Curiosity Killed the Fan Girl

I'm Lucie. I'm 20. I like things. Currently Watching (binging): School is really taking a toll on me Instagram: @lucie_xox Twitter: @luciewashere

[reyofhouseskywalker-deactivated]

We don’t need a Frozen sequel, we need a sequel to The Princess and the Frog where Tiana and Naveen are human during the entire movie.

[bogleech]

There’s a ton of responses on this like “the whole point of the movie was turning into frogs” and “how would it be princess and the frog anymore” Look, it’s simple. Call the movie “The Princess and the FROGS”

Facilier escapes the underworld, leading a horde of demons and spirits, and curses the ENTIRE town to become frogs.

Tiana and Naveen are immune because they went through it before, but Facilier kidnaps Naveen as revenge.

Tiana is now the only human left, and it’s up to her to train and lead an army of frogs against an army of the damned to rescue her prince.

[dragonfishdreams]

Okay, but what if not all mutations (a la X-Men) are actually helpful? The powers supposedly come from an evolutionary mutation, after all, and some of those hit dead ends - not everyone ends up ‘the fittest.’

And what if this is actually the explanation for Peter Parker’s extraordinarily bad luck? He actually is a mutant, but he has a terrible power that only causes him pain and grief, and the only reason he’s still alive is because he got those spider powers. And no one’s figured it out because they’re distracted by the spider powers and don’t notice that the luck is literally unnaturally bad.

[greentrickster]

I was talking to my sister about this, and she put forth the suggestion of Peter getting a mutant power suppressant collar put on him and I just… that would be amazing? Like, no one knows where Peter’s powers came from for the most part, we’re got all these mutants running around, it wouldn’t be a stretch for some anti-mutant jerk to just assume that he’s a mutant, catch Peter, and toss him in with all the other mutants they’ve captured for whatever purpose.

Cue Peter announcing to the rest of the captives “Don’t worry, guys, I’m not actually a mutant - my powers still work just fine!” and breaking everyone out. Except, as they get farther and farther into the escape, Peter starts getting more and more concerned because. Nothing is going wrong? At all? This has been shockingly easy? Everything’s going according to plan? What? By the time they’re out the door, Peter’s started actively trying to distance himself from the rest of the group and be annoying and unlikeable, because this is too long without something going wrong, someone’s going to die if this keeps up.

But no one dies. They get back to the X-mansion with minor fuss, Professor X runs some tests because Peter’s freaking out and it turns out, oh, you actually were a mutant, your power is just the worst power ever.

Peter: “Soooo… what I’m getting out of this is, if I keep wearing this collar, I won’t have such constant crappy luck?”

Professor X: “Well ideally it would be best if you learned more about your power now that you’re aware of it and-”

Peter: “Sorry, just remembered that you wouldn’t let me join your super-team so I don’t have to listen to you byeeeeeee~!!!”

And he makes it home in time for supper and life just gets better. Though Peter keeps getting surprised by stuff. Ex:

Peter: Wow, I haven’t stepped in gum in, like, a week. Weird.

MJ: That’s… actually pretty normal for most people?

Peter: What, seriously? Wild.

[ddrvbiblgigb]

[garfield-baybee]

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

[planetvoid]

[happy-radio]

PET THE BOY

[hailtothepumpkinqueen]

Had a dream I was playing an indie game about a 1950’s housewife trying to kill her husband.

The objective of the game was to kill him without A) alerting the husband, B) getting caught by your busybody neighbor, or C) accidentally killing your kids/have them walk in on you murdering their dad. 

The first level was that you had to slip poison into his food or drink, since that was subtle and easy enough. But I think as the levels progressed, the murder attempts got more…gruesome and difficult to hide. I remember using garden sheers at one point.

And the game had a 1950s advert style to it, kind of how Bendy and the Ink Machine is stylized

^ kind of like that

Anyway I’m calling it Desperate Housewife and if anyone wants to actually make that game gimme some credit lmao

[garrettauthor]

I would play the shit out of this game.

[maaarine]

[hidinghalfofmyself-deactivated2]

The last one is the equivalent of:

SAME ENERGY

[humoristics]

Pregnant at 13

credit

[evilbuildingsblog]

A church in Norway built in 1181 without any nails.

