Texts and Images from Chapter 2 of Jackie Pike: Chief WAG Recruitment Officer
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Texts and Images from Chapter 2 of Jackie Pike: Chief WAG Recruitment Officer
We talk a lot about Shane’s closet. The flat color of the paint on the walls. Its contents are piled high, hangers filled and shelves packed, but it’s also organized, everything in its place. Everything perfect, if only everyone else would follow his plan, he can find a way out of it that won’t make anything fall.
But what about Ilya’s closet?
Ilya views his sexuality positively, but practically. He is attracted to men, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s be serious. It’s a treat. Something you do to indulge. A vacation from the path that he must walk. I don’t believe one single article of Ilya’s being thought he would end up with a man until it was too late. He already loved one. Oops.
He hasn’t built an elaborate closet organizational system like Shane, he simple aborts the possibility before it forms. My coach’s son, nothing serious. It’s just a plan to fuck. We get together, we fuck, it’s simple. Even at the cottage: Hollander! It’s not a big deal!
I believe Ilya saw his life as inevitable, rather than trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, like Shane, where there’s effort to hide. To Ilya, it’s simple. Ilya would marry a woman, maybe Svetlana, maybe someone else who he likes and gets along with. Women are fantastic, he prefers them, canonically, or at least acknowledges that it’s easier to prefer them. Have children, he loves kids! No problem. His life is not going to rock the boat, so what does it matter if he fucks a few men now? What does it matter if Shane Hollander stays the night and Ilya makes him a tuna melt and says his name tenderly because he wants to? None of this is real. None of this is the inevitable life that will be his. Is his.
You can contrast this to Ilya’s relationship to hockey, which I think, like Shane, he thought would be the pillar of his life. It would be his actual legacy. Where he made an impact for himself and others.
I think Ilya’s relationship to his bisexuality is tied up with what he thinks he’s deserves as a person. He’s a good lay for men and women, but he’s not anyone’s top choice. And that’s fine, he doesn’t want to get tangled up in feelings anyway. Better to keep things friendly and transactional, like with Svetlana. Like with Hollander! We have a good thing, maybe we can push it a little bit because neither of us have expectations of the other and—oh shit.
You don’t like me: I’m the fun party guy. I’m the guy who fucks you good, I’m not someone you should stake a claim on, someone that should occupy your thoughts. After all, I will not be getting deeply involved. My life is laid out before me, and this doesn’t matter. It can’t matter. We can’t be something, Hollander.
But instead, as we see, Ilya Rozanov dedicates himself to a sweeping, all-encompassing, queer love. He accepts that he has a well of feeling to share, that he has the ability to love deeply despite inconvenience. That he can go against the grain, and be strong. That he isn’t inherently lazy! There’s another Ilya Rozanov in a different universe that said this is too much. I’m supposed to just fall into a life, not build one from scratch.
There’s a reckoning there. But there’s also triumph. Because where Shane must surrender control to find self-acceptance, Ilya must accept that he has to take control of his life in order to find love, contentment, and joy. No one is going to make this happen for him. He has to build it from scratch.
Shane has one (1) emotional conversation about his situationship with his girlfriend and immediately decided that he wanted Ilya… I’m telling you the man never stood a CHANCE. Shane walks into the bar looking fine as hell, who needs to do all that on a TRAVEL DAY to the ASG but he has a Man to Woo so he walks UP TO HIM IMMEDIATELY (social anxiety who, shane doesn’t know her) and starts f l i r t i n g with Ilya “I’m feeling a bit wild” “I’ve always wanted to play on a team with you” “nice shirt, you’re pulling it off” shane turned it up to 100 and Ilya folded like a bad hand. Shane Hollander flirting with Ilya rozanov in a bar full of hockey players in broad daylight is literally ilyas dream
look at this
it's a Reinassance painting.
THE POSE
LOOK AT THESE HANDS
i cannot make this up. they're so perfect
rushing to be together and then absolutely trying everything possible to slow time to stay together 
people rag on ilya for sticking his tongue in shane's mouth during the sweet kiss in the tampa hotel room in 1x05 bc like, he's crying and upset and this is meant to be a comforting kiss more than anything
but like.... you gotta remember that this man has not kissed shane since tuna meltdown which was like MONTHS and MONTHS ago. he thought they were over! he thought shane had moved on, got a girlfriend, didn't need him anymore!! he thought he'd ruined everything between them and been brutally rejected!!
that was their REUNION kiss. a BREAKTHROUGH kiss, after they both just talked about some really emotional stuff and opened up to one another. after shane apologised and expressed that he does actually like ilya back.
so like.... go for it babe. stick your whole fucking tongue down your not-boyfriend's throat, you deserve it!!!!!!
