Currently Vacant

[incognitopolls]

Would you answer a phone call from someone you know during solo masturbation?

Yes, I would answer, and I would keep masturbating no matter who it was

Yes, I would answer, and I might keep going depending on who it was

Yes, I would answer, and I might keep going if the person consented/was in on it

I would stop masturbating and answer the call, no matter who it was

I might answer depending on who it was

No, I would ignore the call and keep masturbating

No, I wouldn't answer but the call would ruin the mood and I'd stop

I don't solo masturbate/I always do it with a partner

I don't masturbate at all

Other/show results

Voting ended onMay 1, 2024

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[lucy8675309]

OK Tumblr Geriatric Ward, let’s talk about your posture-

there are things you should be doing now to prevent yourself from starting to look like 🥀

Why does it matter? Future you would like to avoid the pain, limited motion, and fall risk that goes along with worsening posture.

What’s the focus?

1. Keep the flexibility in your spine

2. Stretch the muscles in the front

3. Strengthen the muscle in the back

Here are some simple things you can do daily while sitting and when you get up to go into the bathroom or the kitchen

Keep the flexibility by doing these repeated movements: 10 repetitions several times a day

The goal is to give yourself a double or triple chin. Keep your nose pointing forward, don’t let it tip up or down

Thoracic extension- use a chair with a seat back that comes up to the level of your shoulder blades. Try to bend back over the top of the chair without arching away from the seat back and without extending your neck. If the pressure from the top of the chair is uncomfortable you can place a towel there

Stretch the muscles in the front by using a door frame. This one will feel good afterwards

If this isn’t enough of a stretch you can do one side at a time. If you have the right arm up step forward with the right foot and turn slightly to the left. Then do it on the other side.

Strengthen the muscles in the back by squeezing your shoulder blades together for a count of 10 and then repeating 10 times. You can do this several times a day Hint: Don’t lift your shoulder blades up

There are lots more exercises for strengthening your back muscles but this is a good starting point and easy to do. I like doing it while driving

Tips:

Do the best you can

If it hurts stop

Envision future you saying thank you each time you do one of the exercises

[brightlotusmoon]

NOTE: I can do most of these with the cerebral palsy. In fact, a lot of these little exercises are automatically part of my physical therapy. My problem is I already have hyperlordosis, spine arthritis, and cervicogenic headache. These have helped me at least try to have a posture.

[hyperfixation-related]

I can't choose what I ship and it's killing me.

Like, I like the idea of Louisiana x Florida. And I like the idea of California x New York.

But I ship Florida and California and I don't know how to not do that

[hyperfixation-related]

So, I think people mean like, I can't decide. No, I mean, I am unable to actively choose what I ship. I'm not indecisive, I am unable to decide.

[hyperfixation-related]

I can't choose what I ship and it's killing me.

Like, I like the idea of Louisiana x Florida. And I like the idea of California x New York.

But I ship Florida and California and I don't know how to not do that

[hyperfixation-related]

I'm trying to find a (fan) manga site

I broke my phone, which just had the tab open perpetually, and I can't find it on my new one.

I know some of the Mangas on there are Muteki Rhythm, Kokoro Control, and a bunch of other Haikyuu ones.

So, if you know the site, please help.

[sherlck-deactivated20140622]

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

[feathery-soul-deactivated201408]

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

[agnosticwitch]

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

[moontideempress]

[vimbia]

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

[jazmynedrakeford]

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

[youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion]

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

[caribe-bby]

Y'all suspect af😂

[dookiediamonds-deactivated20200]

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

[electricocelot]

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

[prismatic-bell]

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

[harmonysama-deactivated20190724]

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

[thewelterschallenge]

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

[bloodforbones]

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

[sweetgirlfriend]

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

[fluidityandgiggles]

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

[nintendhoe-switchblade-deactiva]

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

[emilyelizabethfowl]

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

[ferntastic-m]

I love learning.

[srazars-main-blog-deactivated20]

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

[ratherinterestingmilkshake]

ON MY DASH

[infinitebadashianqueen]

Also bury the body deeper than six feet, so it can’t be washed up or smelled by hounds. Yes, that may mean you dig a 12 foot deep grave. Guess what? Murder is work.

[the-suriel-deserved-better]

Murder is work kids.

[krystal-prisms]

Too much work

[gay-vibin-girl]

Creating new jobs in America one murder at a time

[3-spoons]

Also work fast and no witnesses

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

THIS HAS OVER A MILLION NOTES WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!!!!!

