex from members of the Z-team multiple times.
He’s pretty sure they’re joking, most of the time. Most of the time.
Even Bruno, Prism and Colm had made the jokes about taking him back at least once. But he’s more than positive that they were joking.
Waterboy was tricked by Flambae and Malevola into inviting Robert over in a way that suggested he was looking for something ‘spicy’ as he said.
It was only when Robert was trying to let him down gently that he heard the devilish pair laughing behind a corner that Robert was able to put two and two together.
as it turned out Waterboy was inviting him over for noodles.
He wanted to try and make spicy noodles.
Poor kid.
There’s a few times where he was sure that one of them really was trying to take him home though.
Like with Sonar, and he wishes that Sonar hadn’t been serious.
It was when he was trying to kick his crack habit and the team had been supporting him.
Robert had caught him trying to sneak off, probably trying to call his dealer. After failing to bribe Robert with money and favours, the hybrid practically dropped to his knees, offering to blow Robert if Robert would just turn a blind eye this one time.
Robert of course did the responsible thing and brought Sonar back to SDN, it was hard seeing his friend like that. He never brought up the incident, and Sonar was quietly thankful for that.
Malevola made a pass at him one time, nothing aggressive, just a flirty invitation.
Coop did the same, but Robert doubts Colm actually wanted a third like she was suggesting.
Visi had of course made many attempts, but thankfully she eventually took the hint and relaxed a bit. Or as much as possible when it came to her.
Phenomaman had as well at one point too but well.. It had been different. Phenomaman had been hopeful that maybe his genitals would be compatible with human males, since human females had not worked out. And who better to ask for help than the oh so helpful Robert.
Robert had to shut that down fast. Phenomaman wasn’t even interested in guys, but he had reached a point where he was willing to try anything to at least see if maybe it would spark some connection.
Poor guy was lonely. He had gotten into relationships after Blazer, but all of them were short lived, and just left Phenomaman even more depressed. Robert was almost tempted to agree just out of pure pity.
Thankfully he was able to pass him off to Flambae, who enlisted Prism. The pair made it their personal mission to get Phenomaman into a relationship and teach him how to keep one.
Robert was worried about what they were teaching him, but he decided that it just wasn’t his problem.
Then there was Flambae..
They bantered all the time, and argued as much as they flirted. Flambae was a bit more consistent.
Once a month Flambae would shoot his shot, then be shot down. It felt like a running joke at this point, one that they were both in on, something that became routine now. Sometimes if he was feeling extra frisky it’d be twice a month. Which is where we’re at now.
The bar was crowded.
Robert had been standing at the bar for a while, waiting for the bartender to be free for a second so he could order the team more drinks. His back was starting to twinge from standing there so long.
A warm hand slid across his back, rubbing up and down until it found the offending muscle and rested firmly on it. Providing a soothing heat that had Robert leaning back into the mans grip.
“Easy now Rob Bob, don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”
Flambae snickered into Roberts ear, still supporting the weight that Robert was leaning onto him with just the palm of his hand.
“You’ll scare away all the potential studs.”
Robert snickered in return, tilting his head back against Flambaes shoulder to look up at him. One hand reached behind himself to grab Flambaes wrist, trying to keep the heated palm on his aching back.
“I’m sure the studs can manage without you until we all get our drinks.”
“Mm I dunno Bobby. Don’t you know I’m in high demand?”
Flambae moved his hand away despite Robert trying to hold it there. Instead he wrapped both his arms around Roberts middle and rested his chin on his shoulder. Flambaes warmth surrounded him, it was like being in a warm bath, or wrapped in a blanket after it just came out of the dryer. Robert nearly sank into him.
Flambaes hands rubbed up and down Roberts sides in small slow strokes. His hands weren’t crossing any lines, Robert didn’t have many boundaries left when it came to the Z team.
“Unless.. You’re offering to take their place. How about it Bob Bob? Got some beer at home that you won’t have to pay for, and I could take care of that back of yours.”
Flambae gave his signature cat-like grin, and Robert will admit, Flambae is getting smoother with his offers, or maybe Roberts just easy. Because some free beer and a back rub sounds like a good deal to him, but Flambae wants to do a lot more than just rub his back, and Robert isn’t really into that.
“Good offer, but I don’t want the studs to get too lonely. How about I pay for your drink and we call it even.”
Flambae just huffed and rolled his eyes playfully.
“Eh, you were going to pay for my drink anyways.”
Flambae finally manages to flag down the bartender for Robert. He no longer has his arms wrapped around Robert, but he does return his palm to Roberts back.
Robert had to think for a second well Flambae ordered a long list of drinks for the team.
“Tacos then?”
Flambae looked back down at Robert, grinning again.
“Oho. Buying me dinner first? What a gentleman you are Robert.”
Robert chuckled as he lightly elbowed the man behind him. His face was heating up, probably from how hot it was getting from being so close to the hothead.
“I’ve always told you, if you ever wanted to go grab dinner all you have is ask.”
Flambae froze up for a second, then his usual sputter and huff came.
“Psh- last time I tried that the whole team tagged along.”
