[lostinthelegs]

A toast to the good times to come

[escuerzoresucitado]

[homunculus-argument]

Dumbass RPG character idea:

A roguishly handsome adventurer who otherwise doesn't seem to much care for maintaining his rugged good looks, but is comically particular of his iconic ridiculous hat, which he never takes off. Like, ever. He sleeps with the hat tilted over his eyes, won't remove it indoors even at a dining table, bathes while wearing it. Nobody wants to know how the hell he washes his hair. Telling him to remove the hat is an absolute dealbreaker - if any place demands that he removes the hat before stepping inside, he'll rather wait outside by the door while the rest of the party does their business inside. It's obnoxious but what are you gonna do.

Then, when trapped in a situation where the party must either sacrifice one of its members or all will die, the guy volunteers, on one condition: the party must take his precious hat, and give it to someone worthy. Ideally someone spectacularly handsome who will look good in it, but he'd rather have anyone at all wear it, than nobody at all. Nobody in the party, though - none of them are allowed to wear his hat. Baffled but grateful, the party agrees to his conditions.

Some time later, once the rest of the party has escaped, they slap the hat on the first person they encounter and deem sufficiently fitting. The person freezes in shock, blinks twice, and suddenly shifts their stance to a familiar posture, sighing "oh thank the gods, you actually fucking did it", in a new voice but a familiar style and intonation. The character was never The Guy, it's a demon bound to the hat, who possesses whoever is wearing the garment.

[segamascot]

[snorazz]

[theatricuddles]

[ID: The first is an image of Canada and Mexico with the United States edited out that reads "Oh thank god it was just a dream". The second image is an image of North America with all lands labelled with the names of the tribes living on them that reads "Oh thank god it was just a dream".]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

here is a REALLY detailed hq map of indigenous american nations if you're interested (you are.)

and alaska. and hawai'i.

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

looks like we all talked enough shit that staff put The Community Guidelines Violating Maps™ back

[lichrelly]

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

[bill-nye-official-blog]

why are lemons separate from food op?

[sporkkles-irl]

everyone knows lemons arent food

[2boldlyqueer]

lemon stealing whores are a huge issue separate from food stealing whores. there’s a whole documentary about whores stealing lemons from the trees of unsuspecting victims. you can see the first two minutes of it here.

[bad-puns-n-finger-guns]

Thats a rickroll. That totally is a fucking rickroll. No fukin way. Not falling for it.

[lichrelly]

dude, trust me, that isn’t a rick roll. its something worse

[bad-puns-n-finger-guns]

Me to the rest of tumblr after actually watching what was in the link:

[incessant-honking]

…I really don’t know what I was expecting.

[danna-sama]

What the fuck did i just watch.

[askasexual]

It- it’s not a Rick roll

[theprinceofsnark]

Have we really reached a time when the Lemon Stealing Whores are no longer common knowledge.

[hiddlydiddly]

[archibaldtuttle]

Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

[archibaldtuttle]

Hi this currently has 37 thousand notes and I just want to ask - why?

[desperate-acts-of-capitalism]

Big Things Are Coming

[blackteachangeling]

💷🥄🥔 BIG THINGS ARE COMING🥔🥄💷

✨ Abundance Spell✨ 

Wealth, weal, and plentiful spoons are coming to me 👏

✨💰🪙🥄🥔💰🌟💰🥄🥔🪙 💰✨

Like to charge Reblog to cast

[homunculus-argument]

Random worldbuilding for nothing in particular: Dwarvish last names.

When dwarvish workers and artisans first came to human cities for work, humans soon noticed that all dwarves seem to have last names ending in the same suffix. Soon enough they put together that these names don't go by families, but by occupation. Blacksmith is a blacksmith, Goldsmith is a goldsmith, a mason is called Stonesmith and carpenter a Woodsmith. And a horse breeder is called a Horsesmith.

(While humans would classify dwarf horses as ponies, dwarvish languages have no separate words for "horse" and "pony" and insist that dwarf horses are called horses since the way humans say "pony" seems degoratory.)

The word that humans previously assumed meant "smith" is simply the dwarvish blanket term for "one who works with their hands to manufacture/maintain." Humans originally started referring to any random dwarf they don't know with simply the suffix in a dismissive "they all have the same names anyway" sort of way, but in dwarfish society addressing someone you don't know in this way, "hey you, Craftsman" is considered perfectly respectable.

Once more dwarf society began to pour into human lands, humans noticed two other types of last names: -Trader, and -Commander. Traders are sellers, peddlers, merchants of all sorts, and while first encountering Silktraders, Goldtraders and Spicetraders might lead one to think that they are a class above -Smiths, they are not. Any street hawker, peddler or common grocer is just as much a -Trader as a merchant of kings is.