[xakumi]

Also if you are planning to flee the country, get that figured out way in advance. At least a year or two in advance. And make sure everyone knows you’re moving, so it’s less suspicious than to randomly leave without saying anything. Perhaps it’s studying abroad, a job opportunity, or even meeting up with a friend and/or romantic partner?

[thegreenpea]

If you buey the body vertically don’t forget to leave a few feet above the head and place some animal bones on it so when the blood hounds sniff they will find the animal bones and the police would likely rule it as a false positive. Also globally the solving rate for murder is 45% so don’t worry too much

[unfortunatelyevent]

am I gonna get in some fbi list for rebbloging this? possible

do I care enough to not reblog this? absolutely not

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

Don’t forget it’s just a missing person case if they can’t find the body.

[guiltiest-gear]

Hmm

[dooflizard]

Dances with plans

[holding-infinity-and-a-book]

Helpful tumblr. Real helpful.

[warning-coffeeisexplosive-deact]

Thank you Tumblr. Now I have ideas :)

[daughter-of-hades1218-deactivat]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

@yashee-but-jiba youre in the hellsite hall of fame

[jeffthehistorian]

I love this. If I may add, wear shoes too big/small for your feet so the footprints font give you away.

[deadboytryingtosurvive]

If you feed a human body to pigs you have to remove the teeth first. Pigs can’t digest human teeth so if suspected the teeth can be found. I would recomend grinding them into dust and releasing it into the wind on a windy day :)

[starscence]

Remember: The authorities will know if the murderer faked their accent/foot print/whatever, but as long as they don’t find your actual features you’ll be fine

[blue-checkmarks-go-here-deactiv]

No body no murder, hide it well folks.

[viva-1a-resistance]

if youre gonna bury the body, hide it somewhere temporary first. leave the police an anonymous tip that its buried somewhere else. after theyve searched and not found anything, bury the body there. the freshly dug soil wont be as suspicious and theyre not gonna look there because they already have

also if you pierce the lungs the body wont float

and if youre gonna do anything else, take out the teeth and burn the tongue, fingertips, etc. this will prevent identification by dna

<3

[ghost-spidey-deactivated2022031]

bury the body, if u left any, under endangered plant species. they can’t legally dig it up then.

[cool-way-to-die-deactivated2022]

also, after burying a body, bury a dead animal horizontally on top of it.

[araccoonthatlikesmurder]

If you’re getting close to kill them, wear a cloak/bedsheet, gloves, anything to shield your body from getting any blood on it. Burn the things you used to shield said blood.

[winchesterwitch07]

For god’s sake, dissolve the body you guys. Why even risk burying it? Just get yourself some hydrochloric acid (or whatever, a super strong acid or base should work, be careful tho) and dissolve the body and dump it into a nice horrifyingly polluted drain

[hohohoe-panda-deactivated202403]

Everyone on this site is either a mad writer or artist or a full fledged murderer

[whetstonefires]

Murder a stranger with no witnesses or cameras, walk away calmly, do nothing dramatic or abnormal in the effort to hide the evidence but dispose of any evidence there is by normal trash means over the course of a few days.

If you weren’t actually seen, you’re probably fine. Forensic investigation doesn’t actually work that well in real life for anything but confirming a solid suspicion.

[prince-less]

Same thing tbh /j

Based of this textpost made by @wearycow-art !!!

[hyperfixation-related]

He only thinks that bc Guilia has one

[hyperfixation-related]

Camilo: *gives Mirabel a pie*

Camilo: Here, Mirabel, I made this to cheer you up.

Mirabel: Aw... Is it apple?

Camilo: No, it's a pie!

[hyperfixation-related]

Luca, just turning human: AHHH! IVE GOT HUMAN LEGS!

*starts trying to run from his own legs*

Luca: AHHH! I CANT RUN AWAY FROM THEM!

Luca: Wait a minute, I cant run at all.

*falls*

[hyperfixation-related]

Mirabel, with a list of strange explanations for gender: Which one are you.

Isabel: I'm female with a side of fries

Luisa: TV static coming from the other room

Camilo: Lone goose perhaps

Bruno: Probably 3 raccoons in a trench coat trying to sneak into an R rated movie

Antonio: little frog on a little log

Augustin: Male, but why?

Felix: Screaming in the words.

Based off of this post

[encantobrainrotten]

[young triplets]

Pepa: SAY YOU’RE SORRY

Bruno, sobbing: I’m sorry

Pepa: AND WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR

Bruno: for saying you’re too agressive

[hyperfixation-related]

I am appalled at the lack of fanfiction around the idea of Marc or Nathaniel having a wet dream about the other and therefore sending them into a perpetual state of panic.

Could someone please write that?