Robert remembered that fondly. He did feel slightly bad since Flambae had been moody for that whole dinner, but he had a hard time saying no to the team. They all ended up having a good time by the end of it, even Flambae.
They chatted well waiting for their drinks.
Flambae helped carry the trays back to the table, keeping one hand on the small of Roberts back the entire time. He didn’t end up leaving the booth to go stud hunting like he had said he would.
I loved the soulmate reveal in today’s update. I’ve been looking forward to one of them noticing and it was done in such a juicy way. Especially with the last line. I’m excited to see how the rest of the story plays out
Thank you! ❤️
I was a little iffy on how I wrote his reaction but I'm just gonna go with it!
For one he didn’t have an official flight license yet. He had one of those flight passes that allowed him to do hero work until he could get his official license, which he had been putting off because he has way more important things to be doing then go to school to learn how to fly. He already knew how to fucking fly.
Plus Robert has yet found the time to send him to flight school.
And for two! He can’t drive his niece around without a car.. Luckily his sister agreed to let him borrow her car so he could still take the little one on ice cream dates.
He had just flown into work to find that Phenomaman was no longer there, and instead Waterboy of all people had take his place.
Robert had already informed them all that Phenomaman and Waterboy would be rotating days but he was hoping that they’d just keep Phenomaman on. Guess he really was too depressed to handle the job full time.
Waterboy can’t even handle a job as a janitor but they’re trying to put him onto hero work? They really do just let anyone in here…
Of course Flambae and the team had to make some comments, but they tried not to overdo it considering they did still feel a bit indebt to Robert. Still, it was clear non of them were overly happy about the new arrival.
Adding Phenomaman was one thing, the dude was annoying and pathetic but he didn’t hinder the team any. For the most part at least.
But Waterboy? He was making a mess- not to mention he was taking everyone out.
Flambae was sent after a purse snatcher. He flew to the area the call was made then tracked the snatcher down. Waterboy was supposed to cut him off so they could make the arrest.
Though Flambae didn’t really need the help, he’d have the purse snatcher kissing the pavement long before Waterbitch shows up—
WHOOSH!!
Water shot from an alleyway and nearly took out Flambae, luckily he was able to react fast enough and dodge the soaring water and the puddle it made, he flew right over it and landed on the purse snatcher, successfully catching him.
He lifted his head towards the alleyway, expecting to see a water-main break or a busted fire hydrant.
Instead, he sees Waterboy, shaking in the shadows like an edgy wet chihuahua.
“So-sorr- apoloi- my apologises I mean- I- Still working on my pow-po a-aim-”
He gave an awkward wave as he tried to walk over, nearly slipping on his own puddle.
Flambae just groaned as he hauled the thief up, twisting his arm behind his back so he couldn’t run away. He started walking the criminal back to the original call spot where the police were waiting, he flew off once the police had the guy in cuffs.
And once he got back to SDN he saw- Puddles. Puddles everywhere from Waterboy that people kept slipping on, and that wetnoodle tried mopping up only to spread it more and make the floors more slippery.
“Oh okay. Another Puddle.”
Golems disappointed voice came through the comms. Poor guy has been trying to avoid becoming a mud puddle.
“Waterbitch almost took me out back there.”
Not to be a snitch but how many times is this guy going to take someone out before Robert does something about him??
“Is there a return policy on this motherfucker?”
Prism was unimpressed at this point, and Malevola was getting frustrated, probably because she’s had to heal with whatever injury people got from their slips.
“Yeah, maybe we get someone who doesn’t suck instead?”
“Mm-my uh, sorry f-for the puddles, it’s i-involuntary.”
That stuttery voice came through the comms, making Flambae roll his eyes.
“Ease up, it’s his first day.”
Robert just made Flambae roll his eyes even harder, because he was of course going to defend Wetboy.
He gets Robert wants to see the good in people, wants to do the ‘heroic’ thing and help Waterboy, but this is a bit much.
Still.. he found himself not really talking back against him.
“Can it be his last day too?”
Punch Up was the one saying earlier that 10 is a crowd, and he’s right.
Flambae was sitting in one of the wreck rooms, legs kicked up on the coffee table as he rested.
Then Roberts tired voice tingled in his ear
“Well if he’s so awful, show him the ropes.”
“Some things you just can’t teach.”
Punch Up had a point.. Everyone on the team wasn’t taught, they’ve all been figuring shit out as they go.
“Okay, sounds like quitting talk to me.”
Flambae shouldn’t take the bait.. He doesn’t want to help with fucking Waterbitch. But his lips were moving as soon as Robert had finished his sentence.
“You calling us quitters?”
“Prove me wrong.”
Robert challenged, and Flambae should NOT be so into that right now.
Yes he wants to prove Robert wrong and rub it in his face that HA! Flambae CAN turn a loser into a hero and doesn’t give up on any task!
But he also gets a rush from specifically Robert challenging him. He’s already starting to feel warm at the thought of Robert having to give him praise for a good job.
He closed his eyes and he could picture it.
Brown eyes looking up at him through long lashes, Robert making an adorably annoyed face as he has to admit that Flambae is actually the best and he should be a lot nicer to his best hero—
The thought was cut short by someone entering the room, and he had to huff and shake his head free of the thoughts that continuously plagued him.
First shift ended, and Flambae was so over slipping in Wetboys puddles.
He headed over to the breakroom and grabbed his lunch out of the fridge. He didn’t overly feel like cooking, or waiting in line at some food joint, so he had packed himself a simple sandwich for lunch, which thankfully wasn’t tossed out for once. He had angrily drew flames and his name all over the bag just to be sure.
Waterboy was probably too busy with his shift today to go around throwing out everyones food to starve them.
He sat next to Prism at one of the tables in the breakroom with a huff.
“Sick of this shit man..”
Prism was eating a salad, not even bothering to fix her hair that had been messed up from her own slip up when Robert had sent her on a mission with Waterboy.
“I hear you. Didn’t think that wet noodle was capable of so much damage”
Flambae just grumbled well rubbing at his knee, eating his sandwich with his other hand. Prism was just eating quietly in defeat until she noticed Flambaes movements.
“He fuck you up that bad, huh?”
“No, well maybe. I don’t know. Feels more like that tingly bullshit I’ve been dealing with.”
He just leaned back with a sigh, setting his sandwich back down on the table well rubbing at his knee with an annoyed face.
Prisms eyes shifted to him, then she caught a glimpse of the glass door that led to the rest of the office, she could see Robert bent over rubbing his knees. Her eyes flickered between Flambae and Robert, they were rubbing the same knee.
“Uh.. Did your doctor ever figure out the cause of said ‘tingles’?”
Flambae opened his eyes to glance at her with a shrug.
“Not really. Uh, stress maybe? Some mental disorders can effect physical health so, ya know. Could be that.”
“Uh-huh.. And a soulmate was never an option?”
Her eyes went back to tracking Robert.
“Why does everyone want me to settle down? I mean I will once i’m ready but I’m still young!”
Flambae let go of his knee and got defensive, only to regret it a moment later and go back to rubbing his knee. It wasn’t really painful, but it was way more persistent today than it had been any other day.
“No I mean- You know, soulmate tingles?”
Flambae looked confused.
“What the fuck are you talking about. What does that have to do with my knee?”
“How have you been alive this long without knowing what a soulmate is?”
Prism pointed her fork at him in frustration.
“I know what a soulmate is! I just don’t know what that romantic stuff has to do with my knee.”
Prism threw her arms up in exasperation before standing up and grabbing him by his ponytail, turning his head toward the glass door where Robert could be seen limping, favouring his left side, the same side that Flambae claimed his knee was tingling.
“Soulmates SHARE feelings sometimes. And it can sometimes come across as tingling.”
Flambae stared at Robert, his chest started tightening.
“You don’t mean that— that’s a real fucking thing!?”
He abruptly shot up and started pacing the breakroom as Robert limped out of sight.
“Of course it’s a— Seriously!? how have you gone this long without knowing!? Didn’t you say your sisters husband felt like he was going through contractions when your niece was born??”
Prism just stared at him, baffled by how he’s survived this long without knowing, especially since he gloated about his parents being soulmates and so are his sister and brother in law.
“I thought he was having sympathy pains! Or being a little bitch! I don’t know!”
He threw his hands up into his hair, the perfectly gelled strands now falling out of place.
Prism stood up and followed his pacing, fanning him with her hands, clearly he was heating up without noticing.
“Alright Bae’ just chill, this isn’t a bad thing- You like all that soulmate junk don’t you??”
“Yeah! But I didn’t know it was real! I thought it was just like- finding your person! Ya know! Someone that just-just clicks with you!”
His breathing was short and fast. He shouldn’t be panicking, why is he panicking? Soulmates being real isn’t a bad thing— But ROBERT being his soulmate might be a bad thing! Scrawny sassy annoying Robert is who he’s supposed to spend the rest of his day with??
Yeah he sort of wanted to blow his back out but he wasn’t thinking about blowing his back out for the rest of time!!
Prism grabbed his shoulders, her gloves luckily somewhat protecting her from the heat of his skin.
“Listen bae, breathe. You’re freakin’ out over nothing. Soulmates are an optional thing anyways, if you ignore it enough it’ll fade away. Plus we don’t even know for sure if that’s the cause.”
Flambae took a deep breath and simmered down.
Prisms right. This isn’t confirmed to be the cause, maybe its a coincidence that Robert has a sore knee on the same knee that Flambae is getting tingles from.. Though if Robert was his soulmate.. it would explain the in-explainable attraction he has to the little white boy.
“Well.. Maybe I don’t want it to go away..?”
Prism stepped back and gave her hands a clap.
“I know something was up between you and him! That whole leaning over your shoulder during our first meeting was just weirdly intimate from my view.”
“Pft- It wasn’t like that! I mean, I don’t think it was at least. I don’t know what that was.”
Flambae huffed, shoving his hands in his now messy hair. Yeah as a kid he romanticised the idea of soulmates, having something like his parents had, but he thought he was doomed to be alone. No one could handle his temper before, and the few people that could he just wasn’t attracted to.