[glitchlight]

of all the things to highlight about this building the lack of nails is not the thing I would have expected 

[bats-n-birds]

another stupid comic

[nest-deactivated20181209]

disney’s gonna release the live-action little mermaid movie and the director’s gonna do an interview for teenvogue where he says the crab sebastian is gay and everyone’s gonna laud it as the most woke moment of 2019 and a horde of 21-35 year old women on tumblr will draw human aus where he’s a young white redhead and he and king triton are fuckin’

[fenrispenris-blog]

“Batfleck is too fatherly” Yes, Batman acting too fatherly, completely out of character….

fyi this isn’t even his kid, and he knows it, but he is this baby’s dad now whether Selina likes it or not. 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Like

There is so much about Batman vs Superman that looks ridiculous but Batman being fatherly is not one of those things

[xaremicharm]

Have you seen the batfamily?

[fantastic-nonsense]

*snorts* Bruce “isn’t a dad?”

(Pls. Bruce having to put up with Dami’s shit is the best thing ever)

Like please. Bruce not a dad? Bruce, acting “too fatherly?” Pshh, not possible. The entirety of Batman canon would like to disagree with you. He might not know how to express his feelings all the time, but he cares deeply about each and every one of his kids, and has shown it on multiple occasions. I guess we also have to ignore that he actually legitimately has a biological child and three legally adopted children in canon. 

Bruce being “too fatherly.” Heh. That’s a good joke.

[ifellforanamazinggrayson-deacti]

I want Bruce as my dad.

[math-is-magic]

THIS^^^^^. The ONE thing I liked about the BvS trailer was fatherly!Batman. It’s my favorite part of Batman’s character, and the part that NEVER gets put into the movies. Lack of Batfam is, like, 60% of my beef with Batman movies.

[superbatheadcanons]

I’m sorry but I have to put here because I LOVE FATHERLY BATMAN!

[the-doctor-9-10]

Honestly, my favorite thing at the moment is all the marvel headcanons where Hela wasn’t cray-cray homicidal, and she’s an overprotective bitchy sister.

[powderedtoooastman]

I fucking love everything about this post

[sammysstevens-deactivated201903]

women who perform sexual acts on underage boys deserve to be thrown under the prison never to see the light of day again right next to the men who perform sexual acts on underage girls

[sammysstevens-deactivated201903]

and if you disagree you don’t deserve to be around kids. i wouldn’t trust you with my toenail much less a child

[tastefullyoffensive]

“Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime.”

[nu11-pointer]

Wait it’s a fucking WAR CRIME?!?! I mean that might not be 100% accurate but now I gotta know

[tlitookilakin]

holy crap, collective punishment is a war crime.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Geneva_Convention#Collective_punishments

and according to the exact legal phrasing-

No protected person may be punished for an offense he or she has not personally committed. Collective penalties and likewise all measures of intimidation or of terrorism are prohibited.

This technically counts, as students are civilians, and thus considered a “protected person”. So yes, collective classroom punishment breaks the fourth Geneva Convention, and she should be rewarded for standing up for human rights and doing her research.

[squided]

Power-move: accuse your teacher of a war crime using knowledge they supplied you with

[byecolonizer]

This is the second time I’ve seen it done correctly.

[fallintolife]

I feel like my roommates are probably aliens and I’m teaching them how humans eat with my grocery choices

[fallintolife]

when I first moved in the fridge had like… water in it. and some mustard. definitely people things but ???

and then I bought a bigass jar of peanut butter and two days later… another jar of peanut butter appears. same size, same brand. uh.

[fallintolife]

I buy a box of cereal. more cereal appears.

I buy lactaid. silk soymilk appears.

I bought a jar of freakin’ mayo and a different mayo of the same size appeared in the fridge.

[fallintolife]

one day these aliens are going to find out that I’m allergic to most common foods, and boy are they gonna be mad

[fallintolife]

“this isn’t how humans eat?? was ours broken????”

