AnasAbdin
taylor price
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ellievsbear
styofa doing anything
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Product Placement
Mike Driver
Show & Tell
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Discoholic 🪩
Three Goblin Art
will byers stan first human second
@theartofmadeline
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
⁂
todays bird
noise dept.
Sade Olutola
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@forever-friday
This doesn’t include the best bit of the whole thing - she found the Twitter thread!
This is like one of those romance novels where people bond over accidentally writing each other emails but better.
Like Pride and Prejudice but instead of the love interest getting dissed for his toxicity and then reforming, it’s just two people bonding over dissing a dead toxic asshole.
10/10 would recommend
my body is not a temple as much as it is like. a 1999 toyota corolla
I’m crying over this picture
the x files is funny because at the time it was “progressive” or whatever to have the ultra-rational, levelheaded character be a woman
but it’s also a show where all the fucked up alien shit actually is real, so she’s just constantly wrong about everything
What’s funny is how often they’re both wrong. Mulder will be like “the victims all had their livers scooped clean out this is obviously the aliens escalating from cattle mutilation” and Scully will be like “don’t be silly Mulder this is clearly just a serial killer who’s really good with surgical tools” and then it turns out the actual killer is an immortal sewer man who comes out ever quarterly century to feast on human liver.
I cannot stress enough that this is literally the plot of an actual episode
this was so wild
Someone explain
The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.
In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.
The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.
The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.
the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy
This is the worst website ever and I love it.
I’d rather see Tumblr die than see it stop being like this.
This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life
This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨❤️👨.
The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while
woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery
From ancient to abstract, this one sure got around.
Japanese one made no sense to me until I finally saw the “sale sale/sasa lele” version. セール セール。 But then it’s a meme so it has to be misspelled? 🤷♂️
I find it absolutely hilarious that after playing the popularised sexy man “James Bond” for what feels like a millennium, Daniel Craig has only now reached tumblr sexy man status by playing a funky southern gay detective with a hubby that bakes sour bread. If this is not the most on brand tumblr thing I don’t know what is
What do you mean you hatched an egg you bought at the SUPER MARKET
Ohohoho
So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.
I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.
And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”
And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.
On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% - the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!
Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.
I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.
And as of today’s 7am Quacking - Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.
You wouldn’t download a duck
I recently came out to my mother's side of the family who are majority conservative christians and it went much better than I expected. Like, they were weirdly supportive. I only got one comment insinuating that I might possibly be going to hell but it came from my aunt and she's dying soon anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway, I'm telling them how shocked I am and that I honestly thought that they'd have more of a problem with it when my grandma is like "Well you know we've been through this before with your uncle Nicky" and I'm like "what" and so it turns out that my uncle Nick was born a Natalie, came out as a boy at 19, and my great grandma proceeded to pay for his top surgery and hormone therapy. In 1974. And I just had to process for a bit because my entire life no one has referred to him as anything other than he/him and his chosen name. I ask why no one ever thought to mention this and they're just like "tbh we forgot. It's been so long that he's been a man" This man is married. He has a wife and three kids. I ask my relatives how they went about having kids, whether through adoption or sperm donor or what and none of them know. Apparently he just told everyone that they were gonna be parents and then one day showed up at my grandma's house with a baby. No questions were asked. Just. He and his wife had a baby now and that was that. Three times. Weeks later when I finally talk to my aunt Sarah (Nick's wife) all she tells me is that neither of them have ever been pregnant and, I quote, "sometimes you just come into children". She phrased it like people use the phrase "come into money". Like children are something that just happens to you. I ask my relatives if any of them had a problem with Nick being trans at the time, saying I'd understand if they had negative feelings about it, as it was the 1970s after all. They were like "nope" and i was just like "you didn't think anything of it?" And my grandfather was like "these things happen" while the other adults nodded sagely. So I guess the moral here is that if my conservative christian relatives could accept my uncle as trans in the 1970s then there really isn't any excuse for anyone. And also my family needs to ask more questions because I'm fairly sure my aunt and uncle stole their kids.
I’m laughing my ass off at that last sentence- But I’m so glad your coming out went well! That’s one heck of a way to find out you have LGBT relatives.
Oh my god Chloe you’re right and you should say it
Fun fact: Victor Gruen, the “inventor” of the modern shopping mall, wanted his malls to be full of apartments, schools, medical facilities, and indoor parks in addition to the stores, so people could live, work, and shop under one roof. This never happened and instead all the space was used for stores, something that he hated.
It’s not just a case of ‘hey it would be easy to repurpose all this space’, malls were originally designed to be living centers and it wouldn’t take that much tweaking to bring them back to it.
“I am often called the father of the shopping mall,” he once said, reflecting on his career two years before his death in 1978. “I would like to take this opportunity to disclaim paternity once and for all. I refuse to pay alimony to those bastard developments. They destroyed our cities.”
thinking about hardison's nana and the fbi. they show up, she invites them in for tea and skillfully dodges their questions. plays up the flustered old lady act and they leave with cookies but no answers.
she raised two high-level hackers, she's definitely on some kind of invented-just-for-her watchlist. they track her internet activity but she posts "how to google" on facebook and nobody's sure if it's real or not (including hardison)
Unpopular opinion: Being intelligent isn’t an excuse for being unkind.
Pretentious asshole is OUT! Pretentious Sweetheart is IN! Wearing dapper clothes and holding the door open for others makes you feel COOL AS H*CK! Glance up from your hefty books to give a stranger a smile!! Quote literature to inspire others! Be presumptuous in the way that you presume that everyone needs their day to be a little brighter!!!
Administration showed us this tweet on day one of grad school and boy did it hit home
“distinguished yourself by being kind” is my literal life motto at work, holy shit
when i was a child my dad made up a fake holiday called big sandwich night the weekend after thanksgiving, during which we got the longest bread we could find and built a big sandwich together and then cut it up and ate it. we got really fancy ingredients and each built our own section of sandwich before cutting it. building the sandwich together represents community or teamwork or something. and then we would put our christmas tree up and the holiday season was officially kicked off with big sandwich night.
i grew up believing this was a real holiday that americans everywhere celebrated until when i was like 8 i asked a friend if they were excited for big sandwich night and they were like what the hell are you talking about riley. kind of shattered my worldview. but we still celebrate it and ive spread the tradition to friends and partners.
big sandwiches of years past:
as weve included more people weve started having to graft loaves together to make a sandwich big enough for everyone. but it still communicates the core idea of everyone eating the same sandwich together in fellowship.
Event: Big Sandwich Night