Now the universe just sends him some random guy that’s apparently made for him and now what?? they date? get married?? white picket fence??
He plopped back down in his seat with his head in his hands.
Prism crouched down in front of him and softened her voice.
“Listen bae, just try it out. It’s not like you’re doomed to forever with him if you end up not liking it. I mean Punch Up and Coop are soulmates and they’re not together.”
His head shot up.
“You think Robert and I aren’t going to work out??”
“woah there, nobody said that. I mean he’s a little lame, his name IS Roberto Robertoson the third.”
“yeah. that really is a lame name.”
If they get married they’re either keeping their own last names or Robert is going to have to take Flambaes— He really shouldn’t be thinking about that yet. He dropped his hands and looked up at her
“So.. How do I prove he’s my soulmate?”
Prism gave a shrug.
“Just got to spend time with him until it clicks for both of you. You can start by getting on his good side.”
Flambae looked back out the glass door to see Waterboy standing in his own puddle with a mop, looking like he was just pushing the water around the floor instead of productively soaking it up. Sonar and Coup were standing near him, just watching with disapproving faces.
With a long sigh, he started tidying his hair and getting up out of his seat.
“Don’t say I never didn’t do anything for love.”
“Okay. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”
Prism stood up straight and started fixing her hair as well.
“Me too.”
Flambae put his lunch away and headed outside of the breakroom. He marched over to Waterboy and snatched the mop out of his hand.
“You have to wring it out piss boy, you’re just spreading your puddle to the entire floor.”
“Then go buy a new one. Or tell Blazer to. I don’t care just get out of here you’re a dripping stuttering mess.”
Waterboy looked like he shrunk into himself, but he did start awkwardly making his way out.
“R-Right. I’ll get- go do that..”
Flambae looked over to see Coop and Sonar still standing there, looking amused, probably thinking they’re gonna see Waterboy get verbally chewed out or burned.
“What the fuck are you two staring at? Don’t you have jobs to get to??”
They both seemed surprised to have been called out, but turn to walk away well talking to each other.
“Geez what crawled up his ass?”
Sonar wasn’t quite whispering like he probably thought he was.
“Maybe nothing, that might be the problem.”
Coop spoke in her usual deadpan voice, but they both snickered at her response as they walked away.
Flambae only shook his head.
He looked from left to right to see if anyone was watching. His only spectator was Prism in the breakroom who was finishing up her salad.
He’d rather no one be watching but he’ll have to make an exception.
He ignited his hands and used his fire to evaporate the water, he had to be careful not to leave any scorch marks.
He’d just have to clean up after Waterboy and give him some pointers here and there.
He’d already planned to give Waterboy some pointers when they were on missions together because of Roberts little dare, but now he’d have to put in more effort.
Robert better fucking appreciate it too.
Chase: Alright assholes. Robert had to step out so I will be your dispatcher until he comes back. Which means you fucknuts better listen up. Shifts about to start back up so get back from your little lunch dates.
Flambae: Where’s Robert?
Chase: Non of ya business. He’s out, he’ll be back, and until then I’m here.
There was a chorus of groans, everyone knowing they were going to get cussed out whether they actually did something wrong or not.
Flambae was mostly sulking because he’s supposed to be charming his supposed soulmate right now! Not the old geezer! No offence Chase..
But he could use this to his advantage..
The thought of talking to Robert again after finding out about this soulmate stuff makes his stomach twist in knots. So having a bit more time to settle down isn’t a bad idea..
He doesn’t need to get this all done in one day after all!
He just has to be nicer to that wetrag and clean up after him today, that should get him points with Robert, then he can focus on REALLY wooing the man.
So he relaxed a bit.
Rambled to Prism whenever they were together, basically reiterating the soulmate thing again and again because it was all he could think about right now. He helped out Waterboy anytime they were paired, Prism was playing along because she’s a good damn friend.
She also kept pointing out that calling Waterboy names and berating him wasn’t the same as being a good teacher but eh, he’s working on it.
Then he heard it.. His ear tingled right away at that voice, and now he was wondering if that was apart of the soulmate effect too.
Robert: Sorry about that team but I’m back now, hope I didn’t miss too much.
Flambae felt his heart rate pick up but quickly tried to calm down, because what if Robert felt that too? How much was Robert feeling without noticing?
The team ribbed at him in greeting, except for Waterboy who was kissing ass with a ‘Welc- G-Glad to have you back sir.’
Flambae: So, what happen man? Must have been pretty important to have left us with Chase.
Invisigal: Probably crapped his pants from all the coffee he drinks and needed to go change.
Gross. Flambae did not need that mental image of the guy he wants to woo. Thanks Visi.
Thankfully Robert manages to completely trash that image by sending his heart racing again.
Robert: Aww. You sound worried Flambae. Miss me that much?
Flambae: Ha! Psh- No. Just not a fan of when the grumpy old fart gets left in charge.
Shit. He could have been way smoother than that! It just catches him off guard when Robert teases him like that.
Malevola: So you like when Robert is in charge is what I’m hearing.
Flambae: No- That is not what I said.
Prism: That’s what it sounded like to me too~
Flambae: What the fuc—
Well- It’s probably best to flirt on private channels or in person, so he doesn’t have these fucks messing it up for him! Not that he was doing a great job on his own- but he could’ve saved it!!
Sonar: Yep, I heard it too. No shame in it, Roberts just a natural born leader. Like me.
Back off BatBoner.
Coupe: You couldn’t lead yourself out of a wet beg.
Flambae felt himself start to flush and heat up. God this was embarrassing.. The team had started to move on, poking fun at each other now, but Flambae was still embarrassed.
He huffs and shakes it off.
He’ll stick to his original plan. Just be good for the day to win some brownie points, then tomorrow he can make his move.
Flambae did his best to hold back on losing his temper with Waterboy, but he couldn’t help it if he still got snippy. He’s doing his best okay!? There’s only so many times Flambae is willing to get splashed in the crossfire well holding his tongue.
Waterboy looked like he was dreading everytime he got paired up with Flambae. He seemed to appreciate the help and pointers, but the kid was getting more and more stressed from Flambaes ‘teachings’
Sadly, since he was currently the only one helping Waterboy out, Robert kept pairing them more.
Then there was the rest of the team who kept teasing Waterboy, luckily they were smart enough not to tease Flambae too much to avoid his temper.
But Waterboy got more anxious when he got teased, then his powers would flare up, then there’d be more puddles and slips! So now Flambae had to defend the poor bastard and shoo the others away.
Shift had finally ended.
Waterboy slinked away as soon as possible, well the others start taking out their earpieces and heading for the locker rooms.
Flambae was lingering though. He wanted to be the last one on the team to sign off so he could spend the longest with Robert. It’s stupid he knows, but he wants to spend more time with Robert, maybe he’ll stop by his desk before leaving.
Everyone disconnected, and he was about to do the same. But then the ping of being moved into a private channel rung out.
Robert: Hey uh, could you hang back for a minute?
Flambae immediately straightened up as if Robert was in front of him.
Flambae: Sure thing Bob Bob, what’s up?
Robert: I just wanted to thank you for looking after Waterboy today. I know you’re not exactly his biggest fan but.. It was very big of you to still help him out.
YES! He wasn’t expecting results so quickly, but of course Robert noticed how good he was being. Robert was vigilant of everyone on the Z-team, but Flambae liked to think hope that he paid extra attention to Flambae.
Flambae: Psh, heh, yeah. Ya know, just doing what a hero is supposed to.
Robert: Yeah well, I appreciate it, hero.
Well, it looks like Robert calling Flambae a hero is going to be something that loops in Flambaes head for the rest of his life.
But he’s got to play it cool right now. Robert doesn’t seem to have caught on to them being soulmates yet. or.. maybe he has and he’s waiting on Flambae to make a move?
Flambae: Eh, the kids not that bad, bet he’ll be a pro when I’m through with him
Flambae could hear Roberts deep voice chuckle lightly through the mic. He really wanted to hear it in person.. He was originally waiting in the hallway outside of the locker room so no one could hear his conversation, but now his feet were moving towards the elevator.
Prism had just come out of the womens locker room and saw that Flambae was talking into his earpiece.
Flambae: Hey man, I’m just saying I could do some real good work with that wet- boy.. Wetboy. Waterboy. Anyways maybe if I put some extra work in.. I could get something back?
Flambae was making his move.
Usually he likes to be more coy, but fuck it. They’re supposed to spend more time together until the bond becomes more clear anyways right? Why waste time!
Prisms mouth formed an O as she overheard the conversation and followed him to the elevator. Mouthing for Flambae to call her when he’s done.
Robert: He’s rubbed off on you that much? Well.. We’ll see.. Let’s let the kid get settled in before you decided to drag him through whatever military grade training you have in mind.
Flambae nodded and blew her a kiss as he went in the elevator. She blew one back well excitedly yet quietly clapping her hands to cheer him on. The doors closed and he pressed the button for the dispatch floor.
It took him a second to catch what Robert had said.
He’s not taking the bait and still talking about Waterboy.
Fuck he should’ve just taken the stairs. He could get his flirting across way better in person.
Flambae: Well- I don’t like him that much. I mean I can tolerate him. He’s fine I guess but what I was trying to get at—
Flambae felt himself heat up as he tried to explain himself. He kept pushing the button as if that would make the elevator go faster.
Damn it! There was no rubbing off! The only one he wants to be rubbing against him is Robert! Or vise versa! Or- God damn it he’s just going to have to lay it on thick.
Flambae: You know since I’ve been on my best behaviour kind of, maybe we could celebrate.
Robert: Sure. You’ve all been doing good, team drinks, I’ll pay.
Is he being willfully dumb?? Or is Robert usually this dense when being flirted with? He knows when Visi is flirting with him that she’s pretty upfront and vulgar about it. Is that the only way Robert knows someone is flirting with him???
The elevator dinged and he quickly stepped out, he had to consciously slow himself down so he didn’t look too eager. Drinks wouldn’t be bad- maybe the team being there would help Robert chill out
Flambae: What- oh I mean sure yeah- No wait hang on that’s not what I meant.