[prokopetz]

If you ever feel like you must be the most unobservant person in the world, remember: I once spent half a year failing to notice that my new favourite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the Ukrainian mafia.

(I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in retrospect, the fact that it was always dead no matter the time of day - I think the busiest I ever saw it was five people, myself included - well, that should have been a tipoff. Also, the waitstaff kept calling me “Mr. Prokopetz”, which I had assumed was just part of the restaurant’s gimmick, but given that “Prokopetz” is a Ukrainian surname, I’m now force to wonder whether they’d thought I was, you know, in the business. I just liked the pierogi!)

[moonbelowsea]

What I need to know is how on earth did OP finally realize his favorite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the mafia.

[prokopetz]

I’d like to say I put together the clues, but in reality, I just showed up one day to find that the place had been indefinitely shut down, and later learned it was because the managers had all been arrested.

[andersonsallpurpose]

What I really want to know is how good the food was?

[prokopetz]

Excellent, if your tastes run to the “heavy cream and too much garlic” end of the spectrum.

[toloveviceforitself]

Every crime front I’ve ever eaten at has had completely amazing food, honestly. I am pretty convinced that if you want to open a front, you don’t choose “restaurant” as your front-business unless you have a relative who loves to cook.

[prokopetz]

It tickles me that this is evidently a sufficiently common experience that people find it relatable. (Seriously, check the notes!) We should write reviews or something.

[onewit-torulethem-all]

did I just read the line “every crime front I’ve ever eaten at” with my own two eyes

[toloveviceforitself]

Look, I went to college and lived my early adulthood in a town whose entire thing was import/export, and we had a lot of restaurants that were suspiciously empty except when they were closed and filled with very serious men in nice clothes.

They were usually run by someone who was about the right age to be some adult’s parents or grandparents, and in the case of the two Korean restaurants matching this description, they didn’t speak English. Universally though, they were very pleased to see customers, very proud of their cooking, and very very interested in keeping us far away from the aforementioned serious men in nice clothes. And despite having huge dining rooms and never having more than a couple customers, they never went out of business.

Also, because I am very, very stupid and sometimes don’t think before I talk, I once said loudly, over the phone, while sitting in one of these places, “Hey! Yeah if you want to meet us, we’re eating at [place]. You know…[place]? You totally know it. The Front, on Warwick st!”

The looks I got from every single employee were amazing and then I left.

[cat--77]

We had a corner store/deli-place near our apartment in college. Everyone knew they were in on something and no one cared because they looked out for their customers and their neighborhood as a whole.

They started stocking my favorites because I mentioned them within hearing range once, would tell their “vendors” to move out of the way if we stopped in. I walked a different route home and got harassed one night and they asked after me. When they found out what happened, they declared “Consider it taken care of, you should never be afraid around here.” Never happened again.

Everyone needs their friendly neighborhood crime lord.

[friendlyfrankenstein]

This is both my favorite and makes me fondly remember home. Less of the  eateries, more of the mysterious retail joints that never seem to close despite no one ever buying anything, though. Well. Aside from the juice bar. Didnt last, though. 

[jupiterjames]

I found these places everywhere I lived. My favorite was an omurice place near my home in Japan, and a mother/son officially ran it. The food was incredible, and one night I was there and there was a boisterous crowd of BLATANTLY yakuza men eating and drinking. They started talking to me, and were super nice. Said they wanted to “practice their English,” and paid for my food and drinks and then said they wanted to take me to karaoke. That was a little alarming, but the mother/son, who seriously looked after me as the only foreigner in the area, said I should go, and the son came along. So we piled into a white landboat Cadillac and partied until dawn.

One of the older men at the party took me to my neighborhood and dropped me off out front (the car was literally too big to fit down the small neighborhood streets) and said that I had his blessing.

Which was confusing, but I was drunk, so whatever. Then I went back to the restaurant about a week later and the mother said, “the family approves of you. You may marry our son if you wish and be welcomed.”

I did not marry him, but wow. There were no hard feelings, either. They still helped out if I got harassed by the cops (which happened a lot in these smaller towns with no foreigners) or anything like that.

And to this day, no omurice has ever compared.

[not-so-terrible]

@temari-i-i