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god these new hudson pics make me want a professor shane getting teased and taunted by his student ilya au real bad

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@delsicle okay so..... shane is a professor at suffolk university in boston. he went to harvard to be a lawyer, did it for awhile, realized he preferred teaching rather than doing, and so went back to school to snag a degree for that too. so now he's teaching criminal justice. [there is no reason for any of this other than i like the idea of shane being fuck you smart and collecting random degrees because he can]

the person that was meant to run the english core requirement class has dropped out at the last second, and so the university asked for any teachers who can fit a class in to help out this semester. they need both a morning class volunteer and an evening class volunteer. shane is very much a loner that doesn't have much going on outside of work, and so he picks up the evening class. this is where he meets ilya.

shane isn't repressed necessarily. he knows he's a gay man, is publicly out, but still is too nervous to really have any sort of relationship. he had sex once [1] in college, but the guy wasn't the best top and it was pretty bland overall. and he's so busy with work that he feels he doesn't have enough time to properly dedicate to a partner anyway. and he has a nice enough time when he allows himself the indulgence of suction cupping his dildo to the shower wall and fucking himself on it every now and then. only when he feels he's earned it, though. and on his birthday as a special treat to himself.

so yeah his shit gets absolutely ROCKED when ice hockey hot shot ilya rozanov struts into his class. he's so loud, so bold, so brash. always interrupting, always challenging him, always saying something wildly inappropriate and finishing it off with a wink. [and jesus fuck why does shane's dick keep twitching whenever he winks like that fuckfuckfuck]

shane has had kids like this before, and he's always managed to keep it together despite secretly wanting to drag them out back and shoot them. so why is he so flustered with ilya? he's losing his train of thought, he can't think of anything witty to say to cut him down a peg or two like he normally would.

it doesn't help that it seems like ilya is flirting with him. okay, not seems like; ilya is definitely flirting with him. shane finally accepted it was intentional the day he forgot his lunch and was in the cafeteria grabbing something to eat. he happened to glance over where ilya was sitting, surprised to see him already staring at him. he then watched as ilya flicked his tongue at the tip of a popsicle he was eating before wrapping his lips around it and sucking it down, all while staring shane dead on.

despite it not being anywhere near his birthday and not accomplishing much of anything, shane took an extra long shower that night.

delsicle

Thank you for involving me…this is such a beautiful, precious offering. I will handle it with so much love.

I love the idea of Ilya openly flirting with Shane, doing the most like “is there anything I can do to get extra credit, Professor Hollander? 😏” “I, uh, posted some extra credit projects in the portal.”

One time Ilya invites Shane to one of his games and Shane goes but sits in the back (he doesn’t need to, other faculty go to games all the time, especially if their students are playing). Ilya is so smug next class like “did you enjoy watching me play, Professor?” And Shane gets a little too flustered.

And he’s so frustrated that he’s flustered. He is an educated, respected, established man and he’s tripping over himself for an undergrad.

Near the end of the classes Ilya gets really blatant about his flirting and Shane snaps “this isn’t funny, and it’s inappropriate. You’re my student.” And Ilya smiles like “mm not after this semester. I am not interested in your other boring classes.”

After the students get back from break, Ilya drops by Shane’s office and immediately grins like “did you get new glasses over break? They look very sexy.” And Shane repeats that Ilya can’t say stuff like that, it’s inappropriate, all while Ilya is circling his desk like a herding dog, and he finally says, “I am not your student anymore. So now what?”

overheatedyke

Just appreciating the sweet irony of the Las Vegas penthouse hookup again. Ilya thinks, "Oh, I'm getting too entangled with this adorable hot guy who is perfect for me, I will push him away and establish boundaries by showing some dominance." Meanwhile, Shane has shown in their hookups so far that he really LOVES dominant Ilya, the Vegas hookup shows that even more clearly to both of them. Shane crawling across the bed is the last straw, and Ilya can't even pretend like this man doesn't have so much power over him, his body and his heart. Ilya HAS to be so cold to Shane afterward, barely even looking at him. If he's not, then everything, EVERYTHING, all the love, will just spill out, and he'll use all the English words he knows to tell Shane exactly how he feels. And then Ilya's alone, just thinking to himself, "What the fuck have I gotten myself into," and planning when he can get Shane to his apartment.

justcatposts

My 11-month male cat lets my foster kittens nurse on him.

(Source)

nitewrighter

frankierohugejorts

im sorry these are the funniest tags ive ever seen

mrsbartlesby

I need everyone to understand that if anyone is messy, it’s Shane. Only-child Shane, whose parents doted on him and helped make his every dream come true. Who plops down at a lunch at a very nice restaurant and pouts about going to Wimbeldon and his parents gently coax him into being open to it because they’ve been gently coaxing him for over twenty years. His parents who support his dreams so much they pick up his dirty socks and never held him to a strict chore chart because his life was already so regimented. He only learned to do laundry because he moved out, and even then Yuna helped him set up an on-call laundry service for whenever he wanted it. He has a weekly housekeeper, and while he’s tidy and folds his clothes before his first blow job, he also has professionals coming around regularly to really keep him neat and clean.

