DEAR READER
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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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JVL
@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du
oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Product Placement
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@enbysmuffledthoughts
*Intro Post*
*Hey, my nameโs Kayd (online name), Iโm a 16yr old teen, and this is my thoughts and feelings blog.*
*Iโm just getting feelings out and hoping I can meet sum cool people or someone I can really talk to.*
=(^-,-^)=
Adults do NOT interact.
Transphobes, Homophobes, racists, and people just looking for trouble do NOT INTERACT. You are not allowed here.
Ugghhhh being forced to go to the movies to see a movie I donโt care about with my homophobic and transphobic grandma I mentioned a few posts back, ๐ซฉ๐ซฉ๐๐
At least itโs not a graphic human trafficking one like she took me to when I was in elementary school earlyy middle school igโฆ
I dislike drunk people
GUYSSSSGUYSGUYSGUYSGUYSGUYSSSSSS I FINALLY FINISHED WATCHING MHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
It.was.so.beautifulllllllll ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ and made me cry so many times haha
It gets a bad rep sometimes bcuz some fans BUT LIKE THE SHOW ITSELF IS SOOOO CRAZY GOOD!!!!
โผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธ
Obviously no spoilers but it has SUCH a satisfying ending and i love the details and how everything gets wrapped up perfectly AAAAHHHHH ๐๐๐๐๐!!!!!
I seriously recommend watching the series (anddd maybe movies, they arenโt exactly required but youโd appreciate knowing more of the story :33!!!!!!!!)
My favorite movie would probably be World Heroes Mission!!! I wanted and liked it so much I bought it a long time ago lol
<3!!!!!
Reblog game
reblog with your current obsession
I'll go first: Hazbin Hotel
@fandomsfan1 @appleisoffline @speakofthedebbie @oneofwaytoomanyfandoms and anyone else!
Oooh fun :0
But yeah itโs Supernatural and Iโm really normal about it trust me
(Honorable mention to the constants as well: Dr. Who, YuGiOh, Zelda, Green Day, and folklore/mythology lol)
@celestial-wormz @volodam @moonprismpower456 @4ratsinasweater + open tags :D
Ty for the tag!
Currently it's Vox Machina- I've watched the animates show and now I'm slowly trudging through the actual campaign lol
@jarpout @captainvoidstar (oo don't know if you can see this if my blog is marked :( ) @scribble-clover
Tysm for the tag @4ratsinasweater
THE OUTSIDERS- obviously but I think everyone can already tell abt that lmao. That book/TV show/Movie/Musical owns my heart and soul and I love it way too much.
tags: @magicgaypersom @happysaly @char-char-f0x @kidbrother2012 @jxhnnycvd3 @jbelistired @sincerelycubes @twizthehumansupernova
shit im late as hell but thanks for tag twin !! ๐
honestly it's probably the outsiders as well but i'm also starting to fall for the marvel rivals agenda sooo (im cooked....)
oh yeah, and geoff castellucci. duh/aff
npt! -> @char-char-f0x @thatonepointbraincell @h4untednymph @jayartngamingyt @lagatosvoladores @localobbsesdteeen @inkamations @cupcroco @stainedglasswindoom @moonlight-lunna @bellefromhelle @fourquartertoast @joeyyoink @glooberousgoon @seleyaaaa @cloudiivision
um why would I have any hyperfixations ๐
wind breaker, link click, jujutsu kaisen, gachiakuta, tamon's b side
Tags: @bananawaddledee @kaomikun @mikaoraa @greylilyblue @laterosal @neptunevenusl0v3r780 @sha1mon @littlechaoscryptid @yawshai
The game dream daddy is the main one of all time that I could go on about for DAYS but the album trout mask replica is something more recent
@enbysmuffledthoughts @sesneksheep
Sighhhhhhhh (DreeEeaAMMmm DaAdDyYy~~, if ppl actually heard like 4 seconds into a playthrough or actually played the game theyโd get it ๐๐)
Anyways for me, mainly like FanMade Media like fanfics and people kinda making characters their own and writing more into their story or making a new one that their beloved characters could get a better ending..cough cough like a certain just finished series..(jkโฆhj..I still like the series but like it couldโve been better and even the fans wrote a mostly better ending..srry)