But he still wanted it to be more one on one and he’s sure the team will get in the way of that.
Robert: We can discuss the details tomorrow? Sorry Blazer just stopped by with a file.
Flambaes feet slowed to a stop.
Flambae: Oh.. Yeah tomorrow- I uh- I’ll talk to you later Robbo-
Flambae just stood there for a second. Does he turn around and go back downstairs? Should he go to Roberts desk anyways after Blazer leaves? He walks carefully down the hall and peeks around the corner, he sees them talking, he can hear them somewhat too but he only catches them halfway through the conversation.
“Oh, good well- no not good that you have to deal with that- I just mean good that it’s nothing major, or ugh this isn’t coming out right.”
Blazer seems embarrassed about something, but Robert doesn’t seem bothered.
“Don’t worry about it. It took a few months but I’ve gotten used to it”
He shouldn’t be listening in, but he really wants to know what they’re talking about.
Blazer is tucking hair behind her ear
“Maybe you could tell me more about it over dinner some time?”
No..
Roberts leaning in
“Sure. You free now?”
That quick..?
Blazer sighed.
“Sadly not. I have to go to a late night conference with the downtown branch. But.. how about tomorrow?”
Good, he still has time but—
“I’m sure I can pencil you in.”
Why is Robert so eager..?
“Great! It’s a date. If you’re okay with that..”
Don’t call it that BlondBitch!
“It’s a date.”
Don’t call it that..
Blazer starts to leave and Flambae hurries so he can make it to the stairway without being seen.
God his chest hurts, his skin is burning. Why is he even upset?? It’s not like he even proved that they’re soulmates yet! Actually cross out that yet! Why should he even bother trying to prove anything when Robert seems so happy to jump ship with little miss blond and perfect?? They can have each other!
Like Prism said, soulmates aren’t required or whatever!
He knew it was too good to be true! To have some sort of perfect love story like his parents and his sister.
Fuck it
He can still have it with someone else, it’s not like Robert was that big of a catch anyways! Scrawny fucking bit—
Flambae shoots off from the parking lot, scorching the pavement as he did.
Authors Note: I felt bad that I haven't updated yet so I just decided to post what I have done so far and then I'll update this chapter when I finish the rest.
Not really in a good headspace so updates will probably be becoming more random/half finished like this.
Brain is mush Dispatch chapters are gonna be late.
Have some more of my rambles in the mean time
I've found the 80s tmnt (teenage mutant ninja turtles) cartoon and have just been putting it on in the background well I do stuff and there was this one episode where Shredder kidnapped Irma for a necklace. And on God I would've loved if they got paired for a bit, don't even got to be end game.
I like Annoyed Villain x Person who's a little unhinged/just wants a date.
I feel like that's a good trope, and it could've been silly and comedic for the show to.
Irma: you've kidnapped me, I'm your problem now. I was promised a date (she was not)
Shredder: please get out of my house.
Double points if Irma moves on since she rarely actually sees Shredder unless it involves him trying to get the turtles, she just can't support his career path for obvious reasons.
Anyways he finds out somehow that she's moved on and it probably takes a hit to his ego, he doesn't even like her, she annoyed him.
Maybe it's an ego thing, or maybe it's a "how dare you make me feel things then run away" thing.
Either way he chases her instead now.
They don't actually end up together.
Irma was just boy crazy and Shredder had too big of an ego to be metaphorically "dumped" even by someone he didn't want.
I don't think Shredders ego was that big in the show (I haven't been fully paying attention, just background noise) but that's just what I'm going with.
I was making Flambae mischievous and gave him a chesire grin
I also misread the comment as "Flambae as Cheshire cat would be a sight to see"
I'm tired leave me alone.
Anyways seeing Dispatch as Alice in Wonderland characters would be fun
Visi would probably be better as Cheshire given that they're both purple and can disappear. But IDC draw them all in whatever role, swap roles, all as one role. Like all of them as Alice then all of them as Cheshire and so on blah blah blah!
I'm never getting my nap.
(5 times Robert thought he was straight & the 1 time he wasn't)
Robert didn’t care when a guy flirted with him.
He was comfortable with his sexuality, and flirting could be platonic.
Flirting was fun, and it’s not like he had to drop to he’s knees and suck a guy off anytime he had some flirty banter with a random guy at a bar.
He doesn’t think he was overly flirty before joined the Z-team.
If someone flirted with him, he could fire back at them with ease. But he wasn’t the type to Instigate it.
That was before he joined the Z-team.
it’s been nearly 2 years since the Shroud incident.
Now it feels like any conversation he starts with the Z-team is a personal attack on HR. He’s even caught himself saying less than appropriate things to people outside of the Z-team, which he of course had to quickly correct himself and hang his head in shame.
His team has really rubbed off on him in the worst way possible.
Though he couldn’t really find it in himself to be annoyed with them for it. He’s gotten used to their antics, and even thinks fondly of them.
Flambe: Bob-Bob. I will literally suck your dick if you never send me on another sewage mission again. or at least for the rest of the year.
