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trying on a metaphor
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2/2/23 Note: This is technically my main blog but I have so many sideblogs that I basically only use this one for saving things I want to read/watch/listen to in the future.
If you want to see my meme/random bs sideblog it’s @zonotrichia-albicollis
the transition im crying
I am walking onto the field. Haters are forcefully removing me from the premise
interesting rationale from a prospective juror in the Elon Musk Twitter stock manipulation case
by the way, if you ever want to actually be on a jury and actually participate in the judicial system, you need to not say this kind of shit during the selection process. they will not select you. you will not get to convict. you need to be the most wishy-washy, "I don't know, I think there's many sides" austerely "I believe in the letter of the law" type motherfucker to get selected. you have to come off as someone who is profoundly disconnected from politics etc. You can't lie, obviously; that's perjury. But you can be kinda vague and noncommittal and that's not a crime.
Most especially, if you feel the temptation to "expand" on your views, as this prospective juror put it, DON'T. Do not discuss anything but the direct answer to the questions - don't discuss your feelings, motivations, or do any other pontificating unless you are directly asked, even if they use long uncomfortable silences to make it seem like you have to keep talking. If they ask you a yes or no question, answer "yes," "no," or maybe "I don't know" or "it depends," full stop, without elaborating unless they ask.
Give this a read if you'd like to be a jury to your peers some time:
A resource to help prospective jurors prepare before going to the courthouse to answer questions truthfully but neutrally so as not to be ex
How To Be A Rat Fuck, part 1: How to always win debates
So first of all the title is a bit misleading. There are actually two different kinds of political debates, and I can only help you with the second one. This is NOT advice on how to settle arguments with your friends; these are hostile tactics, meant to be used only on enemies, and if whoever u use it on wasn't your enemy before then they sure as hell will be when you're done. Anyway.
First off, you have to know ahead of time what kind of debate you're in. The two kinds of political debate are internal and public, and they have to be approached very differently because they're very different animals. The internal debate is a dialectical fact-finding process wherein some people resolve contradictions within their group by discussing the relative strengths and weaknesses of various positions; the internal debate should be respected, and the only way to win one of those is to have a good and well-presented argument. Good luck w/ that one.
Then there's the public debate. The public debate--and this remains true whether it takes place on a fancy stage or in the comments section of a youtube video--is a circus. More to the point, it's your circus, and you are the ringmaster.
The true target of a public debate is not the opponent, but the audience. You are not acting as a political worker educating a potential contact, but rather as a performer putting on a show for the audience. The object is not to win over your opponent; the object is to leave any observers with the impression that your side is reasonable and intellectual while their side is silly and histrionic. Always keep this in mind.
Try to avoid addressing your opponent's points directly, except to ridicule them. Instead, use phrases like "But what about--" and "Oh, so you're just going to ignore--" in order to keep bringing up additional points of your own, thereby monopolizing the conversation for your point of view and preventing your opponent from organizing a coherent counterargument.
Take any opportunity to imply that your opponent's arguments are foolish without saying so overtly. Keep an ear out for any lines of argument or turns of phrase that might sound peculiar to the general public, such as cumbersome academic jargon or obscure subcultural metaphors, and roll your eyes while repeating them back to your opponent in a condescending tone.
If you find yourself unprepared or otherwise caught out by a question, just refuse to answer it. Or refuse to elaborate. Imply that your opponent is being foolish by even bothering to ask such a question. "It's not my fault you don't already know about XYZ, someone who'd done any research on the topic would already know about XYZ and wouldn't need me to explain it to them. Anyway, have you considered--" You're never ever refusing to answer or elaborate because you don't have an answer, no, you simply refuse to embarrass yourself by condescending to answer such silly questions. Come on.
If at all possible, try to bait your opponent into getting angry or otherwise distraught. How to accomplish this will vary from person to person, but your pretentiousness and aloof indifference should get you about halfway there on its own. Remember, however, to try not to resort to overt personal attacks unless you're absolutely sure they're going to land; you're meant to look like the voice of reason dispensing sage wisdom while they're meant to look like an angry, blathering jackass. If you can so get under your opponent's skin, it's pretty much over. You can aloofly (and infuriatingly) dismiss whatever else they have to say as a baseless appeal to emotion and proceed to "Anyway, have you considered--" your way into using the debate floor as a soapbox from which to preach to the audience.