If you want an actual answerrr like Finn Wolfhard movies (I especially like how he plays Boris in The Goldfinch and the accent I feel really sets his character personality in compared to his other roles Yโknow? lol),
Stranger things (lmao also when I said fan-media I saw this funny remake about season one of ST that was hella funny :>>, also just One Wheat Mark../OWM..),
uhhh Mha (Gets lots of trash by ppl because of the fandom but I thinkkk most of the fandom is pretty nice that I mostly seen (and Iโve been in it since the Covid, Zoom call, Fresh kid/teen mostly friendly โcringeโ special interest friendly space TikTok era) and itโs ACTUALLY SO FREAKING PEAKKK like Iโve cried to it idek how many times!! Mha is a great show and Iโll sink on the boat, tho I havenโt seen the spinoff which Iโm told is also peak),
Uhh Be More Chill (Musicalll and the fandom kindaaa died down but trusttt Itโs good..I like the original like musical with the Two River theater crew, I think itโs called and I donโt think Iโve seen the broadway version more than once probably but I really like the song they added called โLoser Geek Whateverโ because the vocals and lyrics, basically everything abt it is just ๐งโ๐ณ๐๐๐),
Smii7y Videos (Funny funny man totally recommend, he posts like gaming videos and he and the group he plays with is hilarious!! pleaseeeee trusttt me on thisss๐๐๐),
O yeah also some Outsiders :>>!!
Peak, Anygays Yerrrr ๐๐๐๐๐๐
(Also if youโre wondering โwhy is this so longโ my hyper fixations are currently /constantly taking turns like a playground roundabout, constantly getting smushed together, new hyperfixations hopping on, and old or ones I havenโt thought abt in a while hop off and take a rest, becuz theyโll most likely hop on again later lol
Also the (โsmushed togetherโ could also mean like โwhat ifโ crossover thingys or just focusing on like 3 for awhile)
I was obsessed with One Wheat Mark (ST related) for awhile tho lmao.
Ty for listening to my yapping!!!!!!
Tags!: @pyriteromantic @transcommiefromouterspace @findingnewstars @kralbubemuke2 @pickyeater101 @deedeethedevil
<3
UHHHHHH hi guysssโฆ..donโttttt mind I havenโt posted in awhile but yeah!!! Kinda sorta back for a bit hehe
Sooooo ๐๐โฆkinda a lovey dovey yearn post soo uh yeah!!!! (Ew people being in love? Barf!!! <-satire heheheh)
Do notttt continue reading if you donโt wanna read lovey stuff lmao (also contains MAASSSIIVEEE amounts of rainbow text like you wouldnโt believeโฆitโs as queer as me bro which is..pretty queer, for the wifey amiโright people Ayyy ๐๐)
I wonder who this issssss
Yeah guys this is a total mystery ๐ง๐ค๐คโฆ.
ME AND MY GF RAHHHH !!!!!!!!
Edit!!!: uhhhh didnโt rlly age well lol bcuz me and my gf broke up likeee a teeny bit over a month ago I think sooooooo yeahh, no bad blood btw it was mutual and we were kinda both busy and didnโt agree with want exactly we wanted in our relationship and stuff sooo yeahh single again ๐
UHHHHHH hi guysssโฆ..donโttttt mind I havenโt posted in awhile but yeah!!! Kinda sorta back for a bit hehe
Sooooo ๐๐โฆkinda a lovey dovey yearn post soo uh yeah!!!! (Ew people being in love? Barf!!! <-satire heheheh)
Do notttt continue reading if you donโt wanna read lovey stuff lmao (also contains MAASSSIIVEEE amounts of rainbow text like you wouldnโt believeโฆitโs as queer as me bro which is..pretty queer, for the wifey amiโright people Ayyy ๐๐)
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(Source)
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
I noticed there isnโt one here for Ireland, so
Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123
last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:
so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.
keep yourselves safe!
1,283 days left
Take this anyone who needs it!
Okay a sad post (which is why there wonโt be any colorful fonts..)
So Christmas time right? I know lots of people that felt like Christmas was a bit disappointing or off in goodness/vibes in general but for my situation I had to spend the time with my dadโs parents.
