Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

[byjove]

It would be kind of fun to have a medical dramamedy show where people (patients and people in the medical field) could submit their craziest experiences with the medical system and those plotlines and patient stories could be dramatized and woven into a cohesive narrative with any additional profits from the show going to pay off medical debt.

[byjove]

Plotline A: Patient is suffering from a near fatal case of hypothermia after passing out in the snow drunk and laying there all night until his 13 year old nephew discovered him in the morning, said 13 year old managed to transport his druncle to the hospital on a snowmobile but the rest of the family cannot make it there due to road conditions.

Plotline B: A live rat fell through the ceiling halfway through an emergency appendectomy, causing the surgeon to startle and rupture the patient’s appendix. Infectious disease is very interested in the situation due to the risk of zoonotic infection. The hospital’s legal department is also very interested in the situation.

[foxglovedforest]

Hey OP what happened to you

[byjove]

I’ve been chronically ill since the age of 14 and I enjoy eavesdropping

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[wizardarchetypes]

No more sleeping with my phone within reach because I was having an extremely vivid dream that I was the victim of some sort of mass-poisoning. the notorious poisoner? "The Centipede Cult." They used a specific type of poison, referred to only by its chemical nomenclature, which I somehow remembered perfectly upon waking. It went: □□ Na({}^{2})

Because that makes sense. Anyway, this poison would submit me to its well-known and much-feared symptom: "17 Day Paralysis" in which you're paralyzed for exactly 17 days and you only chance of survival is to be on full machine support for 17 days.

Just before the medical team intubated me I remembered I have a Zoom meeting with my academic advisor today (I actually do in real life) and I needed to email him to let him know I was the victim of a mass-poisoning and would need to reschedule.

I kept trying to type the "□" symbol in my dream but could not figure out how and gave up.

I woke up in real life to find I'd begun drafting an email in my sleep to my professor in the Gmail app. I was apparently using talk-to-text (I often do because of my hand neuropathy) but speaking in Irish, which talk-to-text never understands, so other than the words in English "poison" and "centipede" the entire email was complete nonsense.

[wizardarchetypes]

I told my advisor about this and he said, "well, if you had been poisoned, I would have provided you whatever academic supports available to us."

[pmamtraveller]

Feelings about AI generated art by Veronika Kozlova

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[frownyalfred]

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

[welshronin]

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

[dragonpuppies]

Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”

[frownyalfred]

@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this

[qwertyu858]

[trader-j0e]

[a-boy-too-weird]

Bruce: I have a code.

Alfred: And I have a gun.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Bruce: time to remove the guns.

Alfred: good fucking luck.

[frankenmouse]

I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

traditional chinese firework huohu火壶 by 江寻千

[gnars-house]

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

The last thing you ordered online is now your weapon during an apocalypse, are you doomed?

yes

no

*sobs*

it's great!

results

Voting ended onJun 12, 2025

[beardedmrbean]

She's got the right attitude here

[blumineck]

Frying pans! Who knew, right?

Sometimes I have videos planned out in advance, sometimes I’m throwing out an old pan and can’t resist!

(There actually isn’t much pan content on my Patreon, but here’s the link anyway!)

[aniseandspearmint]

You need to do this with a cast iron frying pan, not a weak little nonstick aluminum or stainless steel one dude.

[syekick-powers]

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

[thelooniemoonie]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[thelooniemoonie]

nice try but that doesn't work on me. appreciate the attempt tho <3

[lynati]

It's whether or not it will work on everyone else, really.

[shortace]

I feel like politicians' insults about each other have really gone down hill. These days it's all "moron" and "loser", so childish. Think what you will of Paul Keating, but he gave us such gems as "he's a shiver waiting for a spine", "debating him is like being flogged with warm lettuce", "he's like a lizard on a rock: alive but looking dead", "he's all tip and no iceberg".

Where's the creativity these days?!

[silly-little-diary]

Some of my favourite Paul Keating insults for your enjoyment:

You boxhead, you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten

I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness

He's wound up like a thousand-day clock! One half more turn and there'll be springs and sprockets all over the building. Mr Speaker, give him a valium

Oh, look, it's just Howard being Howard, isn't it, you know? The little desiccated coconut's under pressure and he's attacking anything he can get his hands on

The Opposition could not manage a tart shop

For John Howard to get to any high moral ground he would have to first climb out of the volcanic hole he's dug for himself over the last decade

And my personal favourite:

If there was a university degree for greed, you cunts would all get first-class honours

[j0jin-deactivated20210309]

Scotland is not boring

[redpinejo]

When I say I love bagpipes, this is what I mean

[mahigxn-deactivated20200629]

Absolute banger

[rinhkitty]

WHERE’S THE SOURCE, OP??????

[thesummoningdark]

This is Clanadonia

What the video doesn’t quite capture is that when you’re this close, their drumming feels kind of like being punched in the chest. When they’re playing on the street like this, every other busker in a 500m radius just goes and has a tea break, because there’s no point in trying to be heard over Clanadonia.

[thebibliosphere]

Ah, good old Buchanan Street memories.

They used to stand outside my old work and play all the time. They likely still do but I’m 4000 mile away now I can’t say for sure. Used to drive our manager bonkers cause you’d be able to feel it pusling through the Victorian brick walls like a heartbeat. One time they got into a jamming session with a guy playing the didgeridoo and I’m pretty certain my soul vibrated out of my body for a bit.

[the--amber--weave]

10/10 sounds like a good time tbh

[enriquemzn262]

[transgenderer]

what the fuck

[argumate]

sweet, might base an agricultural civilisation on this river, hope it behaves itself

[theaudientvoid]

[argumate]

might just fuck around and find out

[andmaybegayer]

Diversity win! This river has ADHD

[crazy-pages]

Nile: You would not believe how long term you have to mismanage agriculture on my banks to start experiencing soil depletion. I will always be here for you Egypt.

Huang He: *kicks in the door* FUCK YOUR DYNASTY IT'S FAMINE TIME!!!

[theprofessional-amateur]

I took two semesters of Chinese history in college. The first thing the professor started with was “getting to know the rivers, Yangtze and the Yellow Rivers. You need to know them because they will play very important roles in the history of China. The Yangtze has been crucial to trade, movement, culture and more. The Yellow river, the Yellow River can’t be trusted as you will repeatedly see.”

[theprofessional-amateur]

If you got stuck on a question during a test or whatever you could start with “the Yellow river jumped the banks causing instability and chaos that quickly spread” and would be correct more times than you would be incorrect.

[im-adrienne-deactivated20260216]

I love geographical chats when it completely devolves into dragging a landform.

[kittiesarecuter]

[mousegirlheart]