SMAPに夢中

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”

and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”

”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”

”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”

[thantos1991]

The human in the room looks up and goes "Wait I have stripes?"

[cosmicbumfights]

"what do you mean cats can see them, but I can't?"

[messiambrandybuck]

what do you fucking mean cats can see them

[beenovel]

I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS

MY CAT THINKS I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!?

[messiambrandybuck]

NO NO ITS NOT "IT THINKS I HAVE THEM"

BECAUSE WE DO APPARENTLY

SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED "MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!"

AND I THINK THATS A BIT WORSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST

[beenovel]

MY CAT KNEW I HAD STRIPES BEFORE I DID?!?!?!?!?!?

[messiambrandybuck]

I DIDNT THINK OF THAT

[beenovel]

WELL I DID AND NOW I CANT UNTHINK IT

[blueberryrock]

@beenovel @messiambrandybuck these are the variants

[beenovel]

WHAT

[messiambrandybuck]

apparently there's a disease where they become visable, and these are the most common kind??

Ngl it looks cool but???? I'm still in shock tbh

[hachama]

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PATTERN OF STRIPES I HAVE AND THE CATS WON'T TELL ME

[yupokaysuremhm]

I COULD HAVE A CHECKERBOARD ON MY BACK AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW???

[sinestrocas]

[dayzeart]

[fleurdemeth]

Portrait of a Young Woman, Jean-Etienne Liotard 

Girl with a Pearl Earring, Johannes Vermeer 

[heartfeltdelight]

#they look like theyve been having a chat about u and u just walked in

[antimony-ore]

I’m on mobile, somebody edit them into this please

[antimony-ore]

Y'all take too long

[tyrelll28-deactivated20201029]

Same energy

[antimony-ore]

No worries guys, they’re there too

[spicymemesociety]

[memewhore]

[unpretty]

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

[guyalice]

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

[froginakettle]

[hotcocoachia]

I fucking love him

[jaynavajasso]

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

[iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat]

He also jabs racists in the eye!

[tumblunni]

I love the justice grandpa of fists

[cursedcharley]

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

[biglawbear]

I have a new role model

[briarchubnj]

😍

[runcibility]

“justice grandpa of fists”

[arquus-malvaceae-deactivated202]

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

[charismat1c-megafauna]

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

[bogleech]

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

[tramampoline]

we need him more than ever…

[sarabeth72]

Grandpa Fuck Around & Find Out. Love him.

[bigcatawareness]

i don't really understand why you would be pro-zoo. like i understand nature reserves and sanctuaries where people can observe from afar, but it doesn't seem right to me when they're locked up in generally small confined areas for people to watch them do nothing all day. idk maybe i'm getting this wrong, and i still really respect you, i just don't understand this. like i interned at a zoo and felt uncomfortable with how small their living areas were and how they had no stimulation

Zoos don’t look like this anymore.

They look like this:

Good zoos do not keep their animals in “tiny spaces” with no enrichment.  I’m not pro-roadside zoo.  I’m pro-accredited zoo.  Zoos are incredibly important for conservation and education.

Are Zoos Necessary?

The Importance of Zoos: Resource Post

Why Zoos and Aquariums Matter: Assessing the Impact of a Visit to a Zoo or Aquarium

Why I Want to be a Keeper

Why I Believe in Zoos

[useless-zoofacts]

There should be way more pictures of modern zoos so i just add some more

[merp-a-derp69-deactivated201808]

Seriously zoos do so much important conservation work as well I hate when people shit all over zoos as if the animals are locked up and not looked after

[nyxetoile]

The SF Zoo has two sea lions. Now, if you know SF, you know that sea lions are a Thing. They’re all over Pier 39 and various other beaches in N California. In fact, the zoo is near the ocean, so there are sea lions not 200 yards from the zoo entrance. So having sea lions in the zoo seems sort of superfluous.

Except the sea lions are blind. One was found as an adult after suffering a gun shot wound to the face that destroyed his eyes. The other was found as an adolescent, weak and starving because it had been blinded and unable to hunt. So they were rescued and introduced and the zoo built them a nice pool where they can swim and sunbathe and people toss them fish. It’s not the biggest exhibit, or the fanciest. But it’s a home for them, where they’re safe and well fed. Sea lions aren’t the most romantic of animals, but they’re a part of SF culture and a lot of us have a soft spot for the loud, bulbous things. And because of zoos, these two get to live long, happy lives.

Whenever anyone complains about zoos, I think about Silent Knight and Henry. 

[zoogeek327]

I think it’s St. Louis zoo that is saving big cats in Africa. Scientists couldn’t figure out what was killing off the local lion population. They were dying off from Canine Distemper. The local unvaccinated dogs of the towns would spread the disease to other animals or have it themselves. When the lions ate the infected animals they would catch it as well. You know what that Zoo is doing to stop this disease? They are going over to those towns and vaccinating the dogs for free. The community loves it and people from other villages comes for miles to get their dogs vaccinated as well.

