From The Mind Of Dr. Prof. James

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[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[snoleopard7]

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[stratfender]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[certainly-april]

[libraford]

Are YOU gonna let THE GOVERNMENT tell YOU what YOUR GENDER is? That doesn't sound like Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to me! PROTECT your individual FREEDOMS and call your senator: we want the GOVERNMENT to stay OUT OF OUR PANTS! GENDER FREEDOM NOW!

[libraford]

Two men in your neighborhood are married... to EACH OTHER? Congratulate them for exercising their AMERICAN RIGHT to follow the footsteps of our FOUNDING FATHERS! They've got a fully AMERICAN spirit of FREEDOM and REBELLION! GOD BLESS THE USA.

[libraford]

Your coworker has a different RELIGION from yours? Well, that's just INTERESTING and you should talk about it on your UNION-APPROVED LUNCH BREAK. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA was FOUNDED on Freedom of Religion and ANYONE should be allowed to seek the AMERICAN DREAM!

[libraford]

You think someone might be in this GREAT country ILLEGALLY? NO YOU DON'T! No one is in this country illegally! The minute anyone steps on our SOVEREIGN SOIL they're your FELLOW AMERICAN and where they come from is NO ONES BUSINESS.

[rosslynpaladin]

it's funny yeah, but guys this is actually how you reach the people who prefer these terms to frame all things Good and Correct.

[rosszulorzott]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

She can't keep getting away with this

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

@the-quasar-hero

[the-quasar-hero]

I got scared when she mentioned the two plastic chairs facing each other 😥

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Where is she getting her information?

[the-quasar-hero]

We got a mole 😂

[akindplace]

do you guys remember when we googled something and we would get results that were actually related to the things we searched

[delphinidin4]

[pusong-mangga]

[ibetteracethatinterview]

[spookyboywhump]

I do really love it when women write graphic and fucked up things. I feel like so often people react to fucked up fiction with “of course a disgusting man would write this 🙄” and it often carries an unspoken (honestly sometimes spoken) message of “a woman’s PURE and DELICATE and FEMININE mind could NEVER think of something this VILE”. Thank you women in fucked up fiction 🫡

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Fucked up fiction by women you should 100% read:

[chryza]

Debating silently showing this to one of the flight attendants while boarding

[chryza]

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

[victusinveritas]

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[switchnx]

Wait that’s actually really good, gonna pop this out of the tags

[itsreallystupid]

[teaboot]

[strawberrycatcrowbar]

[epicoruulterra]

Yuzu gotta be kidding me.

[animesickos]

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

[punkrorschach]

[nerdgasrnz]

[uberguber89]

[walmart-the-official]

jeef berky

[moncalas]

you're owen lars. your father has fallen in love with a woman and she's enslaved. you and your father aren't rich, but eventually you manage to free her. this one woman. one woman on a planet full of injustices.

you're owen lars. the woman you call mom had another child once. it doesn't make her love you less, but she talks about him in a way that makes it clear that she loved him, too. he's off to be a jedi now and she's very proud.

you're owen lars. your mother's been kidnapped and you have to assume the worst. a man and a woman step into your home and the man announces himself to be that kid who went off to become a jedi. he knows you less than you know him and before anything else can happen, he takes off to bring back his mother, a feat you think is impossible.

you're owen lars. anakin skywalker brings your mom's corpse to your doorstep. her funeral is interrupted by a message of utmost galactic importance.

you're owen lars. your brother is dead. you never saw him again after that first time. there is another jedi on your doorstep, with a baby in his arm and you know what it means and you can't bring yourself to face him as he hands your nephew off to your wife.

you're owen lars. obi-wan ben kenobi is a pain in the ass. he was more your brother's brother than you ever were and he doesn't understand your particular kind of grief, is drowning in his own. you don't even know the full story and kenobi will never tell you all of it. but you have a child to care for so you tell him off and get back to work.

you're owen lars. you didn't know your brother, but you know your nephew and your nephew wants out of this place as soon as possible. you know he won't be safe out there but in the end you're helpless to stop him. and you know the stories, you remember the one time you met him, the days your mother died. and you do this for her and you do this for your father and you do this for your brother and you do this for your nephew.

you're owen lars. your last act is to protect your brother's child. your child.

[the-haiku-bot]

you’re owen lars. your

last act is to protect your

brother’s child. your child.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[epicsause-official]

had no internet for a couple of hours so i just opened my notes app and started writing a song about how john schnatter, ceo of papa johns, likes to fuck pizzas

[epicsause-official]

heres what i got for the chorus

[epicsause-official]

behold: the ballad of john schnatter aka the worst song ever written

[epicsause-official]

by the way the song technically has a basis in reality, as in its based on this one quote tweet

[epicsause-official]

just realized what i wrote accidentally kinda follows the same plot as ra ra rasputin:

guy gets into a really powerful position while also having a lot of sex

a similarly poweful group of elites become fed up with the guy and conspire to kill him

the guy dies from this plot, forever cementing his legacy as a guy who had a lot of sex

[spidersdaily]

[alientitty]

💀