Keep these tips and tricks in your back pocket and you'll never, ever lose, as long as you define "winning" as your opponent giving up and storming out of the venue.
And now you're one step further on your journey to becoming a rat fuck! More to come. Quote to think on:
"Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died."
I’m kinda surprised that nalbinding isn’t as popular as crochet and knitting tbh because it has an even lower barrier of entry tools wise and unlike crochet and knitting it makes fabric that you can cut.
I guess it’s because it’s slower or something.
Nalbinding aka needle binding is when you use yarn and a big sewing needle to make fabric btw
It also has a lot of different kinds of stitches you can do that make different densities of fabric.
Some people even make rugs.
I feel like part of it might be casual people are generally aware of the existence of crochet and knitting, even if they don’t know very much about either, but have never heard of nalbinding
Yeah I hadn’t heard of it until recently and I ordered a big bone needle for myself to try it out and that should be arriving soon.
I was surprised that I’d never heard of it though. It’s older than knitting and crocheting and even though it’s been done all over the world it’s super relevant to Nordic culture and my grandmother and I are both into keeping in touch with our roots a bit so I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it.
It seems like the sort of thing that would be popular even if not as popular as crocheting and knitting, considering the low barrier of entry.
You also don’t need a bunch of different sized needles for nalbinding or whatever. The size of the stitch is controlled either completely freehand or by pulling it against one of your fingers. Most people who have a lot of nalbinding needles seem to either have tried out wood, bone, and metal ones to see which kind they liked or they enjoy carving wood or bone and like making their own needles as an extra hobby.
It’s also a lot easier to freehand and adjust as you go than crochet or knitting and you mostly go by inches instead of rows and number of stitches so a large number of accessories like stitch markers or whatever isn’t really necessary.
Maybe the lack of accessories also makes it unpopular idk. People do like collecting things in their nests.
I've been wanting to do so, I cannot find anyone who can teach me, and any books I can find on it are Ass in the Visual Learning department. Otherwise I'd be making the hell outta some nalbinded fabric
I found this channel by a nice man who makes up close tutorials
I create videos on YouTube to learn people how to needlebind using two fingers and your thumb. Needlebinding helps people to relax, relieve
ive said it before and i’ll say it again not enough historical romance focuses on technicalities
really for this kind of thing it’s no use going to published trad romance and i should know that. the really good shit is 400k on fanfiction dot net for a heterosexual pairing you’ve never considered from a piece of media you havent thought about in years written by a bored doctoral candidate who’s read a lot of primary sources from the long 18th century
recently rediscovered my absolute favorite entry in the genre: customs and duties by tortoiseshells, which is an insane technicalityromance set in 1738 boston, ft the stuffy british navy guy from pirates of the caribbean/ofc, smuggling, puritanism in the john calvin sense, the legal realities of widowhood, several real historical governors of massachusetts, debts, accounts, and of course customs regulations
I would also like to nominate and psyche's lamp shall darkling be, a story based on the 2025 Frankenstein movie that gets into the intricacies of 1850s convent school life, the process of Catholic ecclesiastical courts verifying miracles, multiple points of mid 19th century marriage and inheritance laws pertaining to property, and also spells the word connection with an X so you know the author has been in the 19th century literature trenches 
Marx and Engels
Hey someone suggested I use ChatGPT to figure out adulting today, and as I was going through the mental list of places I'd rather look, I realized "beloved strangers on Tumblr dot net" was on that list.
So if you have an aspect of adulting that you're really good at-taxes, budgeting, cooking, insurance, credit, time management, house upkeep, anything-please feel free to reblog with any tips.
Not me, but @bitchesgetriches has a lot of great resources for many of these topics on their website.
That's us! Professional internet adults, specializing in financial stuff! We recommend starting with our Grand List of All Articles, or one of our Masterposts:
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Taxes
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Credit and Credit Cards
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Investing for Beginners
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about How to Pay off Debt
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Living Independently for the First Time
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Repairing Our Busted-Ass World
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal
Item: The Memory Squeegee Rarity: ⏶ Common
What game would you erase from your memory just to experience it for the first time again?
Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.
Extremely difficult question but I’m going to say The Swapper.
Señor F. R. and his wife thank Saint Patrick with this retablo because they finally managed to save enough money for a giant bath in which they can make love since the two of them are pretty fat.
Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend
So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist
We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.
I love Kat dearly
but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile
so one day she throws her back out
bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright
“But also I needed Tampons and like. A Burrito, real bad.”
she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this
and, in an
impeccable
leap of reasoning, decides
“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.
But I can ARCH my back just fine.
SO
I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,
And amble on down to the 7-11”
“And get me that Burrito”
It is,
for context,
after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.
Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.
Whatever.
Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.
Fucking around in the burrito section
It’s also worth mentioning that Kat
1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention
2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so
tonight’s song is something from veggietales.
DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND
and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway
Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons
She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire,
exactly
how she used the shelves to climb up the counter
like one of the boston robotics beasties
dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.
“Register’s broke.”
“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” “Really? I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh! OK! Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”
Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11.
It took her
FOUR
FUCKING
YEARS
to realize she was the suspicious individual
every time this crosses my dash, all i can think is “i’d love to hear this from the perspective of the cashier who encountered some sort of demon buying a burrito on the night shift”
@danphanto
Item: giant sticky hand
anatomy of a humiliation
Weird Fantasy (1950) #18 written by Al Feldstein and drawn by Joe Orlando, with editor Bill Gaines
So he said it can't be a Black. So I said, "For God's sakes, Judge Murphy, that's the whole point of the Goddamn story!" So he said, "No, it can't be a Black". Bill just called him up and raised the roof, and finally they said, "Well, you gotta take the perspiration off". I had the stars glistening in the perspiration on his Black skin. Bill said, "Fuck you", and he hung up.
Al Feldstein, Tales of Terror: The EC Companion
Just to add context for those not aware of the impact of this story.
The reason it was so important for narrative purposes, was that the plot concerns the visit of the Astronaut, in his completely opaque spacesuit, to a planet populated entirely by self-aware robots (originally from Earth) who have built their own society and are petitioning to be allowed to interact with Earth again as equals.
They have a democratic government and free choice of careers etc. as the orange robot serving as guide tells the Astronaut.
The Astronaut notices that there are two different types of robot on this world; the orange ones, who are in charge, gifted access to all information and facilities. and the blue robots, who are seen as more limited in function, have less access to information and resources, and are not allowed positions of power or as wide a choice of employment opportunities. Even transportation is segregated.
The Astronaut investigates further and discovers that the blue and orange robots are actually structurally identical, there is absolutely no difference between their potential or capabilities, and it is only because the orange robots are instructed by their Educator system to consider themselves superior, that the difference exists.
The Astronaut tells the robots they are not ready for re-alignment with Earth, until they come to terms with their own unfairness, and how Earth had had to deal with this issue themselves. When that time comes, the robots will be able to ally with Earth.
Then he leaves in his spaceship, and it's only in that one final panel that we see the Astronaut is black.
Not subtle, nor should it be, but for 1950 this was a breathtakingly powerful statement, perhaps the first of it's kind in the genre.
The black character was not a caricature, or comedy relief, he was a main character in his own right, a human who "simply" was black.
When I was a professor I fucking LOVED teaching this comic. You can read the full thing here (and please read the letters to the editor at the bottom as well—including a message from Ray Bradbury).
catlike fucking reflexes btw
boiling water in a pot and messing around on my phone. so far no problem. Attempt to put phone in pocket to stir. Water is boiling. fumble phone directly into pot of boiling water and dumplings. froth rises around phone. problem. begin saying “oh no” out loud in a tone of voice somewhere between a baying dog and a deep voiced woman. rapidly spin the pot off the stove and dump it into the sink, dumplings and all. pull phone out of the resulting pile and run it briefly under cold water before thinking better of it and drying it and cooling it briefly against an ice pack. pick out and rinse dumplings from sink. cook them a little more. eat them. and i typed most of this post on that very phone because it fucking survived on account of my Catlike Reflexes