For the backstory, I never really had a good relationship with my dadโs mother (his stepdad/my grandfather Iโm okay with since other than being strict heโs never really mistreated me), when I was little she would have me and my siblings dress up, practically everytime we went over to her house to take photos with my grandpaโs camera, and maybe I liked it or at the very least tolerated it for years, but when I became like 8-10 I remember breaking down CRYING trying to tell this woman to stop this, putting me in dresses when I was clearly uncomfortable in them, I canโt remember if she listened to me or not (Iโm honestly not sure where my parents were at the time).
Also her husband/my stepfatherโs kid they havenโt seen in so long because she makes her kids uncomfortable because one or two of them that are boys like โfeminine/girl thingsโ like painting their nails or are trans (I havenโt seen them in so long either) but her kids (she has like 5 of them) also took place in these forced photoshoots, they looked as uncomfortable as me and my siblings did (also my older brother trans so Iโm pretty sure he was as dysphoric as me or even more dysphoric as me, cause at that time I didnโt even know I was trans/non-binary.).
But yeah eventually the forced photoshoots stopped, thatโs great news right?!? WRONGG!! because for YEARS she sent me presents, basically kidnapped me on random โhangoutsโ my parents only had knowledge of beforehand (Iโm not even joking the woman would take me out โfor stuff for me to chooseโ but I I chose anything REMOTELY LGBTQ+ she would say a flat out no, also she fucking had me see a CHILD HUMAN TRAFFICKING MOVIE when I was like 12-13 that showed me uncomfortable imagery because of course itโs a heavy fucking topic that yeah a minor should be warned about BUT NOT IN THAT WAY. NEVER IN THAT MUCH DETAIL.), and she also wrote me letters (AND ONLY ME, not my older brother, not my younger brother, NOT.even.my.parents. Me.) so yeah that was hella uncomfortable, I tried to make peace and be comfortable but she made it SO hard. The reason she even wrote me so many letters was because sheโs pushing her โguiltโ onto me because she wasnโt there for my dad when his dad died, she had sent/drove him away to spend time with other family members for awhile. Other than that Iโm dadโs first-born, and because my older brother isnโt his, she excludes him so much, I legit have letters that sheโll say she โlovesโ me and my little brother, and purposely excludes my older brother. Also yeah my DEADNAME is basically a female version of my DEAD grandfatherโs name. I know he was a nice man and all but Iโm NOT him, or something of his to remember.
Iโve TRIED to reason with her, Iโve ghosted her until my parents convinced me to contact her, which I did and told her EXACTLY EVERYTHING Iโve rehearsed in my head every.single.time.sheโd.hurt.me (emotionally and mentally), how she treats me like shit. How she doesnโt respect me. How she doesnโt respect my pronouns. How she doesnโt respect my chosen name. How she doesnโt fucking care about MY choices and how shitty it makes me feel every fucking time Iโve had to hear her refer to me as a female for the 1000th time in my fucking life along with one of her sisters and some family. That calling me [DEADNAME]-girl is FUCKING TRIGGERING. That if she dares feel sad reading what I wrote, that she causes me that pain TENFOLD.
And you know what she said after that. โThat makes me sad.โโฆ
I couldnโt even go to my bed-ridden dying great grandmaโs house. I couldnโt go inside without crying not only from that but her and some of the other family members calling me that name. ALWAYS using female pronouns, and repeating them PURPOSELY, everytime I went there I could only have the stomach to wait outside back of the house, no matter how cold it was or how I felt, NOTHING was as bad as that shitty feeling.
I regret not telling my great grandmother how thankful I was to her though, thankful for letting my family in her house, thankful for letting me and my siblings grow up in her house and along with our cousins, thankful for her always taking care of her grandkids and great grandchildren, thankful for always being there for my little brother who'd always chatted and took care of her, and thankful for all the memories she had made and let us make while in her care.
So, yeah, first Christmas without her, pretty shitty already. I had to spend time at my dads moms house, for two whole days along with that one sister of hers that makes me uncomfortable with her, I couldnโt even spend time with my moms parents (my favorite grandparents that may not use the right pronouns or name but still love me as a person and sparingly uses them both), we couldnโt see them because my dads mothers house was already closer and sheโd asked my parents first to begin with, also my parents has to work the next few days and shit that honestly we couldโve worked around, if we had time to spend a whole other day there we shouldโve had time to go see my mothers parents, that actually have a nice family that were beyond bummed by my family not being there. It just sucks.