I cannot stop thinking about what a fucking year Ilya had in 2014
Putin warns gay people not to spread propaganda during Sochi Olympics
Every Western media outlet wants a sound bite from Ilya, a Russian superstar who’s lived in the West for five years, regarding the gay propaganda laws
Ilya has to thread the needle of neither denouncing or promoting Russia’s stance
Ilya leads the National Hockey Team to a demoralising crash out
The prettiest man in the world makes the unbelievably stupid decision that now is a good time and place to talk to each other in public for the first time ever
He is upbraided by his Papa
Sveta completely misreads what he needs, and he can’t even be mad about it because at least she’s trying
The Bolotnaya Square protesters are convicted
Russia moves troops into Crimea
He keeps frantically googling pictures of Shane in the middle of the night
Russian opposition leaders are detained
G8 suspends Russian membership
Boston makes the playoffs
The Russian government enacts laws tightening control of dissemination of information, categorising bloggers alongside journalists
The Donetsk and Luhansk referenda, unrecognised by the international community
Boston wins the Stanley Cup
Has panic attack in a bathroom, is immediately accused of being an asshole for arriving on time
Successfully convinces himself he’s capable of having sex with Shane without feelings, definitely doesn’t cry once he’s alone
Super super fun happy times summer with his ailing father
MH17 shot down by Russian-made missile
Russia hits back at sanctions by banning food imports, sends food prices soaring
Oil prices crash, halving Russia’s national budget
Foreign ownership in Russia media is capped
Has Totally No Strings No Feelings secret sex with Shane, everything is Chill
Russian financial crisis hits, prices of food up 40 to 50%, some KHL teams can’t even pay their players
And all throughout this, every time he opens Facebook he’s tagged in yet another hundred fucking ALS ice bucket challenges
SHANE & ILYA + parallels
Idk guys I just feel like the whole Metroyageur betrayal hits a lot harder when you recognize that Shane actually liked his guys and hung out with them and enjoyed being their captain. Like yeah okay they end up being human garbage but if Shane KNEW that they were human garbage it wouldn't matter to him so much when they turn on him. I know that the idea that an ugly soul is obvious on the face is weirdly pervasive in certain contexts but I cannot stress enough that sometimes you don't see that shit coming. Yes there was probably some casual homophobia and racism happening in that locker room but there is probably not a single environment where Shane wasn't experiencing at least some of that except maybe his own kitchen table. Even ILYA says that weird thing about his looks. If Shane presses the eject button on socializing with everyone who ever said the word cocksucker in his presence he would literally be a paraiah. And we know that's not the case. Shane is beloved in his city and in his room. Until he's not.
Ilya on Twitter, so proud, after Shane scores a hat-trick: Did you all see my husband? 😍😍😍
Certified husband guy Ilya Rozanov after someone calls him a cocksucker on the ice: Have you seen my husband? Yes, I suck his cock. So sad for you that you will never get to.
Ilya Rozanov, showing up late to a gala after his husband, Shane Hollander, was away for some commercial shoot and he didn't get to see him before the event, looking genuinely frantic: Have you seen my husband anywhere??
Ilya out for lunch with Shane, when the bill comes along: Oh, my rich hockey player husband will take care of that.
Ilya Rozanov, drunk out of his mind at his husband-mandated night out with Cliff (because he needs the enrichment), not so gently turning down some woman who's blatantly flirting with him: Do you even know who my husband is???
Ilya "Down Atrocious" Hollander-Rozanov when one of Shane's commercials plays at Monk's after a game: Everyone shut up! My husband is on TV!
the way they’re looking at each other here
Hudson Williams is so racist his team is made up of POC.
Hudson Williams is so misogynistic he decided to work with female directors for his first projects out of Heated Rivalry.
Hudson Williams hates Black people so much he decided he should have a Black woman as his stylist.
Hudson Williams is so homophobic he chose to play a bottom in gay show with care and his past filmography include include earnest stories about queer relationships and identity.
Hudson Williams is so ableist he chose to portray Shane in a way that was not popular or easy to digest for the masses in order to provide a more realistic portrayal that autistic and other neurodivergent people can connect with.
How dare he be so kind, empathetic, talented, progressive, inclusive, and uplifting. It's almost like people have been lying about him for months.
Good morning, I’m thinking about seeing and being seen again.
Thinking about how in episode 1 we get a front row seat to Shane and Ilya’s first intimate moments, and it’s sweet and sexy and fun. How we’re along for the journey as much as they are.
Thinking about episode 2 and we’re watching Ilya watch Shane, but we’re the ones who really see them.
Thinking about episode 4 at Ilya’s house, how we start out so far away before we press in so close, like we’re right there with them. Thinking about how the frottage almost feels too painful to witness, but they don’t let us look away. How Shane and Ilya lock eyes with us at the end of the episode: I see you. Do you see me?
Thinking about episode 5 and how they shut us out of the Tampa hotel room, like what happens there is too fragile and new to let anyone else see.
Thinking about when we’re invited in again during the light of day in episode 6, yet we’re on the outside now. We’re allowed to watch, but they’re the ones who can finally see.
connor storrie and hudson williams invented kissing for heated rivalry
Sometimes I think about the fact that almost every single person who found out about Shane and Ilya felt the need to ask Shane "him? really? he's the one you want to be with?"
I think about how Ilya has had to make his way through life mostly on his own since he was twelve years old, about how he moved to a new country as a teenager and was immediately thrust in front of a camera without knowing the language or how to cope with his newfound fame. I think about the preconceived notions of Russians and how, in the absence of being able to accurately communicate (both because of the language barrier and his repressive upbringing), Ilya decided to or was forced to lean into that stereotype. I think about how soft Ilya allows himself to be with Shane, about how he takes care of him, about how silly and goofy he can be, how he's sometimes just a grown kid, how other times he's the only person who can shut Shane's brain off. I think about how kind he is, how caring, how deeply he feels, how incredibly empathetic he is. I think about how wildly Shane loves him. How there literally never could have been anyone else. I think about how incredibly hurtful it is that no one trusts Shane to make his own decisions about his own fucking life and how much it hurts seeing the coldness the world regards his partner with. I think about Shane getting home and walking straight into Ilya's arms, after having to (once again) justify his love for the best man he's ever known, allowing himself to take comfort in his warm embrace, even when it feels to Shane like he should be the one providing both comfort and shelter.
I think about the surety Shane would feel when thinking to himself, "yes. Him. No one else."