They also do work with camel populations because the local human population use the camels for food sources the zoos help monitor the camels health.

Another zoo, I want to say it’s the Oregon zoo but don’t quote me on that, is helping female inmates. The zoo works with the female prisons by encouraging the inmates to assist in the breeding and raising of endangered species of butterflies. They plant the specific plants that the butterflies and catapillars need, raise them, and release them. These inmates get noted in any scientific journals that get published. They are giving these inmates a sense of accomplishment and validation.

Zoos not only save species but bring together and assist communities in an effort to save the environment. Zoos, good zoos, are essential to the future and I will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise.

PS you don’t see PETA doing any of this.

[oscarwetnwilde]

One of the local zoos in my area at one point rescued a bald eagle that had been shot and kept it in the zoo to let it recuperate until they freed it again. Some of the zoos in my state will keep injured animals there until they heal again.

[elenilote]

Helsinki Zoo is the world leader in snow leopard and Amur leopard conservation, in their care these endangered species have managed to breed more than anywhere else in captivity and this in turn has enabled the re-introduction of these animals back to their native habitats. https://www.korkeasaari.fi/helsinki-zoo/

[thekgalaxy]

I work at a zoo that is instrumental in the California Condor recovery program (among dozens of other conservation projects). We went from 42 surviving individuals left to over 400, over 200 of whom are in the wild. We’re part of the amur leopard species survival plan with two young animals who are eagerly attempting to make babies. We host one of North America’s only bachelor troops of western lowland gorillas, preserving the social structure of wild gorillas. All of our bald eagles are rescues who would not survive in the wild. All our keepers participate in field research and conservation work in addition to a full time team of conservationists. We host the most genetically valuable male Masai giraffe in North America, who has sired 5 offspring with 1 on the way, increasing the genetic diversity of his entire species. If you’re against zoos, you don’t know what zoos do.

[nazrigar]

Super, SUPER important thread.

[vet-and-wild]

Also zoos tend to do a lot of breeding and conservation work with smaller, less charismatic species like invertebrates and amphibians. Those species are extremely important in the ecosystem but don’t get the same notoriety as the charismatic megafauna.

[liquidstar]

fullmetal alchemist was nuts because “theres a crazy murderer who was executed for his crimes and then had his soul implanted in a suit of armor as part of a twisted government experiment” is a D-plot at best

[liquidstar]

correction: this was actually three characters i just forgot about the other two because they had a more minor role and they were two mass murderers in a trench coat pretending to be one mass murderer

[foulserpent]

literally love when rich people die horribly like crashing in private jets or smth.... boating accidents. mauled by exotic pets, murdered by other rich people , etc .. #girl

[foulserpent]

literally once you pass a certain wealth bracket your death is automatically funny and i dont mean ‘uwu the REAL class enemies like bezos and other billionaires’ i do in fact mean your more typical millionaire private jet and yacht owners like i hope your lakefront mcmansion explodes

[3liza]

the reason tumblr is the best social network is because you can still just say shit like this out loud

[red-mercer]

I got suspended from twitter for telling a fascist to suck my balls

[3liza]

i got banned from twitter once for telling my actual irl friend i was going to "kill them" for making a bad pun. i wasnt unbanned until a different friend joined a random discord for comics one day and there was a twitter employee in there boasting that they could unban anyone. so my friend was like "hey unban 3liza" and they did. so thats how twitter is going

[abigbagofkeys]

Tell them to unban me

[3liza]

i spent weeks trying to figure out who unbanned me but they were truly just like

[3liza]

cant let these get lost in the notes

[catasters]

[sandersstudies]

Completely unironically this is one of my new favorite pieces of literature

[heda-organa]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[boopednose]

How is this person still alive

[best-blurst-of-times]

[ironbite4]

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

[thedarkbutbeige]

[spaceshipoftheseus]

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

[randomslasher]

[mayfriend-archive]

#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

[mayfriend-archive]

[pajamasecrets]

PLEASE JUST SHOW ME THE CASSEROLE RECIPE

[melrows]

For a split second my dumbass thought the Fukushima nuclear accident had fried the rice

[jayiray]

[typhlonectes]

[cipheramnesia]

shared bad social skills can be a love language

[a-christmas-fruitcake]

Rachmaninoff was also 6'6 so please imagine a tall, imposing figure looming in front of your house holding a big jar of honey in the dead of night

[thebootydiaries]

me about to talk in public: *rehearses what im going to say 50 times in my brain*

me: today how you are

[la-venere]

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

[la-venere]

THIS ONE

[phthalooo]

i can see it