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Let's be honest. Adoption isn't pretty, easy or fun. Except when it is.

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Adoption= Insanity? (Chapter 1: Only Try This if You're Crazy)

Adoption= Insanity? (Chapter 1: Only Try This if You’re Crazy)

**Four years ago to the week, this was my first post on Hypervigilant. Ah, memories…

Ever notice the words “adoption” and “insanity” have the same number of letters?

Coincidence? I think not.

It’s been almost three years since the Wednesday they arrived, dropped off by another foster parent. At the time, we didn’t know that a Social Worker was supposed to be present to “facilitate” the situation.…

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Residential Progress

Last fall, we admitted our son to a residential facility, expecting a 30- to 60-day stay. Just to get his head straight.

From then through early spring, his behavior spiraled so far out of control that he didn’t have an off-campus pass until mid-spring. He earned a 6-hour off-site pass…and promptly spiraled again. He didn’t even wait 24 hours. His next off-site was three months later.

In the last…

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Our Three Songs

Was looking through old posts; these are still some of my top picks for survival. Tough day? Listen up. I promise this trifecta will help.

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A Letter to My Son

My dearest boy,

This year has been one of the most difficult I’ve ever lived. Let’s speak with honesty: you created most of the mountains and valleys.

Some people say hindsight is 20/20 regarding past mistakes. This phrase means that when we look back at the past, we have a clear picture of the choices we made, as well as the ability to see how the present might be different if we’d made other…

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Reconciliation

Sometimes, while reading my Bible, I find a passage reworking itself in my head. No sacrilege, just applying it to my current situation. I know what it is to respect the Lord, and when I try to see through His eyes, I know He wants me to try to persuade others to follow His example, advocating for children and for reconciliation. God knows my intent is pure and I hope you can see this, too. When…

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I Want YOUR Quote in My Book.

I Want YOUR Quote in My Book.

Photo by Tekke

I’m writing a book (and have three publisher appointments this month).

Goals: 

a. present an accurate view of foster care

b. inspire people to step up and foster (or if they can’t foster, to support those who do)

I’d appreciate your input. Comment below to answer all or some of the questions (or write whatever you want). Be as detailed or as brief as you like. Alternately, send…

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Battle Gear

Related to: Put on Your Armor, Part 1 and Part 2 Several times, now, I’ve “diagnosed” our children in the face of therapists who disagree…only to have a psychological evaluation support my assertion six months (or more) later. This is not because I’m more intelligent or have higher qualifications.

I don’t point this out to brag.

There is a reason it happened:

NO ONE can be an expert on EVERYTHING.

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Put on Your Armor, Part 2

Put on Your Armor, Part 2

Continued from Put on Your Armor, Part 1

Preparation for helping our kids also applies to the spiritual side. If, during a professional baseball game, the umpire decided to forgo the mask and padding, we’d think he was crazy. If a policeman waded into a firefight without his bulletproof vest, we’d consider him nuts. And yes, if someone ran a marathon in stilettos, we’d be amazed at the reckless…

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Put on Your Armor, Part 1

Put on Your Armor, Part 1

Do you slip into stilettos to run a marathon?

Would you slather on sweet-smelling lotion before slogging through the Everglades?

Have you ever heard of Mt. Everest climbers leaving all the sub-zero gear at base camp?

A little closer to home:

Do you take Monopoly money to the market, leave your gas tank on empty before a road trip, or forget to feed your kids (or your animals…or yourself) for…

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Let's Ride Again

Let’s Ride Again

Photo Credit: Warren County CVB

Roller coasters are my favorite amusement park ride.

If you stay at the park late enough, people stop filling the queues for cars in the middle of the coasters. If no one is waiting, the nice 16-year-old earning minimum wage to run the train will let you stay on for extra rides.

The day our son almost passed out on a kiddie ride, I thought my dreams of sharing…

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Microsoft's Missed Opportunity

Microsoft’s Missed Opportunity

Microsoft is missing an enormous opportunity. I’m a little bit shocked, actually, that the company’s PR people don’t appear to have noticed.

What opportunity, you ask?

First, a few statistics:

NUMBER OF HOMESCHOOLERS:

According to the U. S. government’s National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) and the National Home Education Research Institute, approximately 1.7 millionstudents (ages 5-17)…

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Three Things Every Kid with RAD Needs

Three Things Every Kid with RAD Needs

There is NO silver bullet and NO easy way to overcome Reactive Attachment Disorder. Kids exhibiting RAD symptoms have endured deep loss and continue to grieve. As I understand it, their brains have rewired to compensate. They may experience low levels of emotion or pain. Our daughter was able to turn off her emotions at will, but some of her lack of emotion was not intentional and concerned…

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Adoption Reddit

You may already be familiar with Reddit. Have an interest? Reddit probably has a running discussion; it’s a treasure trove. 

(Careful…it can be addicting. Hilarious kitty pics are hard to ignore.)

If you have Adoption connections, I’d like to recommend that you join the Adoption group* (sub).

If you’re part of the Adoption Triad (an individual who was adopted/fostered, an adoptive/foster parent…

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Why Would I Say That? I used to write down funny things the kids said. (For those of you beginning the journey, keep a journal, send yourself a text, etc.

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Why Kate Spade's Suicide Doesn't Matter

Why Kate Spade’s Suicide Doesn’t Matter

Photo Credit: Housing Works Thrift Shops Kate Spade had it all.

Met a cool guy named Andy. Started a business with him (and they later married). Business skyrocketed and became a household name (at least, in any household including teens or young women).

A New York Times headline describes her as the woman “Whose Handbags Carried Women Into Adulthood,” passionate and approachable.

She and Andy…

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Call to Action, Part 1

Call to Action, Part 1

A passion for the plight of orphans has gripped my core since the first time I read the biography of George Muller.

I was eight years old.

His story of faith and his dedication to rescuing children continues to inspire me.

That book sparked an unwavering, lifelong desire to adopt.

To make a difference with my life.

To stand up, to protect, to speak on behalf of children in need worldwide.

My…

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Grilled Cheese Stress Relief

One Christmas morning, my sister announced she would like to say something.

She made a statement I couldn’t understand. My brother said he would like to add a thought. What he said made no sense to me, and didn’t seem to have anything to do with what my sister said.

Several other family members chimed in.

They acted as though they were having a conversation, appearing to understand each other.

By…

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