Prism: Bitch please. You’d suck his dick for free.
Flambae: You can’t prove that.
Robert sighed contently and leaned back in his seat.
“Sorry guys, but things have been slow the last few months. Villains just aren’t causing crime like they used to. It’ll be sewage clean ups and lost cats for a while, which is something we should all be happy for.”
Malevola: I didn’t think I’d ever want people to commit more crime than I do right now.
Invisigal: I second that. Just got scratched in the face by Mr. Mittens, would rather deal with a bank robbery.
It’s been a slow few days.
The team was taking their time on lunch break, most of them had gone out somewhere to eat since they had the time for it.
Flambae had left a lunch in the fridge for Robert, something that wasn’t too uncommon.
The only thing odd about it was that Flambae was lingering, waiting for Robert to finish it well smirking to himself and leaning on the table, sitting in the seat across from him, one hand holding up his face. He was grinning like a cat that was waiting for his mouse to finish its cheese before pouncing on him.
Robert finished the last bite of the stacked sandwich that was made for him. He leaned back in his seat and locked eyes with Flambae. They just stared at each other for a bit, like a staring contest since neither of them blinked.
The smug look didn’t leave Flambaes face. Robert could imagine a cat tail swishing mischievously behind the tall man.
Robert eventually broke the silence.
“Alright, you gonna tell me what you’re up to or are we just gonna do this all day?”
“What? No thank you for lunch?”
Flambae couldn’t even sound genuinely offended if he tried right now.
“Well I’ve kind of gotten used to you just making them whether I want them or not. But yes, thank you. It was good.”
Robert crossed his arms and leaned onto the table as well, still keeping up this staring contest where blinking was allowed.
“You’re very welcome Bob-Bob. Now.. about that offer?”
Flambae let go of his own face and started tracing a circle on the table.
“What offer was that again?”
Robert tilted his head, propping it on his hand.
“A quick blowie and I don’t have to do any of the sucky jobs for a few months.”
His grin widened to Cheshire levels. He even gave a double eyebrow flash.
Robert straightened up in his seat, only slightly caught off guard, he still gave a snort of a laugh.
“Nice try. But that would be an abuse of power, highly against HR. Also still not into dudes but I appreciate the offer.”
“Psh, heads head. Does it really matter what the heads attached to?”
Flambae huffed and crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. Finally breaking eye contact so he could roll his eyes.
“Also pretty sure HR doesn’t actually exist. Blazer or someone just sends those emails to make people THINK they exist.”
“Sorry Flambae. Even if I were to be into that, I wouldn’t take advantage of my position like that. And you’re also the quickest at dealing with those shitty jobs sooooo.”
Robert slid the empty tupperware towards Flambae.
Flambae let out a loud dramatic sigh and threw his head back. Still he accepted the empty tupperware back
“Ughh! Just admit you hate me Bob Bob.”
Robert got up, grinning as he walked past Flambae and patted his shoulder.
“Aww you know you’re my favorite.”
Flambae muttered a “Better be..” as Robert left.
Authors Note: Name still might be up for change but this is what I'm calling it for now.
Updates may vary depending on how quick I make the chapters, but there will be an update at least once a week if not more.
Also planning on doing a follow up fic of this, basically the same fic but from Flambaes POV
Takes place after Shroud. Roberts been working with the Z-team for a couple of years now
So Robert is comfortable with his sexuality. He's liked women all his life. But he has zero problem flirting with dudes.
It's just friendly banter.
Flambae has become his biggest target.
Flambae and him argue just as much as they flirt. Sometimes they flirt well arguing, and vise versa.
Flambae knows Roberts straight, they're both aware that this is just some friendly back and forth between buddies.
That doesn't stop Flambae from shooting his shot every now and again, especially on drunken nights when the team goes drinking.
It's always a no, and it always ends with them laughing about it and eye fucking each other for a bit.
It was very rare that Flambae ever got salty about the rejection.
There were only a handful of times where Flambae got bitter about it, made some kind of snide comment about getting led on, or just grumbled and sulked off for the rest of the night.
On one occasion Flambae just let out a loud "What the fuck!" Followed by a confrontation about Robert always flirting with him but not doing anything.
He's more than positive that all of those negative instances happened during Flambaes dry spells. And the WTF one Flambae had been very wasted.
Still, Robert was HR perfect after that instance for a month. It got to the point where Flambae actually apologized for it, admitted that he hadn't gotten laid in a while, and begged Robert to just go back to acting normal.
It was just part of their weird little friendship.
Robert isn't exactly phased about a Z-team member trying to get in his pants, getting rejected and still being friends and flirty.
It's this groups weird fucked up love language.
Tonight was different though.
The team was at the bar, getting wasted on a Friday night.
Robert looked around the room and couldn't spot a single person that he wasn't comfortable with or fond of. Except of course the few strangers that were also in the bar but they were unimportant.
Robert was drinking, probably more than he should of. As the years went on the team slowed down on getting shitfaced, now going to the bar was more for quality bonding time.
But tonight Robert just wanted to enjoy himself, and Flambae was matching his pace so it's not like he was the only one getting wasted.