Then Ilya’s princely Russian ass comes into the picture and he’s like, “Shane, do you not put the toilet seat down? What do you mean you don’t know where the dustpan lives? Which cycle do you use on the washing machine? You don’t know? How can you not know this?

Very quickly Ilya learns Shane’s the hardest worker to ever hit the ice, but domestically he’s kind of spoiled. And Ilya is fine spoiling him for the rest of his life, but he also teaches Shane how to properly keep a home and it becomes work they love doing together.

macarenacult

My personal headcanon is that when hollanov’s oldest is in preschool they get a call from the teacher because the kid keeps on calling everyone an asshole, and when told to not say it because it’s a very mean word, they say that it’s a nice word, and when asked why they think that they say it’s because “daddy calls papa an asshole all the time and papa always smiles after!” Shane and Ilya get really embarrassed and apologize and proceed spend the next half hour trying to figure out how to explain the concept of pet names/terms of endearment to a four year old.

florientius

alternatively: shane comes out to his parents. no mention of boyfriend. so best momager and agent of all time yuna hollander asks around, does some sleuthing, goes undercover online and surveys the land for the most successful queer hockey player other than her son. imagine her surprise when she discovers from multiple sources that ilya rozanov might be gay. she arranges ads and promotions and sponsors for shane and ilya to do jointly. she hopes they hit it off and get together - only the best for her baby ofc - and she not so subtly asks after ilya from shane when they have a joint thing or an event where they meet. she is hoping, manifesting, praying and buying spells on etsy to have the two best hockey players in her family.

meanwhile every time shane and ilya meet up they fuck nasty, and ofc shane does not understand why his mom suddenly become a bears fan...

dylanobrienisbatman

my hc for hollanov sharing clothes is that they’re the same height but the proportions are flipped. ilya’s hoodies are too big on shane cuz his shoulders are broader and his chest is bigger, and maybe his arms are a bit longer. ilya is experiencing peak cuteness aggression at shane all cozy and cuddled up. BUT. ilya in shane’s sweatpants? they’re barely staying up on him because shane has bigger thighs and wider hips! ilya is wearing them around the house and shane is fucking salivating at the way they are hanging so so low. flipped proportions makes clothes sharing sexier i dont make the rules.

kalinara

There's something so compelling about Shane's breakdown at the cottage, after David leaves. It isn't just how overt and BIG it is, compared to every other emotional display that Shane has.

It's the way he ends up dropping down, clutching Ilya's legs, face at crotch level. And I mean, there's an insensitive joke to be made about that being his comfort position.

But, also, that IS kind of his comfort position.

Because, the same way that sex is the primary way that Ilya (especially early on) is able to show his true feelings, the same is true for Shane too.

Shane is always controlled. He's always contained. He's always in a role. He's the Hockey Player. He's the Brand. He's the Role Model. He's the Boyfriend of the Movie Star.

It's not that he doesn't get emotional, but when he does, it's so quiet. His eyes fill with tears that never fall. His mouth quivers, but never makes a sound. He stands, staring a text that he never sends. He watches Ilya win the cup, surrounded by a team that has no idea that he's doing anything at all.

Even with his family, where we do see/hear a more obvious response: his voice shaking with Yuna. Dropping his head to the table, as he "freaks out". It's still a very small reaction. He's trained himself to be small.

It's only with Ilya and only during sex that he really is free to just feel and react and let things go.

The physicality in the scene is crazy to me. Especially that crouch - it's somehow half fetal, half sexual, just a grab for comfort from someone who has no idea how to articulate it. Everything he's feeling is in the curve of his spine and grasp of his arms and it's mesmerizing.

strawberryprim

has anyone done this yet

hollanoveau

it’s late 2016. shane hollander is dating rose landry. ilya rozanov is breaking every traffic law known to man in his hideous sports car and tearfully scream-singing DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME….. DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME…..

these two things, of course, have nothing to do with each other

hollanovbiter

Number

After a meeting with the Centaurs management, Ilya finds Shane crying in their walk in closet | Words: 1444

Ilya and Shane are both home on this lovely Friday afternoon, a rare occurrence for them these days. Shane came home from a meeting a bit ago, and headed upstairs to change. He’s been up there for a while, and Ilya is getting impatient.

He’s hoping to spend the afternoon playing some video games, or doing a workout. Or really, whatever Shane wants to do, as long as they’re together. Because they’re out, they’re engaged. And they’re going to play on the same team (bearing all went well with Shane’s meeting today).

Ilya wanders into his (now their) bedroom and doesn’t see Shane, but he does hear something coming from the big walk in closet.

The door is closed, so he moves a little closer to investigate. As he places the sound, he immediately feels a knot well in his throat.

Shane is crying. All alone. In his their closet.

sabotage-on-mercury

Ok in my mind Shane is a party smoker once he passed a certain level of inebriation & since you can count it the occasions of Shane 1) attending a party & 2) getting that drunk, on one hand this is one of the most obscure open secrets in the world. Of course Shane is in absolute denial about it, partly because he can't remember bumming strangers for a cig, but even more because he simply decides that this could never have happened because Shane Hollander does not smoke period.

The only one who was there for all four times when it happened to recognise this "pattern" is JJ. He tried to tease Shane about after the first time but when he saw Shane's scared bambi eyes he quickly realised that this has to stay a story they never talk about so he made it his mission that Shane could have a drunken ciggy in privacy if he needed to without anyone taking pictures, because it's a matter of honour to protect your captain and also JJ is a friend like that.

Anyway, Ilya finds out during their Stanley Cup celebrations and Shane disappears for a moment to come back, suspiciously tasting like smoke, staring right into Ilya's eyes, saying that he can't smell anything, and Ilya has to laugh so much it hurts because Shane is such a bad liar and he just loves him so much. He leads Shane outside to watch the sunrise as they share a smoke and he knows they can't ever talk about this unless he wants Shane to get a full-blown panic attack but that is okay, that little secret of him and his not-so-drunk-anymore husband indulging a little bit on their celebration day will quitely exist between them.

Somehow Ilya finds out that that JJ kept that secret all along and it makes him like JJ even more and he actually can't believe Shane choose Hayden as his bestie when JJ was right there.

vesnuszki

whenever someone draws shane hollander as a twink… describes his muscles as anything but bulging …. his cock as anything but thick and girthy… an angel loses its wings

fuckyoucanada

Hollanov Crack fic where while they’re soft launching their friendship, Shane mentions to Ilya that he’s basing how he interacts in public with Ilya on his friendship with Hayden. Would he carpool with Hayden? Yes, so they can do that, etc.

Except Shane likes being friendly with Ilya in public so much that he seriously considers how much better it would be if they held hands! So Shane does and it’s fantastic. He gets so high off the feeling of being with Ilya that his restrictive plan falls to the wayside and he’s touching Ilya constantly when they’re together, giving him little pecks on the cheek, so glad he forgot about the plan for once and just—went for it! They can just soft launching their friendship their actual relationship, not saying anything, and letting people realize on their own!

Only Shane never mentioned this to Ilya and he is still under the impression Shane is only doing things with Ilya that he would with Hayden and wtf do you mean Shane holds hands with Hayden??? He kisses him on the cheek???? This isn’t fucking okay hollader!

Ilya just seething with jealousy and in a horror movie in his head about what else Shane does with Hayden that he considers “just friends” things while Shane is living out a rom com

gaynehollander

There's something so hot about Ilya controlling Shane's orgasms during the situationship era, even when he's with other people. Poor Shane taking a girl home, trying to prove to himself that he's not gay, meanwhile he has to excuse himself for a second to text his male situationship whether he's allowed to cum tonight.

jewelcoatfish

people at david’s place of work having a game called: is he talking about shane hollander or ilya rozanov? because david brags about them by referring to both of them as “my son”, and he’s not entirely aware he’s causing confusion either, so now his place of work knows a lot and at the same time very little about shane and ilya lmao

stabthroughme

Shane Hollander, hockey superstar, completely unrivalled on the ice, slamming head first into Russia's Pride and Joy Ilya Rozanov at the 2014 Olympics, backstage during the opening ceremony preparations.

Ilya who's an incredible musician/singer, who won Eurovision less than a year ago, who is the perfect candidate to be held up by the regime at the Olympics to go "we aren't just superior sportsmen, we're superior artistic patrons too".

Ilya who finds Shane fascinating as they stumble through communicating (why would Ilya have to have learned English? What reason would Shane have for even thinking about learning Russian?) and get Shane back to the Canadian delegation. Ilya who shows up to all of the Team Canada games because he's curious. Shane who finds Ilya in the stands every time because once is coincidence, twice is freaky, thrice? That's a pattern.

Ilya who, post Russia's Eurovision, post Olympics, is signed to an American label. His popularity explodes. It's incredible, but most importantly it's a way out. He's proven himself to be a good investment and it's easier for his label to sponsor his citizenship in the US than it is to continue to deal with Russian banks and laws and royalties.

Shane who finds his mind wandering to the pretty Russian musician who sang at the opening and closing ceremonies, who he never told his name, who he never got the name of. Who he couldn't really have a conversation with but who made him feel safe regardless.

About a year later, fresh off his first cup win, he gets a google alert. A entertainment magazine posted an article with a photo from the Olympics of him and the pretty Russian. And now Shane has a name. And a screenshot of said pretty Russian boy tweeting publicly "don't suppose a stanley cup winning captain would have the time to show a russian around montreal?" There's no capitalization which Shane finds endearing, and he manages to get Ilya's number.

Ilya has a concert in the Metros' arena. Shane sneaks in easily because it's his arena.

If they fuck in the Metros locker room with Shane bent over the bench in front of his stall well.

Not like there are any cameras in the locker room.

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