Other than ranting because Iโve never ever had a chance to VENTT about this woman, the reason why I made this post is because they (her and some family including her sister) showed up at my house (with a heads up but still) I felt so uncomfortable having them here, I hate how after everything I said to her, she STILL talks to me the same (granted she doesnโt send me letters or random presents that arenโt even of my interests).
I still canโt just let it go. My parents let her here, they let her talk to me that way, Iโve come out to them (kinda) and they know she makes me uncomfortable for what she says. She showed them the texts I sent her, her trying to rat me out, they even had a meeting and my parents took my side. And they still let her make me feel like shit because โsheโs not used to this stuffโ. No. Her attitude and disrespect doesnโt come from a misunderstanding. A CHILD could tell that what sheโs doing is mean and bully behavior. She deliberately doesnโt try to understand. She HATES me as a person and only ever saw me as someone to control, spend forced time with, and waste money on things I didnโt even like or need JUST because she felt bad for herself, felt like she needed someone to replace whatever time she lost with my dad, felt me (a person born female, my dads first child, named after her DEAD HUSBAND..) felt like the perrrffect target.
But yeah sheโs here or was here by the end of writing this, her and her alike thinking sister are already gone from my house. I hope so at least.
Iโve definitely ignored some responsibilities but seeing as my parents didnโt care for this Iโm sure theyโll take the blame this time.
But yes, I just wanted to scream and cry and ugly cry into a ball on a couch or bed this whole time. I even wondered if drastically changing my appearance to be more โmasculine likeโ, change my hair, or even try going on testosterone would help her, for people and my family for me to stop thinking that way about me- to pass more โManleyโ to stop the pain of being repressed and SHOVED back into the closet just for FINALLY being comfortable being more feminine, from trying to heal the โtraumaโ of her forcing me into dresses and skirts and constantly being miserable and misgendered.
It felt like I was being erased. Being forced under a weight that feels like no matter how I present myself, people will always see my birth gender as me. That Iโll have to change myself completely to the standard stereotype of โdressing transโ and go on testosterone JUST to make people question my gender, my existence, and hope they get the context clues or not be a bitch to get the hint that Iโm not a female.
PLEASE READ
Idk if anybody needs this but your intrusive thoughts are valid! Even if it's something sex related or something else that isn't the more socially accepted version of intrusive thoughts. Those thoughts are not you! And you aren't an awful person!!! In fact, if you stop thinking you are, you will think of the bad things less!
We all deserve a hug for our mental issues. And that includes ppl with really bad mental issues!
:] agreed!!!
^^^NEON COLORS AND LIGHTS AND PARTY VIBESSS ๐๐๐๐๐๐
โค๏ธ๐น๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐ธ๐๐๏ธ๐ฆโ๐ฅ๐งก๐๐๐๐ ๐น๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅญ๐งถ๐ฉณ๐ฆบ๐ถ๐ธ๐โญ๏ธ๐ป๐๐๐ผ๐๐ฅ๐๐ง๐โ ๏ธ๐ฏ๐๐๐๏ธ๐๐๐๐ด๐๐ธโ๏ธ๐ฟ๐๐ฅ๐ฑ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ณ๐งค๐ฅโณ๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐พ๐ฅฆ๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐ฅฌ๐งฉ๐ถ๐๐ช๐ฉฒ๐ชฒ๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐๐ฝ๐ชฃ๐๐ฆ๐งข๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐๐๐ฅฃ๐น๐๐งต๐ท๐๐ฉต๐๏ธ๐ซ๐๏ธ๐๐ฃ๏ธ๐๐ซ๐ผ๐๐ฃ๐ฝ๐ฉฑ๐ฅฟ๐๐๐ฆ๐พ๐โ๏ธ๐ชป๐ช๐ ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐ง๐ฉโ๐ค๐ง๐งโโ๏ธ๐บ๐โ๏ธ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐งฌ๐๐๐๐๐ธ๐๐บ๐๐๐ท๐ท๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐ฉท๐๐ฆฉ๐ฉฐ๐๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ฆ
ARGHHHHH okayโฆ itโs how moment youโve all been wanting forโฆMY LOVESICK THOUGHTS๐ฅธ๐๐!!
Seriously though thereโs this person Iโve lowkey been crushing on but I know theyโre not interested in me like at all (have I confessed?- you might be asking and the answer is no- not ever in my damn LIFEEE because in a dammnnn wimp when it comes to confessing and never had the guts to confess to any of my crushes before-) anyways I know that because although I consider us friends we arenโt that close and I donโt know how to because they kinda intimidate me like theyโre so much smarter and serious and cool and when they make eye contact with me I get nervous but they also said they donโt get crushes on friends so Iโm majority cooked (not that I had a chance anyway) and theyโre also MOVING away by like the end of the year/beginning of the year and Iโm sad to lose them, more than a crush, theyโre still a friend :[[
And Iโm planning to make them a gift!! Well all my friend a gift- but I wanna make this one even more special! Iโm just worried they wonโt like or it has the wrong like fabric/s because I wanna make them a stuffy/plushie but urghhhhh idk Iโm worried about it.
But yeah a bit more along the lines of dating I just want a person to loveee, someone to hug and cuddle with even if itโs a train ride or an hour drive away Yโknow? Someone to share my interests with, sleep over with, game with, and just have real conversations with, just be idiots in love. Itโs always what I wanted out of a relationship, just love.
I know my crush will disappear they always kinda do, they have to, Iโve never let myself do anything with these feelings of love because I know whatโll play out. Rejection, I canโt do that to myself so Iโd rather sit there beside them until they move on with other people and push the feelings down. Being a queer teenager is hard, especially in a little-ish town with social anxiety and my need to please others, confession issues, and little to desire looks, granted I donโt look bad I think I just donโt like my face sometimes and chubbyness at times, but I do think I mostly care about my face looks haha ๐ ๐
But yeah the lovesick thoughts debut is finally here, and they are a lot of thoughts.
=(^~โข~^)=
^extra pic donโt mind the lesbian flag that was b4 I found out I was Omni ~_~
HOLYYYY SHITTTTT THE NEW STRANGER THINGS SEASON DID NOT DISAPPOINTT!!!!!
I seriously wonโt spoil anything but omfg yesssssss itโs so good and answered quite a bit of questions/small-ish theories and more characters interactinggg omggg (it made me cry like 3 times fr)
I would seriously recommend watching it if you havenโt already!! I CANโTTT WAIT TO SEE THE REST OF THE SEASSOOONNNN ๐๐๐๐๐!!
=(^โญ๏ธvโญ๏ธ^)=
Soooooooโฆ.Iโve figured out that Iโm Omnisexual. I think thatโs the closest label that describes me ๐๐ฉท๐ค๐๐ฉต!!
[you can imagine that thatโs the Omni flag thereโs unfortunately no tumblr gifs with it that I sawโฆ=(^โข~โข^)=. ]
Btw those that donโt know Omnisexual means being attracted to people of all genders, but unlike Pansexual people who donโt care much at all of/for gender, omnisexuals do notice/can prefer a certain gender or genders.
(I pretty much love all genders except men becauseee yeah men arenโt rlly my strong suit and intimidate me a bit buttt cool happy guys personality wise or lmao twinks/j, but really just cool people in general that show me love ๐ซถ๐ค๐ค).
Mmmmm Iโm sooo not excited for school tomorrowww!! Thank goodness I only have to for like 3 days for the week tho since we had a small break ๐ฅณ๐ฅณ!!
Always Iโll hopefully have some time to do unfinished schoolwork and clean my room and get rid of some clothes (cause bro I have way too manyyy-๐ญ๐ญ)
But yeah hope yaโll enjoy your November so far ๐๐
(Side Note: Iโm SO HYPED for the 5th season of stranger things!!!
(and I guess other things coming in later Nov since I think thereโs sum more stuff coming out that I canโt remember rn!!))
^kinda unrelated but I found these funny ๐๐๐
=(^โขwโข^)=
(Also we ignore the fact I incidentally didnโt post for like the last 1-2 days..Iโll get better I promise โค๏ธโ๐ฉนโค๏ธโ๐ฉน)
Otters ๐ฆฆ
They look soo cute <33
=(^~w~^)=