There are dwarfish jokes about how a farmer who grows vegetables and then goes to the town to sell them is a Turnip-smith at home but a Turnip-trader in the city, but getting the suffixes mixed up is a serious offense. Calling a dwarvish doctor a "seller of healing" instead of a "crafter of healing" would imply that they do their occupation for financial profit instead of a sacred calling, and is a stab-worthy insult. And they won't stitch you up afterwards.

The -Commander class is as one would expect, for leaders and commanders. The chief of a village or head of a clan is often known as "[clan name] commander", but more often it is the title for military officers and government officials. A centurion is called Hundred-Commander, a higher officer is a Thousand-Commander. The master of a spy network is "Commander of Secrets" and the national chief accountant is "Commander of Coin".

While dwarf societies are technically speaking autocracies with a single leader, humans have yet to reach an agreement about how to translate the leader's title. Most settle for "chief", as king/queen/emperor/empress would require knowing the current ruler's gender, and dwarves consider such information a matter of extreme privacy. The official dwarvish title of the ruler is "folksmith", "one who works with their hands to make/maintain a people".

[homunculus-argument]

Random worldbuilding idea: a culture where everyone is a goth, but for perfectly sensible environmental ressons.

Wearing mainly/almost exclusively black clothing because either the dye protects them/the fabric from something in the environment, black clothes are the most convenient ones to maintain, or then a century ago black dye was extremely difficult and/or expensive to produce and only the wealthiest of society could afford it, but now a cheaper dye method has been invented and after a huge trend of Now Everybody Can Wear Black, it just stuck and nobody even remembers why all clothes are dyed black. It's just tradition.

Everyone wears demonia-style platform shoes because the climate is wet and cold, and for most of the year the ground is either muddy or covered in icy slush, so knee-high tall boots are simply the most pragmatic way to keep the rest of your clothes reasonably dry and clean.

Silver and leather jewellery is widespread because the land is rich in metal ore - while the rich can afford to buy/commission delicate silver threads, even the peasants can afford some sort of rough iron chains and studs on their wristbands. Studded leather is more sensible than having metal rings touching skin directly, due to the cold weather. Studs and chains also double as armour and weapons which technically speaking don't count as such, allowing people to circumvent any "can't openly carry weapons during peace time"-laws. Law enforcement could not confiscate someone's bling without causing public riots.

Everyone is about as pale as their natural complexion allows since the climate is cold and dark and the sun does not rise much during the winter. Cold dark winters are also the reason why the culture is so morbid in general - in the heart of the darkest months there's fuck all else to do than write poetry about the moon's silver light and the howls of wolves and the beauty of death, while polishing your iron chains until they shine like silver.

Domesticated ravens are more covenient for messenger birds than doves are, as they're hardier and can manage the climate better. Even if more modern messaging technology has been invented, people prefer sending letters by bird because it's more romantic and poetic. Sending someone a raven message poem about how you'd like to be buried in the same grave together one day is a very standard way of flirting.

[dykepuffs]

The flat white makeup with dark eyes and lips is another relic of the time before electricity, where in the long polar night you'd often have to squint and strain your eyes to see your comrades in the lamplit streets (and even more so on the long trek home across the bare moors!) so painting your face bright white with reflective chalk- or lead-based pigment was seen as prosocial and neighbourly. Since this tended to flatten people's features, it became fashionable to darken the eyes, brows and lips to artificially highlight the shape of the face, to make recognising each other and reading expressions easier.

[homunculus-argument]

Circling your eyes with black also helps against snow blindness, and a mixture of chalk and grease spread on the skin can give some basic rudimentary protection against the elements. But the aesthetics are also important.

Having a distinct personal style of makeup is a natural social expectation, as one must paint their face to be recognised, and not confused for someone else. More refined makeup styles that involve things like blending eyeshadows, painting elaborate eyeliner ornaments to the corner of one's eye, and even contouring are modern styles. Messy black splotches around your eyes that cover the entire area of one's eyesockets, with a few tear-like rivulets running down their cheeks, is the more old-fashioned, traditional style preferred by everyone's grandma.

Some daring young individuals even incorporate colours in their face paints, which some old folks consider a moral outrage, but others will agree that bright red eyeshadow with corpse blue lips and no eyebrows is a sick as fuck look, and it still works well to serve the original purpose of makeup.

[novlr]

The symbolism of flowers

Flowers have a long history of symbolism that you can incorporate into your writing to give subtext.