The two of them were beyond buzzed.
They had to lean against the bar to prevent themselves from swaying on their feet.
Flambae wrapped a warm arm around Roberts waist, and Robert leaned into his side, already knowing where this was going.
Flambae leaned down to talk in Roberts ear, his scruff catching against Roberts skin anytime he accidentally lost his balance and leaned more into Robert. The two were holding each other up at this point more than the bar was.
"You should come home with me. I got like, the best food, and we can share the bed. God knows your back could use a better mattress.."
Flambae slurred. His free hand coming up to play with Roberts hair.
Usually Robert would get annoyed and push his hand away, but he didn't overly mind it right now.
"Yooou're tryin' to fuck me."
Roberts words were equally as slurred. He didn't even try to defend his mattress that he was bullied into buying.
"No. No.. ... Okay maybe a little bit."
Flambae rested his chin on top of Roberts head, eyes barely open.
"But we could also like, just watch a movie and cuddle. And maybe touch your dick a bit."
Robert laughed and just nodded.
"Okay."
Flambae started laughing too for a minute. But then he slowed to a stop. For a few seconds it felt like he was buffering.
"What?"
"I said okay."
Robert repeated without much thought.
"Okay?"
Flambae still seemed confused, and Robert just repeated himself again, nodding along, causing Flambaes chin to slip off
"Yeah, okay."
They just stood there, leaning against each other. Robert was just enjoying Flambaes warmth, well Flambae seemed to still be buffering.
Suddenly he was grabbing Roberts arm and urgently leading him out the bar, then Robert was practically being dragged with how fast Flambae was trying to get back to his own apartment.
The cool night air and all the jogging helped sober them both up some.
"Almost there. Still okay?"
Flambae was acting like this was a life or death emergency with how fast he was trying to get back to his apartment.
Robert could only laugh.
"Yeah. Still okay."
Flambae started laughing too.
Once they made it inside the apartment building is when reality of what he agreed to really struck Robert.
But he couldn't really find a reason to turn Flambae down tonight.
Why say no? Because he's straight? Sure he's not into dudes but it's not like he's repulsed by them. They have all the same parts that he has after all.
And you only live once right?
He could do a lot worse than Flambae, if he's gonna do it with a dude he might as well do it with a hot one.
He was comfortable with Flambae.
He doesn't even think this will actually effect their friendship.
They probably won't even go all the way, share a handy at most. Which isn't even that gay if you think about it.
When they got in the apartment, Flambae froze up again. Robert waited a moment but Flambae just wasn't loading.
Maybe he didn't actually want this? Maybe Flambae just like flirting and chasing, and is just realizing he doesn't actually want to screw Robert.
Fair enough.
"Hey, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can just watch Tv, or I could leave-"
Robert was looking away, rubbing the back of his head when suddenly Flambae came back to the land of the living.
"Are you kidding me?? I'm just trying to figure out where to start!"
Okay. Maybe they did end up going all the way.
Robert woke up, wrapped in a warm pair of arms with soft muscles cushioning him. It's probably the most comfortable he's ever been.
Flambae lulled him back to sleep.
Robert could sleep in. It's the weekend after all.
When he woke up the second time it was to a beautifully made breakfast in bed.
Flambae ate next to him. And anytime Robert tried to bring up last night, Flambae would just boast about how great it was.
And Robert couldn't really disagree.. it surprisingly was great? Which just confused him because.. Robert doesn't like guys? He's never liked guys before? Or at least, he didn't think he did.
Then Flambae insisted on rubbing oil on him and massaging him. Claiming it as aftercare, Flambae boasting about how he's a caring lover so of course the aftercare was necessary, especially considering it was Roberts first time with a guy.
Robert ended up letting him. His body felt like jello afterwards. He just laid in bed for what felt like a few hours before trying to get up.
When Robert said he should go home, Flambae mentioned that they hadn't tried a few things, and if this is just a one time thing for Robert then he really should get his money's worth.
Which.. yeah.. that made sense to Robert.
So they went at it again.
Roberts legs felt like rubber. He was leaned up against Flambaes chest, completely limp.
Flambae had put some mind numbing tv on. Robert just stared at the screen. He doesn't even remember when he fell asleep.
When he woke up again, Flambae had made a mouth watering dinner.
Robert really should go pick up Beef from Chase but.. he could have dinner first.
Flambae offered to drive him to get beef and drop him off at home.
But it was late.. Beef and Chase were probably asleep by now anyways.. maybe he could just sleep over one more night.
Flambae didn't seem to mind.
He leant Robert clothes and snuggled up in bed with him.
Reality struck.
1.) he's not as straight as he thought he was
2.) if he had actually wanted to leave he would've done so by now. No amount of food or body massages would have actually stopped him.
3.) he kind of doesn't want this to just be a one time thing..
Since when did he fall for Flambae..?
Author: This was just supposed to be a fic prompt/idea but I feel like I've wrote a whole fic T~T
I might do a more detailed version on AO3 eventually.
Also I love writing Flambae trying to lock Robert down. But I'm pretty sure Flambae would probably want to be the one getting locked down.
