RMH
Three Goblin Art
Xuebing Du
styofa doing anything
Sade Olutola

JBB: An Artblog!

oozey mess
Today's Document
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
No title available

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One Nice Bug Per Day

Kiana Khansmith
Stranger Things

Origami Around
AnasAbdin

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@historieman
Him getting smaller and smaller as he walks up to the truck is some real Peter Jackson The Lord of the Rings forced perspective movie magic
Yeah that also makes me feel a lot better
i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman
you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.
She is feeling Fresh and Fabulous.
SHE SURE IS because she is literally finishing up a shed there, look, you can see the last of it clinging to her tail
but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor
the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered
I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours
“oh my GOD T’sissra your scales are SO VIBRANT this picture is going to be AMAZING”
Extra bonus points because she used that skin as part of her backdrop. Its like a banner behind her head.
‘Out with the old, in with the glam!’
I read “finishing up a shed” and for a few microseconds I was like “sexy AND an accomplished carpenter”
"impenetrably armored" knights when you pull out the pot of boiling oil
remember when websites were written on purpose, and not generated by autocomplete in the instant you run the web search? anyway, unrelated, this webpage purporting to relay expert knowledge on which plants are safe for my snake's tank just told me I would know if he was biting them and getting irritated because he would start pawing at his mouth.
i mean, that sure would be a sign something was wrong
the plant that makes you grow extra legs
northernlion was reading out a sweet note his daughter wrote him in kindergarten that said "i know my dad loves me because he's my favorite person and i'm his favorite person" and someone commented "circular reasoning"
i used to tell myself ‘maybe they’re going through something’ but then i realized that i was too and i never treated anyone that way.
bitches be sucking farts there
Found the source of the infographic that explains how the results were obtained!
there’s sixteen Colorado counties that their most searched was “wolf furry”, plus thirty-odd counties (not counting either Arapahoe or any of the ones marked here as “Insufficient Data”) which may well have had plenty of searches for “wolf furry”, just fewer than for whatever they’re labeled here
and “skunk furry” searches in Arapahoe County outnumbered “wolf furry” searches in the entire state of Colorado
something tells me Skunks Georg
we did it, we created furry gerrymandering
all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.
god forbid you teach kids that their consent should be respected rather than about the inherent immorality of all the sinful actions of their peers
I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself
You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.
I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.
Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.
holy shit this person in the notes
[id: a tweet by afraidofwasps that reads, "(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs" end id]
I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
tinder link in bio.
the replies:
*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?
I’m sobbing
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
her pussy
OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.
get back here and share that with the class
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
oh shit
As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.
At time of posting, this is at 711.6k notes
29 Days Remain
Only 12 days left.
It’s Saturday, May 30, 3:18 PM EDT
The note count as of 3:12 PM EDT was 742.4K.
We’re almost 258,000 notes short of the Committment To The Bit Tumblr Curse goal, or what I am choosing to call:
The Bear Nessiecity
You know what to do.