Symbolism varies between cultures and customs, and these particular examples come from Victorian Era Britain. You'll find examples of this symbolism in many well-known novels of the era!

Amaryllis: Pride

Black-eyed Susan: Justice

Bluebell: Humility

Calla Lily: Beauty

Pink Camellia: Longing

Carnations: Female love

Yellow Carnation: Rejection

Clematis: Mental beauty

Columbine: Foolishness

Cyclamen: Resignation

Daffodil: Unrivalled love

Daisy: Innocence, loyalty

Forget-me-not: True love

Gardenia: Secret love

Geranium: Folly, stupidity

Gladiolus: Integrity, strength

Hibiscus: Delicate beauty

Honeysuckle: Bonds of love

Blue Hyacinth: Constancy

Hydrangea: Frigid, heartless

Iris: Faith, trust, wisdom

White Jasmine: Amiability

Lavender: Distrust

Lilac: Joy of youth

White Lily: Purity

Orange Lily: Hatred

Tiger Lily: Wealth, pride

Lily-of-the-valley: Sweetness, humility

Lotus: Enlightenment, rebirth

Magnolia: Nobility

Marigold: Grief, jealousy

Morning Glory: Affection

Nasturtium: Patriotism, conquest

Pansy: Thoughtfulness

Peony: Bashfulness, shame

Poppy: Consolation

Red Rose: Love

Yellow Rose: Jealously, infidelity

Snapdragon: Deception, grace

Sunflower: Adoration

Sweet Willian: Gallantry

Red Tulip: Passion

Violet: Watchfulness, modesty

Yarrow: Everlasting love

Zinnia: Absent, affection

[your-average-bibliophile]

Always loved flower language

[lesbianshepard]

phrasing of this is taking me out

[voregeoisie]

[katelyn-danger]

Harder to crucify a being with eight legs

[biscoff-und-taxis]

#spider Jesus died on the asterisk for our sins

you can’t just leave this in the tags

[beowulfstits-archive-deactivate]

I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired

i aspire to great things in life

[therothwoman]

According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.

[leda74]

So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.

[nightmigrations]

actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do

[slaughtermetals]

there’s so much beauty in the world.

[the-punforgiven]

Y'know, I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen Jack Chains more in fantasy tbh, like it's a really interesting and low budget armor style, I'm legit surprised I've almost never seen it in media

[the-punforgiven]

Couple examples I pulled from google images

[the-punforgiven]

Actually kind of! It's built with a very interesting principle behind it and I'm gonna explain it below because it's neat

So, say you've got a sword or axe or something and are fighting some guy who can't afford a full suit of armor, and like someone who thinks it's a good idea to protect their brain from harm, they go into battle with a real good helmet, but don't have enough money for a full breastplate

So, obviously, this guy's helmet is solid, well-built, and strong. You're absolutely not getting through that with anything short of a mace or warhammer, which you forgot at home or something. So, you want to instead throw some cuts at their torso and arms, since if you can't get at their brain or throat, the entire torso is a pretty good target, and without arms your opponent will have a much harder time both hitting you with their weapons and shielding that torso of theirs

So you start throwing cuts, probably like so, since these are usually the most common, instinctive, and usually efficient cuts to throw (or a rough MS Paint approximation of them lol)

Normally, on someone unarmored, those'd do a lot of damage! You'd probably even win the fight!

However, with even something as small as these weird little guys on, it just sort of...

Obviously these things are like, clearly less effective than most styles of armor, doing little to protect against things like thrusts or trebuchets, but even with as minimal as they are, the humble Jack Chains are bizarrely more effective than one would think just by looking at them!

They work because they close off the most common angles of attack, essentially trying to get the maximum value out of minimum materials. Despite their rarity in media they were pretty common, mostly because of their low cost, but also because they did their jobs surprisingly adequately

In a weird way, it kind of reminds me about that one post about army planes, actually

You know the one I mean

[gardenvarietyhuman]

💥🙌👏

[ineffablebookgirl]

Well shit, Henry Jenkins, out here in 1997 dropping truth bombs

[addressmysol]

Oh hey I need this for a research paper I'm writing, thank you!

[angstbotfic]

i mean he had been out here since 1988 dropping such bombs:

"'fandom' is a vehicle of marginalized subcultural groups (women, the young, gays, etc.) to pry open space for their cultural concerns within dominant representations; it is a way of appropriating media texts and rereading them in a way that serves different interests, a way of transforming mass culture into a popular culture"

Jenkins, Henry. “Star Trek Rerun, Reread, Rewritten: Fan Writing as Textual Poaching.” Critical Studies in Mass Communication 5, no. 2 (1988): 85–107. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295038809366691.  

there are even some earlier works in fan studies but that’s what i have ready to hand. 

[neil-gaiman]

Henry's been amazing for a long time.

[depsidase]

[youremysunshine8]

Ok I love this???

"baptise me in hot dog water"

Hot dog water - there's a Tumblr post out there I've seen saying hot dog water is the opposite of holy water, due to the fact that a single drop of it will contaminate what it touches. I assume this was partly inspired by this allusion but who knows for sure.

Also the the idea of holy water as inhuman and cleaning vs hot dog water as the remains of feeding someone - often a child - and entirely human. It may be dirty and I do not want it on me but God hot dog water has some memories. You will not wash away my sins. They're mine. Also, anyone can make hot dog water but holy water is refined, restricted (yes anyone can make it in an emergency but lay people are restricted from it)

"you and I both know"

Unlike baptism for babies, this one is done between two people who are both aware of what is happening. The one receiving the baptism gives the orders about what they want to happen. The giver and receiver are portrayed as equals. They are equally aware of their humanity.

"the holy stuff won't take"

Ooof heartbreaking, amazing line. Raises so many questions. What does it mean when the water "takes"? What has the receiver done that makes them unfit for holy water? Or, what has the holy water done that makes it to weak to help, to be a part of your life?

The poem as a whole - I love the lack of capitalization. It adds a sort of intimacy to the poem, and the statement from the speaker. The high words "baptise" and "holy" being offset by "take" and "hot dog". Also "hot dog water" vs "holy stuff." The cadence! I would lick it.

[the-real-seebs]

I love the serious analysis, and I think I find it persuasive.

This also sheds a lot of light on some plot points in Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated.

[zwoelffarben]

Not to turn this into another house full of chintz, but I'mma fuck this poem on the floor.

Meter

There are two readings of the poem's meter that I immediately identify, the first is how I'd want to read it, and the second is how a normal person would probably read it, but both make the same point.

In my interpretation (left), the first line is four wholely irregular feet: an iamb into a dibrach into two trochees; The second line is two trouches into a hanging stressed syllable; And the third line is three iambs.

In the more normal interpretation(right), the first line and second line are six trochees all together plus that hanging syllable in 'knowing' which transitions the poem to iambic trimeter.

And look at the interesting result of that laid bare:

In English poetry there's a tradition, all other things being equal, that iambs are considered the sophisticated foot with trochees often being contrasted as the vulgar or common foot.

The vulgar in specificity "hot dog water" is put in trochee, while the respectably vague "the holy stuff" is afforded iambs. Without the poet having thought of the stress things the pattern actively, this incapulation of the English poetic tradition is astounding. Especially when you consider the

Chiasmus

Chiasmus is a figure of rhetorical construction, in which two pairs of ideas are laid across each other, A B B A. It's one of the more popular figures of rhetoric and if you're looking for it you'll see it everywhere.

In the most literal sense, it's about repetition; but, you can apply it more liberally to ideas, thoughts, or in this case, parts of speech:

The nouns and verb pairs in the first and third lines crossover each other. They are in chiasmus. Structurally, the inversion makes the poem feel more solid, while still furthering emphasizing the contrast between the idea of hot dog water and the holy stuff.

Opening with a command and closing with a result.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[eldritchscholar]

#kind of a milf reblog

[starscreamhecatoncheries]

I won't apologize

[rogueinkglitch]

How the hell could I possibly explain this post to somebody not on tumblr

[pukicho]

Puki will you leave tumblr because everyone’s acting like it’s dead now :(

oh yeah its SO dead.

1000 notes this post. Now

[pukicho]

that took 3 minutes.

[pasta-yy]

i literally fucking blinked and this shit happened istg y’all are insane—

[pukicho]

Fuck it. Spread this post to every nook and cranny on tumblr. Prove to everyone that this site is ALIVE and FLOURISHING and that it will last for fucking DECADES

[creativepromptsforwriting]

seeking out physical affection

comparing hand-sizes to hold their hand against the other's and then just holding hands

leaning against the other one in close spaces

acting like they're cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets

brushing a strand of hair away

grabbing each other's hands in crowds or when crossing the street to "be safe"

turning their cheek to get the other one to give them a peck

brushing their arm against the other's, hoping the other would finally catch their arm and hold it close

fixing the other's hairstyle to let their hands run through their partner's hair

draping the arm around their shoulder while sitting next to each other

lightly tickling the other one, almost hoping it gets retaliated

reaching out with their hand without saying anything, wanting the other one to grab it

linking arms when walking around together

trying to get the other to dance with them

bumping shoulders into each other

wrapping arms around the other's neck when standing behind them