Spock wants to smoosh your face @denverdeathgrip - Tumblr Blog

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queenofghost

Incorrect K-pop demon hunters quotes part 41

More incorrect quotes

hahaoatmeal

I can't stop thinking about these lines specifically

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

OH NO HIS ORGANS

asymbina

Fun fact: we don't know why coffee stimulates peristalsis in the large intestine (i.e. makes stuff move out of you). For the people who experience this (not everyone does), it doesn't seem to be the caffeine; it takes at least half an hour after ingestion for caffeine to start having effects on your system, and the shits typically hit well before that, often in as little as ten minutes after you finish your cup, and whatever other contents of the coffee remain in the digestive tract long enough to make it to the other end absolutely don't get there in that short of a time period. Another reason we know it's not the caffeine is that it happens even with decaf coffee (double blind trials have confirmed this) and it doesn't happen with other sources of caffeine or other closely related stimulants such as theobromine. (Theobromine is the primary stimulant in both green tea and the cacao that chocolate is made out of, and it's also why chocolate is toxic to dogs and cats — we can safely metabolize it, but they can't.)

(I was going to add some personal anecdotes but I decided that discretion is probably for the best here.)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

(Pitch meeting voice) "So ya gotta beverage for me?"

"Yes sir I do

COFFEE"

"No, my throats a little dry but I'm fine"

"No I mean coffee is what its called"

"Ohhhhhh I Humorously Misunderstood Your Meaning in a way that will probably be funnier if you read this outloud instead of read it as text on a blog"

"WHOOPS"

"WHOOPSIE

So what is this coffee stuff?"

"Well let me ask you: Have you ever wanted diarrhea????"

"Like literally everyone I would hope, my answer is no"

"Well your gonna get to experience it with this"

"It's a diarrhea drink?"

"Well no we can't market THAT"

"I would hope not, but I still felt the need to ask"

"No no no we're going to market this as something that keeps you awake and makes you EXTREMELY energetic in a way where your kind of....wired"

"So the selling points for this drink are insomnia and anxiety and also it makes you really really need to...empty your bowels"

"EXACTLY"

"Okay but I feel like its going to be a tough sell to get people to drink that"

"There are going to be MULTIPLE million-dollar franchises operating outlets in numerous countries based entirely around selling this"

"OH WOW WOW WOW....WOW"

wakingfromthewater

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

artistic-octopus

wordswithkittywitch

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

totally-not-an-al1en

whitepeopletwitter

The bean jar

barreboy

[My Chemical Romance voice]: When I was…. a young boy… my Father… had what he called the bean jar…

iridescentoracle

have i mentioned recently @allieinarden is the best

departmentq

cozyplacesbeautifulspaces

oneheadtoanother

ALT

View on Twitter

“Where do I stand on the – on the WHAT? The “Transgender Question”? Well for one thing, sir, I recall the last few usages of that particular phraseology. A group of millions is not a question – I have not yet finished speaking – not a question, but a demographic.“

“The Romans had their castrated priestesses, the Hindus their Hijras, but my god, let us take to the barricades because Uncle Al came to Thanksgiving in a skirt and pantyhose! It’s the province of rubes. Hayseed reactionaries and the worst effluvia of America’s suburban colon.”

“And Chapelle! My god, Chapelle. Embarrassing as only a true great can become in his declining years – I speak here with complete self-awareness; kindly hold your barbs – as he tires of innovation and falls back into the soporific cushion of the lowest common denominator!”

“One joke stretched until you can hear its joints popping like some poor bastard broken on the rack. “Oh my car has pronouns, I identify as a bird, I’m trans-Chinese.” The laziness of it – shameful. You should see the transgendered roast themselves; there’s true scorched earth.“

macleod

Brilliant.

derrickwildsun-deactivated20250

That video of Alex Hirsch reading S&P notes for Gravity Falls conveys a few things to me:

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

4) conservatism, not the left, is and always has been the biggest voice of censorship in American culture.

sci-fantasy

J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, was before that a producer and writer for a number of cartoons in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s (The Real Ghostbusters and the original She-Ra, most notably). After a few years of dealing with the censors and their obsession with finding Satanism (or at least looking for Satanism to further political agendas) he wrote an article about the whole corrupt and bullshit system.

And published it in Penthouse, to force those same censors to buy a skin mag. The editor there asked, why Penthouse?

That one is from his autobiography, Becoming Superman. See also:

(As he goes on to say, he’s never worked in animation again–he’s effectively been blacklisted by the cartoon industry.)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

P E A K

sandmandaddy69

sahonithereadwolf

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

marlynnofmany

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

valtsv

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

valtsv

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

valtsv

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

witchcraft-in-wonderland

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

anonymous-lizard

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

sexy-necromancing-bird

OH MY GOD

kingfisher-colours

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

ace-aussie-asshole

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

penrosesun

PSA: Don't use Open Office

I keep seeing people recommending Open Office as an alternative to Word, and uh... look, it is, technically, an open source alternative to Word. And it can do a lot of what Word can, genuinely! But it is also an abandoned project that hasn't been updated in nine years, and there's an active fork of it which is still receiving updates, and that fork is called LibreOffice, and it's fantastic.

Seriously, if you think that your choices are either "grit your teeth and pay Microsoft for a subscription" or "support free software but have a kind of subpar office suite experience", I guarantee that it's because you're working with outdated information, or outdated software. Most people I know who have used the latest version of LibreOffice prefer it to Word. I even know a handful of people who prefer it to Scrivener.

Open Office was the original project, and so it has the most name recognition, and as far as I can tell, that's really the only reason people are still recommending it. It's kind of like if people were saying "hey, the iPhone 14 isn't your only smart phone option!" but then were only ever recommending the Samsung Galaxy S5 as an alternative. LibreOffice is literally a version of the same exact program as Open Office that's just newer and better – please don't get locked into using a worse tool just because the updated version of the program has a different name!

citystompers1

Godzilla wins the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award in 1998, presented by Sir Patrick Stuart

des-shinta

PLOT-TWIST!

dead-in-a-sears-parking-lot

Someone who hasn’t watch Star Trek, please explain this picture

gamtosthegreat

everyone’s hallucinating. Red guy is having a baby, yellow guy is doing a sick air guitar solo, blue guy is getting shot in slow motion and beige guy just got out of an imaginary divorce.