Mexican Not Mexican't

[buffbeethoven]

caught her mid scratchy time

[zackthelion]

miderbeas....

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[sreegs]

the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain

[radwolf76]

Canny Mountain, Charlie!

[tilthat]

TIL a star discovered 75 light-years away is no warmer than a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

via reddit.com

[bloggersremorse-deactivated2018]

Yeowch!

[bloggersremorse-deactivated2018]

Still preddy hot

[edgar-allan-possum]

Most important topic in conservation and no one's talking about it

[edgar-allan-possum]

Get peer-reviewed because you're so right. We don't even see people fall over from shock or big sweat drop anymore.

[treecitysessions]

[despazito]

they just added sparkledogs to the kennel club registry

[despazito]

[despazito]

they carried a generation

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[paper-wounds]

[guineapiggies]

Via cid_dwyer

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[laeffy]

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

[thyrell]

her what

[thyrell]

does anyone know whag the rest of it says

[carnival-phantasm]

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

[carnival-phantasm]

X

[we-are-ninja]

@theoutcastrogue

[chibikuroneko13]

cant believe you didnt include the full sentence

[foone]

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

[batbetbitbotbut]

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

[batbetbitbotbut]

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

[dawnandpiplup]

“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all

[lemonsweet]

Well boy ain't I the golden mole

[sophsun1]

The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols